Just Like the White Winged Dove
by SKSuncloud
Summary: Kurt never went to spy at Dalton. Things in the New Directions are different. Kurt stayed at McKinley, so the first time he met Blaine was at sectionals...
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**- Kurt never went to spy at Dalton. The first time he met Blaine was at Sectionals. The story starts off with a bit of Kurt and Puck, and then what might have happened if it was Blaine who fell in love with Kurt's voice first.

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><p><strong>Just Like the White Winged Dove<strong>

_Prologue_

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><p>Kurt never went to spy at Dalton. Puck had seen Karofsky shove Kurt into a locker and had let all hell break loose on Karofsky's face the same day the mashoff was announced.<p>

Puck had been acting all badass and tough since he got back, but as they left the choir room Kurt, who seemed significantly more tense and upset, maybe panicky or depressed, than Puck remembered, looked straight at Puck as they were walking out the door together.

"Are you alright?" Kurt asked him. He wasn't. Puck didn't want to go back, but to hear concern from someone he rarely talked to, or even acknowledged, who he used to slushie and who was considerably more broken than he was himself, it meant a lot to Puck. He still had to act cool.

"Yeah, dude. I'm awesome," he replied with a snort. Kurt nodded, and Puck started walking faster. He outpaced Kurt by several steps before he heard the harsh slam.

Karofsky said, "Out of the way, fag!" and was about to pass Puck. Kurt had hit the locker hard, the side of his face red from the impact, and his bag had fallen off his shoulder and hit the floor.

Mercedes yelled Kurt's name and then "What the hell!" after Karofsky.

Puck didn't think. Kurt was just drawing in a breath and as Karofsky came level to Puck. Without a pause, he turned and punched the bully square in the face. Puck wasn't a light-weight. Karofsky was pushed back and stumbled into the lockers on the facing side from where Kurt was now watching Puck with wide eyes and holding his face as Mercedes, Tina and Mike and even Quinn gathered around him.

"How do you like picking on someone your own size, huh?" Puck yelled. Teachers rushed in. No other punches were landed.

Enough people had been crowded in the hall to testify that Puck was defending Kurt, and Kurt had hit the locker hard enough that he was bleeding. It was an instant suspension for Karofsky, recommended expulsion. Puck wasn't so lucky. He was just back from Juvie. Because he'd landed a punch he was on the borderline of going back. Eventually he was given just a week of suspension, luckily, and after a great deal of effort on Kurt's part to keep him out of more trouble.

Sitting in the principal's office after the event, while the parents of all parties involved were called in, and Kurt sat holding an icepack to his face, he looked at Puck. "Thank you," he whispered sincerely. "But you shouldn't have done that."

Puck shrugged and looked over at Kurt. Karofsky was still with the nurse because of the impact from the blow Puck had landed and they weren't sure whether his nose was broken or not. Of course Puck was scared and didn't want to go back, but for the first time ever, Kurt didn't look like an arrogant snob to him. He looked like a victim, and he sounded like a friend.

"It's cool," Puck replied, "Someone needed to stand up for you."

Kurt smiled and looked away to wipe away a tear that he couldn't hold back. "Thanks," he whispered again.

"Yeah, well, you know, if I was gay, or if you were a girl, I'd totally shag you, so... no biggie," Puck said, making Kurt's eyes go wide and his breath hitch in a laugh, just as the Principal walked in with Karofsky and the parents in tow.

Kurt never had a need to go to Dalton. The harassment levels dropped significantly, and Kurt's attitude lightened up again. When Puck finally got back from his suspension they weren't quite friends in the classic sense, but they were closer. They did a duet together for Puck's triumphant return, "Tubthumping," remixed a bit. Otherwise, things were basically normal at McKinley. The New Directions were gearing up for sectionals where they knew they'd be facing the Dalton Academy Warblers, and they had no idea what they were up against.

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><p><strong>AN**- Hope you enjoyed this one with a bit of Puckurt (or Purt?), but the story will turn to **Klaine** from here on out, as we'll be meeting Blaine in the next chapter!


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N**- Kurt never went to spy at Dalton. The first time he met Blaine was at Sectionals. The story starts off with a bit of Kurt and Puck, and then what might have happened if it was Blaine who fell in love with Kurt's voice first.

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><p><strong>Just Like the White Winged Dove<strong>

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><p>Things in Glee club were different at McKinley. The New Directions never got as far as in-fighting. They were banded together. When it came time to divvy up for Sectionals, Schuester caved and Kurt was offered the biggest solo of his life, sharing the spotlight with Mercedes, Tina, and Rachel, as the lead singer in a remix of Stevie Nicks' "Edge of Seventeen." He got to stand at the front of the stage, living it up in the spotlight and feeling stronger and more at home than he'd ever felt in his life. Life was so much easier for Kurt at McKinley without Karofsky around. He wasn't living in fear. Even the people who used to harass him verbally had heard that Noah Puckerman was standing up for Kurt and that the other heavy hitters in the club were prepared to do the same, and they'd backed off for the most part. Friendships were stronger than they had been the previous year, even Rachel was easier to deal with since she had what she'd wanted from her relationship with Finn. Rehearsals for sectionals had actually been fun. When the day finally arrived, they were more than prepared. Kurt was having the time of his life.<p>

The New Directions were playing the first slot of the three Glee clubs. The boys of the acappello team from Dalton Academy, the Warblers, were sitting in the audience. They had the final slot and were eagerly, but confidently, checking out their competition.

Their confidence waned with the opening number. Kurt was a fire on the stage with his girls around him and his voice working through its range. Despite the difference in their voices, Stevie Nicks turned out to be a match for him. New Directions had sexed up the song in the classiest manner. The team was wearing all black, including lace gloves. Kurt was in a suit and top hat like the rest of the boys, and the girls in black dresses with black flowers. As the lights came on, Kurt, Mercedes, Rachel, and Tina were stationed at different corners of the stage, lit for dramatic effect, with simple, but strong choreography. Kurt traded lines with each of the girls in turn and carried the song until the final chorus introduced the entire team and he fell back into formation.

The audience adored it. Kurt couldn't keep his cheeks calm as they were overtaken with all the proper effects of overwhelming joy.

He didn't go unnoticed.

Blaine Anderson only realized he'd been holding his breath when he found himself rising to his feet along with the rest of the audience. When the song ended and they were in their seats, he leaned across the seats to ask the Warbler's captain, Wes, "Who is he?"

"What? The guy with the solo?" Wes asked back. Another Warbler who Blaine was leaning across smirked and elbowed him.

"Oooh. Blaine's got a crush on the competition!"

Blaine blushed and set his lips in a mockingly disdainful smile. He sat back in his seat. A moment of clapping and reformation on the stage passed and then Wes leaned across to Blaine, winked, and said, "I'll find out for you" just as the next song began. Blaine kept his eyes trained on the boy for the rest of their time on stage.

When the New Directions' three-part set had ended and the Warblers were moving backstage to prepare for their number, Wes grabbed Blaine's arm.

"His name is Kurt, and he's out."

"Kurt?" Blaine repeated, trying to ignore anything and everything that could possibly be implied by the latter part of the statement, but grinning despite himself. It was a nice name. It fit him. That fierce look he'd shot at the audience the first time "Just like the white winged dove" passed his lips, and the toothless smile scrunching up his face that he'd failed to hold back when the song ended… they were both just so… _"Kurt."_

"We are going to intercept them on their way offstage and you, Blaine, are going to cordially congratulate the New Directions on their performance."

The rest of the Warblers were in on it now and smiling and patting Blaine on the shoulders. "Just make sure you shake his hand!" one of them said.

"Just hug him. Make him yours," David teased, coming up on the other side of Blaine and leaning into him as a nudge.

Blaine raised both hands in the air casually. "It's nothing like that guys," he was smiling, "I just really enjoyed his voice. I enjoyed the whole performance. It's not—"

"Ask him out!"

They rounded the corner and came face to face with the exact Glee club in question. The New Directions cumulatively looked the dashingly dapper Warblers up and down while Blaine steadied his heart by taking a breath, stepped forward, and did his part as soloist and ambassador. He extended a hand and a dashing smile to their rival team.

"We've never been formally introduced, my name's Blaine," he started off, his hand meeting Schuester's, but his eye catching a glimpse of Kurt at the back of the group. He was talking to the black girl he'd been singing with and they hadn't even noticed the group had stopped until they almost ran into their teammates and Kurt looked up in alarm and moved to see what was holding them up over a taller girl's shoulder. The way he sucked in his lips, the excitement that was still in his eyes, and that he was the only boy in the group still wearing his tophat, were the focus of Blaine's attention as he said, "We're the Warblers. It was a pleasure listening to your performance. It was incredible."

"Thank you," Schuester replied with a smile and a firm shake. Blaine looked over to Kurt hopefully, but he was still at the back and was leaning to say something to the black girl again. Another girl tugged on Kurt's sleeve. To Blaine it just looked a lot like Kurt was a lady's man. His heart flipped a little, and he had to remind himself that it was just a song and that he didn't know anything about this guy, pretty or otherwise.

And he was pretty. He was gorgeous. Pale skin, rosy cheeks, classy… he didn't look like anyone Blaine had ever seen before the same way he didn't sound like anyone Blaine had ever heard. Maybe he was just an appreciative Fleetwood Mac fan, which he was, and he was projecting, but he wanted to get to know Kurt.

The rest of the Warblers had stepped in and introductions were being made, which jostled the group a bit and made it hard to climb back through to the back where the boy was standing—either shyly or haughtily, no way to tell. Blaine had his hand held too long by a hyperactive and talkative brunette apologizing for her lack of a proper solo, and then a sassy brunette and then almost got kissed by the tall blond before he was saved from it by Wes apologizing for having to move the group along to get ready.

His eyes only met Kurt's one more time as they were passing each other, never once touching. They held each other's gaze for a long moment. Blaine decided on shy. Of the two, he looked confident, but if "out" meant _"out"_ then those eyes were saying shy. They turned another corner.

Blaine got a punch in the arm. "You fail!" a teammate chided.

They had to wait through the old people's lovely rendition of "The Living Years," but once they got on the stage, Blaine's whole persona was found. This was where he shined, and he knew it. They all knew it. For the first time ever, the New Directions were going to see Dalton Academy's secret weapon. The confidence was back before they even hit the stage.

"Hey, Soul Sister" was a powerhouse in acappella. Blaine found Kurt in the audience before the number began and when the line "Let you blow my mind" passed his lips, he stepped forward, out of formation, and pointed at him. He fell back in line immediately, but that one moment had established something for Blaine. He wasn't challenging Kurt, because it wasn't a competition to him right then. What he wanted most was for Kurt to be seduced by his singing the way he'd been seduced by "The Edge of Seventeen."

He was focused. He sang the entire rest of the song to Kurt. After a few verses, Rachel, who was sitting beside him, and Mercedes on his other side, were not the only members of the group who began to notice. It was very clear, due to the small scale of the auditorium, who Blaine was pointing to and who his gaze was fixed on. Rachel leaned in and whispered to Kurt, but he was pursing his lips trying to ignore the subtle prodding.

All Kurt could think was, who the hell was this guy, and could it even be possible that there might be a chance…? Kurt had struck out before. He had never been any guy's type and here was one whose voice made him weak. He had to be singing to Rachel. He just had to be. What were the chances that the all-boys school's lead singer would be gay? Because if he was, he was just as appealing to the girls as he was to Kurt.

Blaine was a dream on the stage. The Warblers finished out their set with Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream" which was also sung by Blaine and was also blatantly directed at Kurt. The lyrics, the masculine choreography, the blazers, and that voice were so hot Kurt could feel himself blushing and coming a bit undone sexually, which made him shift awkwardly in his seat. He was eternally grateful that it was so dark. Several times his heart skipped, and when the song ended and the audience erupted to the extent of near violent praise, he leaned over to Mercedes.

"Is it okay if I'm in love with him?" he whispered in her ear, complimenting the question with a bashful smile and a laugh.

Mercedes didn't even need to ask who. Who were they _all _feeling hot and bothered about, after all? She leaned toward him and said a little more loudly, "Sweetheart, I think _he's_ in love with _you_."

"What if he's not gay?" Kurt hissed.

On the other side Rachel was tugging on his arm, "Oh my god! Isn't he dreamy?" she yelled over the clapping, and he agreed, his attention now stolen. Mercedes took his hand and squeezed it, but she didn't have a response. If Blaine-the-Warbler turned out straight she'd just have to apologize to Kurt later for stealing such a catch from him.

The New Directions didn't return to their seats. They had to get backstage and line up for awards. They had to find out that they'd tied for first with the Warblers.

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><p><strong>AN**- I read all of the exceptionally good BadboyBlaine fic, "Go Your Own Way" by Zavacado before revisiting and revising this chapter. It was practically porn, but I was so fixated and adored it all the way through. Now I'm waiting with the rest of you (once you read it if you haven't) for chapter 24, so posting this is going to help tide me over. My fic will not be like that fic. Everyone will stay mostly in character, it's just going to head in more of a "what-if" direction. I truly believe Kurt and Blaine are the soulmate couple of Glee, and that no matter what they'd have ended up together, so that's what's going to happen. Hope you enjoy. Not sure when the next chapter will be up.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N**- I'm back at college now, but I thought maybe I'd get another chapter up quick so there'd be more of the story established before I start having homework. Thank you for the great response it's been getting so far. I hope you all continue to enjoy!

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><p><strong>Just Like The White Winged Dove<strong>

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><p>The next time Blaine's gaze met Kurt's was after they'd received their awards and knew they were heading on to Regionals to face each other again. A stroke of genius lead the Warblers to invite the New Directions to celebrate at Breadstix with them, Warblers' treat. The New Directions accepted unanimously. Blaine looked over at Kurt while a member of his team called ahead and rented out almost the entire restaurant for the two teams. He smiled hopefully, but the response was Kurt blushed red and looking away immediately, falling back into conversation with one of the girls and turning his body so he was no longer facing Blaine.<p>

Blaine bit his lip. He didn't know whether he should pursue Kurt and find out if he even stood a chance, or at least whether Kurt were gay and single, or if he should drop it now. He was getting nothing back, and it wasn't as though he had any experience in the pursuit field to go off of anyway. An elbow in the ribs from a teammate told him giving up wasn't going to be an option. Even so, he failed to secure a ride in the same car as Kurt and instead rode along with the Warblers.

At Breadstix, Kurt tried to take refuge at a table with Mercedes, Tina, and Mike, but Wes and David sat Blaine down right across from Kurt, and slid in beside him, trapping Blaine in a corner, before Tina and Mike could make it over. This left Kurt and Mercedes alone at the mercy of the Warblers. Wes and David shook hands and introduced themselves first, and then Blaine shook Mercedes hand and complimented her amazing voice. Then he took Kurt's hand. It was so soft. He held on longer than he meant to and he squeezed Kurt's fingers.

_You blew my mind_, was what Blaine wanted to say, but Kurt cut him off with a breathy, "You were incredible. Your voice. It was amazing."

Realizing too late how extremely cheesy it sounded, Blaine replied with, "You inspired me."

Mercedes' eyes met Wes and David's in an awkward-trio-smile of third-wheel-ish-ness. As far as she could tell, The Warblers just kept getting better and better. Wes and David were both, in her opinion, much cuter than Blaine and proved to be more sociable than her normally chatty best friend.

A waitress came over and took their orders while Kurt and Blaine were stumbling for words. They ordered and then Mercedes got the after-order lull in conversation started again, "I know this sounds rude, but if you don't mind me asking… are you guys all gay?"

David and Wes chuckled. Blaine choked a little on his drink and smiled. He glanced at his fellow Warblers, and shook his head, "No. No, I mean, I am, but these two, and most of the other guys are straight. They have girlfriends."

The _I am_ stuck out so strong to Kurt. He took a drink to avoid an incredulous statement of, _"You are?"_

"Oh! Do you have a boyfriend?" Mercedes pressed, glancing as obviously as possible to her right at Kurt. Blaine just smiled, tried his hardest not to follow her glance, though his eyes betrayed him, and said "No, I don't." There was some joyous shouting and attention turned to where Puck and several Warblers had produced guitars and Finn had started pounding on the table using utensils like drumsticks.

Over the commotion Kurt wanted to say, _I am too_. Or else _Me either. _Instead, he stayed quiet, raising his glass to his lips to hide his excitement and watching Blaine smile and sing along to first "Pour Some Sugar on Me" and then "We Will Rock You" broke out before food began to arrive. One of the Warblers was a human beat box and he quickly became a favorite of the New Directions. Schuester had his work cut out for him keeping the teenagers off the tables and the noise down to a dull roar.

Once the food arrived, Kurt spent the meal trying hard not to watch Blaine eat or to blush each time he caught Blaine's eyes on him. The food felt like it was sticking in his throat and he was finding it exponentially harder to swallow in relation to the attention Blaine was giving him. He kept his feet tucked under the seat to avoid accidentally letting the toes of their shoes touch.

Mercedes was carrying on fantastically and Blaine was proving what a charming person he was by joining in on the banter, but Kurt was laconic. He smiled and answered questions and jokes with his usual wit, but he could hardly move his vocal chords to speak to Blaine and he was feeling overly conscious of his appearance. He mostly shifted in his seat a lot and let his eyes drift around the room like he was looking for someone.

Blaine wasn't sure how to read him, but he'd seen the change in Kurt's eyes after Mercedes' question. After Kurt managed a particularly witty comeback to one of David's comments on Regionals, Blaine tried to encourage Kurt to continue talking, by asking, "Will you be featured again at Regionals, Kurt?"

At the sound of his name, the boy choked on his drink and just shook his head, cheeks turning red and head turning away from the group while he composed himself. Mercedes once again took over with, "Only if he's willing to arm-wrestle Rachel from now till then."

Blaine nodded and didn't directly address Kurt for the rest of the meal. He kept looking up, but he tried not to get his hopes up. He liked everything about Kurt so far, but he hated making him feel awkward. Kurt's discomfort was just making him uncomfortable as well. Maybe it wasn't worth it.

After dinner and a few impromptu performances there were hugs shared between the teams and mutual reminders that they were still rivals for Regionals as they got ready to part ways. For the most part it was heartening that they got along so amicably. Their schools weren't right next door, and they shared no sports teams so there had never been, and would never again, be a reason for them to meet and get to know each other outside of Glee. This occurred to Blaine as he watched Kurt prepare to slink off. It made Blaine smile to see that Kurt was shy enough that he'd rather walk back to his car and wait than be the center of attention even though he clearly craved and deserved it. Blaine had easily accepted the spotlight since he'd joined the Warblers. He'd even taken over leading the songs between dinner and dessert. He'd always relished the positive reinforcement singing gave him. He and Rachel in particular had put on an enormous show at the front of the room, and now he felt a bit embarrassed about it. He'd never meant to alienate Kurt, and he felt bad that he was so indulgent and couldn't have been as classy as the boy whose back he was staring at.

With a glance around to all the encouraging faces of his team, he decided to take a chance.

He hurried out from the group in order to cut Kurt off before he reached the car to go home. Finn was headed there also, with an arm around Rachel, clinking the keys in his hand.

"Kurt!" Blaine called, jogging to catch up.

Kurt turned around at the sound of his name halfway between the Stix and the car. It took several seconds, after being shocked and pleased to the deepest reaches of his core that it was the one-and-only teenage dream, to catch his breath and ask, "Yes?" He was desperately hoping he hadn't just left his wallet on the bench. He could see that all of the Warblers were now facing him and grinning. Finn and Rachel had reached the car, but they walked back toward Kurt a few steps. Rachel had a big grin and was squeezing Finn's arm affectionately. Finn was looking frowny and defensive. Puck was also at the car, since they were driving him home, and he moved around it so that he was prepared to act like a body guard in the (very unlikely) off-chance something might go down.

"It was…," Blaine started off, noticing Kurt's glance behind him, so he turned to see all his friends staring at him, and then noticed over Kurt's shoulder that the two most intimidating guys in the club were just waiting for him to make a move. He lowered his voice, "It was really nice to meet you… Kurt. And to hear you sing. I was just…I was wondering if, completely off the clock, you'd like to get coffee next week?"

Puck elbowed Finn in the ribs, having figured it all out even though he couldn't hear them. He catcalled and yelled at Kurt to hurry it up. There were smiles erupting among the Warblers. Blaine's proposal appeared to be a public event, and Kurt was trying not to revel in it. Finn was still just frowning.

Kurt was looking at the ground, trying not to meet Blaine's gaze and thankful for the darkness. He was trying to force down the smile that was taking over his face and the impulse to just bounce into Blaine's arms and plan the wedding date. Where had someone this smooth and beautiful and confident come from? _He's gay_, Kurt reminded himself happily wishing it wouldn't be obvious if he pinched himself on the arm. _He's asking you out. _How did those guys from Dalton just accept him so easily? How come there wasn't anyone calling them names of making disgusted noises? Was it really this easy to get asked out in the middle of a parking lot by a guy you'd only met a few hours before? Kurt couldn't open his mouth without smiling broadly.

"Coffee?" he asked, and Blaine confirmed. "At the Lima Bean after school Wednesday?"

"That would be perfect," Blaine sighed and smiled.

Kurt tried not to sway with joy, "I would love to."

They exchanged numbers, to the sound of a few hoots and hollers.

"Wednesday. I'll see you then," Blaine agreed with a wink. He touched Kurt's shoulder lightly, then turned back to rejoin and catch a ride home with one of his fellow Warblers.

Kurt breathed deeply and had to remind himself that, for all he knew someone else would be joining them. It might not be a date. But right at that moment—watching Blaine get patted on the back and seeing the smiles and winks directed back at him, and turning to get attacked with a high-five by Puck, a tight hug from Rachel, and encouraging thumbs ups from Mike Chang, Tina, and Mercedes—it felt like a date. Kurt had been asked out on his first date by a dreamy private academy guy with a dreamy voice and dreamy eyes.

_Asked out._ It felt so good. He squeaked a bit at Mercedes and she gave him a kiss on the cheek and promised to be around for clothing commiseration and reminded him that he could text her any time.

Kurt bit his lip and smiled the whole way home.

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><p><strong>AN-** Question. Is it confusing that I keep weaving in between Kurt and Blaine's perspectives? Normally I'd pick one and go with it, but it feels like I can get a lot more done if I stay omniscient. Is it confusing people or annoying to read? Other than that, hope you enjoyed it. Keep your eyes open for the chapter about the date!


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N**- I've been so excited about this story! I've written and planned a lot farther than what's posted so I keep sitting here being like, "It's gonna be so good, you guys don't even KNOW!" but then I realize I could just post and save us all the trouble… I hope you guys are enjoying it! It's time for Kurt to go on a date so we can start plot-er-izing… ? Anyway. A few of you gave stellar reviews and your ideas are not being ignored. Not this chapter, but the next one… a few of you may possibly see what you've suggested…Enjoy!

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><p><strong>Just Like The White Winged Dove<strong>

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><p>Kurt had spent the weekend and the few days leading up to Wednesday trying to figure out whether or not it was a date and what to wear that would be perfect and seem fabulously casual regardless of whether it turned out to be or not. He'd been in consultation with magazines, the internet, Mercedes and Rachel, but while sitting down at Lima Bean he realized he wasn't satisfied with what he'd chosen. He felt too frumpy for a date and too fashionable for a casual coffee meeting.<p>

He got a text at that moment. It was from Rachel, so he ignored it.

Dalton Academy let out later than McKinley, but luckily Blaine didn't have Warbler practice to attend Wednesdays, so he'd promised to meet up with Kurt as soon as he got out of class. Still, he would be several minutes from arriving. Kurt had decided to just get to the coffee shop, order, and take the time before Blaine arrived to calm himself down. Making a dramatic entrance on a scene he wasn't one hundred percent sure about would just make him more nervous right now. He'd never been anyone's boyfriend before. Despite some really sweet texts, he still wasn't sure he _was_ anyone's boyfriend or that he was even sitting there, dressed up in what he liked to think was not quite the right combination of casual and chic, waiting for a date. He'd only spoken with Blaine once, and that was within the context of a larger group of people. This would be his first time speaking to, or seeing Blaine alone, and he didn't know what to expect.

Another problem was Finn. He'd been absolutely sure that Blaine meant to get close to him as a set up for spying, the way Jesse St James had to Rachel the year before. It had taken a lot to talk him down from a rage, mostly by reminding him that it wasn't his life and to stay out of it, which wasn't effective until the rest of the Glee club had gotten involved on Monday and had agreed unanimously that Kurt was more responsible and aware than Rachel and would not make the same mistake.

That Wednesday morning, Kurt had been apprehended by Puck. In a weird way, Puck was being Kurt's biggest fan and support. He asked Kurt, "Are you still going out with the prancing pony private academy nancy-boy?"

From Puck, and really only from Puck, this was meant to be endearing. Kurt replied, "It's just for coffee." Puck shifted uncomfortably. "Don't tell me you're on Finn's side suddenly," Kurt frowned at him.

Puck denied it. They were still in the boy's locker room and Kurt was eager to get out of it. "I just wanted to let you know," Puck said slowly, running his tongue between his teeth and gums while he paused, "Karofsky's suspension is ending next week."

Kurt had forgotten about that. Puck had forgotten about it too, but Rachel had confronted him a few hours before reminding him not to get into fights that could cost them Regionals. Kurt didn't speak, he just nodded slowly, so Puck gave him a punch in the arm, which made Kurt cringe audibly. He told Kurt to chill in a voice that made him want to, and said Finn would get over himself about Blaine and they'd both be there to watch out for Kurt. Then he promised they'd beat the shit out of Karofsky if he tried anything. He gave Kurt a small shove to show he meant it and then headed off for his first class.

Kurt closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath. He was glad Puck wasn't gay. If he were, he'd have probably ended up dating him ages ago because Puck kept being his hero… But that never seemed to end well for anyone. Kurt was always going to be better friends with his girls, but it was nice sometimes, especially with Puck, to be reminded that he had boys on his side too.

Kurt was finishing his coffee and wishing he could re-spray his hair when Blaine finally showed up, walking through the doors like he was walking on stage and glancing about with the air of someone who knows exactly what they're looking for and expects to find it.

He'd texted to tell Kurt he was leaving Dalton, and he'd gotten to Lima Bean a few minutes later. Kurt forced himself not to get up out of the seat or to wave and instead pretended he was interested in his cell phone and waited till Blaine approached the table.

"Hello, Kurt," Blaine said, looking him up and down. _You look even better out of costume. Are those designer pants?_ He wanted to ask, but focused on steady breathing instead. Kurt looked up with a tentative smile and Blaine wanted to pinch himself.

Kurt loved that Blaine was still wearing his Dalton Academy blazer. It looked amazing on him, even more refined in a casual setting than it had on stage. He was trying not to be overjoyed that Blaine had come in alone and did not seem to be expecting anyone else because he hadn't commented on Kurt's choice of a table with only two chairs.

"Hi," was all Kurt could manage to reply, choosing to stand now.

There was no etiquette available in either of their buckets of knowledge for how to interact in this situation. No idea of whether they should hug or shake hands or what, so they stood awkwardly facing one another for a moment before Blaine noticed Kurt's coffee cup. "Ah. I see you're not going to let me pay for your coffee."

Kurt could feel himself go red. He bit his lip. The coffee cup was now seated like a dangerous foe in the middle of the table, a slight stain around the lip of the lid which he suddenly found very interesting.

"Sorry, I just went ahead since I got here early. To tide myself over," he tried.

Blaine sloughed off his bag and set it on the chair, claiming his place and solidifying his presence. "I'm sorry I'm so late," he said, raising his eyebrows and looking slightly embarrassed.

"Oh no! No, no, you're exactly on time. I just…" Kurt trailed off to avoid saying "_couldn't wait."_

"Just?"

Kurt paused. He'd been hoping Blaine wouldn't pick up on that last syllable. He rolled the idea around in his mouth and then it came out awkwardly, "Just… love… coffee."

Blaine smiled. This was too awkward. He knew he didn't know how to act. He knew this was strange, but he hadn't been able to get Kurt out of his mind since Sectionals. He'd had dreams about him and woken up telling himself those soft hands and milky, perfect face couldn't be at all accurate. But they were. He'd never met someone who looked like Kurt. On a superficial level, Kurt was the most beautiful and unique person he'd ever met— he was like a hand crafted porcelain doll. This was the same boy who had sung that song at sectionals and looked like a classical leading man. Knowing what Kurt's voice was like, and having been unable to refrain himself from listening to "The Edge of Seventeen" on repeat for the past few days, Blaine was just hoping he wouldn't be disappointed now that he had Kurt alone. He hoped their personalities would mesh and it wasn't just a fantasy. He hoped that this date would allow him to see if they could maybe be boyfriends. Or maybe, at least, they could be friends.

"I love coffee too," Blaine replied, "How about you let me get you some more. What do you drink?"

"Ah…grande nonfat mocha," Kurt said, then Blaine winked and told him he'd be right back.

What Blaine failed to notice as he walked up to the counter to place their orders, and what Kurt didn't, was a gaggle of girls in sunglasses sitting just far enough away and glancing back just often enough to be conspicuous. Kurt pursed his lips, opened his phone and texted Rachel.

_What are you doing here?_

The first reply came from Tina, _Spying._

Rachel's reply was, _Just out for coffee. Total coincidence seeing you here!_ As she turned around and waved at him and then turned back to her coffee.

Kurt texted Rachel back, _Well cut it out._

_We're just worried about you_, was the text back from Tina. Mercedes wasn't among the group. She's opted to let Kurt do his own thing, but Rachel had wrangled up Tina and Santana, who was mostly just bored and uninterested in anything but whether or not Blaine was actually gay.

Blaine arrived back at the table with two paper cups before Kurt could text back and he slammed his phone shut and put it in his bag.

"Texting someone?" Blaine asked as he set down the coffee in front of Kurt and reiterated the order to make sure he'd gotten it right.

"No one important," Kurt said, with a glare toward his stalker friends.

Blaine sat down and crossed his legs. Kurt's diagnosis was that Blaine was confident and amazing no matter where he was. It was like the blazer gave him a sort of executive power and he could be whatever he wanted or get whatever he needed and he was safe and calm in any environment. "How was school?"

Kurt raised his eyebrows at the attempt at small talk. "Uneventful. We had a celebration in Glee club. We're starting to get ready for regionals. By which I mean messing around for a while so we can panic at the last moment."

Blaine grinned and nodded, "Same for The Warblers. Except we're usually pretty good about not panicking."

Kurt sipped his coffee. It seemed to taste even better than usual.

Blaine continued the conversation after a pause, "So… I should have asked the other day, but… are you…"

"Gay?" Kurt picked up the conversation quickly. His confidence coming back with the promise that Blaine was at least interested. "Yes. I'm the only person out at McKinley. Honestly I'd been starting to think I was the only one out in Ohio."

The "yes" had lifted Blaine's hopes, but the following response was a bit crushing. He worked his jaw. He knew McKinley was a public school, and he'd been to public school. He'd been out at a public school. "That must be hard," he commented softly, and then sipped his own beverage.

Kurt smiled, and shrugged. "It was. It still is. I mean, my friends have been amazing. Glee club has really supported me."

Blaine's eyebrows were knit with some concern. Kurt's eyes were on his coffee cup, which he was turning around in his hands.

"There was this Neanderthal who was trying to make my life a living hell, but Puck, um, you know, the scary looking one with the Mohawk and the swagger?" Blaine agreed that he remembered him, having been slightly intimidated by him not so many days ago. Kurt continued, "He stood up for me. We were barely friends and now… now I haven't been scared for a long time. People aren't all okay with who I am, and I know that, but at least I've felt safe at McKinley. I know they understand me there."

"That's amazing," Blaine murmured.

"It's nice. I don't know how I got so lucky. New Directions accept me, my dad accepts me… I'm lonely, but I'm not alone." He smiled and Blaine's eyes traced the dimples in his cheeks and then when Kurt scrunched up his nose to stifle an awkward laugh he watched the way his face crinkled. It was reassuring to Kurt to be able to say he had support now, even with the promise of Karofsky's return on his mind.

"You are really lucky."

Kurt looked up at Blaine. He didn't want the conversation to die being all about himself. "I'm sure The Warblers are really accepting of you, too. You seem to be their star."

Blaine laughed. He shook his head. "I'm hardly more than a front-man. But yes, they have been really supportive. All of Dalton has. I mean, there are hardly any other guys like me, but Dalton has a zero-tolerance for harassment program that's strictly enforced, and that was important for me after my old school."

Kurt frowned, "You were harassed at your old school?"

Blaine looked away and his face fell blank, like a shield, as he nodded, then he looked back at Kurt and smiled, "They weren't very… understanding when I came out and I had to transfer. But at Dalton I get to sing, and perform, and I love it. Being a Warbler has been the best experience of my life."

Kurt smiled at him. It was weird to be sharing stories of acceptance. It was more like being at a gay confessional than on a date, but it was relaxing. The tension that had been knotting up in his shoulders earlier seemed to be working itself out. For the first time since he'd accepted himself, he was being shown proof that he wasn't alone in the trials that acceptance had put him through. It felt amazing.

Blaine sucked in his lower lip and looked at Kurt's soft hands wrapped around the paper coffee cup. He knew he wasn't good at flirting. The conversation they'd been having was a lot more depressing than sexy and he felt responsible. There was no way Kurt would believe this was a date at this rate. Even so… He felt really comfortable with Kurt. He liked sitting there across from him, and although he thought it was inappropriate this early in their acquaintance, he felt like he could share his life story with this boy. He wondered whether or not it meant more to him to have Kurt as his boyfriend, or to have a best friend who he felt relaxed like this around. He'd never done this before, he didn't want to screw it up by rushing into a relationship neither one of them might be prepared for, but a little voice that sounded like a nagging Warbler in his brain kept telling him to go for it.

"Also, being a Warbler gave me the opportunity to hear you sing," he tried and watched Kurt blush and then overcome it with a streak of cockiness Blaine hadn't seen yet.

"Yes, well, that was definitely the highlight of the whole evening." For a half second, Blaine thought he might be serious and he raised his eyebrows. Kurt was nodding sagely to himself, but after a second he shook his head and laughed. "No, no, I'm joking," he assured Blaine, "You were much better. You killed it."

"What? Singing Katy Perry?" Blaine smiled. He breathed a sigh of relief, "No, I'm pretty sure Stevie Nicks tops Katy Perry every time."

"Depending on who sings who," Kurt pointed out wryly. His eyes were an intensely green blue and flicked between Blaine's eyes, observing each twice before dropping back down to the table. Blaine's eyes flicked toward Kurt's lips.

"Well, you won. I've never heard a voice like yours before. It was outstanding. I'm sure I wasn't the only person in the crowd who was taken with you."

_That was definitely flirting. Play it cool._ Blaine told himself, horrified that he'd let himself say that. He sipped his drink in an attempt to appear casual, but he was blushing.

Kurt was blushing too and sucking in his lower lip. "_Taken with you" _was running over and over again like a mantra in his head. He glanced over at the girls and noticed they'd moved a few tables closer and that Santana was now absent and replaced with Mike Chang who was just putting on his sunglasses. If he weren't frustrated with them being there he'd have been relieved at the distraction. When Rachel turned around to look he shot her a deathglare that he hoped looked a lot like _"Blaine is flirting with me! He's so attractive! What do I do?"_ He felt the pocket of his bag vibrate and then vibrate again. He wanted to know what it said, but he wasn't about to ruin his date by rudely checking his phone.

Kurt tried to focus. "If only they'd let me dress like her," he said, referring to Stevie Nicks.

"I thought you looked fabulous. Clean, black, chic…"

"Still, it would have been fun—"

"To wear the flowing skirts?"

"Yes! All those layers? I got vetoed. Some thought it would be too much self-expression for one concert."

Blaine sat up straighter, but didn't seem more tense. "I'm not one to talk, since I wear a uniform, but I personally don't believe there's such a thing as too much expression. Not when you know how to wear it."

"Which I do," Kurt teased.

"Which you do," Blaine agreed. Kurt practically glowed.

Their conversation carried on easily from there. Their interests were surprisingly similar. Blaine was unnaturally charming and polite and Kurt was honest and sharp. By the time the shop started getting ready to close and Blaine thought to look at his phone and realized it was past time for him to be going and for Kurt to make it home in time for dinner, Tina and Mike were long gone and Rachel was doing her homework while she waited to ambush Kurt on his way out. Happily for Kurt, she never got the chance because Blaine offered to walk Kurt to his car. They agreed to meet again at the same time the following week, and said a heartfelt goodbye without touching once. Blaine didn't know whether to go in for a hug or a kiss, and Kurt just clutched at the shoulder strap of his bag until too much time had passed and it seemed best to just part ways with the promise of texting later.

That night Kurt sat beside his phone and stared at it while trying to finish his homework. He was listening to "Teenage Dream" on repeat and finally he decided to text Blaine.

In his inbox were 29 messages, mostly from Rachel, but they were all variations of warnings and questions and he was continuing to ignore her. He texted, _I had fun. Can't wait to see you next week._

Blaine texted back almost immediately and it made Kurt's heart dance. _If you don't mind stopping for shoes at the mall you could see me tomorrow. :)_

Kurt hugged the phone to his chest and let out a squeal. That was something, right? That was definitely something.

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><p><strong>AN**- While writing this chapter I realized that I've arranged the storyline so that Kurt hasn't found out Karofsky is gay… that might become a plot point maybe next chapter. :)


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N**- I have a lot of smiles for you for this chapter. Parts of this chapter line up to parts from the show, but remember that the timeline has changed, so I've changed things around too.

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><p><strong>Just Like the White Winged Dove<strong>

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><p>Somehow, Kurt had managed to see Blaine every day for the rest of the week. They'd gone shopping for shoes on Thursday, and Kurt had ended up with more shoes than Blaine, which had made Blaine giggle adorably. On Friday Kurt managed to invite Blaine over to dinner without allowing his somewhat suspicious, and recently extended, family to behave too strangely, and without confirming whether or not they were dating. On Saturday they'd ended up back at Lima Bean and then gone to see a movie together. Kurt had managed to ignore the curious inquiries from his friends all week, other than to gush privately to Mercedes over lunch Friday and assure her she was still the only woman in his life. Come Sunday, however, the realization that Karofsky would be back at school hit him hard.<p>

There wasn't much homework to do that weekend, luckily, because he'd been sitting in his room skimming the same chapter for over an hour wondering if he'd be safe if he wore a disguise or became Puck's backpack. His father came to check on him and reassured him that the kid had probably learned his lesson, but that if he so much as looked at Kurt funny he was going to get his ass expelled. It helped, but it didn't solve anything. After another miserable hour, Kurt reached for his phone. Although his friends knew Sunday was his homework and outfit planning day and wouldn't have called, and he'd told Blaine the same, he was hoping there would be a message on it.

The screen lit up and there was nothing. He scrolled through his contacts until he found Blaine's name. It read _Blaine Warbler_ and it made him smile just to look at the words. There was also a picture of Blaine in his phone from their shopping excursion where Blaine was wearing a wide brimmed hat, aviators, and holding four different bowties up under his chin while grinning at the camera. Kurt liked that side of Blaine. The dashingly dapper side made his heart beat fast and his body heat rush to places which were unmentionable and made public interactions require long, concealing clothing, but the dorky side that Blaine tried so hard to hide, but which peeked out occasionally… that was Kurt's favorite. When Blaine didn't just laugh, but actually giggled, and when he got overly excited about something small like the sunny weather or how cute he thought toddler-sized designer shoes were, even when Kurt thought it was stupid and rolled his eyes, he was completely taken with him.

He pressed his fingers into the keys carefully, revising the message over and over again in his head and finally sent, _What would you say to me transfering to Dalton and joining the Warblers?_

He was hoping he'd receive a quip back, something along the lines of, _Only if you can pull off the blazer!_ which he totally could, or else, _The homework will only be harder!_ or, _The solos are mine! _or something like that.

No response, so he let his mind wander back to how much it had hurt to be shoved into the lockers—something he'd come to enjoy living without—and to the complete terror he'd felt the weeks leading up to that fight. He used to take the long way to his locker or to classes if he knew it would allow him to avoid Karofsky or any of the other football players who would shove him or taunt him or threaten to beat him up. He had timed himself in gym class to never be in the locker room when Finn or another one of the Glee guys weren't in there. For all of high school he'd been bullied, but Karofsky had been a different kind of bully this year. It wasn't just idle threats and mild abuse, it was serious. He couldn't believe how lucky he was that Puck had gotten himself thrown into the mix, and had no idea what might have happened if he hadn't. But now the respite was over. What if things went back to being difficult again?

His phone buzzed. He picked it up and flipped it open. On the screen was Blaine's response: _Is everything okay?_

In Kurt's throat, just above his heart, a lump immediately formed. It affected his breath, which came out in three short gasps before he felt his nose get warm and tears well up against the bottom lid of his eye. He swallowed to choke it all back down. It wasn't as bad as that. Puck had punched Karofsky in the face. Puck said he'd do it again. Finn was there for him as more than just friends: they were brothers now. Karofsky wouldn't be a problem.

_The Neanderthal's suspension ends tomorrow. _

Almost immediately a text came back.

_Do you want to talk?_

"_Yes" _Kurt thought. He did want to talk, but he didn't want to cry over the phone to Blaine. He wanted Blaine to think he was cool, not to know he was terrified over something as little and silly as a former high school bully who probably didn't care at all about making his life hell anymore.

Kurt decided to send, _I'm fine. I just need to remember to be brave._

A few minutes later the phone buzzed again and this time it said, _I'll remind you._

Kurt stared at the message and then grinned. It wasn't much but it was sweet. It was more than sweet, it negated all the horrible feelings of dread Kurt had about the following day. He hugged the phone to his chest. If this wasn't what falling in love was like, then he didn't understand love at all.

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><p>The next day there weren't any problems. Finn had insisted, at Burt's request, on walking Kurt to his first class, and from there the Glee club seemed to have formed an escort service to cart Kurt around between classes so he'd never be alone. He appreciated it, but after having to walk with Santana and Brittney, the latter who wanted to hold his hand and the former who didn't want to allow it, it just seemed tedious. He hadn't caught a single glimpse of Karofsky. For all he knew, Puck had gotten the date wrong and all this attention was for nothing.<p>

He was getting annoyed at having to be picked up and dropped off, but not everything was terrible. Every so often his pocket would vibrate and he'd sneak a peek only to find an all caps message from Blaine:

_COURAGE_

He couldn't hold back a smile against the tenseness in his cheeks. A few times he held his sleeve to his lips to keep from giggling in class. Even after the third one, it hadn't gotten old. It made his heart flutter to think Blaine was thinking about him so often. They'd only known each other a little over a week and already Blaine was thinking about him through the day.

_COURAGE_

It gave him loads, even if he didn't turn out to need any.

The end of the day rolled around and he hadn't had so much as a back-of-the-head sighting of the bully. He was packing up his books in his locker and talking to Mercedes and Sam, when the fifth message came. He was unable to contain his grin and so Mercedes snatched the phone out of his hand. So far she had a clearer idea of their relationship than anyone, but Kurt didn't want to go into further details with Sam hanging around. To avoid the affectionate look and coo and the questions she was shooting at him, he started digging through his bag, seeking out his iPod so he could drown her out with Lady Gaga.

But his iPod wasn't in his bag. He checked his locker and then looked around on the floor.

"Everything okay, man?" Sam asked.

"What're you looking for?" Mercedes asked.

Kurt thought hard. The only place it could have fallen out… where would that have been? "My iPod. I must have left it somewhere."

"Oh. Like your gym locker?" Sam asked.

Although that wouldn't have normally occurred to Kurt, it made sense. He tried not to swear. At least if it was there it wasn't stolen. He didn't need to be replacing expensive electronics like that right then. "That has to be where it is," he agreed.

"Yeah. I do that all the time. Leave stuff in my locker, I mean. Want me to go get it for you?"

"No, I can get it," Kurt replied, taking one last desperate look through the pockets of his bag.

"Kurt," Mercedes said sternly, "You shouldn't go back and look for it on your own."

Kurt paused. He knew she was right, but he was tired of the special treatment. What was bravery about, anyway? He'd be going places alone, being an open target, once the Glee club started to forget and stopped trying to treat him like an invalid. "I'll be fine. I haven't even seen Karofsky all day."

"Yeah? Well I have," she replied, "And minus the bruised face, he looks the same as always."

"Just tell me your combination and I'll run back and grab it, dude," Sam insisted. Kurt adjusted his bag on his shoulder.

"No," he replied. "I know this sounds stupid, but I'm fine. I should be able to go back to my own gym locker without being afraid I might somehow catch a glimpse of a big scary bully. There are bullies all over this school. I can't just hide out and have you guys run errands for me when one of them might be somewhere. This is my school too!"

"Kurt, you know that's not how it is…" Mercedes warned.

"I know. I'm just…" he sighed and gave her a pleading look. "It's not like I'm going to run into Karofsky between here and there anyway. You and Sam just go on ahead and I'll catch up in five minutes."

"Four minutes, no more," Mercedes corrected tartly, with her most motherly look planted on her face. Kurt scrunched up his lips affectionately at her.

"I'll catch right back up. I have my phone with me if anything does happen to happen." Then he closed his locker and went the opposite way back toward the gym.

He looked at the last message from Blaine again to steady himself before walking up to the locker room door. Courageous or not, he could feel his palms sweat with anticipation and his heartbeat quicken as his fight-or-flight reflex awakened.

_COURAGE._

He cracked the door and looked in, listening intently. No one else was in the locker room. He breathed a sigh of relief and walked to his locker. Inside, his iPod was sitting innocently at the bottom. He smiled at it and scrolled through the first playlist. Bravery came in handy; he felt cool and confident. There had been no incidents, no gangbanging mass of homophobic marauders—

"Started hanging out in the locker room since I've been gone, have you?"

"_No…"_ Kurt could feel an audible change in the air and would have sworn he could see his own breath. His teeth were already chattering. He clenched down on them to shut them up. He should have had Sam come. Why hadn't he had Sam come?

"Where're your little girl scouts? I thought they didn't let you out without holding someone's hand anymore."

Kurt shut his locker slowly. It was unfortunate that both exits were quickest reached from exactly where Karofsky was standing, seven feet away, staring Kurt down.

"Just let me leave," Kurt said softly. To him it sounded like the words reverberated off of every surface, making his voice sound hollow and empty.

"What was that?" Karofsky asked. He hadn't changed. That villainous undertone in his voice was still there.

Kurt's phone vibrated again and he held onto it, imagining another message of _COURAGE_ from Blaine. He closed his eyes and pictured the text. "Just let me leave. I don't want to be around you."

"Yeah? Well I don't want to be around you either, but here you are."

"Let me go, Karofsky…"

"You know your little stunt with Puckerman's going to cost me any shot at a football scholarship?" He stepped closer, so Kurt stepped further back. If Karofsky would follow him down this set of lockers, he could duck around them and head up the next one and to the door as long as he was able to outrun the bulldozer. His mouth felt dry.

"_You_ were bullying _me_," Kurt reminded him. "Puck was just standing up for me."

"Yeah... I'm sure you and Puck are very happy together."

Kurt's phone vibrated again and it caught Karofsky's attention.

"That him now? Calling to ask where his buttmonkey is?"

Kurt clenched the phone in his fist. It was Blaine. It was Blaine directing all the confidence and strength he had at Kurt. He didn't want to waste it. He raised his voice, "What is your problem with me, anyway? What are you so afraid of?"

"Oh? Other than you having a sick _gay_ crush on me?"

Kurt felt like punching something, or kicking it. If he were as strong as Puck he'd have lunged at Karofsky. Instead he just yelled, "Oh I'm sure! That's every straight guy's nightmare, isn't it? That I'd somehow go for a sweaty, fat, ugly, lump like you."

Karofsky didn't hold back. He did hit something. He slammed the side of his fist against the nearest locker, making a horrible bang and took a few rushed steps closer. Kurt jumped and the color left his face. Karofsky yelled, "I swear to God I'll knock your face off, Hummel!"

Kurt's voice shook, "Yeah? Try it!" He could not believe he was challenging someone who could actually kill him with his bare hands, but it was too late to turn back. He'd had an escape route planned… what was it? It suddenly hurt to breathe. He felt dizzy. His legs felt weak. He channeled everything to his voice, "You can punch me all you want, but I am never going to change and neither are you. I'll always be gay and you'll be bald by the time you're thirty."

He hadn't realized how close Karofsky was till he realized he could smell him. He used OldSpice deodorant and it stunk up the air between them. Kurt hadn't realized he was within reach and suddenly his legs were too wobbly to stand on. Karofsky was quickly looming over him and he turned himself so that his back was against the locker, hoping to at least stand his ground. Defeated? Trapped? His phone was buzzing continuously in his hand. He squeezed it.

"Don't push me, Hummel." Karofsky's voice was softer and more terrifying than it had been when he was shouting. He was only two feet away. He was far too close. Kurt's voice was still stronger than his legs.

"You're still just a scared little child. You're going to go your entire life afraid that every gay guy is going to somehow convert you and you'll be miserable and beat up people who are better than you because you can't understand how completely ordinary you are!"

It was all in a single breath and it ended when Kurt gasped in the air from Karofsky's lungs. Their lips were pressed together. Kurt's cheeks were gripped in Karofsky's hands. His phone was still buzzing between them. Dave Karofsky's lips were surprisingly soft, but all Kurt could feel was the desperate panic rushing through him. There was nowhere to go, with his back up against the locker he couldn't even pull away. This guy threatened him. He hurt him. Were they…?

Karofsky was kissing him.

After a long moment the perpetrator pulled away. The disgust was showing plainly on Kurt's contorted face, but Karofsky didn't care. That was right. For the first time in his life that was what he wanted more than anything; Kurt's soft lips, his breath, his face, his body… Karofsky leaned in quickly for another kiss, but it didn't land this time.

As Karofsky leaned in again, Kurt put out both hands with a gasp, one still wrapped around his cell phone, and pushed hard against his chest. It wasn't enough to move Karofsky away, but he stopped for a split second, which let Kurt curl his body to the side, removing his vital organs and, more importantly, his lips from Karofsky's immediate path.

For a moment the Neanderthal just stared at Kurt. The phone had stopped buzzing. Kurt's eyes were huge with horror, and focused on nothing in particular. Karofsky slammed his fist into the locker above Kurt's head and saw how hard he flinched. He pushed himself away and stormed out before he could start crying. The best thing he'd experienced in his life, and he'd ruined it before it had even begun.

Kurt's hands were trembling, and he brought them to his lips to the sound of Karofsky violently exiting the locker room yelling, "Tell and I'll kill you!"

He'd just lost his first kiss to Dave Karofsky. His first ever real, official kiss with a boy… and it made him want to vomit.

His stomach curled in on itself. He tried to breathe. He tried hugging himself. He let his knees give way and knelt to the floor. How long had he been terrorized by this guy, and for what? To find out now that Karofsky just couldn't accept himself and was taking it out on _him_?

His phone buzzed again and tears were running down his cheeks. He'd wanted his first kiss to be with Blaine…

The call was from Mercedes. She was listed as _My Diva_ in his phone. He opened it and she immediately asked, "Kurt? Kurt, what's taking so long? Sam's headed back to look for you." She'd called three times, having worried once the five minutes were up. Blaine's last text read, _So how was your day?_

Kurt had wanted his first kiss to be perfect…

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><p><strong>AN**- I'm figuring out and catching up on my timeline. Hang tight. I'll contextualize next chapter.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N**- In my world, everyone texts proper sentences with real words and proper punctuation. I know that doesn't happen in the real world, but I couldn't bring myself to come up with "texting" text for each character. Please just accept it and don't send me comments about how it's unrealistic. Instead, please begin texting in the style I demonstrate in this chapter and encourage your friends to do the same. Together, we can change the world.

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><p><strong>Just Like The White Winged Dove<strong>

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><p>Kurt had gained control of himself before Sam burst through the locker room doors yelling, "Kurt? Kurt where are you? I just saw Karofsky leaving." He had wiped his face dry, steadied his voice enough to tell Mercedes he was alright over the phone, and stood back up before Sam rounded the lockers.<p>

Mercedes could tell something was up, but she let him shake it off and blow off their plans because he said he wanted to go home so he could study for a pop quiz the following day.

At home, he lay on his side on his bed for several hours. No amount of rigorous tooth brushing or face washing could remove the memory of how Karofsky's lips felt against his, and there was nothing that could take the smell of OldSpice from Kurt's mind. He doused himself in cologne, but that just smelled retched too. There was just nothing that could make it okay. Kurt felt filthy, even after two showers. He felt horrible. He couldn't bring himself to answer the texts he was receiving every couple of minutes.

Mercedes: _Call me if you need to talk. I'm worried._

Tina: _Mercedes told me something happened after school. Are you okay?_

Blaine: _Did everything go okay with that bully?_

Rachel: _Remember we have a pop quiz tomorrow and also need to start working on our duet for Christmas. We're still on for that, right? Also I still don't trust that Warbler. You should be chaperoned while seeing him. I'm more than happy to volunteer…_

Finn: _Is something up?_

Mike: _Are you okay?_ _Tina's worried. Could you text her back?_

Mercedes: _Please let me know what's up. This isn't like you._

Blaine: _Is everything okay?_

Tina: _Kurt, everyone's really worried about you. Please text back._

Blaine: _Did something happen?_

Artie: _This is Puck. I stole Artie's phone. What happened?_

Mercedes: _You need to talk to someone, Kurt. I could tell you were upset._

Blaine:_ Sorry if I'm annoying you. I'll stop texting every few minutes, but I'm starting to worry._

Rachel: _I'm all filled in. I have ballet, but I can be there in 2 hours for girl talk._

Finally Kurt just turned off his phone. He wanted to tell everyone, _"Turns out Karofsky's gay! That explains a lot, doesn't it?" _But it wasn't as easy as that. He'd been through this himself, and outing Karofsky, even if it seemed to make everything easier, was not the answer. It was hard enough being gay at McKinley high school, or anywhere really, without the added homophobia changing everyone's opinions about you. Outing would never be okay, not in any circumstance. The only person who had the right to tell anyone about it was Dave. But he couldn't have found a better way to tell Kurt? Kurt got up to use mouthwash again.

It was even worse seeing Blaine's name show up on his phone now. They'd barely met over a week ago, and back then Kurt had never been kissed. Blaine was the only person Kurt knew who it would be safe to tell about what happened, because he wouldn't spread it around and he might understand, but he couldn't. Sure, it'd be perfect for them to go talk to Karofsky together and address his identity with him… But Blaine wasn't just Kurt's friend and gay confidant. They were going out. And even if they weren't, Kurt wanted to be. How could he tell this boy that a ferocious bully had taken away his first kiss from him over a sexuality crisis?

Honestly Kurt felt like a slut. He felt raped. He knew that was exaggerating the situation, but that was what it felt like. Why had this even happened to him? Why couldn't he have just sent Sam for the stupid iPod?

It hurt that no one knew. There _was_ someone he could still talk to about it. He could talk to Dave Karofsky one-on-one, but the idea of that made him tremble.

Kurt lay back down on his bed and turned his phone on again. There were around twenty more texts from the various Glee club members expressing different levels of concern. He chose the most recent one from Mercedes and replied, _I'm fine. You were right. Let's not make it a big deal. Just tell everyone I'm fine._

Next he scrolled through the texts from Blaine. _I hope you're okay. Are we still on for Wednesday? _was the last one. It was almost Christmas. Blaine had warned him he'd be out of town for the actual event, so Kurt had wanted to be sure to meet so he could give Blaine his present. He'd been planning something on the romantic side, like a dinner with roses so he could be sure their relationship was going in the direction he was hoping it was, but now he didn't feel like it. All he wanted was to see Blaine, even just from a distance. He didn't feel like putting in any effort right now.

_Yes, I'm fine. See you Wednesday._ Kurt texted back.

On the other end, Blaine stared at the message and then set his phone back down on his desk. It just seemed so tense, it didn't seem like things were okay. He hadn't known Kurt long enough to judge what his next move should be. Maybe Kurt just had bigger things to deal with than a clingy guy who didn't know whether or not he should be taking a hint. Almost immediately, Blaine received a phone call from another number.

The next text Kurt received from Blaine came an hour later and it read, _Can I meet you at McKinley rather than at Lima Bean on Wednesday? In the auditorium? If you're up for it, I need your help with something._

_Sure. See you there. _Kurt texted. He was curious as to what had caused the change of plans, but mostly he was just becoming more and more nervous. Wednesday Finn usually had weightlifting afterschool, which meant Karofsky would also still be on campus. He didn't want Blaine and Karofsky to meet. He didn't want them within a hundred miles of each other. For him, Blaine was a safe zone and he wanted to keep him that way. Why had he said yes? Why couldn't he have held back on pressing 'send' and thought things through?

He scrolled through his playlist on the iPod that had gotten him in all this trouble in the first place. He'd thrown it across the room as soon as he'd gotten back, and luckily that hadn't broken it. He selected Lady Gaga's "Dance in the Dark," set it in the iPod dock for his speakers and pressed play. Then he threw himself on his bed and closed his eyes.

* * *

><p>He woke up the next day feeling miserable and looking like a wreck. His skin was dry and red and his eyes were puffy, though he didn't remember crying. After twenty minutes of staring at everything hanging in his closet, he couldn't make any two pieces of clothing look good together, so defaulted to the easiest possible outfit and pulled on a warm, light colored sweater and dark pants. He stared at himself in the mirror for fifteen minutes before giving up entirely on his hair and puffy eyes. He grabbed a pair of sunglasses. Maybe someone would think he'd been out drinking.<p>

School was miserable. He hadn't studied for the pop quiz and didn't know half the answers. Rachel kept looking at him and elbowing him until the teacher had come to stand in front of them and asked if there was a problem to which he tartly replied in the negative.

The day dragged on with being carted to and from class. At one point before lunch, he and Mike Chang and Artie passed Karofsky in the hallway. After a quick glance, the bully had turned like he hadn't seen them. Kurt felt sick again and stopped responding to anyone. He remained that way for the rest of the day and through Glee club.

"Are you alright, Kurt?" Schuester asked after the meeting was over. That snapped Kurt back to reality. He'd been drifting off through the reminder that they'd all be expected to perform their Christmas numbers before Friday. Even with thirteen hours of sleep to massively throw off his routine, he felt so tired. He nodded and recrossed his legs as a response.

After the club, Mercedes grabbed his hand. "What'd he do?"

"Who?"

"Who else? Dave the-bully Karofsky. What'd he do?"

Kurt looked away from her. "What do you mean? He didn't do anything. He just scared me. I'm fine."

"You're not fine. Those sunglasses clash with your shoes and you wore those pants last week."

Kurt looked down at his shoes, "They look fine."

Mercedes pulled on his arm and swung him around to face her. "That's how I know you're not okay."

"Look, I get to have bad days too, okay? It's no big deal."

"Yeah it is!" she gave his hand a shake, "You're my best friend, Kurt. It matters a lot, especially if this is about something we can prevent. You were so happy last week…"

"Thank you for your concern, Mercedes, but I'll survive one bad day." He turned away from her to walk away. Everyone was eyeing him wearily as they all left Glee club together. Finn and Rachel were waiting to drive home with him. He just wanted to get back to his room and go to sleep again. Maybe he would spend some time planning what to wear so Blaine wouldn't… no. He didn't really care what Blaine thought, or what anyone thought. He just wanted to sleep. That was more important. Everyone could just think what they wanted… Kurt's head started to throb at the temples.

"Kurt!" Mercedes called, and he turned around to face her again, shifting his hips so that all his weight was on one foot. She pursed her lips at him. "Are you still going to meet up with Blaine tomorrow?"

"Yes. He's coming here, if you must know, to meet me in the auditorium."

"Oh! Romantic! Good," she caught up to him. "He seemed worried. He texted me yesterday asking about you. What are you going to wear?"

"I don't know."

"For your date, I mean."

"I don't know, Mercedes."

Rachel chimed in, "What are you guys talking about? Hopefully not doing Christmas duets, because remember, Kurt, we had ours planned since Finn declined the privilege of singing with me."

"I've been busy…" Finn reminded her, but no one was listening to him.

"No," Mercedes rolled her eyes at Rachel, "Kurt doesn't know what he's going to wear tomorrow."

"Wear what you're wearing today, man. You look fine," Finn said, trying to be supportive. Even Kurt couldn't stop himself from giving Finn a very blank Are-You-Kidding-Me? look. He tried to speed up his pace, but the girls caught up to his step and Finn fell behind, confused again. Who cared what he wore tomorrow? Clothes had always been his life and look what good that was doing him now? It was just drawing all sorts of unwanted attention upon unimportant things when the real crisis was…

"You're still meeting up with Blaine-the-Warbler tomorrow?" Rachel asked.

When Kurt didn't respond Mercedes supplied, "Yes, Blaine's meeting him here, but he doesn't know what he's going to wear."

"You're meeting here? So he can snoop out our… No. Wait. This is perfect. We can all band together and find out once and for all what his motives really are—"

"Yeah, whatever," Mercedes cut in as they all blasted through the double doors out to the parking lot. "The real issue is that _Kurt doesn't know what he's going to wear_."

Tina and Mike had been making out just outside, but she turned her head when Mercedes passed, putting her emphasis on the last few words. She pulled away from Mike and fell into step with them, grabbing Kurt's hand. "Wait! Kurt, you don't know what you're going to wear to see Blaine? But we talked about it practically all Saturday night! Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm fine," he replied curtly. "It doesn't matter."

"Wait a second. Are you saying you aren't obsessing about what clothes you're going to wear? Are you still upset? Is this about what happened yesterday?" Rachel asked.

Finn chimed in, "Yeah! What did happen yesterday? I heard—"

"Would you all just leave me alone!" Kurt bellowed, throwing his hands up in the air and storming off toward the car. The rest of the group stopped cold.

"It must have been bad…" Tina said softly. From the car Kurt demanded to know whether or not Finn was coming and slammed the door shut after he'd slid into the passenger's seat. He pressed the back of his hand against his aching forehead. Finn jogged over to the car and got in. Rachel followed not far behind and climbed quietly into the back seat, from which she was unusually quiet.

Kurt's hands were trembling and his gut was wrenching. It seemed like they all knew. They knew, and he wanted to tell them they were right and ask for advice, but they just had no idea how hard it was. He couldn't just say something and ruin someone else's life, not even a bully's.

Across the parking lot, Dave Karofsky was just getting into his car.

* * *

><p><strong>AN**- Kurt's in a bit of a funk. I feel like a sadist for doing this to him. Don't worry. He won't be upset forever. It's almost Christmas, after all!

Question: Do you guys mind that I'm just putting the song titles and artists in the story? Do you want me to supply youtube links to go with it at the beginning of chapters or anything like that, or is it fine how I'm doing it?


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N**- I read the fic "Little Numbers" by iknowitainteasy before writing this chapter and I fell absolutely in love. My jealousy of her (his? Gender neutral?) writing knows no bounds and I'd recommend that fic to anyone, even non-Klaine fans! There may or may not be a tiny tribute to it in this chapter… Also, I know Rachel sang "Total Eclipse of the Heart" in season 1, but it's another song I'd just really love to hear Kurt sing, and I wanted to use it in this chapter.

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><p><strong>Just Like The White Winged Dove<strong>

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><p>Kurt had crawled straight to bed upon getting home. When his father got home from work a few hours later he came in and woke Kurt up to check if he was sick, but he insisted he was just tired.<p>

"Did you eat lunch at school?"

"No. I wasn't hungry."

"Well you weren't hungry this morning either. You wanna tell me what's up?" Burt asked, sitting down at the foot of Kurt's bed.

"Nothing is up, Dad."

"Like hell it's not. That Karofsky comes back from his suspension and the next day you're acting like a manic depressive? That's not nothing. Did he do something to you?"

"I don't want to talk about it. I'm just tired," he rolled to his other side.

"If he did something then I'm going in to see the Principal. You shouldn't have to be being intimidated at your own school."

"It's nothing, Dad, just leave it alone."

"Now, Kurt—"

"I just don't want to talk about it!" Kurt said a lot more loudly than he'd meant to. He squeezed his eyes shut and they felt like they were burning.

Burt nodded and touched his son's leg through the sheets. He hadn't even changed out of his clothes from school. Kurt had always been meticulous, never one to wear anything but silky pajamas to bed, and never to lie down without having undergone proper skin care. It had always seemed silly to Burt, but in its absence it broke his heart to see his son this way. "Alright. We don't have to talk about it right now. Instead, I'm gonna order some take-out, you're going to take a hot shower or something, and you're gonna meet me downstairs in one hour for some dinner. Okay? Then we'll watch that movie you were telling me about. What's it called? The one about the woman and her mom?"

Kurt turned and looked at his father. "Gypsy?"

"Yeah. Gypsy," he patted Kurt's leg. "I'll see you downstairs in an hour and we'll watch that."

Kurt turned away again, "What about Carole and Finn?"

Burt stood up and walked around the side of the bed so he could see Kurt's face. It was mostly buried in the pillow, but his cheeks were redder than usual. "Carole's taking Finn out for some mother-son time. We've got the house to ourselves, so let's make the most of it and watch the goddamn musical. Father-son bonding!" He bent down and kissed Kurt's cheek. "Come on. Get up. I'll order that vegetable-thing-dish you like. One for me too. Gotta watch my heart…"

Kurt waited till Burt was out the door, then he smiled. He was so lucky to have his dad. So, so lucky. He got up, skipped the shower but did the skin care routine he'd missed last night, then went downstairs.

* * *

><p>Wednesday morning he woke up feeling somewhat better. Spending time with his dad had cheered him up, even if <em>Gypsy<em> had turned out to not be at all Burt's thing. Kurt hadn't realized how hungry he'd been until he started eating. Just having food in his system calmed him down considerably. He still didn't feel great, but he went through his normal routines Tuesday night and Wednesday morning, including a decent breakfast and a coordinated outfit that flattered his tastes and his figure without being too flashy or complicated. He felt better, but he still wasn't sure what to do about Blaine.

At school he went out of his way to apologize to all his friends for blowing up at them the day before, catching Tina and Mercedes before classes since they were who he was closest to and they hadn't at all deserve to be yelled at like that. They insisted they understood. Rachel had enough classes with him that he slipped her a note, and Finn he lived with. He'd apologize to Finn later with brownies or something. The rest of the club he gave his apologies to when it came their turn to escort him between classes. Most of them acted the same as the girls, saying they'd understood that he was upset. Santana just told him he should be sorry and dropped it, and Puck gave him an incredibly subtle nudge with his elbow and a half smile. Kurt was grateful he had such good friends to be patient with him and walk him to class. He definitely didn't feel like the service was unnecessary anymore.

Through the day he tried not to be upset and appear worried, although around lunchtime a text came from Blaine that just read, _I can't wait to see you. Be standing on the stage, I'll find my way there._ After that, his heartbeat was considerably quicker and he kept catching himself chewing on the inside of his cheek or biting the edges of his nails raw. They were in desperate need of an emery board by the end of the day.

"So, can I stay after with you? Just to make sure everything goes well?" Rachel asked excitedly after their last class together. Kurt frowned and shook his head.

"I don't need a chaperone for this. Karofsky won't be seen dead on the stage."

Tina caught up to them. "So is Blaine planning something special? Is that why you're meeting here? I mean, it _is_ the last week before Christmas…"

Kurt realized he'd forgotten to bring Blaine's present with him to school. There wasn't really time to run back home. His heart dropped down and bounced on his diaphragm.

"Yes! And everything is still set up from my Christmas song for Finn. It's all snowy and magical. I told them to leave it there so you could have some atmosphere. I call it 'Rachel Berry's Wonderland Spectacular!"

"You look great, Kurt," Tina cut in. "He won't be able to take his eyes off of you! I'm so glad you two are together. Next year we need to start having double dates," she smiled at him.

"I don't even know if we _are_ dating," Kurt said as they rounded a corner together.

"It sounded like it after last week," she tried.

"Yeah, but I don't know anymore," Kurt cut her off, then turned away from both girls and took the hall down to the auditorium. They stopped to watch him go.

"I wish I knew what was wrong," Tina said, frowning at Rachel. "Oh! Hey Mike!" and she was gone.

Rachel, on the other hand, turned on her heel and made straight for the auditorium balcony.

* * *

><p>Kurt stood in the middle of the stage and looked at his phone a few times, mulling over Blaine's last text. <em>"I can't wait to see you…" <em>Would he still want to see him if he knew that Kurt had been violently defiled only two days earlier? He tried to think of how he could break what had happened to Blaine without sounding pathetic or mean or pushing him away. After a few moments of just standing at the front of center stage, he walked over to the piano, sat down, and tested out some chords. Then he settled himself squarely in front of it, concert style. There was a melody he'd been singing in his head all morning that he knew by heart and he fell into it.

"Turn around…" he started, then paused, enjoying the acoustics of the auditorium and how great they made his voice sound. Up above, Rachel was leaning against the balcony ledge in the dark to listen to him. She'd come in very quietly so he wouldn't know she was there. He started the introduction again and then began to sing Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart" to himself, substituting the subsequent "Turn Around" lines with an added duet part on the piano.

Rachel pulled out her camera phone and zoomed in as far as she could on Kurt playing, then hit record. She smiled to herself. This wasn't evil, this was just waiting for Finn to finish weight lifting and helping out her best friend.

Over halfway through the song, the last bridge drowned out the sound of a stage door opening and Blaine slipping in. He took a deep breath and stood calmly at the door, loving the sound of Kurt's voice and enjoying his careful piano playing. There was so much passion behind each word. _"Once upon a time I was falling in love, now I'm only falling apart. Nothing I can do, a total eclipse of the heart..." _He'd clearly just missed a wonderful concert. He stepped forward till he was at the edge of the curtain to listen to the rest. He couldn't quite see more than the top of Kurt's head, and he watched how it bobbed to the rhythm all the way through the final piano chords. The song ended and then there was a terrible note as Kurt face planted the middle range keys. Blaine smiled and stepped forward onto the stage.

"That was beautiful," Blaine said, trying not to sound sarcastic due to the nature of the final note. Rachel's head shot below the edge of the balcony rail to hide. She hit 'save' on her phone. Kurt's head shot up at the same time and he stood quickly, almost knocking over the piano bench.

"Hey!" he said, trying to act nonchalant, steadying the bench and shoving his hands into his pockets.

"Private concert?" Blaine asked. He was holding a cordless boombox in one hand.

"No! No. Just…practicing," Kurt said, turning red. Blaine had gotten there a lot quicker than he'd expected. He hadn't anticipated him coming for at least another ten minutes.

"Well I'm glad you're warmed up. Also the stage looks gorgeous. Is this, ah, winter wonderland for a Christmas concert?"

Kurt frowned and moved as gracefully as possible around the side of the piano so there wouldn't be an obvious barrier between them. Blaine looked as gorgeous as he always did. He was in his Dalton blazer as usual, but this time there was a festive sprig of holly pinned to one lapel. "No, the stage is just… Rachel Berry… Glad I'm warmed up for what?"

Blaine walked over to the piano and set the boombox on top of it. "Well, I thought that if you wouldn't mind, I need you to practice something with me." Kurt's eyebrows shot up. "I got a gig singing 'Baby It's Cold Outside' at the King's Island Christmas Spectacular!" he smiled.

Kurt laughed and then cleared his throat, "Ah! Congratulations! And a personal favorite as well. I suppose you couldn't get any Warblers to sing it with you?"

Blaine cocked his head to the side and sucked in his lips, then said, "Actually, I just wanted to sing it with you…you know? Before I have to go sing it with some girl."

A hot blush spread it's over Kurt's face and through his smile. _"Wanted to sing it with you"_ he'd said. He tried not to sigh happily.

"So? You gonna help me out here?" Blaine asked.

Kurt couldn't make himself remember a reason not to. Blaine's dark hair and dark uniform against the white winterland scene that adorned the stage made him stand out brilliantly. Despite the warm air and the smell of sawdust, the romantic atmosphere made it feel like a scene from a classic Christmas special, like _White Christmas _right at the end. "Sure. Of course!"

Rachel clamored back up to peer over the balcony and set up her phone on the ledge. Kurt Hummel would thank her later. She hit 'record' again.

Blaine very casually reached over and hit 'play' on the boombox without taking his eyes off Kurt, he took a few steps toward center stage and spun to the first few chords. As the verse came in, he held out a hand, offering Kurt the first line.

In the back of his mind Kurt was thinking, _"You don't know what's happened. I don't want to hurt you."_ He looked deep into Blaine's eyes and sang, "I really can't stay…"

From there he let the performance take over. It's easy to be coy and evasive when unsure and afraid is exactly how you're feeling. He led the cat-and-mouse chase around the stage, in and out of Rachel's holiday decorations, around the piano, pulling his hand away from Blaine's after every touch from those warm, strong hands, dancing off just when Blaine got close and he could feel the soft breath against his skin. _"Damn, this would be so romantic,"_ he realized, when for a moment they both sat on the piano bench and their shoulders touched. Blaine played a few notes on the piano keys along to the recorded music and then smiled at Kurt. Every muscle and nerve in Kurt's body was screaming at him to just plant one so hard on Blaine's grinning lips, but he stood and walked around to the other side of the piano to the line, "I've gotta get home…" He was sure Blaine didn't feel the same way, or if he did… he wouldn't. Kurt wanted to keep his emotional distance.

Blaine just kept thinking, _"My god, he's amazing. Is this too much? Would it be inappropriate if I leaned into him? Would it be bad to just kiss him right now?" _He knew it would. Every time he got close Kurt would glance down or away and then turn and dance off around the stage. _"This is not sexual frustration. This is just a song."_ Blaine kept reminding himself, trying to keep his hands to himself, trying not to break eye contact more often than necessary.

The song ended finding them sitting side by side with their legs dangling off the front of the stage. Blaine looked over at Kurt, and Kurt looked back and they both smiled, then looked away.

"I think you sound perfect. You're ready" Kurt said, encouragingly.

Blaine nudged Kurt's shoulder with his own and stared down at his own feet. "I was following your lead." He looked over hopefully, but Kurt had turned to look toward the other side of the stage, away from Blaine. "Sorry. That was forward."

"No, no…" Kurt trailed off absently.

Blaine waited a moment in the silence while Kurt tried to crane his neck so he was facing farther and farther from Blaine, then he asked, "What's wrong?"

Kurt stood up and brushed himself off. "Nothing. You know, at your gig, you're going to be amazing. When is it?" he asked without looking over at all. Up in the balcony, Rachel was still recording.

"It's this weekend, just before I leave." Blaine reached up a hand to get Kurt's attention, hoping to pull Kurt down, but instead Kurt pulled him up. They stood facing each other. Kurt looked beautiful as always, but there was something off in his eyes, like the life was gone. He knew exactly how this would play out in a stage production. He'd reach out and cup Kurt's cheek in his hand, looking deep into his bright eyes. A single tear would fall down Kurt's face as he leaned into the palm. Blaine would speak a few sweet words to him, something ridiculously cheesy like, "_I'm here for you"_ or _"Never fear!" _He'd step right up to Kurt so their bodies were aligned and he'd kiss him softly, lips just brushing and fires igniting in their hearts. Kurt would press in and kiss him back through a sob and then rest his head on Blaine's shoulder. He'd stroke the boy's hair and ask him to tell him what was wrong, and then, after a bit of recap, he'd go an avenge all of Kurt's fears… whatever they were, and assuming they needed avenging. Then they'd meet again in a romantic scene lined with flowers and satin and make sweet passionate love… Instead he was standing there like an idiot. The most he could make his body do was to reach up and gently touch Kurt's elbow. "What's wrong, Kurt?"

Kurt smiled. "Nothing's wrong. I don't know if I'll be able to see you perform, but maybe I'll try to go, you know, to support you…"

Blaine touched his other elbow and Kurt looked up. It sunk in deep that Kurt actually wanted to see Blaine sing. He wanted Kurt to hear him. He wanted to see that gorgeous face in the crowd. More than that, he wanted to be sharing a stage with this boy, singing "Baby it's Cold Outside" they way they'd sung it only moments before with their voices harmonizing perfectly and their eyes meeting with a healthy amount of tension. He wanted people to cheer for them and see Kurt's face light up how it had on the stage at Sectionals. Blaine wanted to share that kind of moment with him. But if Kurt didn't want the same, or if something was bothering him that Blaine couldn't fix… "Kurt… I know we haven't know each other very long, and I may be out of my league…"

"What?" Kurt asked in a gasp. His heart was beating faster. He was the one who felt out of his league. Blaine's face was so close and he smelled amazing, a soft men's cologne smell, maybe from the gel, and also something slightly sweet, maybe a breath mint. It was dizzying. He wished he could bury his nose in Blaine's neck.

Blaine continued, "But if something's wrong, if something happened, you know you can talk about it with me."

Rachel leaned over the balcony. Their voices were lowered so far that even with the perfect acoustics it was hard for her to hear more than a murmur of what they said.

Kurt's eyes went wide. He shook his head and slowly stepped backwards, several steps away. So that was it. One of Kurt's friends had probably gotten to him. Someone must have asked Blaine to spy for them. "No. Nothing's wrong," he said. "I think… I think I just need to go."

Blaine's arms fell to his side and he looked away and sighed. Kurt turned on his heel to leave.

"Could you text it to me then?" Blaine asked loudly. Kurt had reached the edge of the stage, but he stopped and turned around.

"What?"

"You know… so you don't have to say it out loud… whatever it is. Just text it to me."

Kurt couldn't hold back the affectionate smirk. This was something his dad had tried once when he was young to get him to talk about being bullied for the first time. He'd handed him paper and a crayon and told him to draw a picture of it. Somehow it just made it easier when your vocal chords didn't have to work to incriminate you and your fingers could do the dirty job instead. Maybe… just because it was Christmas…

He shrugged and pulled out his phone. Blaine pulled his out at the same time.

_Nothing's wrong. Good luck!_

Blaine frowned at the message he'd received. Kurt turned to go again, so Blaine quickly texted back, _I'm not going to judge you. I'm just worried. Please._

And then, _I wouldn't ever tell anyone._

Kurt stood still with his back to Blaine for several long moments. He wanted him to know. He wanted someone to know, someone who would be safe and wouldn't get Karofsky in trouble or out him or do anything that might hurt either one of them. He wanted to have that much trust in Blaine. Slowly he texted the words, then held them for a long moment, staring at what it said. When he hit send, he turned around to stared at Blaine, waiting for the reaction.

Blaine opened his phone before the jingle could play and read, _The Neanderthal kissed me._

"Kurt…" Blaine said, but Kurt looked away. His cheeks were red and his hand was running across his cheeks just below his eyes. Blaine texted back, _Are you okay?_

Kurt read it, and just shook his head. Of all the things to say! No "_Why?" _no _"How"_ no _"What the fuck?_" just _"Are you okay?" _He wiped his eyes on his sleeve and took a long, heavy breath. Up above, Rachel wished she knew what was going on. Blaine took a step forward, but Kurt held up his phone like a warning and began to text again so he stood still.

_I'm fine. It explains a lot actually. I was being careless. It was just stupid._

Blaine looked to Kurt, frowning. He felt hollow and useless. Kurt was _not_ fine. "It's not stupid," he said, "_You're_ not stupid. Kurt… " Kurt crossed his arms over his chest and turned away, so Blaine texted, _What can I do?_

And then, _Kurt, you aren't fine. I want to help you. Tell me what to do._

He looked at Kurt's back pleadingly as the other boy opened, then stared at his phone, and then looked back over his shoulder. Kurt wanted Blaine to wrap him up in his arms, to tell him it was alright, to kiss away the taste of Karofsky from his lips, to beat the bully up, to avenge him, for christ's sake… They were just staring at each other. _"So much for being cool," _Kurt thought as he wiped another stream of tears from his face. You couldn't ask that of someone you barely knew. You couldn't ask someone to suddenly become your rock.

"Just don't tell anyone," Kurt asked aloud, angry at himself for his voice squeaking.

"Kurt… how can I not—"

Kurt just shook his head. He shook his head and he walked away. Blaine didn't know what to do. Was he supposed to run after him? For how completely crushed he felt, he barely knew Kurt. Very slowly, he sat down on the stage floor among the fake snowflakes. The room felt like it was spinning. He breathed deep and his whole body shook with the effort. So the guy… who'd been bullying Kurt… was gay?

The door that led off the stage closed. A second later Blaine's phone played a digital, piano version of the line, "Just like the white winged dove, sings a song, sounds like she's singin'…" from "Edge of Seventeen." He opened it before it could go any longer and looked at the message.

_Just give me some space for a while._

He dropped his phone to his lap and dug the heel of both hands into his eyes.

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><p><strong>AN**- Christmas has passed, so I won't wish you a Merry Christmas (not after that angst! Goodness!) but don't worry! No one should be sad on Christmas…


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N**- This chapter is for everyone who wants these boys to be happy.

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><p><strong>Just Like the White Winged Dove<strong>

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><p>Blaine took a few deep breaths, stood up, and left a few moments after Kurt, out the same door he'd come in. He was afraid that if he took a different route he would get lost in McKinley high school, so he decided to not take any chances by trying to follow Kurt. In the hall he passed a really tall boy he recognized but couldn't place. He didn't want to stop and explain why he was wandering around McKinley, wearing a Dalton Academy uniform and carrying a boombox, so he just kept going. Besides, the other boy was just then answering his phone.<p>

The whole way home he berated himself. There were so many things he could have done, so many ways he could have handled that situation and he'd blown it. This boy he barely knew, but felt strongly about, had just told him that the bully he'd been saying he was afraid of last week, had kissed him this week. And it clearly couldn't have been a _good_ experience, that was evident from the crying. Gah, seeing that boy cry could break the hardest heart and it tore at Blaine's to think he hadn't been able to do anything for him. If he was the boyfriend then he'd just failed. But really, there was a lot more information Blaine needed. Kurt had been so terse about the subject that Blaine really knew nothing at all about the bully. Why couldn't he have texted _"Tell me everything" _and actually made a difference by giving Kurt someone to vent to? If he'd done that, he would know what was going on, and he would still be there, maybe holding Kurt in his arms, and not driving away feeling miserable. Why had he thought _"Are you okay?"_ was the right thing to ask at all?

At a stoplight, he almost didn't hit the break in time and was hanging into the cross walk. _"Because that was more important to me," _he reminded himself. Because when he read those words off the screen of his phone, he hadn't cared about anything else but whether or not Kurt had been hurt. He knew he wasn't okay emotionally because that was apparent, so he'd defaulted to what he could fix. He'd wanted to know if he could heal an actual wound, anything physical that he could wrap his hands around and comfort because he didn't know what to do to mend the rest. To top it all off, he'd gone and promised not to tell anyone. He was realizing now how stupid that was.

The light turned green and he pressed down on the accelerator.

One week. One week was too short a time to get involved like this. Well, more than a week. They were actually coming up on two weeks now. It wasn't stupid that Kurt's safety was that important to him, was it? They had been dating—at least, Blaine thought so. No matter what they were, it had to be reasonable by this point that he genuinely felt sick to his stomach over seeing Kurt so upset. If only he hadn't promised not to mention it… someone else needed to know; someone who could help. Someone who could make Kurt safe so he could smile again the way he had that first time Blaine saw him.

* * *

><p>At home that night, Blaine found himself with a throbbing headache. He hadn't had any coffee that afternoon, since his meeting with Kurt had gone awry, and he was having serious caffeine withdrawals. He took a couple aspirin rather than giving in to his coffee craving, and considered that his punishment for caffeine addiction. He was heating up leftovers for dinner when a call came on the landline. He rolled his eyes. The only people who call landlines are solicitors or political factions. He set the fork he'd been drumming on his thigh with down on the counter by the stove and answered.<p>

"Hello, Anderson residence. May I ask who's calling?"

A female voice responded, "Hello! Is Blaine there?"

Blaine frowned. Anyone who he knew who would be calling him had his cell phone number. He checked the cell phone, but there were no messages. "He's speaking. Who _is_ this?"

"Blaine?" she sounded excited now, "This is Rachel Berry. Kurt's friend. Best friend. Emotional confidant. I'm the singer in New Directions."

Blaine stood puzzled for a moment and then said, "Hello. … How did you get my number?" _More importantly_, he wondered, _if she was Kurt's friend, why hadn't she called his cell phone number? _Some of Kurt's friends already texted with him regularly; Mercedes, Tina, and Mike Chang.

"That's not important," said Rachel, who had not thought to ask for Blaine's number and had instead called the Dalton Academy office registry, gotten Wes' number under the guise of intending to send her child to Dalton to join the Warblers, then told him she needed Blaine's number. Wes hadn't been keen to give away Blaine's cell number, but he was willing to give up Blaine's last name. From there, Rachel had gone through every Anderson in the district phone book. "What's important is Kurt."

"…Oh." Blaine couldn't think of what else to say. Of course Kurt was important, but he'd said to give him some space. Blaine wasn't sure what else he should do.

"Whatever you do, do not let him go."

"What are you talking about?"

Rachel cleared her throat, "Kurt's been upset the past few days. He's been closed off and won't give any information _why_ to his best friends. And I won't say how, but I happen to know he's confided more in you than in anyone else, right? Well, this is important, Blaine: Don't let him push you away."

"What do you mean?"

She paused for a minute. "I know that, just like every diva, Kurt puts on a front, like… he's better than everyone else or he doesn't need you, but once you get to know him…Kurt's actually really shy. Um…and sometimes he shuts people out rather than dealing with things. Just, promise, if he tries to shut you out, don't let him, okay?"

Blaine sighed and removed his meal from the microwave. "He told me to give him some space."

"Don't give him any space! That's not what he needs right now."

"What should I do?"

"Be his hero! Okay! I have it all planned out!" she squealed and something rustled on her line. Blaine sat down and ate a mouthful of microwaved noodles, rolling the word _"hero"_ over in his head. He'd blown his chance at that already today. "First off, you need to tell me what he said to you."

Blaine smiled. How sneaky. "I can't."

"It's really important that I know..."

"Sorry, Rachel. But, he told me not to, and…I care about Kurt too much to betray his trust."

"Oh come on! He won't mind if his boyfriend tells _me_," she said, matter-of-factly.

Blaine's heart started beating fast. "Boyfriend?" he asked and listened to the silence from the other line. That word… they'd never said it to each other, but hearing it now…

"…Oh. Aren't you…? I mean…"

"Did he say that?"

"Oh no! No no no no! He didn't say anything like that!"

"Oh." Blaine set his fork down again and took a deep breath. For a half second there he might have been dreaming.

"But he's hardly said three things to me all week—"

"So neither of us really knows then, huh?" The question hung in the air between them for several long minutes. Rachel was staring at her own face in the mirror, trying to mentally coach herself to stop saying things that could possibly break up her only contact to their rivals, and to ruin this relationship for Kurt. New Directions would need Kurt to win at Regionals, she had to sort him out because losing him was not an option. Blaine was trying to remind himself that it had only been two weeks, they weren't even official, as he'd just been reminded. He decided he really wasn't hungry anymore.

"Do you love him?" Rachel asked slowly after the incredibly long pause. She immediately gave herself a horrified look in the mirror. That wasn't what she'd meant, at least, not how it came out…If that didn't ruin everything, it would be a miracle.

Blaine shoved the plate away and rested his forehead against the cold, granite countertop. He was sixteen, how was he supposed to know the answer to that? The answer was probably "_No._" the answer was _"Probably not."_ but he didn't know. He'd hardly even gone out with anyone other than Kurt. Instead he defaulted to, "I've gotta go."

"Please don't leave him alone, Blaine!" she rushed in as quickly as she could say it and kicked herself for ruining the conversation and her chances at helping Kurt.

"I'll talk to you later."

He hung up and left his head where it lay against the counter until his nose started to feel squished, then he rolled his head to the side and looked at his cell phone. Maybe not 'love' but… maybe. Maybe that _was_ how he felt about Kurt. There was no way to know one way or the other. He was in high school; he'd never experienced it, but for all he knew what he was feeling now could be it. He sat up, grabbed the phone and took it upstairs with him, and sat down on his computer chair.

* * *

><p>Kurt was helping Finn with the clean up after dinner, trying to avoid all attempts at conversation, having forgotten the apology brownies as soon as Finn mentioned having seen Blaine at school that afternoon, when his pocket vibrated. He wiped his hands on a dish towel and checked the message. The screen read <em>Blaine Warbler<em>. With a glance at Finn, he walked out of the kitchen and up the stairs toward his room.

_The show is this Saturday. I perform at 4:45. I have two free tickets. Take anyone. What's your locker number and combination?_

Kurt frowned at the text and immediately texted back, _Why?_ So much for putting some distance between them.

_So they can be waiting for you there in the morning._

* * *

><p>That Saturday afternoon, Blaine was dressed up in an all white suit, which he didn't particularly mind, going over the duet with a girl he <em>did<em> mind, because she was breathy and dressed up like a Santa stripper, pulling her already tiny dress down further and further in the front and heaving her chest at him in hopes he'd notice and… what? Grope her? The manager of the park had stopped in to see if they were ready, and it seemed to Blaine it would be rude to warn the girl he played for the other team in front of someone else. Besides, the manager certainly did play for her team and Blaine didn't wish anyone as obviously creepy on the girl, skankily dressed or not. The manager was not only fat and bald, but sweating through the armpits of his shirt and constantly licking his lips. Blaine was creeped out enough, and it wasn't even directed at him.

When they'd gone over the song three times with no improvement but considerably more chest, the only thing keeping him from running away was the chivalrous notion that at least he was preventing those grubby hands from wandering inappropriately onto that poor, unfortunately dressed girl.

When the manager finally left, four more failed run-throughs later, the girl tossed her brunette curls over her shoulder and leaned in close to him. "We've got an hour before the show, cutie."

Blaine crinkled up his nose, smiled, and finally escaped the practice room to get stage make-up put on.

It didn't get better when they were on stage. He knew how to play a male lead, but she kept puckering her lips and leaning into him, so finally it felt like he was playing the teaser rather than the teased. Reversed roles, with him singing the lines that were supposed to seduce, _"Gosh, your lips look delicious,"_ but trying not to cringe at the same time while leaning away from oncoming lips. The whole set up seemed to be a farce of itself. This would not be his crowning performance. Who let her dress that way in front of children? Why wouldn't she play the part the way they'd practiced?

The redeeming thing was, _all_ the Warblers had shown up, even the ones who had told him they definitely wouldn't be able to make it. They were taking up the whole front row, grinning and giving him thumbs ups, a few of them occasionally tilting their heads to see beneath the Santa stripper's tiny skirt. When the song finally ended, and he stood up quickly from the stage couch to get her hands out of his lap, he bowed and winked at his fellow Warblers.

As he stood up from the bow, the girl forced herself into a dip in his arms. He barely caught her in time, but tried to smile it off like it was all part of the show. That was when he noticed Kurt. He was sitting two rows up from the back of the sparsely occupied amphitheater with the brunette girl, who he remembered was Rachel Berry. She was wearing a red poncho that matched her lipstick, and he… Kurt, was in a black turtleneck, a beautiful fitted jacket that looked sort of blue from the stage, and…he was there. He was on his feet clapping.

Blaine didn't want to take his eyes off him. When the applause died down enough to warrant their dramatic exit off the stage, he ducked away from his singing partner, who was slipping him her number, and rushed past the crew, skipping the dressing room and making his way around to the back of the audience. He ran fast, apologizing as he pushed past people and ignored compliments. When he got there, Kurt and Rachel were gathering their things up to go.

The Warblers were also making their exit, and they spotted him, but stood clustered together at the back of the seating area while he rushed over to stop the exiting couple.

"Kurt!" he exclaimed, stopping right in front of the subject and then also acknowledging Rachel. "You came!"

"I wouldn't have missed it," Kurt smiled. The smile! Maybe it was the promise of a break from school, but all traces of those teary eyes were eliminated. Rachel cleared her throat, so Kurt added, "Rachel volunteered herself as my plus one before I could ask anyone else."

Blaine smiled at Rachel. She was definitely spirited, although he was the one trying not to bounce on his heels. He wanted to throw his arms around Kurt. He'd come to see him sing!

After a pause Kurt remembered his manners, "Oh! Thank you for the tickets! And the map. It was very helpful." His hands were behind his back.

"I wanted to make sure you came," Blaine admitted.

"And the coffee," Kurt said, then he blushed deeply and pursed his lips to the side, trying to hold in a smile. Waiting in his locker on Thursday morning, just like Blaine had said they would be, were two tickets to Kings Island, a map of the park with the location of the performance circled in red, and weighing them both down was a paper Lima Bean cup with Kurt's coffee order and a scrawled out "_Please?"_ drawn on the blank side of the cup beneath a smiley face. Until he'd opened his locker that morning, Kurt had been planning not to go, but knowing Blaine woke up early enough to make it to Lima Bean, then to McKinley, break into Kurt's locker, and still make it on time to Dalton? That made Kurt's day. The little pleading _"Please?"_ in Blaine's (he assumed it was Blaine's) handwriting was too adorable and sent the blood rushing to his cheeks every time he saw it. It might have been the caffeine, but he'd found himself just smiling and giggling in class. The threat of Karofsky never once crossed his mind the entire first half of the day. After a morning like that, Kurt would have walked a thousand miles and stood in the sweltering heat, sweating through his best clothes just to see Blaine. Lucky the weather was cool and it was a lot less drastic than that.

Blaine blushed also and smiled, looking to the side to keep his mind focused and stop himself from giggling happily. "Glad you liked it." For the past two days he hadn't known whether or not Kurt had been coming—he hadn't received a single text from Kurt—but it had been worth it to be surprised like this, with no expectations and everything to gain from the experience of getting to see him again. All that worry had been sand-blasted away with that first glimpse. He really was bouncing now.

Kurt gasped and then pulled what he'd been hiding behind his back around to hold out to Blaine. "Also, Merry Christmas!"

In his hand was a small square package, about four-by-four, wrapped in shimmering dark blue with a neat red bow with gold trim tied around it. The tag was a little yellow bird that had _"Blaine"_ written across its wing.

"It's a Warbler box!" Blaine gasped, too surprised to even take it until Kurt stretched out his arm further and pushed it toward him. "Kurt! You didn't have to… Thank you. Thank you so much."

Kurt grinned and then whispered, "Don't open it till Christmas."

Blaine pressed it to his chest and hugged it. Then Kurt pulled his other hand from behind his back. In this one was a bouquet of white roses.

"And these… are to congratulation you on your performance. If I'd known you'd be wearing white I'd have brought red roses for contrast, but I thought, with the Christmas theme…" he trailed off nervously as Blaine's fingers touched his while he accepted the roses.

"Oh, Kurt… they're beautiful." He brought them to his nose, smiling. His eyes were so big and round with excitement, Kurt felt swallowed up in them. If he could promise himself he'd see Blaine's eyes that big and beautiful each time, he would buy him a gift every day for the rest of his life.

Rachel had a look scrunched on her face that most clearly said, "_Oh, you two!"_ and finally she just burst out, "Oh! Go on then!" and stepped to the side, indicating for them to hug.

Taken aback, Kurt just blushed more furiously, but Blaine took the hint and initiated the hug. He steadied himself and tried to remind his body what hugging was like. It started off incredible awkward. They sort of robotically gestured to one another for a moment, the way you do when you try to move out of someone's way and they move the same way and you're stuck at an impasse before one of you just waits for the other to fix things. Blaine finally got the box in one hand and the roses in the other so they were no longer between them, preventing a proper hug, maneuvered them so they wouldn't poke into Kurt, and leaned in.

Once they were in each other's arms it was better. No, it was perfect. Kurt's eyes rolled closed. Blaine's shoulders felt broader than they looked, the white suit was a coarse material but unmistakably soft under his chin, and the smell was incredible. It was different from before, the sweetness Kurt couldn't place was still there along with the gel cologne, but there was something else as well, something that must just be Blaine. It was deep and rich and manly. How long was too long to hold on? He could have died then, with those arms squeezing him. That would have been a perfect way to go.

Blaine had the advantage of being shorter, so he could press his nose against Kurt's shoulder even more easily. He pushed his cheek against Kurt's neck and tried to just breathe, and not to sniff. Kurt used an expensive body wash that smelled something like orchid and spices—something Blaine couldn't place. It was a soft scent, like a flutter above Kurt's incredibly soft skin, but it was nearly intoxicating. He squeezed tighter, making sure not to let the presents fall from his grip. "Thank you," he whispered.

They held each other long enough that Rachel had time to take a third-wheel glance around and notice the gaggle of Warblers waiting patiently to ambush Blaine. They were all grinning and waved back when she gave an excited little wave and thrust a thumb in the boy's direction with a grin. A few of them mocked silent cheering and she held back a giggle. Finally Kurt realized it had been too long and began the process of pulling away from each other. They caught a shared glance before stepping several feet apart, apologetically blushing.

"So, um, I'll see you in the New Year, right?" Kurt asked, taking Rachel's arm as though that announced his intention to leave.

Blaine breathed deep and nodded, "Yeah… yes! I'll be back on the third."

Kurt nodded also. Rachel was squeezing his arm and grinning so broadly. He hated how obvious she was sometimes, but it also made him happy that she was so excited for him. "Have fun on your vacation."

"I'll try. I'll… keep in touch," Blaine said. Kurt agreed and said goodbye, then walked away with Rachel, throwing a glance back and an adorable smile. Blaine felt like he was melting and at the same time wondered why he hadn't promised more than to stay in touch over the break. He could have set up a date to meet up again rather than just a vague promise. That would have seemed more reasonable. What if he really didn't hear from Kurt until the New Year?

Just then, a perfectly tuned acappella chord broke out behind him. He grinned and turned to be greeted by open arms of his best friends.

* * *

><p>On December the twenty fifth, Kurt received a text: <em>I love the bowties. 3<em>

* * *

><p><strong>AN**- Merry very late Christmas! I'm going to skip on to January after this so maybe we can line up with Valentine's Day! Also, I think updating every Monday and Thursday is really working for me. I'm going to try to keep up with that, but no promises!


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N**- Watch me make Schuester the coolest teacher ever. Also… About that duet… It's not that I forgot (Rachel certainly didn't forget), it's just that I never fit it in… until now.

* * *

><p><strong>Just Like The White Winged Dove<strong>

* * *

><p>The first day back at school, and Kurt found himself seated in Mr. Schuester's office, waiting while Schuester shut the door and took a seat on the corner of the desk, looking fatherly. Kurt chewed on the inside of his cheek.<p>

The break had been spectacular. Seeing Blaine perform, _hugging_ him… it had been the perfect way to start off his Christmas vacation, not to mention making the most out of the free tickets by riding everything he and Rachel had time for both before and after the performance. He and Rachel had never really been all that close, but they had a lot of fun together. He was glad that whatever event had brought about their friendship had happened. They had a lot more in common than he'd ever care to admit.

The holiday itself had been busy, since it was the first year with Carole and Finn in the mix, shopping had been twice as lengthy an operation, traditions had to be mashed together, and the baking never stopped. Kurt had been responsible for all the baking and most of the meals, partly because Carole was busy and didn't enjoy cooking or rolling dough, and partly because as nice as the suggestion that he teach Finn how to cook was, doing more than handing the boy a wooden spoon and assuring him that if he stood to the side he was helping, was more trouble than it was worth. Other than the mall, a few visits with Mercedes, and one slumber party with Rachel, Kurt mostly kept to himself and at home.

New Year's Eve had been a quiet event, partly because of Burt's heart. They stayed in and spent the evening how they'd always spent it, with Burt watching television and Kurt getting some sewing done on a few new outfits. Only this year, Kurt was sewing a party dress for Carole, and Finn was there to talk with Burt about how one football team was better or worse than another for whatever reasons. Finn had been talked down from trying to have New Years with Rachel in favor of family time more easily than expected. When midnight came, they had their countdown and shared hugs and sparkling cider, then turned in to their respective rooms.

About a half hour after midnight, while he was still lying awake, Kurt received the first text he'd received from Blaine since Christmas.

_Happy New Year, Kurt!_

To which he replied, _Happy New Year, Blaine. Any resolutions?_

And a minute later the answer was, _To send all my good wishes to you._

Kurt couldn't think of anything to say after that. It was silly and cute and _so_ romantic. Every time he read it he could feel the same flutter-pause in his heartbeat. Nothing he could send back could possibly mean as much, no clever retort, no romantic reply, nothing. He wrote back with a simple smiley face, which was returned, and he went to sleep with his phone against his cheek. He paid for that by spending his first hour awake on New Year's Day morning searching around his bed for where said phone had snuck off to while he slept.

In the week before classes started up again, he'd done his homework, caught up with all the predictions for this year's fashion, and worried. The third of January came and passed and screen on his phone never lit up again with _Blaine Warbler._ He occasionally looked back over the picture of Blaine with the bowties from their first shopping trip—he'd gone back to the same store to buy Blaine's present—or reread earlier text messages, but he never knew what to say to start communications again. He kept hoping Blaine would text him first.

On the plus side, he and Finn were closer than ever. Other than the baking, which had ended up being a good opportunity to just talk with one another, they actually hung out some. Finn let Kurt drag him to the mall twice, the second time only because Rachel was also going. On a few occasions Puck had come over, and Kurt had sat with both of them while they played violent video games and cursed loudly. Puck was especially friendly, for Puck, and would punch him in the knee or the arm occasionally when his virtual character beat or shot the shit out of Finn's virtual character. He brought up Blaine, asking, "Don't you have a boyfriend you should be spending vacation with?" but didn't press the matter when Kurt decided to simply not answer.

It was nice to be around boys sometimes. With all their intolerable qualities like poor hygiene and violent tendencies, it was always remarkable how quickly boys got over things, and sometimes that was refreshing. Even though Kurt spent the time reading stacks of fashion magazines, only looking up when he found himself being lightly punched, it was more male bonding than Kurt had ever endured in his life, which made Burt happy. So much so that he didn't persist in asking Kurt about what had happened during the time before the break. Nor did he ask more than twice about Blaine. Overall, people were delicate and left Kurt to ignore things as he liked over the holidays, and he let himself forget about Karofsky. The moment of peace again was almost as nice as the time during the bully's suspension, except that knowing the reason for the abuse still didn't seem make it easier to deal with.

Once classes started up, Kurt couldn't even get to first period, escorting Mercedes on his arm and discussing new clothing items with her, before Schuester had asked him to come to his office. With the door shut and just the two of them alone inside, Kurt began to remember why school hadn't been so great before vacation.

"How was winter break?"

"Fine. Uneventful. How was yours?" Kurt replied, tense but trying to be polite. Schuester really was his favorite teacher; he wanted to be tolerable.

"Fine. Thank you! Now… I brought you in here today…" Kurt bit his lip and started picking at his finger nails. He could guess. "… to talk about Dave Karofsky."

"Why?" Kurt said, his heart twisting painfully.

Schuester offered him some leftover peppermint candy, which he declined. "Well, because, I don't know all what happened before the break, but I do know that you're intimidated by him, and now that he's back I, _we_—your dad and I—just want you to feel safe here, Kurt."

Now it came down to it. Burt mentioned it to Kurt again a few days previous, just to see if he could get out what had been wrong. Kurt thought he had reassured his dad, but he could see he was wrong.

"Your dad suggested Karofsky have mandatory counseling with Miss Pillsbury twice a week, and I think that's a good idea. We've talked to his father as well and he'll be starting tomorrow."

"Good," Kurt said. It was good. It was a fabulous idea. Maybe now Dave could get the help he needed without taking his frustrations out—

"But there is a catch. Something I'd like to add in. Something your dad agrees with me on."

Kurt hesitated, "What's that?"

Schuester leaned forward, "I think you need to see Miss Pillsbury also."

"What?"

"You're to meet with her twice a week too."

Kurt stood up, a rush of those moments in the locker room flooded back. "How does that make any sense? I don't want to have to be in the same room with _him_! It's not my fault he's a violent, frightening…" Kurt's face was red and his heart was pounding as he searched his brain for nouns that could describe the bully. Schuester grabbed his arm and gently guided him back into the chair.

"It wouldn't be at the same time."

Kurt breathed a huge sigh of relief and briefly covered his face with his hands.

"But it could eventually escalate to that."

His hands were shaking. "What do you mean?" he asked. He didn't need to be counseled. He knew what was wrong, he didn't need anyone to explain it to him. He was terrified because he didn't know what would happen. This violent bully had pushed him, intimidated him, finally kissed him, and then threatened to kill him if he told anyone. It was pretty simple to understand. Dave was the one who needed counseling, not him. He didn't want to see Dave Karofsky ever again.

"We want to try two weeks, just talking to you separately, see if we can come to some sort of understanding as to why Dave feels the need to pick on you. However, after that time, we may want to switch it so that once a week you two will be seeing Miss Pillsbury together."

"We do _not_ need couples counseling, Mr. Schue," Kurt hissed.

Schuester put a hand on Kurt's shoulder. "I know, Kurt. I know this seems like a lot, but… it's for your safety. You shouldn't have to be afraid of anyone while you're here. We can work this out."

Kurt shrugged the hand off his shoulder and took a breath. He was better than this, he could remain calm. "I appreciate what you're trying to do, Mr. Schue, but it just seems pointless."

"I know, Kurt, but I think it'll help you…"

"No, I mean, why go through all this? Karofsky's just a bully. Sure I've gotten shoved into lockers and called names and…" he paused a little bit longer, faltering for a word, "…And everything, but isn't that normal? This is high school. Everyone gets bullied. I can deal with it." His pocket vibrated. He imagined an all caps _COURAGE_ on the screen and blinked to keep his eyes dry.

Schuester frowned and looked down at his own hands, then he stood, walked around a bit, then pulled the second chair over so he was right next to Kurt, facing him. "Kurt, listen to me. I know you kids have had a really hard time, especially because of the Glee club. Getting made fun of and bullied is just a part of your everyday lives and you've bonded over it, and that's special, but… it isn't okay."

Kurt stayed silent, so Schuester carried on.

"You kids are picked on because… you stand out. You fall outside the norm and, I don't want to say you 'flaunt it,' but you're proud, and you're talented. Especially you, Kurt: you're special. It's great! It's important to own who you are, but it makes you a target. It makes all of you targets, but I'm sure you've noticed that it's you more than anyone else." Kurt looked over his shoulder toward the door. "Bullies, like Dave Karofsky, see how special you are as an excuse to take personal insecurities out on you. But that doesn't make it okay, and that doesn't make it normal.

"Did you know, most kids don't get bullied? Sure, there'll be a few rude words or the occasional put-down, but for the most part, high school's a fairly safe place for teenagers. Getting a slushie thrown in your face every week, or every day, getting tossed in the dumpster or pushed into lockers, getting harassed, or getting beat up? Those aren't actually normal parts of high school, Kurt. They're just something that you've been putting up with, and something the school board has been expecting you to put up with… and it has to stop."

Kurt started to take a breath, but his nose was stuffed up, so he sniffed, and then accepted the tissue he was handed to wipe his face with and blow his nose into. Why had that never occurred to him? No one had ever mentioned it, but it was true. How many kids went to McKinley and how many of the rest of them got pushed into lockers? Kurt had always been the shovee, he'd never seen another person get shoved. "So it's that something's wrong with me?" he asked pointedly.

"No, Kurt, no. What I'm trying to say is that it's _not_ that something's wrong with you, not at all. The problem is other students, and ignorance. We're going to fix what's wrong with _them_, so you can be yourself."

Kurt just nodded. He could feel his phone vibrate again. He'd be going to class with puffy eyes if he didn't take control of himself quickly.

"This year, I'm really going to try be there for you, Kurt. I think this counseling is really going to help, it'll be our first step. There will be someone for you to talk to, completely confidentially, when you feel like you can't talk to me, or to your dad, or your friends, and we'll work to reeducate Dave Karofsky, as well as talk to the rest of the football team, because I know they're the top offenders. Okay? We're going to change things around here, Kurt. You and me. Next week Principal Figgins will be holding an assembly to address bullying. I'm not asking you to speak at it, but I'd like you to give me some input, things you'd like him to go over, anything like that, just let me know, okay? Next year's your senior year. You shouldn't have to spend it feeling like you aren't safe here, so we are going to make it safe. For you, and for everyone. Alright? …Do you want a minute?"

Kurt shook his head and smiled, wiping his eyes on yet another tissue, careful to rub gently around his eyeline to reduce redness. "No, I should get to class," he said, standing up and picking up his bag.

"You know I'm here for you, Kurt, no matter what," Schuester reminded him, standing also.

Kurt smiled, "Thank you, Mr. Schue," he said, hugging his favorite teacher, partly because he was grateful, and partly to put on the appearance of gratitude in the place of nervousness. "I appreciate it."

Schuester just smiled, watched him leave, then took a deep breath.

* * *

><p>As soon as he slid into his seat next to Rachel in his first class, just before the bell, she handed him a jewel case with a DVD-R in it. He turned it over in his hands. It was unmarked, other than being blindingly pink.<p>

"What's this?" he asked.

"A late Christmas gift. I finally burned you a copy of our Christmas duet from the Friday before break."

He smiled. He'd forgotten all about that. She'd set up three cameras to record them and messed with sound equipment for much longer than reasonable. It had been annoying on the day of the performance, but now he was grateful he was finally getting to see it. "Thank you, Rachel."

She tapped the case with one finger, "Better than that, there's a special gift at the end."

"What is it?"

"You'll see. All I'm gonna say is, I sent the same gift to Mr. Blaine Warbler Anderson this morning."

"You WHAT?" Kurt dropped the DVD and had to retrieve it from the floor. "What _is_ it?"

She didn't acknowledge his question, "Also I have a copy for Finn of my Christmas song present to him. So that he can remember. Make sure I get it to him by the end of the day, okay?"

The teacher had begun calling role, so Kurt dropped his voice to a hiss. "What is on this disk?"

"A present. No more information."

Kurt spent the rest of the day dreading every potential that could be lurking within the so-called "present."

* * *

><p>That afternoon, he slid the disk into his computer tray, making a mental promise with himself to watch through the entire duet performance rather than skipping ahead to see what the thing at the end could be. He and Rachel had done a beautiful call-and-response version of "Silver Bells" for the Glee club. He watched through, enjoying how well she'd chosen all the best angles, even though they were primarily of herself, and wondering where she ever found the time to learn, let alone do, such careful video editing. Rachel was a special kind of enigma, but their voices sounded fantastic together. Why hadn't they done more duets in the past?<p>

When "Silver Bells" ended with considerably more applause than the number of hands that had been present in the room could have supplied, the screen went black, then read "Merry Christmas!" in red and silver, and immediately after, a much lower quality video started playing.

It was slightly dark and far away, but he could make out after a second that the thing covered in white was a stage. The sound quality went from tinny to just moderately poor and he could hear the piano playing. It occurred to him that was the McKinley high school auditorium he was looking at, and then he heard his voice.

He paused the video and just stared. You couldn't visually tell it was him, he was so pixilated, but at the piano that the camera was trying to focus on, that was _him. _He even remembered that day, because he remembered playing that song. He picked up his phone.

_You STALKED me?_

Rachel must have been waiting for him to text because there was hardly a pause before she replied, _Don't be mad! Keep watching!_

_ You sent this to BLAINE?_ Kurt didn't feel bad about the extra punctuation. He couldn't emphasize how much this was making his palms sweat. Even if the visual and audio quality hadn't been so crappy, he didn't want Blaine to see him singing this song! He'd been embarrassed enough about Blaine coming in on the end of it!

_Keep watching!_ She replied again.

_I haven't even heard from him since New Year's! What are you doing?_

This time there was a long pause, and then, _Better contact him then, because I put your name under "from" on the package. Keep watching._

He gawked at the phone, then he turned the stalker video back on. His voice rang out of his speakers again. He sounded good if you could get past the quality of the audio, he was proud of that, but he sounded sad. He had been sad. He didn't want Blaine to hear that. He had just been venting. It had been a personal thing. _"And I need you more tonight, and I need you more than ever…"_ rang out and it was heart wrenching just to hear himself sing it. He had been thinking about Blaine when he sang those words, that song, but that didn't mean he wanted Blaine to hear it.

He picked up his phone and texted, _Blaine, if you got a package, it was from Rachel. Just toss it._ But he didn't send it. He couldn't just start off with that after all that silence between them. He deleted it and tried again, _Hi, Blaine!_ _How was your vacation? If you got a disk that said it's from me, it was from Rachel. Please just toss it._

There was a horrible note at the end of the song and Kurt closed, and then rolled his eyes. Why would she keep that in? Hearing the song was bad enough, but the pity party at the end where he'd slammed his head onto the keys? That really couldn't be taken out? This wasn't a treat. He opened up his phone to text her again, but then he heard the voice. Thank the acoustics in the auditorium that you could clearly hear the words, "_That was beautiful!" _in Blaine's sultry, deep voice. The video cut out after that. Kurt's phone buzzed and he picked it up.

_Haha! Okay, are you sure? Vacation was tiring. How've you been?_

Kurt swallowed and tried to come up with a response that wouldn't sound panicked and fixated on the disk. He wasn't paying attention to the computer screen until the first few notes from "Baby it's Cold Outside" screeched through. It made his heart stop. Why had Rachel even _been _there for the whole thing? Where was she hiding and did she know what personal space was? He set his phone down without answering.

It was their performance. He was getting to see his duet with Blaine! Despite how violated it felt to have been taped during what had been a particularly intimate, and supposedly private, moment, he was glad he got to relive it. The footage was blurry, but it wasn't easy to mistake the dark blurs weaving in and out of the white blurs that were Rachel Berry's "Christmas Spectacular" set. He touched the edge of his screen. Poor sound quality or not, they sounded perfect together. Really perfect. He could almost feel Blaine's touch on his arm again from where they'd hugged only a few days after this, and he could still taste the smell of him... Now, here was the video proof that they'd sung together, and that their voices were practically _made_ for singing together. He felt light headed and paused the video again.

He picked up his phone and texted Blaine, _Fantastic!_ But abstained from adding an _"I missed you."_

He pressed 'play' to hear the end of the song, then picked up his phone to text Rachel, _Thank you._

She replied with, _Any time._

When the song ended, and he looked up to see that the video was still rolling. He and Blaine were perched on the edge of the stage, side by side. You couldn't hear anymore, but he remembered it. Why did she record this? Why wouldn't she have cut it? Seriously, what happened to being a video editing virtuoso? He stared at the screen. Suddenly he was not so fantastic. Tiny, blurry him got up, eventually helping tiny, blurry Blaine to his feet. They stood close, they separated… and the texting… you could tell.

_Good to hear! … So what's on the disk?_ Blaine texted, the sudden vibration against the desk making Kurt jump in his seat.

He looked it over, then closed his phone and set it on the desk. Even the words that had been spoken aloud didn't come across with the bad sound quality, but you didn't need quality to tell that things weren't okay. Besides, he knew what had gone down. He'd lived it. Blaine had a copy of _that._ He didn't want him to see it. He didn't want to remind Blaine of that time he'd been a brat and stormed out on him. What he wanted was for Blaine to throw away the disk, never see the evidence of the train wreck that was Kurt that week before break. What he wanted was to forget it too and to ask Blaine out for coffee again. But what was he supposed to say?

_"Oh, hey Blaine! Remember that time I was a big baby and was super rude to you because I couldn't handle that I got trapped and kissed by a bully? Well don't worry! I'm in mandatory counseling for it now. Do you want to date me?"_ He lay his head down on the desk. He looked up in time to see his tiny blurry figure leave the stage completely and Blaine… Blaine sunk down onto the floor. You could barely see what he was doing, but he clearly sat down, and then he moved slightly. _"Oh please don't let him be crying,"_ Kurt practically prayed at the screen. The camera stayed on blurry Blaine until he seemed to look around, stood, and exited from the opposite side of the stage that Kurt had stormed out from.

Kurt drew in an unsteady breath. Had he made Blaine miserable? He hadn't meant to. He thought back to the coffee in his locker he received the day after this was filmed. It he hadn't been so stupid and sensitive, they could have gone for coffee that same day. Blaine shouldn't have had to put up with him.

He looked back at Blaine's last text and responded, _Nothing. Please don't watch it._

_Sounds serious. Are you sure?_ was the response. Teasing. Very cute.

Kurt sighed at it. He probably wasn't. He had to remember the hug. The hug had come after the storm-out, and the way Blaine's eyes had looked when he stopped them from leaving after his number; he hadn't been miserable then. If he just didn't look at the disk, maybe it wouldn't ruin everything. Maybe Kurt could get what he wanted anyway and forget everything else. He texted nothing for a while and then finally sent, _Would you still like to go for coffee with me next week?_

He braced for a response, but when it came it was, _I thought you'd never ask. Are Wednesdays still okay?_

_Yes. See you then!_ Kurt responded, smiling through the uplifting feeling that swept over him. He'd erased _"Of course!"_ from the text after typing it in initially after "_Yes"_ because he didn't want to seem desperate. He didn't want to be some creep tying Blaine down to a dumb obligation or anything. _"He thought I'd never ask? Could he be more charming?"_ Kurt wondered. Still, there was the disk to worry about.

Before Blaine could respond he resolved and added a second text, _The thing you got from Rachel, just promise you won't watch it, okay?_

_Should I be afraid?_

_Just, please don't._

Blaine raised his eyebrows at the last text. It sounded serious. How embarrassing could it possibly be? He turned over the blue jewel case in his hand. Inside was a pink DVD-R that had been left at Dalton for him inside an envelope marked "_To Blaine Anderson, From Kurt. Please watch!"_

_ If I watch it, will I lose the honor of your company at Lima Bean?_

Kurt actually laughed at the response. How delightfully old fashioned "_the honor of your company"_ sounded! The thought that it might be that important to Blaine to see him made him smile. He wasn't going to lie and pretend there was any chance he might not show up. He wanted to see the boy just as badly. He thought about it, staring at the now blank computer screen, then texted back, _No. Just the dignity of it._

Now the curiosity was too great. Rachel was too clever a stalker to make Kurt's warning irrelevant, but he just wanted to know what she'd have sent him. Honestly, he just hoped Kurt's face would be on it somewhere. With a mental apology to the boy in question, he popped it in his computer and listened to it whir as it started up.

_No promises for your dignity then. See you Wednesday!_

Kurt cursed under his breath, and started replaying the disk.

* * *

><p><strong>AN**- I've run myself into a pickle. This ending, to me, is awesome, but it doesn't go quite where I wanted it to… … … I'll work it out in the next chapter. Also I hope you paid attention to Mr. Schuester. Bullying isn't okay, and I don't want to seem like I'm going on a rampage, but this turned out to be the perfect chapter to bring it up. There is help out there. Some people don't know that, but there is.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N-** Some of you expressed concern over the disk. You made my day! But don't worry too much. Part of what happens in this chapter, it was very important for me to post on February 2nd for personal reasons. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

><p><strong>Just Like the White Winged Dove<strong>

* * *

><p>Kurt's Wednesday the following week began with a visit to Miss Pillsbury. He'd opted to get to school early and meet with her in the mornings because that promised a finite amount of time spent in her office and it kept counseling from cutting into his social life. She'd asked him how his week was going, and then he'd been able to launch the session off into a discussion of her color palate, which she wore well, but which he thought she could easily expand. They talked colors, clothes, and style for the entire 45 minutes before the session was up and never once brought up Karofsky or bullying. Kurt knew he wasn't being productive, dancing around the subject for three whole sessions now, but he felt very smug about himself for it, and went back to anticipating his date that afternoon with Blaine.<p>

He stayed behind after school a few extra minutes, hanging out in the parking lot with Mercedes, carefully watching the doors in case Karofsky reared his ugly head, and made it to Lima Bean only a few moments before Blaine, stepping out of his car as Blaine pulled up.

Because they'd hugged previously, Blaine felt confident enough to go ahead and wrap his arms around Kurt's shoulders as a greeting after catching up to Kurt in the parking lot. Kurt hugged back, still nervous about the DVD situation, but overjoyed about the touch. As they slowly pulled away from each other, Blaine watched Kurt's slightly parted lips and wondered how far across the line it would be to just move into those lips, just to taste them. Instead they walked to the door side by side. Blaine held it open for Kurt, acting the part of the proper gentleman.

At the front of the line Blaine ordered for them both and Kurt noticed that Blaine had slyly memorized his coffee order. He didn't let Kurt pay, then carried both coffees to a table by the window. It was just lightly snowing outside, covering the parked cars and the sidewalks with a powdery dusting. As they took off their scarves and draped them over the backs of their chairs, Blaine gave Kurt a long, sideways glance and said, "So I watched that disk."

Kurt's mouth fell open, and he very slowly lowered himself into his chair. He swallowed twice, frowned, looked outside, brought the back of his hand to his mouth while he cleared his throat, then picked up his coffee and held it in one hand. He finally replied, "You did?" and it sounded like it got tangled up in his vocal chords and didn't entirely make it out.

Blaine also sat down, his eyes were on the table. "I got to see the part of that song I missed. 'Total Eclipse of the Heart.'"

Kurt brought his coffee to his lips like he was taking a sip, but he couldn't swallow, so he just held the cup and stared at the falling snow like it was the most fascinating thing in the entire universe. His temples were throbbing from the tension.

Blaine looked at Kurt. He could see the redness in his cheeks, and the panic in his eyes and were it ran across his forehead in tight lines. He wished Kurt's hands were down on the table so he could reach across and grab them. "I loved it," he assured him, softly.

Kurt looked over. Blaine's eyes had fallen back onto the table, so those long, dark eyelashes had fallen over his eyes. He set down his cup. He took the time to focus on keeping his voice even before responding, "Really?"

There was no way for Blaine to be sure who Kurt had been singing that song for, or about, and having only come in at the end, he had originally imagined it was just practice for Regionals or something, but getting to hear the whole song had sent shivers down his spine. It made him believe what he'd never let himself imagine before: that Kurt was singing it for him. It was silly, but what if it were true? There was no mistaking the cry for help in the vocals, and what if he could be the one to save Kurt from fear and pain for the rest of forever? He wanted to be the hero. Kurt's hero. He wanted to smile at that soft, blushing, nervous face and tell him he would never have to be afraid again.

"Absolutely," he responded.

The corner of Kurt's lip tugged and then he very slowly asked, "What else was on that disk, if you don't mind me asking?"

Blaine grinned, "Wow. You must have something really embarrassing you don't want getting out."

"No! Nothing like that." Kurt took an actual sip of coffee this time, but it was still too hot and he regretted it. His hands were shaking, so he set down the cup again. "I was wondering because, Rachel gave me a disk too."

"Oh?"

"And… not all of it was… worth reliving."

Blaine raised his eyebrows, thought back, and then nodded, "Ah. You mean the part after 'Baby it's Cold Outside.'"

Kurt felt a huge lump set itself down over his heart. He closed his eyes then blinked rapidly and looked back outside. He set his hands in his lap under the table and picked at his fingernails.

Blaine quickly added, "Well, for the record, the duet itself sounded amazing. I was thrilled I got to relive it. We sound great together. Also your duet with Rachel. It's just… your voice gives me chills every time I hear it. You're incredible."

"Thank you… and I'm sorry," Kurt whispered, then tried to continue more strongly, "About the bit on the end. I'm sorry you had to endure it again…" He meant to continue, but his voice broke on the last word and he fell silent and pressed a finger to the edge of his eye to preemptively stop a tear. He'd watched it over and over again, and it hurt just as bad every time, especially seeing Blaine sink to the stage floor.

"Hey! What? Kurt… don't," Blaine reached across the table, but there was nothing to grab, and Kurt was leaning back in his chair, guarded, and as far away as possible without leaving. "Don't be sorry. Not at all. You didn't do anything wrong. You were bullied, and you were hurt, and I pried, and then I couldn't do anything to help you. _I'm_ sorry, Kurt. You trusted me and I blew it."

Kurt shook his head and barely caught another tear as it slipped down his face. The snow outside was a good thick blanket by now. Blaine was so earnest and kind, but Kurt felt like crap about it. "I didn't want you to see it… again. I mean, you were there the first time. I wish she hadn't sent you that disk."

"…I don't… I'm glad she did," he said slowly. Kurt snorted, and Blaine leaned forward, "No, I'm serious. I don't care about that part at the end. I feel awful about it, but it just reminds me that I have so much to fix… between us."

_"Us"_ rang in Kurt's head. He looked Blaine in the eye.

"Kurt, that DVD was the best gift ever. No, really, I love it. I love it because, now I get to hear you sing whenever I want to. I don't have to imagine your voice over Stevie Nicks' when I want to remember what you sound like. Which is good, because I'm sure I'd have gotten tired of "The Edge of Seventeen" at some point." Kurt gave a short chuckle and shot him an inquisitive look that made Blaine smile, "Better than that, I get to hear your voice together with mine whenever I want to, I get to remember that I did sing with you once, and… that we sound amazing together."

Kurt smile and wiped his cheek again. Blaine rummaged through his bag and brought out a packet of tissues to offer him while he replied, "We do have a certain harmonic chemistry..."

_"We have more chemistry than that,"_ Blaine wanted to say, but he set the tissue packet on the table after Kurt accepted one and sipped his coffee to stop himself.

"…Even with the poor sound quality. But I'm still sorry that I stormed out, that day."

"You didn't storm. You had every right," Blaine cut in.

"No. It was supposed to be about you. I promised to help—"

"You did. And I enjoyed singing with you so much more than singing with that girl. Kurt, you did nothing wrong by me."

Kurt worked his jaw for a moment. Blaine was trying so hard to be so nice—although he was right; that girl had been awful— and he was so charming. "Well you'll be happy to know I won't be needing to storm—I mean, walk out, of anywhere… anymore."

"Oh?"

"Yes. They've sent me to mandatory counseling. Like I need it..." He made a face.

Blaine paused. He wished he was close enough to Kurt. He wished he knew enough about the situation to understand why it now required counseling. That bully had kissed Kurt, which Blaine couldn't deny struck him with a churning cocktail of jealousy and rage, and it had affected Kurt so badly. Blaine wished he knew more about it, or that he'd acted before and done something about it right away. He wished he knew more about Kurt so he could help him. "Is it helping?"

Kurt shrugged. "So far I've avoided talking about it all three sessions. So I suppose that's a 'no.'"

"…And the bully? Karof-ska-vich? Is he getting counseling too?"

Kurt looked surprised, corrected the name, and then nodded. "Yeah, he is. Not at the same time—"

"No, of course not."

"—But it'll be good for him. Actually, the school is suddenly on an anti-bullying kick. I think it was all Mr. Schue, our Glee director," Blaine nodded to indicate that he remembered him, "I think it was all his idea. They're raising awareness, talking to the jocks about picking on kids, there's even going to be an anti-bullying assembly this week."

"That's great!" Blaine was truly impressed. His old school had never lifted a finger to go as far as McKinley was going for Kurt. It seemed like Kurt just inspired people to do the right thing. Unlike Blaine, who had lain bloody on a sidewalk outside his old high school, spent a week in the hospital, and then been told he'd provoked the attack. For Blaine it subtly reinforced something in the back of his mind; that he could get the shit beaten out of him, but he would never mean as much to anyone as this boy seemed to mean to absolutely everyone who walked into his life. It reinforced his belief that Kurt was the most incredible person he'd ever met.

Kurt raised his eyebrows sarcastically, "Yeah. It's great. I'm supposed to come up with a list of topics for them to cover at the assembly. Go me."

Blaine shook the thoughts he'd been piling up the moment Kurt's gaze raised from the table to meet his. He took a sip of his coffee and asked, "What have you come up with so far?"

Kurt frowned, "I haven't… I'm not actually going to do it."

"Why not? This is a great opportunity, you can stop the violence, Kurt, not only for you, but for everyone."

Kurt went back to picking his fingernails. "I guess I'm ashamed."

"Of what?"

"That… it _has_ to be me. That I've got this big target sign painted on my back and other people have to sit and listen through this special assembly because _I _got terrified."

"Kurt…"

Kurt cleared his throat, "And I know people try to tell me it isn't my fault, but… every time they do it just sounds like they're saying, 'But hey! You brought this on yourself.'… I know it's important, I just wish I didn't have to be the one to deal with it." He wiped a tear away again and felt ridiculous for crying all the time. "I'm just… not confident enough, I guess," he whispered.

"No, I know what you mean," Blaine agreed. "It's like everyone is sympathetic, but they just think that if you're, you know," he did air quotes, "'choosing' to be gay, you're life's just gonna suck. But you, Kurt, you have people who seriously care about you. You can't pass this by."

"Yeah, but…"

Blaine sat up straighter. "My school's anti-bullying policy was to have a box at the front desk that you could slip anonymous complaints into. That was it. That was the entire prevention program." Blaine looked around, then leaned in, lowering his voice and looked at Kurt with the darkest look Kurt had ever seen on his face. "Kurt… I got beaten within an inch of my life before I realized that some box no one ever read wasn't enough."

Kurt felt cold. "What? Blaine, you…"

He averted his gaze out the window into the snow. "You have a chance, Kurt, to really make a difference, and to be safe without transferring to an expensive academy. You need to take it. I…I really don't want to see you get hurt anymore."

Kurt was silent for a long time. He couldn't stop himself from imagining Karofsky's enormous fist colliding with the side of Blaine's face, with his eye socket, with his ribs. He couldn't shake the image of that beautiful boy doubled over in pain, or lying, mummified, on a hospital bed. Kurt felt stupid. He was so stupid. His problems weren't as bad as that. How could Blaine not think he was acting like a big baby? He'd never been punched before. But then he remembered, until that week before Christmas break… he'd never been kissed either. Not one that counted for anything—not one from a boy. He'd wanted Blaine to be his first kiss. He still, more than anything, wished Blaine could be the second. He wished he was brave enough to shake off his own fears and be the hero who could wipe that residual pain from Blaine's memory. Right then, he could only work up the courage to murmur, "Okay."

After a moment of stunned and contemplative silence, Blaine reclined in his chair, then leaned forward again and asked, "Kurt, would you… um. Do you think I could… could I … hold your hand?"

The boy in question jumped slightly, and then very robotically set his right hand on the table, palm up. Blaine reached for it and ran his fingertips lightly across Kurt's outstretched fingers, making them curl on themselves, then across the palm before wrapping the soft hand up in his own. Kurt's eyelashes fluttered for a moment. Blaine squeezed, and smiled lopsidedly.

"Blaine, I'm sorry…"

He shrugged, eyes fixed on their joined hands. "Don't worry about it, it was a long time ago." He liked the way Kurt said his name, hanging onto the L and sighing through it.

"No, I really am," Kurt squeezed back. "You're just such the… knight in shining armor. I never imagined…"

Blaine gave him a coy look, "Well I do take boxing. Now. After."

Kurt couldn't hold back an embarrassed giggle. He added that to the list of things he definitely wanted to see: Blaine dripping in sweat, punching a bag with the muscles in his bare arms pulsing with every movement. He shifted in his seat slightly, "Really?"

"Yeah. It's good anger management."

"I don't believe you ever get angry."

Blaine ran a finger along the inside of Kurt's wrist and winked, "I have a mean side."

In the pause Kurt realized suddenly what this was: they were holding hands in a coffee shop. He and this gorgeous boy from a private academy, who kept going out with him despite how annoying and difficult he undoubtly had been being, were holding hands in a coffee shop while snow fell outside. He was dating, _dating_, the most beautiful, brown eyed boy he'd ever seen. Just the touch from those slightly calloused hands sent a tingle through his body.

With his left hand, Kurt reached into his bag and pulled out a spare pad of paper, "How about we work on the list together?"

Blaine smiled and looked up at him. The dark look was gone and replaced with the puppy eyes Kurt remembered from before Christmas. "I would love to."

They discussed ideas, and Kurt wrote down each one they settled on, for over half an hour steadily. At some point their hands had slipped apart, but their heads were leaned together over the paper and it felt just as close. Then Kurt's phone started buzzing in his bag. He'd decided to ignore it, even though the buzzing lasted too long to be a text message, but after it had gone on for over a full minute at intervals, he and Blaine could no longer pretend they weren't hearing it.

He winced, "Sorry. Do you mind if I check that?"

Blaine shook his head, "No, please do."

While Kurt dug into his bag to retrieve his phone, Blaine picked up the pad and looked over the list they'd created.

_Ban slushies_

_Secure dumpsters_

_More teachers watching the hallways between classes_

_Teachers watching parking lots before and after school_

_Open peer counseling or discussion groups_

_Bullying Awareness week_

_Start a PFLAG branch_

_Ban dodgeball_

He smiled at their progress. Some of them were very little and localized, but they were on to something. He watched Kurt frown at his phone and then answer, "Yes, Finn?"

Kurt's expression changed as he listened to his response. "Rachel? … SHE WHAT? She ran away?... Ran out?... Finn, why are you so stupid?... No! Why would you do that?..." he stopped and looked at his phone and scrolled through it. Blaine was concerned, but tried to seem unassuming, so he watched the snow fall. It was starting to pile up and one of the Lima Bean workers was headed outside to shovel the walk. "She did…What? No… I'm going to call her now…. I can't believe you, Finn!...Why would you… No. Let's talk about this later…I'm going to call her."

He hung up and looked up at Blaine, who looked back, and raised his eyebrows. Kurt's face was drained. "I'm so sorry, Blaine. I think I may need to chase after Rachel."

Blaine nodded. Whatever was happening, and much as he'd rather keep Kurt all to himself, he definitely understood that friends came first. "Of course. Totally. Whatever you need to do," he smiled, hoping that sounded sincere. Kurt was already raising the phone back up to his ear.

"Rachel?... I know! I'm so sorry! I'm on a, I mean, I'm with Blaine… No! That's okay… I know. He's a moron…I'm so sorry, Rachel…" Kurt began sticking one arm into his jacket, throwing an apologetic look across the table at Blaine. "Stay there…I'm on my way… I'll see you soon, dear. …I know. I'll be there."

He hung up, pulling on his coat, and Blaine stood up. "Is she alright?"

Kurt sighed, "My stupid step-bother just dumped her."

"Oh, geez."

"I'm so sorry to run out like this, Blaine."

"No, don't worry, it's fine. Being there for your friend is more important."

Kurt buttoned his coat, glanced at the snow, and slung on his bag. "I wouldn't leave but… she doesn't really… I mean, _you've_ met her. Other people don't really even _try_ to tolerate her, but I think she needs someone right now. I've never heard her so upset."

Blaine reached out and touched Kurt's shoulder. "Do _you_ need anything?"

Kurt shook his head, "No, just… I'll make this up to you." He touched Blaine's hand where it rested on his shoulder, then let it go as he turned to walk away.

Blaine nodded. They didn't hug, they just waved to each other as Kurt hurried out of the café, with a glance back over his shoulder at Blaine, who was gathering up his own things slowly.

* * *

><p>Kurt made it to Rachel's house, after a text to his father that his plans had changed, and one of Rachel's two dads opened the door when he knocked.<p>

"Hey, Kurt. I'm glad you came over."

"Hello, Mr. Berry. Is Rachel okay?"

He smiled the knowing, fatherly look, "I suspect it's boys." He rolled his eyes, and Kurt smiled in response. Apparently the fathers didn't know yet. Honestly it didn't make sense. Finn had been crazy about her the last time they'd spoken, which was admittedly a few days ago since Finn was terse at best during dinner and too sleepy to speak during the short time they were together in the mornings before school. Whatever changed his mind didn't make sense at all to Kurt.

"Can I go up and see her?"

"Oh absolutely! Go right on up. Oh! Wait, here, bring her a cup of water, would you? It'll make her feel better."

So Kurt ascended the stairs to Rachel's room, passing baby picture after adorable baby picture of her adorning the stairway, tall glass of water in hand, and knocked twice on Rachel's door. It was silent inside, so he leaned an ear against the door and said, "Rachel? It's Kurt."

Immediately the door flew open and she yanked him inside, causing some of the water to slop onto the carpet. She shut the door quickly. Already her hair was a mess, her eyes were red and puffy, and her nose was a runny red swamp. When she wrapped her arms around him and thanked him for coming, he wished he hadn't been wearing one of his favorite jackets.

"Yeesh! It must have been bad. Here, take the water," he said, pushing her off him a little bit so he could remove his jacket and shoes and set down his bag in a position of safety.

Rachel downed the entire glass of water and then hiccupped. "You're the best friend… ever, Kurt," she stammered, then her lip trembled and she flung herself, cup and all, face first onto her bed. She was such a drama queen. Kurt reminded himself he'd just left a date with Blaine and driven in the snow to comfort her, so he shouldn't be rolling his eyes. He sat down on the edge of her bed and patted her back.

"So… what happened?"

She wailed a bit into the pink duvet and then sat up and said, "Finn dumped me!" and pulled Kurt's shoulder to meet her weepy face. Kurt snagged a box of tissues off the nightstand and saved his shirt by slipping one under her face before it touched down.

"Okay…I know that part. What happened?"

"I don't know!" she sniffed, blew her nose into the tissue, then accepted a replacement from him. "I thought he loved me, and I had him take me out to see the new art gallery, and everything was good and we were holding hands and then he was all like," she sat up straighter and lowered her voice to do an impression of Finn, "I'm sorry, Rachel. I think we need to break up!"

"That's it?" Kurt was still confused.

"I know! I mean, I was trying so hard to not be annoying, and to listen to what he likes, and I just…" she started crying even harder again and was shaking too hard to speak for several minutes. Kurt wrapped his arms around her and tried to make comforting noises. Finally she stuttered through a breath and could speak again, "I just… I don't understand why he had to dump me now. It's almost Valentine's Day. He couldn't have waited?"

Valentine's Day was several weeks away, but Kurt hugged her tighter. He'd never had a Valentine before, and he knew how much that hurt, especially when you thought there would be someone and suddenly the world dropped out and it turned out there wasn't.

"He didn't even have a reason," she continued. "It was just, 'Let's break up!' and then he left me there!"

"Wait a minute," Kurt cut in, "He told me you ran off."

"…" she blew her nose again, "Well, I did, but that was after he just stood there staring at me blankly for about five minutes, and I didn't know what to say. He's probably back with Quinn again…"

Kurt held her out at shoulder length, "Hold on there, Rachel. You're hurt. You're upset. Finn's a brainless, idiot oaf who just happens to be incredibly attractive," Rachel let out a small laugh, sniffled, and then went back to wiping falling tears off her cheeks. "But let's not get ahead of ourselves."

"Has he said anything?" she asked, hopefully.

Kurt wished he'd paid more attention to his step brother recently. If he had, maybe there would have been signs. There had just been other things going on, other things to ignore or worry about. "Sorry. Until he called me today I thought he was still completely into you."

"It must be Quinn then. She's so beautiful and he just can't resist. Who could? Why go for someone like me when you could have someone as perfect as her?"

"Whoa there now!" Kurt stood up, "Let's stop the pity party right there. You're way too big a star to be getting jealous of Quinn Fabray. Just think of how much else you have going for you!"

"Yeah? Like what?"

"For one thing, you're talented, Rachel. For another, he chose you over Quinn in the end."

"Yeah, because she was having Puck's baby."

"That's not the point," Kurt grabbed a hair brush off her vanity and settled himself behind her to work out the tangled mat she'd worked into her usually impeccably combed hair. "The point is, whatever reason he had for wanting to break up with you, it's his problem. It has nothing to do with you, because despite your personality and your fashion sense, he still wanted to be with you."

She blew her nose again. "Did you know he slept with Santana though? He told me he hadn't, but he had. Can you believe that?"

Kurt paused, "…You didn't know about that?"

Rachel gasped, "NO! You knew? Did everyone know? Why would he lie about that?"

"Alright, slow down," he resumed brushing, "It still meant more to him when he kissed _you_. That means everything, doesn't it? And just so you know, I've gotten over being jealous about it. You are forgiven."

He smiled, meaning it as a joke, because it had been quite a while since he'd felt more than a healthy amount of brotherly affection toward Finn. Rachel took it seriously, "Oh yeah, I'm so sorry, Kurt. I forgot you've never been kissed."

Kurt stopped brushing. He every muscle in his face pulled taut and his hands shook slightly. Dave Karofsky's face, the smell of Old Spice, the sticky pressure of those lips against his, and his head trapped against the locker and between clammy, rough hands. It had been easy not to think about it during break, but the memory came with a churn from his stomach and he felt light headed, like he might be sick.

Rachel noticed the pause and gasped. "Oh my god. No way, you have?" she turned around excitedly, but missed the ghostly white drain of his face. She grabbed his hands. "Spill! Was it Blaine? Oh my god, did he kiss you today on your date? I dragged you away from that! I'm so sorry, Kurt!"

As she sniffed loudly, then squeezed and shook his hands, hairbrush and all, he regained control of himself enough to steadily say, "No, it wasn't Blaine."

"What? I thought you liked Blaine. Who was it then? Kurt! Why don't you ever _tell_ me anything?"

Kurt pulled his hands away and stood up, putting on false enthusiasm, "Oh hey! How about we watch a movie!"

Rachel wiped around her eyes again with her fingertips and then sat up straighter on the edge of the bed. "Oh no! You aren't getting away that easy. It was Blaine, wasn't it? Oh! I'm so happy for you, Kurt!"

Kurt clenched his teeth and turned away from her, kneeling down to look at the small collection of DVDs she kept exclusively in her room. "Let's watch Moulin Rouge, how does that sound?"

She got up and walked behind him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders with a teasing "Kuuu~rt! It was totally Blaine."

He tried to shake her off, but she was hanging heavily on his back with her cheek touching his. He took a deep breath. "No. It wasn't Blaine. I wish it was, but it wasn't, okay?"

She let go of him and sat back on her heels, confused. "Well then, who was it?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Yeah it does! I want to know! Please? I'm miserable here; I at least need to live vicariously through your love life."

"There's nothing to live vicariously through," he assured her, digging his fingernails into his palms.

"Why? What happened?"

He kept his eyes trained on the DVDs for several long seconds, working the knot from his throat and trying to decide what to say. How long could he keep this in? She would gossip. It would ruin Karofsky's life. It wasn't right to do that to anyone, not ever. Not even though he'd had to skip gym twice already and hide in the choir room because he couldn't bring himself to enter the locker room, and not even though he felt like he might puke if he so much as thought the name again. It was different. He could escape all of this, but Karofsky couldn't escape that he was gay. He started to turn around, but realized there was a tear escaping down his cheek and stopped himself mid-turn to wipe it away.

"Kurt… what's wrong?" Rachel asked.

"Nothing. Nothing's wrong. It was just something, I didn't mean for it to happen, but it did, and Blaine knows—"

"Blaine knows?" Rachel was completely confused.

"—And I'm seeing Miss Pillsbury now and it's okay." He tried to smile to show her it was okay, but his heart was beating fast and more tears were trying to escape. Rachel slowly reached for the tissue box and handed it to him.

"Oh my god… Kurt…" she breathed deeply, evenly, while he wiped the tears away and looked determinedly away from her. She searched back through her memory of everything he'd gone through over the last month. "Was it Karofsky?" Kurt's breath hitched and he closed his eyes. "Oh god… Kurt! Is that what he did to you?"

He sucked in his cheeks and bit his lip. He could just shake his head, get up and leave. He could drive through the snow, all the way to wherever Blaine had gone off to after leaving Lima Bean, he could race into those strong, Warbler arms, and he could feel safe. He wouldn't have to face up to this again… But the reality was; Blaine wasn't his boyfriend. They'd only just held hands for the very first time and it was as likely out of pity as anything else. They'd only known each other a month. Here he was seated across from Rachel Berry and her puffy, red eyes and if it was so important to him to be there for her that he'd leave a date with Blaine, maybe he owed her the truth. He nodded once, took another tissue, and whispered, "I know it's just stupid."

"No!" Rachel stood up, "That's not stupid! Kurt, that's horrible! He harassed you for being gay and then he turns out gay himself? And he stole your first kiss? Does he know how important to you that is?"

"Please don't tell anyone," Kurt gasped.

"Are you kidding? I'm going to tell everyone! If he thinks he can get away with this then he's dead wrong. He hurt you, Kurt! He made you miserable. He's getting a taste of his own goddamn medicine. And _Blaine_ knows about this? What's he done? He should have been over there beating Karofsky up! You know what? _Finn_ should have been—"

Kurt grabbed her hand and pulled her back down onto the floor in front of him. He was shaking his head. "No. No, you can't, Rachel. You can't tell anyone. He's getting help. He's in counseling. You can't ruin his life like that."

"He ruined yours!" Rachel shot back.

"No, I'm fine…"

She reached out and touched his cheek. "No. You're not. You're holding together because you're you, but Kurt, you've been a mess… ever since it happened. You've needed someone to help you."

Kurt closed his eyes and leaned into her. It was a weird feeling, both like everything was messed up and he was the worst person in the world, and like a huge weight had been lifted and the skies were clearing up again. He hugged her and she ran her hand up and down his back.

"Why hasn't Blaine done anything about this?" she asked again.

He pulled back and shrugged. "Because I asked him not to," he admitted. "He shouldn't have to deal with this."

"Of course he should! He's your boyfriend. I mean, _mine_ up and chucked _me_, but I'm pretty sure revenge is _exactly_ what they're for."

Kurt smiled sadly, "No he's not. At least, I mean, I want him to be, but we aren't official yet."

Rachel cupped his cheek in her hand and rubbed it with her thumb. "Is that why? Because of Karofsky… is that why you won't make it official yet?"

Kurt blinked. "Maybe… I mean. I don't know. I don't think Blaine…"

"I think Blaine would like to," Rachel cut in. "I know he likes you, Kurt. And you like him." Kurt nodded. "Well then?"

He looked away from her. "No, not yet. I'm not ready."

"Valentine's Day then? So… so I can live through you, since I won't be having one of my own."

Kurt smiled, "Okay. And thanks. And please don't tell anyone about… about what happened."

She frowned, but finally nodded. "Okay… but I think _you_ should."

He shrugged and took another tissue. She took one as well and they both wiped the tear streaks off their faces. "What a pair we make, huh?"

Rachel grinned and agreed. They both had puffy eyes and runny noses that were chapping their skin. "Let's go wash our faces, then we can watch a movie and you can help get this knot out of my hair, okay?" she asked.

"Okay."

She kissed Kurt's cheek, then they helped each other to their feet, taking turns at the sink in her private bathroom and helping each other apply moisturizers, then deciding to go all out and do masks. He called home, then spent the night at Rachel's. There was over a half-foot of snow on the ground when he left early to shower and change before school.

* * *

><p><strong>AN**- Hefty, hefty chapter. So many tears. But I hope you enjoyed it! I'm gonna get this out here now: I hate Finn. I think he's a hypocritical bitch. However, I'm trying to stay in character, so hopefully that doesn't come across. I don't have a clue for the next chapter. Up till this point I've tried to stay ahead of the chapters, but I've got nothing. I almost split this one into two parts, but instead you may just not get anything for a while. Sorry! No clue when it'll be up. Please review if you have some headcanon or encouragement or whatever. I'm still aiming for Monday.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N- **I'm branching out and have started posting this story on if anyone would rather read it from there. Thanks for your reviews! Have any of you read "Roses in December" by ckofshadows? I cried so much through it, it's absolutely beautiful, and now I'm reading and loving "Dalton" by CP Coulter. If you're looking for more fic recommendations after "Little Numbers," those are mine. Where have they been all my life?

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><p><strong>Just Like The White Winged Dove<strong>

* * *

><p>Kurt took what Rachel said to heart. The likelihood that he was nervous about asking Blaine to officially be his boyfriend being because of what Karofsky had done to him, was high. Maybe he didn't want to get involved with someone as kind and amazing as Blaine while he was still terrified to walk alone at his own school. But he did want to look deeply into Blaine's eyes and hold Blaine's hand again, and he did want to be wrapped up in his arms. If Rachel was right, and his fear of commitment centered on being bullied, then he knew what he had to do.<p>

Thursday morning, school was not cancelled because three-quarters of a foot of snow never seemed shut down the school districts in Lima. Luckily, fishtailing on the way to school didn't so much as phase Kurt, as a native to Ohio and the son of a mechanic, so he made it to school without crashing.

In Glee club that day Rachel was recovered from her night of crying through a series of musicals and Meg Ryan movies, and had decided to take on Finn's break up with a fiery version of Avril Lavigne's "What the Hell," to which she got last minute back up from all the girls. Finn wouldn't make eye contact with anyone during the meeting and hadn't been willing to talk to Kurt, or Puck, or even Quinn all day, though they all made concerted efforts.

When Glee club was over, Kurt handed Mr. Schuester his list of topics he and Blaine had come up with for the anti-bullying assembly and ran out before they could go over them together.

Friday morning he woke up early for the fourth of his bi-weekly meetings with Miss Pillsbury, and he dressed carefully. He wanted to be comfortable, but also fabulous enough to induce confidence. As he grabbed a slice of wheat toast with non-preservative jam and headed for his car, he stopped, standing on the well-shoveled walk, and texted Blaine.

_Good morning! Sorry if I'm waking you up. I just wanted to say… you're amazing. Sorry for running out the other day, and thank you for everything._

He was just sliding into his car when the response came. _Good morning! There's no need to apologize for anything. This is the best way to wake up. How's Rachel?_

_She sang an Avril Lavigne song yesterday. So… not good._

_Haha! What's wrong with Avril?_

_Rachel's a Streisand girl. But sorry I woke you up! I wanted let you know that, thanks to you, I'm going to start facing my demons today._

_Good! I'm glad! Congratulations!_

_And Blaine? I was wondering… _He actually typed the ellipsis and sent it while he mulled over how he should phrase his question.

…_Yes?_

_Could you give me some time to sort all this out? And then… could I book your time for Valentine's Day?_

There was a pause, and Kurt started the engine to begin defrosting the window while he searched for the ice-scraper. Blaine's reply came a minute later, _Yes! Yes, absolutely! Yes, please!_

Kurt smiled ear to ear and hopped in his seat a little. _Thank you! _he wrote back, then he took a deep breath. He had a date for Valentine's Day! He had a _date_! A date with Blaine, the beautiful, angel-voiced Warbler in the gorgeous red-piped blazer from the private academy. That made it official then, didn't it? "_No, not quite_," he reminded himself. He would officially make it official on Valentine's Day... but only if he could sort himself out before then.

He took a deep breath and sent another message right away, _I could really use some courage right now._ Then he scraped the ice off the windshield and ignored the vibration from a new message while he drove. When he got to school he checked his phone again. It read:

_Courage! A million times, COURAGE!_

He smiled, and held the phone to his heart while he entered the school and walked to Miss Pillsbury's office.

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><p>"Good morning, Kurt!" Miss Pillsbury said cheerily, carefully arranging a new set of pamphlets behind her desk labeled <em>How well DO I know my step father?<em>

"Morning, Miss Pillsbury."

She smiled at him and indicated the seat, then sat down, taking the extra time to put her chair exactly where she wanted it. "Now! So. Okay. Let's talk."

Kurt sighed, "First, I'd like to apologize for not really using these… sessions for what they're meant for."

"Oh! Kurt, that's fine. I'm just here to be whatever you need."

"That's… These… counseling meetings… nothing we talk about will ever leave here, right?"

"No. Everything is completely between you and me, Kurt. No one else ever has to know what you say here."

"Okay." Kurt sat up very straight, "Then, I wanted to say that…I _have_ been having problems. I've been having a lot of problems, actually. I'm terrified of going to school sometimes because of…" he paused and glanced at the door, just in case, "Because of Dave Karofsky."

"Because he's been bullying you?" she asked, encouragingly.

Kurt ran his tongue across the back of his teeth and fixed his eyes on the corner of the desk. "Yes, well…yes. And I feel like I need to address that."

"That's good, Kurt. Addressing your problems is the first step to overcoming them."

"Well… so I need to ask a favor." His heart was beating fast.

"Anything!" she said, cheerily.

Kurt closed his eyes and squeezed his phone. "I think I need to talk face to face with Dave."

Miss Pillsbury smiled and nodded, "I couldn't agree more."

"I think I want to talk to him… alone. But I'm scare to," she was nodding, but her face looked concerned.

"Okay. It's okay to be scared, but I don't think you need to talk to him alone, Kurt. I can be here as mediator."

He paused and asked, "These walls are sound-proof, right?"

She raised her eyebrows, "Um… yes? Yes I think so. Yes, they are."

Blaine's _"Yes! Yes, absolutely! Yes, please!"_ was running through his head. This was all for Valentine's Day. If he didn't address this now, he'd never have his chance. "On Monday, could Dave and I meet alone in here, and… and you and Schuester and… I don't know, Principal Figgins, and maybe an armed guard could wait outside?" His cheeks were flushed and his heart was pounding. The room wasn't very big. Obviously he'd have to sit right by the door in case he needed to escape, but the walls were glass and with faculty watching from outside it would be totally safe, right? It was possible Karofsky was just as scared and confused as he was. He wondered what Miss Pillsbury had been talking about with the Neanderthal and if he'd been skirting the issue the same way Kurt had.

Miss Pillsbury just nodded, "Monday afternoon is my usual time to talk with Dave, so I'm sure it'll work out. I'll just have to let him know. That would be fine, Kurt. You don't think you need a mediator in the room? Because I am happy to sit here with you if you'd like."

Kurt took a breath, "I think it'll be better for us both if we talk alone."

"…Okay. Okay, I'll arrange it then. I'll see you after school on Monday."

Kurt smiled, "Thank you, Miss Pillsbury."

She shrugged and nodded appreciatively and they sat in silence for a few minutes before she pointed out they still had over a half hour of counseling time.

"Anything else you'd like to talk with me about, Kurt? Relationships, maybe?"

Kurt smiled softly and shrugged, "I think I'm in love?" he supplied.

Miss Pillsbury's eyes went wide, "With Dave?"

"No!" Kurt went red with horror, remembering the locker room all over again and considering whether or not there he should just give up and chicken out. "No! No no no no no no no. Totally other guy. A guy from Dalton."

Miss Pillsbury looked relieved. "Oh! Good! Phew! Well… what's his name?"

"Blaine…" Kurt smiled just saying the name. Valentine's Day was just over a week away. He opened up the, now extensive, photo gallery of Blaine on his phone and chose a particularly charming picture in which Blaine had been giving him a sideways glance and smiling his dashing, debonair smile, and showed it to Miss Pillsbury. They spent the rest of the session discussing the many different things that made Blaine dreamy.

* * *

><p>The rest of the day went well. The mandatory assembly was less grudged than expected because it got people out of class, and the Cheerios were scheduled to perform. The Glee club had been asked, but declined, partly for Kurt's sake. Some police officers had been called in and discussed teenage suicides caused by bullying and different forms of bullying and there was a slideshow that resulted with crying in the audience. A few of Blaine and Kurt's amendments had been adopted by the school board, so slushies were banned on campus—which made quite a few people angry— and Bullying Awareness week was implemented for the following week, every year from then on. It was progress, plain and simple.<p>

There were no riots at the assembly, just a few violent hugs from his friends, and then Kurt could spend his weekend rereading Blaine's last text and dreading Monday.

* * *

><p>By the time Monday rolled around, <em>"A million times, COURAGE"<em> didn't seem like it would be nearly enough to keep Kurt from running straight to his car after classes let out. He was supposed to meet with Schuester and walk to Miss Pillsbury's office where she'd arranged to have Principal Figgins present while the boys talked. No matter how many times Kurt reminded himself that this was his own idea, and that Schuester wouldn't let anything happen to him and the prize at the end would be asking Blaine to officially be his boyfriend… just the idea of sitting in a closed space with Karofsky and that Old Spice smell that he'd come to associate with panic, was almost too much to handle.

At his locker after the last class let out, Puck walked up to him.

"Dude. I heard you're talking to Karofsky. What's up with that? I thought having the Cheerios jump around and tell everyone that bullying is bad was enough. Why are you talking to him?"

"Thanks for your concern," Kurt replied with a weak smile, "But I have to confront him. Things won't get better till I do."

Puck closed Kurt's locker door, "I don't understand why things are so bad _now_. What happened, Kurt? Why don't you just let me punch him in the face again and we'll call it good?"

Kurt leaned against the closed lockers, "Thanks, Puck, but it's not worth you getting suspended again."

Puck snorted and started to walk away, "Like hell it's not."

Kurt pushed off from the locker and followed him. "What?"

"I said 'like hell.'" He stopped walking again and turned to Kurt, "Dude. You've been walking around like someone kicked your puppy all day. And you know what else? I hear about it when you don't show up for gym class. You know that? I know something's been up, and between you and Finn it seems like nobody's happy anymore."

Shocked, and watching the faces of everyone who passed by carefully, hoping no one cared to listen in, Kurt replied, "That's why I have to fix this."

"And sitting down to dinner and crabcakes with Karofsky is going to fix it? Dude, that's messed up! You're fucking terrified of him!"

Kurt stepped out of the middle of the hallway into the drinking fountain alcove and Puck followed, "Yes, I'm terrified," Kurt admitted in a low hiss, "But he's got problems too, you know? And I think… I think if he and I could get on the same page, maybe it would be better for both of us. Puck, I'm paranoid. Yes, I've been skipping gym, and I'm afraid to walk alone, but if I can't solve this diplomatically and be comfortable in my own school again, how can I ask Blaine to be my boyfriend?"

Puck's eyes narrowed, "Wait… I'm confused. I thought we were talking about Karofsky."

"Yes. We are. I'm going to confront him now, in a safe and mostly controlled environment, and then, hopefully, I'm going to have the confidence to ask out Blaine."

"I thought you two were already together," Puck said, not questioning, but as though it was just a fact of life and Kurt was stupid for not knowing it too.

"Not officially."

"… Oh." Puck frowned at him like Kurt was pulling his leg, "But what if something happens and Karofsky tries to shove his fist down your throat?"

"I don't think that's going to be a problem. He must be confused too. I think I can work things out."

Puck nodded, and then clapped him on the shoulder. It was a weird gesture for Puck, in the middle of a still-crowded hallway, to be so affectionate with another boy. "Want me to go with you?"

Kurt smiled and touched Puck's hand, at which point he pulled it away, "No. But thank you, Puck. I gotta go find Mr. Schue."

As Kurt walked off, Puck called after him, "Good luck! Seriously, if you need me to, I'll beat his ass."

"I know," Kurt called back, without turning around.

"And that kid… Blaine? Good luck with him too. He's a lucky dude, and all. I'll beat his ass too, okay?" Kurt turned around and tilted his head to the side, eyes narrowed. "I mean, if he doesn't say yes."

They were ten paces from each other, but the hallways were clearing out. Kurt laughed and said, "Thanks? I think?" Puck shrugged.

"I got used to the idea of having a little girl to protect, and since I don't," he shrugged again, "Well… I'm happy to help."

Kurt's lips parted. He'd almost forgotten that Quinn's baby last year had been a traumatic experience for him as well, not quite as traumatic as for her, obviously, but why else had be gone to Juvie in the first place? Puck was still having his own crisis. Kurt spread his arms, "Hug?" he mouthed wordlessly.

Puck snorted, "Hell no!" He leered, and turned on his heel. Kurt smiled and headed toward the choir room, where Mr. Schuester was beginning to worry.

* * *

><p>Miss Pillsbury gave a welcoming speech to both parties from behind her desk while they sat in her office, Kurt placed closest to the door, as requested. Schuester and Figgins were right outside, staring in. Karofsky was leaned back in his chair, arms crossed tight over his chest. That awful, familiar smell was wafting through the air. Although Kurt was trying to maintain a lofty demeanor, he could feel his palms sweat.<p>

After wishing them luck and reminding them they could just knock on the glass if they needed anything, she left them alone and closed the door behind her. Kurt stared over at Karofsky who stared back. They were silent, letting the room fill up with that Old Spice stench and the tension in their breathing patterns. Finally, Kurt lamely said, "Hi."

"Hi? That's what you have to say to me? You get me stuck in here, after school, caught up in these lame therapy sessions and all you have to say to me is—"

Kurt could feel himself flushing. He kind of wanted to spring on Karofsky and beat his face in, but he knew he'd just get thrown off. He was also partly afraid Karofsky would do the same to him, and there was no way he'd stand a chance if that happened. At least there were people watching this time. Remembering how it felt… no. That wouldn't help. He cut Karofsky off, "Then how about I start off with, 'Hey, Dave. Why don't you come out of the closet?'"

Karofsky's face drained of color and he glanced at the door. "What the fuck are you talking about?" he growled.

"You _kissed_ me."

He pounded his fist into the arm of the chair and hissed, "Shut. Up." All the teachers outside jumped and Schuester put a hand on the glass. Kurt leaned back, trying to appear more relaxed than he felt to keep them from jumping in.

Kurt shrugged, "They can't hear us."

"I don't care. I will _not_ be humiliated by you."

"Humiliated _how_?"

"You're a fucking _fag_, Hummel," Karofsky reminded him.

"_You_ kissed me," Kurt leaned forward slightly. Karofsky glanced out through the glass again. Miss Pillsbury was speaking, but all they could see was her lips moving. Both the boy's bags were leaning against the outside of the glass, with the teachers. Kurt had been asked to leave his jacket out there as well, and Karofsky his letterman's jacket, and it was beginning to feel quite cold in the counseling office. Kurt's eyes left the offender's and strolled across the new pamphlets that lined the back shelf. One simply read, _Ingrown hairs?_. He took a breath and looked back at Karofsky. The question of the kiss still hung in the air. "Let's discuss _that_, shall we?"

When Kurt looked back, Karofsky had also chosen to look away, "There's nothing to discuss."

Honestly, when his hands were tied and he wasn't tossing a slushie in your face or bearing down on you in a deserted locker room, he wasn't a scary looking guy. "Why did you do it?"

Karofsky's gaze met his. He was chewing on his bottom lip. "Why didn't you tell anyone?"

Kurt frowned, "…What?"

"You didn't tell anyone about it."

"…No. I didn't."

Karofsky nodded and leaned forward. "These last two weeks Miss Pillsbury has been having me read articles and watch videos on youtube of these kids who killed themselves because of bullying. Gay kids. Kids like… like you…" he glanced at the glass again and then turned his head so he wasn't facing the faculty, "…And me."

Kurt nodded, confused. Karofsky was shaking his head.

"You know, it's not like I didn't know that stuff was out there. I've seen it all on the news and stuff. I heard about that kid who jumped off a bridge because his roommate posted some video of him and another dude. I know how messed up all that stuff is. I don't live in a fucking box."

Kurt opened his mouth to speak but closed it again. He frowned and glanced out at the glass as well. Everyone was talking and gesturing outside. "Then why—?"

Karofsky leaned in. "There's other stuff out there too, you know. Worse stuff. Do you know how many kids get beaten to _death_ by their classmates, or shot, or tortured just for being _gay_?" His hands were shaking. "The suicides? Yeah, those suck. Those are bad, but _murder_? And okay, I mean, I did horrible things to you…"

"Dave…"

"… I'd have _never_ done that. But you know what?" He looked straight at Kurt, eyes becoming red from the force back tears. His jaw was set straight. "I did it to _you_… so it wouldn't happen to _me._"

Outside the glass, the teachers had ceased their discussion of Sue Sylvester's new policy to usurp the Glee club's budget, and their attention was turned inside. The atmosphere between the two boys had changed again. They were both pale, and Karofsky was blinking rapidly. Kurt leaned forward and touched the bully's hand, which was immediately pulled away. Schuester glanced at Miss Pillsbury.

"Don't touch me, Hummel," Dave warned.

Kurt thought about the packet of tissues Blaine had let him take. They were still in his bag. However, there was a box right there on the table, so he picked that up and handed it to Dave, who refused and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.

"You shouldn't do that. Your eyes will get puffy," Kurt said, softly.

"Yeah? What do you care. I don't give a fuck how my eyes look."

Kurt set the box back down, closer to Dave this time. Once it was on the table, Dave reached and took one. He wiped his eyes, and Kurt sighed. "Does it work?"

"…What?"

"… Do people believe you're straight?"

"Yeah. I guess. For the most part. I don't know."

Kurt nodded, "But _you_ don't."

Karofsky threw the tissue at the trashcan, past Kurt. "Oh, fuck you!"

"You kissed me," Kurt reminded him again.

"You know what? You're starting to sound like a broken record. What do you want me to say? I'm sorry? Lapse of judgment?"

Kurt set his jaw as well and tapped his finger on the knee of his pants. "That was… my first kiss."

Dave was silent for a minute, then said, "No, wait a minute, I thought you dated Brittney Pierce."

Kurt rolled his eyes and crossed his legs irritably. "First kiss from a _boy_, Dave. You stole my first _real_ kiss. How could you do that?"

"What does it matter?"

Kurt looked at him helplessly. "It matters, Dave! I didn't exactly imagine I would practically be wetting myself with fear during my _first kiss_. Why would you do that to me? I don't understand! You could have beaten the crap out of me and kept your secret, but you didn't. Why?"

Karofsky set his jaw and looked away, chewing the inside of his cheek.

After several moments of silence Kurt whispered, "… Do you like me?"

"…What?"

Kurt took a deep breath. The way the other boy looked over at him, the softness in his face, the light that sparked momentarily in his eye. Kurt's stomach was still rolling over, but he was beginning to see now. "Because, Dave,… I can't be your ticket to feeling good about yourself," he whispered.

Karofsky snorted, and turned his head to look at the far wall. "Get over yourself, Hummel. I'm not asking you to be. I don't… feel…like that."

Kurt shifted uncomfortably, "For one thing," he continued, "You wear Old Spice deodorant."

Karofsky rolled his eyes, but took another tissue. "Um, yeah. I play sports, it's kind of required so I don't smell like a fucking gym sock all day."

"Well, I've come to associate that smell with _fear_ now, so…"

They caught each other's eye for a split second and both hid a smile. Saying it aloud did make it sound ridiculous. Karofsky pulled his arms in closer to his body. "Well, good. You _should_ be afraid."

"I don't have to be, though. And I don't _want_ to be." Kurt leaned forward and touched the back of Dave's hand. This time it wasn't pulled away. "You don't have to act like this. No one is going to hurt you, Dave."

"…You don't know that."

"I can help you," Kurt paused, determined to leave his hand where it was and wipe the images of being grabbed and thrown through the window out of his mind. Dave's eyes met his, expectantly. He bit his lip and added, "Just… not how you want me to."

Dave tilted his head to the side. He pulled his hand away, and his lip trembled slightly. He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and coughed, then looked at Kurt seriously. "…What's wrong with me?"

Kurt weighed the ways to answer. For several seconds he just sat there, then he said, "You're just scared, Dave… But you don't have to be. Neither do I. People respect you. _You_ can make a difference."

"How?"

Kurt smiled, "You can stop picking on me, for one thing."

Karofsky shrugged and whispered, "I am sorry…for that." He sniffed, "I'm sorry for everything."

"I know," Kurt smiled up at him. "I know you are."

"I'm going to transfer."

"You don't have to..." Kurt was mildly shocked.

"I can't be here with you… after that. I'm sorry. I was stupid, and I was horrible to you," he was crying, "and I can't stay here… and have _that_ get out."

"Dave…"

"I'm not brave, like you, Kurt. I'm not really that strong."

"Yes, you are."

"No. I'm not. I can't just _be_ gay, like you. I… I have to figure this out for myself."

"…I wouldn't ever tell, you know."

Karofsky sniffed and gave him a look, "Why not?"

"I don't believe in outing. I know how hard it is."

The response was a nod, and then he stood up and threw the tissue in the trash. Kurt stood up as well, realizing as he did so that his legs felt weak and shaky. Karofsky said, "Whoever he is, someday… your boyfriend's gonna be a lucky guy."

Kurt smiled, blushed, and held out a hand, which Karofsky took and shook firmly. "Yours too."

* * *

><p>At Dalton, the Warblers were gathered in senior hall, pretending to do homework, but they all sprang up immediately when Blaine burst through the main double doors with, "OH YEAH!"<p>

They'd been rehearsing their own parts all afternoon, and they were finally ready for the full run-through, complete with theatrics. "Misery" had been Blaine's personal choice for their setlist for Regionals and he'd insisted they at least spend that day working on it and decide whether to keep it or not after they'd performed the finished version. The group was very excited about it.

When the song was over, Wes pulled Blaine aside. "Interesting song choice, Blaine," he said, cool as a cucumber.

"Yeah! We sounded great, didn't we?" he asked, excitedly. David and Thad, as the other members of the council came around the other side of him.

Wes continued, "We sounded phenomenal, as always, and you were especially…mmm…emotional."

David caught on fast, "Which made us wonder if there was a bit of a personal message going on behind the lyrics?"

Blaine shook his head and scoffed, still smiling ear to ear. They all rolled their eyes and Thad mocked, "I am in mi~sery. There ain't nobody who can comfort me!" The other two joined in and mocked along with, "Why won't you an~swer me? The silence is slowly ki~lling me? Oh yeah!"

Blaine shoved them all off of him as they started to lean in and he skipped a few paces away, then turned around. "What? No way! What are you guys talking about?"

Wes raised an eyebrow, "Things going alright with you and Kurt 'gentle-singing-angel-of-perfection' Hummel?"

Blaine rolled his eyes, smiled, and turned red. "Things," he put that in air quotes, "Are going fine. He's asked me to be his Valentine."

David and Thad's eyes shot open and they both walked up to him and clapped him on shoulders enthusiastically, "That's awesome, man! Congratulations!"

"Then what's with the sad songs, Blaine?" Wes asked, with a fatherly look.

"What? We sounded great! The guys loved it!"

"Shouldn't you be singing something more… I don't know? Romantic? Or stealing away in the middle of rehearsals to be with this charming beau?" Wes pointed out, and Thad nodded his agreement.

Blaine stood there in thought for a moment, then walked over and sat down dramatically on the couch. "He's asked me to give him some space until then so he can work through some things."

"Some space?" David asked.

"Until Valentine's Day?" Thad asked.

Wes frowned, "That's not for another week!"

"I know!" Blaine tossed his head back, looking pathetic. "I miss him…"

Wes rolled his eyes and sat down beside Blaine. "Okay, look. You've only known him a month."

"Two months!" Blaine sat up straight and held up the corresponding fingers.

David cut in, "Two months, fine, but you can't be pining over him already. Are you two even official yet?"

Blaine looked between the three of them. "Well… on Valentine's Day…"

"So, in other words, No," Wes supplied. "You race out of class early on Wednesdays to get coffee and you text him during school, but you haven't actually asked him to be with you yet."

Blaine leaned his head on Wes's shoulder and closed his eyes, "…No…"

"Then I guess we need to stake an intervention, because this is becoming a distraction," Wes said, tartly.

Blaine shot up, "What!"

David rolled his eyes and Wes added, "Not for you, Blaine. For the rest of us. Your melancholy is incredibly distracting."

"You know we'd all follow you to the ends of the Earth," Thad reminded him.

"But we have got to do something about you being in 'misery,'" David said, air quoting the last word.

"What am I supposed to do? Kurt asked for space, and he's serious this time. I can't just go breaking promises to him. He's not going to want to be my boyfriend…"

Thad sat down on Blaine's other side. "We need to distract you."

"How?" Blaine asked.

"Let's prepare for you to serenade him on Valentine's Day," David suggested. It was hardly out of his mouth before Blaine leapt off the couch and was pointing excitedly to each of them in turn. Wes glared at David.

"Yes! Yes! Yes! That's perfect! I'll pick a song, and we'll have him come here, or we can go there, and I'll bring flowers, and I'll get down on one knee—"

"Hold it! Hold it!" Wes tried to cut in, but Blaine turned his back.

"This is perfect! This is just what I need! Thank you, thank you all so much, this is going to be the best Valentine's Day ever!" he called as he ran off down the hall.

David just shrugged in response to Wes's "_Are you kidding me?"_ stare. "We can make it a whole big party. It doesn't just have to be about Blaine."

"_Everything_ we do is about Blaine," Thad reminded them. Pure statement, no hint of jealousy or bitterness. The other two agreed.

* * *

><p>That night Mercedes received a text from the number marked in her phone as <em>Kurt's Hunky Warbler<em>. The message read: _I need your help. It's about Kurt._

Immediately she texted back, _Is he okay?_

There was a long silence, so she texted Kurt the same question instead. He wrote back immediately, _Yes! Why? I dealt with Karofsky today._

She texted back a _Good! No reason. I'm proud of you, Kurt! I need details!_ Just as the response from Blaine arrived.

_Yes! I mean, I hope so. I need you to get him to learn this song by Valentine's Day, without telling him why._

She replied with, _What song and why?_

An audio clip was sent to her. She looked at the title and narrowed her eyes. She texted back, _Seriously?_

_Please, please, please help me, Mercedes? I want to sing this as a duet with Kurt. I'll make it up to you. I'll take you to Breadstix this Friday._

Mercedes considered it. She wasn't sure a covert date with her best friend's boyfriend was actually a good idea, but if she was honest with herself, he had her at "_Breadstix."_

_Alright, you're on. Tell me which part to teach him and you can pick me up on Friday at 6._

Her next text was from Kurt and it read, _I'm coming over!_

Blaine's message said, _Thank you so much! I'm e-mailing sheet music._

A minute later it was followed by, _Also, all of The New Directions are cordially invited to Dalton Academy at 4:00pm on Valentine's Day. We're having a party. I promise it will be the event of the season._

Mercedes smirked, _I'll see what I can do. You just make sure my boy Kurt gets swept off his feet, loverboy._

He sent back, _With all my heart, I will._

* * *

><p>An hour later Kurt was sitting on Mercedes bed, frowning, while listening to an mp3 of Neon Trees' "<em>Animal<em>" and asking skeptically, "Is this a song about cannibalism?"

"Don't care, you've gotta learn it anyway," Mercedes told him, swiping the fresh sheet music off her printer and shoving it at him.

* * *

><p><strong>AN**- You can go ahead and blame "Dalton" by CP Coulter for the late update. It's so long! I'm completely engrossed! Midterms? What midterms?


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N-** Happy Valentine's Day! "_And to all the singles out there: This is our year."_

* * *

><p><strong>Just Like the White Winged Dove<strong>

* * *

><p>Over the next week Blaine imposed on Mercedes a lot more than he'd meant to. Every day he was texting questions about Kurt's favorite color, his preferred flowers, favorite sweets, middle name, beverage of choice, kitties or puppies, ninjas or pirates… they stopped pertaining to the upcoming event with stunning rapidity. Most of the time he only texted her so he could restrain himself from texting Kurt. He'd spend hours lying on his bed, holding his phone to his heart, listening to the scratchy recording of Kurt singing "Total Eclipse of the Heart," which had been made into an audio clip for him by one of the Warblers, and wondering what would be the harm in just a <em>"Hi, Kurt!"<em> Then he'd come to his senses and text Mercedes for more tight-lipped details into Kurt's life. By the time Friday rolled around, he more than owed her the expensive dinner at Breadstix they shared, at which she assured him of Kurt's excitement for the following Tuesday.

After the pseudo-date, he spent the entire weekend and most of Monday worrying and planning and rehearsing, both with the Warblers and on his own, and trying to come up with precisely the right way to ask Kurt to be his boyfriend.

Tuesday, during class, Blaine finally received a _So… See you at Dalton this afternoon?_ from Kurt, the first non-Mercedes communication the two had had in over a week. He made a small squeak and bounced in his seat when he got it and had to ask to be excused so as not to disrupt the rest of the class while he jumped up and down, fist pumped and hugged himself with excitement. After calming down, he replied with _Yes. See you then._ before barraging Mercedes with yet more questions, some of which she'd already answered, and most of which she ignored, choosing to instead focus on her lunch hour and Kurt's nervous inanity. For not having a Valentine, she felt like she was doing an awful lot of planning for the big day. Over the course of the next few minutes she was fielding, _What's he doing right now? _and _Should I text him? I think I should text him again._ before threatening Blaine with handing her phone over to Kurt, and simultaneously Kurt—who was asking yet again if she thought he should bring Blaine flowers—with calling up Blaine. They both declined on the basis of wanting that afternoon to be a surprise. Instead Kurt leaned his head together with Rachel and they made sad faces at each other. Rachel and Mercedes would both be going stag to Dalton's party, and Finn hadn't shown up to school that day at all. Rachel's plans to ambush him with love on Valentine's Day had failed and she was just trying to be happy for Kurt.

Throughout the entire day Blaine found his leg bouncing or his finger tapping on the desk. He kept staring at his phone or at the clock and constantly stopping between classes to wash his hands, which were sweating profusely.

When the last bell finally rang, he found himself once again in the bathroom, running cold water over his hands and psyching himself out in the mirror. That was where Wes and David and several other Warblers found him.

He looked up when he saw them and wheeled around with wide eyes. "I think I'm in love," he announced.

David stepped forward and smiled kindly, patting his shoulder, "Oookay, but we're not going to go with _that_."

"You're just going to ask him to be your boyfriend. That's it. He's going to sing with you. We," he gestured to the hodgepodge selection of the group that had crowded into the men's bathroom with them, "will be accompanying. Then, you're going to pop the question—"

"But!" David cut in again, "_Only_ the boyfriend question."

Wes agreed, "And then there'll be hugs and cheering, confetti will fall, then we'll all eat chocolate and dance with our dates. Pretty simple."

Blaine closed his eyes and shook slightly with a calming breath. "I'm so nervous!" he told them.

"Don't be," Wes commanded.

"Nothing can go wrong. We've got your back," David reminded him.

Blaine took another deep breath and smiled at them all, "Gah! Thank you guys so much for helping!"

"We're always happy to bring on the romance!" said one of the group, which they all agreed on, then they shooed themselves out of the restroom so they could finish preparing the senior commons for the event.

Decorations had been pulled together over the weekend. There were so many pink and red and white streamers and decorations, all adorned with hearts and roses, it would make Cupid himself nauseous. For the size of the room, they'd made an impressive dance floor by removing all the furniture and adding make-shift bleachers covered in white butcher paper at one end of the room. They'd even placed tables with hors d'oeuvres and a chocolate fountain around the edges of the floor.

The Warblers had managed to keep the whole thing down to a private, invitation only event. A few of the boys had invited girlfriends, but overall the expected turnout didn't far surpass that of the group that had been present at Breadstix that night after Sectionals.

As 3:55pm rolled around and a few dates began to arrive, Blaine stood in the middle of the room, hands together and pressed to his lips, surveying the room. One of the boys who didn't have a girlfriend, Trent, and also Nick showed up beside him and each lay a hand on his shoulder.

"What's wrong, Blaine?" Trent asked.

Blaine's eyes scanned wildly around at the heart-infested décor. "It's wrong… it's all wrong. Everything. I shouldn't be doing this. What was I thinking? He's not going to want to date me. I mean, look at me! Have you seen him? Oh my god…He's going to hate me. This was such a mistake. We need to take everything down before he gets here. I shouldn't have done this."

The two boys grabbed him firmly as he started to turn toward Wes with wild eyes.

"Blaine, you're ridiculous," Nick told him, smiling.

"You're amazing, Blaine. He's going to love you," Trent assured him, raising his eyebrows.

Blaine looked from one to the other and back again, nodding slowly. His hands were shaking. "What if he says no?" he whispered.

The two boys looked at each other. "Then we'll shank him!" Trent announced, rolling his eyes.

"Who are we shanking?" Thad asked, a few paces away.

Nick answered enthusiastically, "Kurt Hummel, if he doesn't accept our Blaine's undying love."

Everyone within earshot groaned and came over to give Blaine reassuring pats on the back. He felt pale and shaky and gross and wished he'd used more gel to make his hair a little straighter or maybe that they hadn't agreed to wear their blazers so he could be in something a bit more festive, and what would Kurt be wearing? What if Kurt hated him now or what if he was even more beautiful than ever but came walking in that door with his hand linked to some other guy who was better dressed—

4:00pm had passed. There were footsteps in the hall, and through the open doors of senior commons, the New Directions could be seen inching their way along, following the heart-trail on the floor. And… there he was. Blaine didn't know that he'd spent the past hour freaking out and doing touch ups with Mercedes and Tina that included full skin care, super quick manicure, facial, extra hairspray, and that he had four outfits in his car and had made them choose between them, then changed his mind twice. All Blaine could see was that that was Kurt, and that he was just as perfect as ever.

_"Okay, Blaine. Show-face!"_ he told himself shaking his head. He took a deep breath, and strolled to the open doorway, plucking a rose from a vase as he went. Time to be suave. Behind him, the Warblers were falling into their positions.

"Welcome, McKinley!" he said, smiling directly at Kurt, who was already a bit pink in the face.

"Whoa. Seriously, nice place you've got here," Puck said. An underclassmen had met them at the door and directed them where to leave their coats before they made their way to the hall. They were all looking around excitedly, and Blaine stepped back to invite them into the hall. They piled in, heading toward the dance floor area where the few guests were already standing. The Warblers had moved to the bleachers at the first sign of the New Directions and were set up to form a heart with an empty spot at the point. As they entered, Blaine grabbed the corner of Kurt's sleeve to hold him back. They greeted each other with a traded, "Hey," then Kurt's eyes went wide and he sucked in his lips, trying to hold back a smile as Blaine offered him the rose. He took it gingerly, and let himself be lead closer to the bleachers.

With a smile, Blaine walked to the point of the heart, still keeping Kurt close to him as he addressed the group, "On behalf of all of us, I'd like to wish everyone a happy Valentine's day! To begin tonight's entertainment, the Warblers and I have something we'd like to share with all of you." He took Kurt's hand, looking into his eyes. No turning back. "Kurt, I'd like you to sing with me."

Kurt's face turned bright red and he whipped his head around to look at Mercedes and Rachel, both of who were giving him enthusiastic thumbs up.

"W-What?" he stammered, "But… but, Blaine! I… I don't…"

"You know it," Blaine whispered. As if cued by his words, the lights half dimmed. Colored laser lights lit up all around the room and the first dramatic note sounded from the Warblers. Kurt's knees almost gave out before the first bar was through. He _did_ know this song. Blaine's hand was still holding his, his thumb was pressing into the back of Kurt's hand. He reached for the hand with the rose and held that too. Kurt was speechless.

Blaine started off the verse, "_Here we go again, I kinda want to be more than friends. So take it easy on me, I'm afraid you're never satisfied_…"

Kurt rolled his eyes and could feel his heartbeat pounding to the intensity in Blaine's gaze, but he took a breath came in exactly on time, "_Here we go again, we're sick like animals, we play pretend. You're just a cannibal and I'm afraid I won't get out alive…"_

Blaine joined him in harmony for the next line, _"No, I won't sleep tonight…"_

Kurt lost his composure to a giggle as Blaine whirled him around, breaking formation and tugging him to the middle of the room, taking over the first chorus. So this was why Mercedes had been drilling him for the past week to learn this ridiculous song. Here he'd thought she'd turned into Rachel when really it was this! … and here he was singing with Blaine! Every thought he'd had about this evening, every ounce of nervous energy that had been building up to this moment, it all disintegrated.

Just before, "_Say goodbye to my heart tonight," _Blaine touched Kurt's hip and guided him in close, whirling them both around, hips pressed together, before setting him free in the direction of his friends and rushing back into the heart-shaped formation just as it collapsed and the boys walked forward in a group, off the bleachers, around Blaine, slowly encircling the dance floor. Blaine started up the verse, "_Here we are again, I feel the chemicals kicking in. It's getting heavy and I wanna run and hide. I wanna run and hide."_

From where he stood by the New Directions, who were swaying and beginning to dance along, Kurt looked directly at Blaine and smiled, easily taking up the lines, "_I do it every time. You're killing me now!"_ he turned to point at Blaine, and Blaine pointed back, chiming in on, "_And I won't be denied by you, the animal inside of you…"_

The Warblers went in now for the chorus and grabbed partners from the crowd, those with dates went for their girlfriends, but the rest grabbed the ladies of the New Directions, sweeping them into their arms. Trent grabbed Mike Chang. Kurt and Blaine walked toward each other. Kurt's confidence had picked up incredibly, and he joined the chorus as it became a sweeping couple's dance around the room.

Blaine took Kurt's hands and watched his lips as they harmonized, "_Hush, hush, the world is quiet. Hush, hush, we both can't fight it. It's us that made this mess. Why can't you understand?"_

Kurt wondered if he should lean in. The heaviness in the air between them was intoxicating. He had never felt so hormonal before. Everything was confusing and wonderful and warm and he doubted it would ruin the song terribly if he just went for it and took a kiss.

But the choreography didn't allow it. The Warblers were backing away from their partners, including Blaine, who had taken over the song again and belted out, _"Whoa, I won't sleep tonight!"_

They quickly fell back into their heart-shaped formation on the bleachers. They'd practiced over the weekend to get the timing right, because as impressive as Blaine wanted to be romantically, showing off how good they were to the New Directions was also on the Warbler's list of Valentine's Day activities. They side-stepped gracefully as a unit through the chorus, much to the cheers of the members of the party.

Kurt had fallen silent. He knew he was swooning, standing there just a few feet from Blaine, directly between the Warblers and the New Directions, in the open space on the dance floor. The pulsing, dull lights were making him dizzy. That, or the throb of Cupid's arrow where it lodged in his heartstrings.

On the very last _"Oh, oh, I want some more," _Blaine stepped forward and took Kurt's hands again. "_What are you waiting for?"_ he sang, _"What are you waiting for?"_ He let go of one hand and pulled Kurt close again, pressing their hips together. Kurt gasped, for lack of a better reaction, and placed his free hand delicately on Blaine's shoulder. _"Say goodbye to my heart tonight…"_ Blaine finished the song, then he leaned in close to Kurt and whispered just under the die-out, "Can I kiss you?"

Kurt nodded once, and the soft pressure landed on his lips. His cheek was cupped in Blaine's palm and one of his own arms was dangling uselessly at his side. The rose almost slipped from his fingers. It only lasted for a second, but when Blaine pulled back there was cheering in the room, whooping and cat-calls. He waited for his sanity to roll back into place and he took a deep breath to still his heartbeat. In the absence of the pressure, his lips were pulling into a smile.

Blaine was grinning ear to ear and he laughed out a sigh, then smiled even bigger, going red in the face. His eyes were searching wildly for something to focus on, finally they landed back on Kurt and he smiled even broader.

Kurt's mind was racing, but everything he wanted was right there, smiling at him, and when their eyes locked, it came out as though it was part of his normal breathing pattern. "Date me."

Blaine's eyes widened, he bounced on his heels, and he nodded. "Yes. Yes! Yes!" he flung his arms around Kurt, and Kurt returned the embrace, mouth hanging open as though that was the only way he could remember to breath. He could smell that manly cologne that was in Blaine's hair gel, and he could smell the musky, delicious scent of Blaine's skin. He'd just been kissed! And he was hugging... he was hugging his _boyfriend! _Heart-shaped confetti was falling from the ceiling.

A wave of arms knocked into them, almost toppling them to the ground under the sheer weight that was the group hug. All of his friends were pulling at him, kissing his cheeks, slapping him on the back. Puck pressed their heads together and teased, "You moron!" before letting him go. Somehow he and Blaine were separated and congratulated individually. Kurt clutched the rose tightly, then gave it to Mercedes with a word of extreme gratitude for her part in the plan. Mentally he noted that no proposal would ever surpass this one. His standards would have to forever be lowered or he'd risk constant disappointment.

Over the excitement, the sound system was turned on and Whitney Houston's "I Wanna Dance with Somebody" blasted out. Kurt and Blaine were finally released and turned toward each other. Blaine held out a hand.

"Dance with me?" he asked.

Kurt took the hand gently, as though it was an illusion that could shatter at any moment, "So… boyfriends?" he asked, tentatively while everyone else went to pair up and dance or raid the tables.

Blaine smiled. "Boyfriends," he agreed. Kurt stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Blaine's neck again and buried his face in the boy's shoulder. Blaine's arms wrapped supportively around his back and he could feel Blaine's breath against his neck as they swayed with the music. "Happy Valentine's Day," Blaine whispered.

"You too," Kurt replied, grinning against the lapel of Blaine's blazer. He pulled back, and their lips met a second longer this time, leaning into each other, properly tasting the moment. Those were Blaine's lips against his, Blaine's soft, wonderful lips, whose touch made his body feel like it was simultaneously melting to the floor and becoming weightless and floating away. _This_ is what a kiss _should_ feel like. Kurt smiled despite himself.

Blaine felt Kurt's lips tug against his and opened his eyes to find the boy smiling, a beautiful, unrestrained smile that lit up his face. As the party escalated, then died down into slow-waltz classics, that smile never diminished. Every time Kurt's eyes met Blaine's, they would light up again and every feature would be flung back into a full state of euphoria. Blaine would never get tired of it. He wanted to be Kurt's Valentine forever.

* * *

><p><strong>AN**- Shorter, but more worthwhile? "Animal" is one of my favorite Klaine duets (even after the magic of "Perfect") so this was fun to write. Just for the record, I have a huge crush on Thad, so he's going to continue showing up. You've been warned. Have a great Valentine's Day! Hope all your wishes come true! I send my love. 3


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N**- Hmmm… if you're superstitious, this might not be your chapter? Another fanfic recommendation for those who are into fantasy and smut: "The Sidhe" by Chazzam. I got my flatmate reading it and we've just been flailing at each other. It's so SO good.

I had a lot of fun with the Valentine's Day chapter, and I know I'm going to have fun with the following chapter because it's starting to be high time for Regionals, but this is going to be the stressful one. Hope you enjoy it! I appreciate your continued reviews and support!

Also, can I just say HA! about the Valentine's episode of Glee? I totally called Karofsky's crush on Kurt. It was the only thing that made sense!

**EDIT: **I posted this chapter entirely too fast the first time, so I have since revised it.

* * *

><p><strong>Just Like the White Winged Dove<strong>

* * *

><p>Being official with Blaine was wonderful, except for the part where it was difficult to see each other every day.<p>

The party had dragged on late enough that it wasn't a good idea for Blaine to drive Kurt home and introduce himself to Burt and Carole as their son's new boyfriend. After that, things had been slightly crazy. Although they'd seen each other on Wednesday like always (this time, complete with the knowledge that they really were 100% together), Thursday they hadn't been able to get together at all. Between Warbler practice, which consisted mainly of taking down Tuesday's decorations, McKinley Glee club—which conveniently forgot to offer to help with said clean up—and school work, there simply wasn't time to be 'dating.'

So Kurt decided to invite Blaine over for Friday night dinner.

He broke the news to his father on Thursday evening after convincing Blaine to attend. They were standing together in the kitchen and Burt was trying to learn how to make a chocolate cherry torte. Kurt tasted the second attempt at the mousse and smiled. Burt acknowledged the approval with a cheer, then turned back to the recipe book to figure out what to do next.

Kurt leaned back against the counter and watched his dad. After a few moments of listening to Burt try to pronounce ingredient names he said, "I invited Blaine to join us for dinner tomorrow."

"Good," Burt replied immediately, "Maybe we'll have this thing done and he can be our guinea pig and tell me how I did, huh?"

"I'm sure it'll be great, Dad," Kurt smiled.

Burt looked up at him suspiciously, "How's that kid doing anyway? I haven't seen him for a while. You two are still… you're still friends, right? I know you keep getting coffee… Or are you—?"

Kurt's face lit up. He sucked in his lips and bounced just slightly. "Actually… we're dating!" he announced.

Burt's eyebrows shot up, "You are? You mean, just now?"

"We made it official on Valentine's Day…" he swayed a little bit.

"And by 'official' you mean…" Burt's eyes narrowed.

Kurt blushed at his dad and rolled his eyes. "I mean I asked him, officially, and he said yes. Or, actually, he pretty much asked. I just got confirmation." Burt waited. Kurt spread his arms and smiled, "We're boyfriends!"

It took a minute for Burt to process everything. He was standing in the kitchen making some fancy dessert that he'd never had any desire to learn how to make, with his one and only son, who was gay and he was totally and completely fine with that, but now he was being told that this same son had a boyfriend. A boyfriend. Someone who could make him happy and do things with him… and _do_ things with him. Burt had only met the boy once, how did he know if this guy would be kind and considerate and loving enough to take care of his son? Kurt was high maintenance! There was no denying that. What if this guy didn't know what he was getting into and broke his son's heart?

But Kurt looked happy. He was standing there, waiting for approval, and honestly, seeing him smile was Burt's greatest wish. He stepped forward and pulled his son into a hug. "I'm happy for you," he said. Kurt wrapped his arms tightly around his dad and hugged back. "He's gonna treat you right, isn't he?"

"Yes, Dad."

"…Okay."

Kurt stepped back, still holding on to his dad and looking him in the eyes, "Just promise not to be intimidating or anything when he comes over tomorrow, okay?"

"Hey! You know me. As long as he's decent, I'll be decent."

Kurt smiled, "I really like him."

"And I'm happy for you. From what I remember, he seems like a good guy, um… and all that stuff."

"He is! He's amazing. Did I tell you? For Valentine's day…" and he launched into a full description of the party two nights ago when Blaine had been his Fred Astaire and they'd danced all night. He left out the part about kissing, but Burt narrowly suspected something like that might have gone down. He was more than content to stand there and lick the mousse off the spoon and smile while his son went on about how perfect his new boyfriend was and forgot all about the torte. Kurt had been edgy and tight lipped for quite a while now, and it was just good to have his kid back, bubbling and enthusiastic, regardless of what had happened that Kurt wasn't telling him. It was just good to feel like he was part of his son's life again.

* * *

><p>Blaine spent the night freaking out. He'd met Burt before and thought he was an awesome guy. The way he accepted and supported Kurt was something Blaine envied. He knew he shouldn't worry too much since everything had been perfectly fine the last time he came over for dinner, but he and Kurt had been tentative back then. They'd only been just barely getting to know each other and didn't know where they stood. Blaine had never before had to stand in front of someone's dad and tell him that he was dating his son.<p>

And he was so nervous. He lay on his bed on his back, hugging a pillow to his chest and listening to one of the four P!NK songs the Warblers were considering for Regionals, on repeat, but he'd made no progress in memorizing it. He was going over scenarios in his head that involved shotguns and barking dogs and leering and poisoned beverages being slipped to him. He squeezed his eyes shut. His imagination was turning Burt Hummel into a Bond villain.

He was doing this for Kurt. He was doing it to make his beautiful boyfriend feel comfortable and to see him smile and to get to know his family. Besides, Blaine had met Finn, and he was a nice guy, and Carole would be there… although if he had to be honest, Carole scared him even more than Burt. From what he'd seen of Burt, Burt was like Kurt and preferred to be passive aggressive unless something was directly harming his son. Carole was much sharper than Finn, but she was likely where he got his tendency to just blurt out whatever was on his mind. She didn't hide her feelings and Blaine worried that if she didn't approve she'd just out and say it. The first time he'd met her she'd gone straight for a hug and then turned to Kurt and said, "Oh! He's cute, isn't he? Some eyebrows!" which had made Blaine self-conscious for the rest of the evening. He didn't want to be self conscious or nervous this time.

"So What" had just started playing again and he groaned and pulled the pillow over his face trying to drown out the "_Na na na nana na na na_." He'd just have to get through school on Friday and then get to the Hummel residence and… be himself. He would have to be himself. He wished he weren't suddenly so terrified of himself. He was a generally confident guy, and he knew Kurt liked him, and that should be enough, but parents! _Parents._

He and Kurt had kissed twice now. Well, twice on Valentine's Day and once just before Kurt got into his car after coffee on Wednesday. They'd all been short, innocent kisses, but they had felt amazing and right. Kissing meant they were together and they could do things like that now, but that carried with it the obligation of being the boyfriend. Regardless of how amazing Kurt was, or his smile, or the softness of his lips, or the wonderful pulse of heat he felt when their bodies just slightly collided, every attraction he felt just added to the list of reasons to be nervous around Kurt's family.

Blaine wanted to be the best boyfriend ever. He wanted to be suave and dapper and impressive for Kurt's parents. He just hoped he wouldn't do something stupid and screw it up.

* * *

><p>Friday evening came too fast. Blaine received texts from Kurt all day, telling him to dress both casually and formally and giving advice about his hair and topics of conversation. He hoped Kurt was just as nervous as he was and that his family wouldn't judge Blaine based solely on how much hair gel he used.<p>

He showed up at the Hummel residence just before 5 in a blue dress shirt and black tie—skipping the jacket so as to not look too stiff and formal—under his winter coat. He'd debated between slacks and jeans for ages before choosing the black slacks, and he'd spent an entire hour trying to get his hair perfect. He brought a large bouquet with him, but once he was standing outside the door he realized the flowers didn't necessarily make sense. He intended to give them to Carole, but then there was nothing to give Burt, and Burt was really the one to impress. It just added to the panicky and nervous feelings.

Thankfully that melted away when he knocked twice and Kurt immediately threw the door open.

Blaine gasped and smiled. Kurt was wearing a long, dark, fashionable sweater over tight white leggings and stylish ankle-high boots. His face was lit up with excitement, and Blaine could hardly contain himself over the way Kurt bounced slightly, hugged him, and then continued to bounce as he ushered him in. He took the time to revel in Kurt's enthusiasm and the delicious way that sweater fell over his hips. He looked directly into the soft green of Kurt's eyes and he was glad they were doing this. Not to jump ahead of himself, but he decided that if someday he decided to propose, _this_ would make _that_ a whole lot easier.

It became apparent very quickly that Kurt had planned and positioned everyone, because the whole family was seated awkwardly, side-by-side on the couch, staring at the muted TV where an infomercial about a juicer was playing. They stood all at once when Kurt began the introduction after taking Blaine's coat and hanging it up.

"Everyone? This is Blaine. Blaine?" and he went along and introduced everyone one by one, saving his dad for last. Blaine smiled broadly and shook everyone's hand in what he hoped was a perplexingly polite manner. He greeted Finn, then shook Carole's hand and gave her the flowers. She accepted and then held them awkwardly. Last, Blaine shook Burt's hand, recievings a very tight squeeze and a firm look.

It was weird. They'd all already met, and it had been so much less formal the first time. Before, Burt and Carole had answered the door when Kurt and Blaine walked up together and they'd shook hands and moved inside. This time, everyone had big fake smiles plastered on and Kurt looked anticipatory, but pleased with himself.

After the introductions were through, Kurt took Blaine's hand and it felt like a safety net or a life preserver. "And now, for the announcement you've all been waiting for… Blaine and I are dating!" Kurt announced excitedly.

No one actually seemed surprised by this announcement, but they were congratulatory anyway. "We're so happy for you both," Carole said, sweetly, then nipped off to put the flowers in water.

Burt patted Blaine on the shoulder, "Yeah, we're glad to hear you're making my boy happy."

Blaine looked over at Kurt. Kurt was positively beaming, and it made it impossible not to smile back. Blaine tried to maintain the gentlemanly demeanor, "Thank you. Sorry I didn't come introduce myself to you properly…earlier."

Burt shrugged, "Hey. Don't sweat it. It's not like you two are getting engaged or anything. I hope. You don't need my permission to date my son." He paused for a second and then added, "You just need _his_ permission."

"He has it," Kurt immediately assured them both and squeezed Blaine's hand. Blaine leaned his shoulder against Kurt's feeling blissful but still panicked at the same time.

Unfortunately, Kurt didn't linger long. As soon as Carole came back into the room, Kurt steered everyone to the couch and left Blaine sitting on the edge of it with Carole and Burt surrounding him, and Finn on the far edge of the couch. Then he announced he had a few things he needed to see to concerning dinner and headed to the kitchen, leaving Blaine alone after another squeeze of the hand.

Very sneaky.

Blaine felt awkward sitting there, barely letting himself touch the couch let alone sit comfortably on it. Carole was facing him and entirely too close and Burt was in the chair on the other side of him, watching his every move. But he was Kurt's boyfriend. He could do this… he just didn't know what to say.

"So!" Burt started off after a few moments, but then fell silent.

Carole picked it up, "So you and Kurt met after Sectionals?"

Blaine blushed. That seemed like a long time ago now. He'd been so smitten from the very first time he heard Kurt sing. He managed a soft, "Yes, we met at Sectionals."

"That's nice," Carole tried. "And you go to Dalton?" Everyone seemed uncomfortable. Finn was sitting with his hands between his knees, staring at the floor like he had no idea what he was even doing there. Technically they'd already talked about all these basic things the first time Blaine had been over.

Maybe Burt sensed his discomfort or maybe he was uncomfortable himself, because he leaned forward and cut in, "Come on! We already know he goes to that private school. Now, I know I promised Kurt not to do any scary dad stuff—"

"Burt," Carole warned.

Burt continued, "—But you are my son's first boyfriend, so you treat him right, okay?"

Blaine nodded, shaken, "Of course! Absolutely. He's…ah… safe with me." He knew it sounded lame before he said it.

Burt nodded and leaned back into his chair. "Good."

"Kurt's… Kurt's my first…boyfriend… first _real_ boyfriend too," Blaine mentioned. Burt gave him a side-long glance.

"Well…good. You two can just… take it slow then." There was entirely too much emphasis on the last part and Blaine could feel his face growing warmer.

"Do the two of you have any plans for this weekend?" Carole asked after silence had fallen for several minutes. Something was making noise in the kitchen or the dining room, but Blaine didn't want to look desperate for salvation by straining his neck to see. They didn't have plans, none that he could remember making, and now it felt like the most important thing. He _should_ know what they were doing. He should have made a list of all the questions that he could possibly be asked and he should have come up with multiple valid responses for each. What if he just made up a date, like going to a movie, and Kurt didn't want to go? Or what if it was a trick question and they already knew that Kurt was unavailable? _"Just be yourself,"_ he reminded himself.

"We haven't really made any plans for this weekend yet," he admitted. Carole raised her eyebrows and nodded.

"Let's see if the game is on," Burt tried, starting for the remote, but Kurt walked back into the room at that exact moment. Blaine wanted to leap to his feet and bound into his arms and curl up and be safe, but he kept his butt planted on the couch.

"Actually, there is a movie out today that we might possibly consider seeing, but not right now," he snatched the remote away from his father and turned the muted TV off. "Right now I'd like you all to join me in the dining room, as dinner is served."

"Good!" Burt hoisted himself up. "What're we having?"

Kurt began to explain the meal and the details as to how it was healthy but still delicious, but Blaine didn't find himself caring. He was focused on how Kurt took his arm and guided him to the dining room, setting him down so they were side by side and smiling at him the whole while. Everything was laid out on the table and immediately the family began to dig in.

As soon as their plates were heaped with food, the conversation became easier, and even exciting when football was brought up and Blaine felt especially confident with joining in. Burt gave him a look like they were going to get along just fine after he voiced his enthusiastic opinions about that year's college football season. Kurt rolled his eyes, but he was smiling fondly.

* * *

><p>After dinner was over, they headed to Kurt's room after a warning of "No hanky-panky!" from Burt. Kurt laced his fingers through Blaine's. He wasn't exactly sure what he intended to do once Blaine was <em>in<em> his room. They hadn't even dared to venture there the last time Blaine had been over, but it seemed like the proper etiquette to show your boyfriend where you slept at night. Or maybe that wasn't proper etiquette at all?

Blaine felt just as unsure. Every hormone in his body was screaming at him to shut the door behind him and pounce as he followed Kurt into the tidiest, trendiest room he could have imagined—almost straight out of a magazine. He desperately wanted to lock them in and grab Kurt by the waist and kiss him until his knees gave out and then lift him up, carry him to the bed, lay him down and go straight at it again. He'd trail kisses down Kurt's neck, he'd run his fingers along Kurt's impeccable waistline and carefully pull that sweater off up over Kurt's hips, then his chest and head and then… … … but they definitely hadn't gotten that far yet. He felt himself flush and his loins tighten. He kicked himself for even thinking about it.

Honestly, beyond holding hands and letting Blaine plant a very tiny kiss on his lips after coffee, Kurt was a bit shy and reluctant when it came to physical interactions. Even considering the incident with Karofsky, which they'd discussed at length, it surprised Blaine how embarrassed Kurt seemed to be about intimacy. He didn't want to make Kurt feel uncomfortable with him, so he forced his body to acknowledge the memo not to close the door as he entered the room and he made himself let go of Kurt's hand. He needed to reign in his raging, hormonal sex drive until Kurt was ready to explore that far. He was definitely worth that.

Kurt gestured to the room, "So this is my room…"

Blaine snapped himself into the current situation. "It's incredible! All your own design, I'm sure?"

"Naturally!" Kurt sat down daintily on the bed, and Blaine sat down beside him, leaving enough space between them to not make Kurt feel crowded. They looked each other in the eye. "Thank you for coming tonight," Kurt whispered.

"Thank you for having me," he whispered back, then he added, "Boyfriend."

Kurt crinkled his nose and smiled. "Boyfriend," he echoed. He leaned in and tilted his head slightly.

Blaine took the hint and leaned in also, pressing his lips to Kurt's. After a breath through the nose, Blaine moved his lips to better catch Kurt's and he reached up and placed his hand on Kurt's shoulder to turn his body toward him when Kurt flinched. Blaine pulled away and dropped his hand. Kurt was averting his eyes.

"Sorry," Blaine breathed.

Kurt shook his head, "No. No, it's okay… it was nice, I just…no… I… I don't really… I mean, I never…"

Blaine looked down at Kurt's hand. It was curled into a fist on his knee. He lay his hand gently over the top of it. "Kurt," Kurt looked up at him. "It's okay. I understand. We're taking it slow, right?"

Kurt sucked in his lips and then turned over his hand to link his fingers between Blaine's. "Sorry," Kurt said again, then elaborated. "I'm just not… very good with the whole… you know…" he dropped his voice below a whisper, "physical…stuff."

Blaine couldn't help but smile. Kurt was red to his ears. He murmured Kurt's name, trying not to sound amused. He'd deduced as much.

Kurt continued, "I tried understanding the whole… the whole…um… sex thing. You know with… those… ah…you know…and online. But I just get really uncomfortable… and depressed. I mean, they all have mothers—"

"Kurt," Blaine cut in, "Kurt, you don't have to feel pressured into anything. At all. I'd never…"

"I know!" Kurt assured him, but then he got quiet and looked away again, "I don't want to be weird, I just thought I should say it… now… before anything…"

"Okay."

"I… I watch musicals. I like romance…"

Blaine squeezed his hand, "Then I'll have to try to be romantic." He nudged Kurt with his shoulder, "Don't expect too much though. I think I put the 'hopeless' in 'hopeless romantic.'" He laughed softly.

Kurt smiled, not making eye contact. "You _are_ romantic…" he murmured.

Blaine's eye had already caught something and he was on his feet, releasing Kurt's hand and crossing the room. He stood in front of Kurt's sound system and he looked back with excitement before Kurt rolled his eyes and nodded. Blaine picked up Kurt's iPod and started scrolling through it.

Just as "Buenos Aires" came rumbling through the speakers, Finn popped his head into the room. He glared narrowly over at Blaine, whose back was still turned, and spoke to Kurt. "What're you two up to?"

Blaine turned around, surprised. "Music!" he announced.

Kurt smiled tartly at Finn. "Nothing. Were you sent to spy?"

"Ye-…No."

Kurt raised both hands. "No hanky-panky," he pointed out. Blaine caught on and raised both hands too from across the room.

"Right," Finn acknowledged, but he walked in and sat down on the very edge of Kurt's bed anyway. "So… dinner was pretty awesome."

"You're a really bad spy, Finn," Kurt pointed out. Then he glanced over at Blaine. His expression had become suddenly devious. "Unless you're here because you'd like a little extra insight into the situation you don't want to talk about concerning Rachel."

Blaine came over and sat back down next to Kurt on the opposite side from Finn. "Oh yeah, I heard about that…"

Finn stood up as Blaine sat down. "Well it's none of either of your guy's business, okay?" he stormed out.

Kurt raised his eyebrows. "That was both effective and disappointing."

Blaine was surprised at Finn's sudden burst of anger. All he knew so far was that Rachel had been dumped. "So you still don't know what happened?"

"Not at all, but until he decides to open up, it's a very good way to gain privacy… for us."

"For us?" Blaine repeated, and Kurt just smiled. Blaine bit his lower lip then said, "So… I could kiss you now, or I could start this song over and lead while we dance the night away."

Kurt blushed and pressed his fist to his lips to stifle a giggle before asking, "May I have both options in that order?"

Blaine leaned in, touched Kurt's cheek with the tips of his fingers, and kissed him softly. "You may," he answered, kissing him again before standing up to restart the song.

Kurt's stomach flopped as he swooned before getting up and following Blaine to the most open space on the floor, singing along the moment the lyrics started.

* * *

><p>They danced to several songs, from sensual latin music straight into a romantic waltz and a two step, then sat for two hours on the edge of Kurt's bed discussing men's fashion. Around 10:00pm Blaine decided it would be prudent to go home. They didn't want to start making Burt nervous and suspicious this early in their relationship, and Kurt didn't want his father staying up late, which he knew he would if Blaine stayed longer. They agreed to meet and hang out the following day.<p>

Once goodbyes and invitations to "visit any time" had been said and Blaine left, Kurt said goodnight to his family. He wanted to be extra thorough with his nightly routine so he would look his best for Blaine the following day.

Finn followed him upstairs. After pretending for a moment not to notice, Kurt felt obligated to stop in his own doorway and wait for his step-brother to speak.

Finn took a long time to formulate his words. Finally he said, "You know… Regionals are coming up."

Kurt narrowed his eyes, "I was aware."

"They're coming right up pretty soon…"

"Unless you're offering me a solo, I'm going to start getting ready for bed now."

"Wait," Finn stepped forward, then looked behind him down the stairs where they could hear that the TV was still on. "I just… want to be sure Blaine's not using you to give the Warbler's an unfair advantage."

Kurt rolled his eyes and slipped through the doorway, "Okay. I'm _not_ listening to this."

Finn caught the door and stepped inside also before Kurt could stop him. "I'm serious. I'm looking out for you!"

"No," Kurt replied, "You're trying to ruin my relationship. Blaine is not a spy."

"You remember what happened with Jesse St James…"

"Finn. We've been over this. Blaine is _not_ Jesse St James. What is wrong with you?"

Finn all but stomped his foot before crossing to Kurt's computer chair, straddling it, and tapping his fingers nervously against the back. "I just don't want anything to happen that could compromise the group, you know?"

Kurt shut the door. All the happy, bubbly feelings he'd been having earlier in the evening felt like they were being trampled. "Oh? You mean 'compromise' like breaking Rachel's heart for no foreseeable reason and then moping around for a week pretending to be sick?"

Finn shot him a dirty look, "I have not been—"

"Yes you have. _You're_ moody and _she's_ upset. What you did to her was really cruel and now you refuse to even talk about it! We're supposed to be brothers. You're supposed to be able to tell me _why_, and frankly you owe Rachel an explanation. She still doesn't know why you broke up with her."

"I don't want to talk about that, okay?" Finn shouted, startling Kurt.

"Yeah, well, _that's_ what's compromising the New Directions, Finn. Not me. Not Blaine."

"Don't talk to me like you know what's going on!" Finn was standing now. Kurt stepped back.

"I _don't_ know what's going on, Finn. That's the problem!" Kurt snapped back.

"I don't want you to see him anymore, Kurt!"

Kurt raised both eyebrows. "Well I'm seeing him tomorrow and sorry, but you're not going to stop me." They stood staring at each other for several minutes, then Kurt moved away from the door. "I think you should go now," he said.

Finn sat back down. "Kurt…"

"No. You're angry, and that's fine, but until you get your own problems sorted out you're not allowed to tell me my business. I like Blaine and he likes me and you don't get a say."

After a few seconds, Finn finally stood up. He walked slowly to the door and placed his hand on the knob, then stopped. "Okay. You're right. Maybe… maybe I should talk to Rachel. But I really don't think… Kurt… I don't think you should be spending so much time with a member of the rival team. At least until after Regionals."

"Blaine isn't a threat, Finn," Kurt reminded him.

Finn opened the door and stepped out, leaving Kurt with a, "Yeah, sure."

Kurt stood still for a long time before he finally steadied himself and went to his moisturizing routine. Before he did, however, he turned on his iPod and scrolled to Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream."

"Blaine isn't like Jesse," Kurt said to himself, trying to rid it of the suspicion that Finn had purposefully implanted.

His cellphone buzzed. The message was from Blaine and read, _Hey there, beautiful. Can't wait to see you tomorrow. Good night!_

Kurt texted back _Can't wait! Goodnight!_ before repeating the assurance over in his head.

* * *

><p><strong>AN**- I secretly enjoy giving Blaine a wild and somewhat romantic (coughhornycough) imagination. Stay tuned for the trials of Regionals next chapter!


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N-** This all boils down to an excuse to use a certain song originally sung by The Partridge Family. Just go with it.

* * *

><p><strong>Just Like the White Winged Dove<strong>

* * *

><p>"Finn thinks we shouldn't see each other anymore till after Regionals," Kurt said casually during lunch with Blaine on Saturday.<p>

"What? What makes him think that?"

Kurt spun an ice cube around in his diet coke with his straw. "Have I ever mentioned Jesse St James to you?"

Blaine pursed his lips. "Is he someone I should worry about?"

"What? No!" Kurt looked up in alarm and then laughed. "No! Blaine, no. He was Rachel's ex-boyfriend."

"Mmm. Okay." Blaine smiled fondly at Kurt. He liked it when Kurt laughed. He'd like spending the day with him. They'd already had coffee and talked, walked around down town Lima and talked, now they were having lunch and talking, and would soon be going shopping for the rest of the afternoon before catching the new Meryl Streep movie that night. He loved that they never ran out of things to say, that they had so many interests in common, that he never had to guess what Kurt was thinking about because it always came up sooner or later in full detail, and that every time Kurt smiled, Blaine could feel a tingle run through his body down to his fingertips that left him feeling completely euphoric.

"Well anyway. Jesse turned out to be a spy from Vocal Adrenaline."

"Oh. _Those_ guys," Blaine nodded. Kurt had seemed reserved all morning, and Blaine was glad it was all finally coming up, but he wished it didn't have to do with Glee. When he was with Kurt, being a Warbler just wasn't important to him. He'd rather be 100% Kurt's boyfriend than his competition.

"And he basically tried to destroy us from the inside. Multiple times."

Blaine tilted his head to the side, finally catching on. "And… you're worried I might be trying to do the same thing?"

"I'm not!" Kurt clarified quickly, "Just Finn is. I'm sure it has more to do with what happened with Rachel than anything else."

"You never found out what that was?"

"No. He doesn't want to talk about it. And Rachel's gone especially crazy lately."

"Do you think that this Jesse St James has to do with it?"

Kurt smiled. "Probably not. Directly at least."

Blaine considered in silence, then decided to ask, "Kurt? What if I was a," he searched for the word, "…threat, to the New Directions? Would you hate me? Leave me… and all that?"

Kurt narrowed his eyes and smirked. He raised his glass as though symbolically and shrugged. "Don't go breakin' my heart?"

Blaine couldn't keep himself from smiling. Kurt's innocent, pouty expression was tugging at the corner of Blaine's lips. "I couldn't if I tried," He replied with a grin. Then he was lost to a small fit of giggles which made Kurt blush and smile as well. Blaine reached for Kurt's hand and held it until their food arrived.

* * *

><p>On Monday in Glee club Rachel raised her hand and then didn't wait to be called on before calling out, "Mr. Schue? I think that for Regionals this year we should do original songs!"<p>

"What?" was the general reaction from most of the club.

"Rachel, we've been working really hard on the setlist already, starting over from scratch at this point will set us way back. Besides, none of you have any song writing experience."

"That's not true at all, Mr. Schue!" Rachel said and launched into the history of her past song writing seminars and attempts.

"Hey wait! What makes you think we can even learn new songs like that at this point? Regionals aren't that far away," Puck cut in.

"To be fair, we've learned whole new routines in less than an hour before a competition," Tina said. Rachel beamed at her.

"I don't know, you guys. It's a good suggestion, Rachel, but we should stick to what we know so we can beat the Warblers."

This time Quinn raised her hand and cleared her throat. Everyone turned to look at her, "Mr. Schue, if I may? I actually think Rachel has a point." Everyone frowned and a few gaped. "Writing our own songs would be completely unexpected and would give us the edge. It could be exactly what we need to win. In fact, I nominate Rachel as song writer." She smiled sweetly and everyone went from staring at Quinn to staring at Rachel, who was just as dumbfounded before it sunk in and her face alighted with joy.

Mercedes sighed, "Well if those two can agree about it, then I'm in." Kurt shrugged and agreed with her.

Then Finn spoke up. "No. No! Now isn't the time for this. We can't just throw everything away and hope that Rachel's going to be able to write a good enough song to beat the Warblers."

"Excuse me?" Rachel snapped, more hurt than anything.

Santana snapped her fingers, "Hey! Hey! Mr. Schue, can I just ask something?"

"Yes, Santana?"

"Why does Finn even get a vote? I'm not saying I'm on board with letting Berry ruin everything for us, but as far as I can tell, Finn, here, has been blowing us off all week because of his own little, bitchy issues." She turned to him, "Do you even know what songs we're proposing for the setlist? Were you there to talk about choreography? Or were you wiping your nose on your jacket sleeve on a bench in the locker rooms while contemplating your own pathetic existence?"

"Santana!" Schuester scolded.

"Sorry, but for calling himself the 'leader,' he really hasn't been around much. I just don't think he should get a say in whether or not we do original songs."

Schuester sighed and then shrugged. "She has a point, Finn. You haven't been pulling your weight around here, so I think it's only fair that I let the rest of the group make this decision."

Finn looked like he was going to punch something, then he took a deep breath. "Fine. But I don't think Kurt should be in on this decision either."

Kurt raised his eyebrows. "Ex_cuse_ me?"

"What's Kurt done wrong?" Puck asked, leaning forward to better see the boy in question.

"Now that Kurt's dating Blaine—" Finn started. There was a groan from the group.

"_Please_ can we not go into that again?" Quinn rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, Finn, we sort of already dealt with the whole 'Blaine-isn't-Jesse-St-James' thing months ago," Artie reminded him.

"Wait… Blaine's a saint?" Brittney asked Santana.

"We all like Blaine, and Kurt's a part of this group, Finn," Mercedes said, "He gets a vote."

"I don't care!" Finn stood up. "Don't you think that with Regionals coming up so fast and everything riding on this performance that we shouldn't risk _anything_ that could give the Warblers an unfair advantage?"

"Advantage like how?" Schuester asked.

"Yeah, what're you talking about, Finn?" Tina asked, gently.

"Why are you doing this?" Kurt asked. He was turning red just from holding back how angry this whole discussion was making him. What the hell was Finn's problem with Blaine? Blaine had never done anything to make any of them think he was plotting against them. In fact, he'd gone out of his way to be polite and kind and generous toward the New Directions. The Warblers had hosted not one, but two parties for them now. Based on behavior alone, _they_ should be wondering if the New Directions were playing dirty, not the other way around. Kurt sort of wished he had it in him to punch Finn.

"I'm not saying Blaine is necessarily a spy—"

"It sounds like you are," Quinn said tartly.

"—But what if we decide to do original songs and Blaine finds out? How can we trust him to keep from mentioning it to the Warblers?"

"Oh come on, they practically volunteered _their_ setlist to us on Valentine's Day," Santana reminded everyone.

"What do we even know about these guys anyway?" Finn continued to push.

"Uh, they're hot and they're actually nice people," Santana shot a look up at Finn, "Unlike _some_ of us."

"All I'm saying is that until Regionals are over we shouldn't be…" he struggled to find a term, "… Getting in bed with the enemy!"

Kurt stood up, knocking his chair over, and shouted, "_No one_ is getting in _bed_ with _anyone_! What is your _problem_, Finn?"

Finn was already storming out and before he could help himself, Kurt kicked over the chair in front of him and then sat down on the riser, arms crossed. Everyone was staring at him and he was furious and embarrassed and felt like he was going to cry. He barely heard Schuester say, "Um… let's take 5, guys." before he was getting up, grabbing his bag, and storming out the door. Mercedes followed after him.

"Kurt," she said softly once they'd gotten to the hall and he slowed down to figure out where he was going to storm off to. "You _know_ none of us think Blaine's a spy." When Kurt didn't say anything she continued. "We're all really happy you're with him, Kurt."

"Finn's not," Kurt pointed out.

"You know that whatever's bothering him has nothing to do with this. He's just taking it out on you…"

"Well I wish he wouldn't," Kurt snapped. Then he realized he shouldn't be mad at Mercedes. He gave her an apologetic look and let her pull him into a hug. "It's just… it feels like Blaine's the best thing that's ever happened to me and Finn's trying to ruin that. He's trying to turn the dream into a nightmare."

"It doesn't have to be a nightmare, Kurt. But… you know, maybe you can just… take things slow with Blaine until Regionals are over."

"What?"

"Just so there's nothing Finn can worry about."

Kurt pushed himself away from her, "Please don't be on _his_ side, Mercedes…"

"Kurt," she glared at him, "I'm not. You know I approve of Blaine, I think he's great and would never spy on us, I just think maybe to keep down the in-fighting…"

Kurt was shaking his head, "I can't believe this."

Puck showed up at exactly that moment with an enthusiastic, "Hey! I know I can't tell time or anything, but I'm pretty sure five minutes are kinda up by now. Let's get in there and vote on our own destruction!" He grabbed Kurt by the shoulder and steered him back toward the choir room. Mercedes followed behind.

"_You_ don't think Blaine's a spy, do you Puck?" Kurt asked softly.

"Not here to judge, just here to look pretty," Puck said, batting his eyelashes and planting Kurt down in a seat that hadn't been overturned and then heading to sit at the opposite side of the room.

Kurt sat limply with his arms crossed over his lap. They ended up voting 'yes' to original songs and arranging to work overtime on songwriting that week. However, it was clear that Finn had gotten to some of them because they also voted that Kurt should ease off on seeing Blaine for the next two weeks. They decided Kurt could only see him in the context of double dates, so that there could always be someone to supervise their conversations and keep anything from leaking. They decided that this was the best way for everyone to be sure that Blaine was definitely not out to get them. Kurt felt defeated. His own friends couldn't even just be happy for him now that he was finally in this relationship he'd worked so hard for, and all because his brother was having a bitch-fit and had to drag him down too. All he wanted to do was text Blaine asking for help, but the club had also suggested that he let Mercedes see his texts every day so that nothing slipped by.

As soon as the meeting was over, he went straight to his car, crawled into the back seat, and tried not to cry. After a few minutes of fighting with himself, he called Blaine.

_"Kurt! Hi! I'm so glad you called! How was your day?"_

"Miserable…" Kurt mumbled.

_"What's wrong?"_

"I'm not supposed to see you anymore."

_"…What?"_

Kurt breathed deeply but it came out as a sniff and a shudder. "The New Directions decided that on the off-chance you're a spy, I can't be alone with you anymore until after Regionals."

_"Kurt… but…that…"_

"It's just so stupid! We haven't done _anything_ wrong and now everyone is just…" tears were sliding from his eyes, down his cheeks, and he couldn't stop them. He reached forward over the front seat, into the glove box for a packet of tissues.

_"Kurt…"_

"Can you come over?"

_"Yes. Where are you?"_

"I'm… in the parking lot… at McKinley. I just need to see you."

_"I'll be right there."_

* * *

><p>When Blaine arrived he found Kurt's car and pulled up next to it. The parking lot was mostly cleared out. Inside, Kurt had forced himself to stop crying, but as soon as Blaine tapped on the window, he could feel the emotions welling up again.<p>

Blaine opened the door and climbed into the backseat with Kurt. He slid over till he was right beside his boyfriend and pulled him closer. He wrapped an arm around the boy's shoulders, and ran his fingers through his hair, pulling Kurt's face into the crook of his neck and kissing the top of his head. Kurt clung to him and sobbed, then apologized for crying onto Blaine's blazer. "I don't want to ruin it," he mumbled, tears still falling. Blaine readjusted, pulled off his blazer, tossed it into the front seat, and then wrapped his arms around Kurt again. This time Kurt held a tissue over his face and let himself cry against his boyfriend.

After a few minutes of holding onto each other in silence, Blaine whispered, "I don't understand why we can't be together…"

"Not _be_ together," Kurt clarified, "They're fine with us _being_ together. They just don't want us to _see_ each other. But it's not fair! I _want_ to see you. I want to see you all the time. We worked so hard for this and now I'm finally _with_ you and it's not fair!"

"Aren't they your friends? Can't you talk to them?"

Kurt took a deep breath, "I tried. Finn got them all thinking I'd leak our secrets to you and you'd use them to win."

"But I wouldn't do that…"

"I know! It's stupid…"

"It wouldn't be right if the Warblers didn't beat you guys fair and square after all," Blaine said, squeezing Kurt slightly, hoping it would make him laugh or get defensive. Kurt didn't seem to find it funny. He just dug his fingers into the fabric of Blaine's shirt. Blaine leaned his head against Kurt's. "Maybe I should talk to Finn."

Kurt sat up suddenly. "No!" His face was red and his eyes were puffy, but all Blaine wanted to do was kiss him, runny nose and all. "No, you can't confront Finn. If this really is about Jesse St Stupid-head then he'll just get flashbacks and think it's happening all over again. Everyone's all ready to believe him…"

"So what can I do? Kurt… I don't want to lose you over Glee club!"

Kurt blew his nose. "Glee is important to me."

"It's important to me too," Blaine reminded him. It felt like someone was wrapping their fingers around his heart and squeezing it slowly. "But _my_ Glee club doesn't have a problem with us being together. I don't understand what's going on, Kurt. It's two weeks till Regionals. I had to wait two months just to… to _kiss_ you. I don't want to spend the next two weeks without being able to even see your face." He reached out and touched Kurt's cheek. It was cold and wet from where the tears.

"We can still… they said it's okay if we go on double dates…"

"What? So we have to be supervised?"

Kurt was crying again, "I know it's terrible…"

"It _is_ terrible! Kurt… I'd love to go on double dates with your friends, and I want them to feel like they can trust me, and I want _you_ to trust me more than anything…"

"I _do_," Kurt whispered.

"But I don't want to be on probation because of something some other guy did to someone I barely know!"

"I know, Blaine."

"And I don't like feeling like I can't do something to make this right, because it _should_ be right. We shouldn't have to have these rules just to date each other!" Blaine could feel himself flushing. He visualized walking right up to Finn, pulling the giant down to his level and punching him in the face until he punched the problem right out of him. He was definitely angry, but he didn't want Kurt to think he was taking it out on him, not when he was clearly upset about it too. He leaned forward so his forehead touched the back of the front seat. "What am I supposed to do, Kurt? Please, tell me!"

"Can you just hold me?" Blaine looked up to see that Kurt had moved away from him slightly. He was leaning against the door, his legs pulled up onto the seat so he looked small and fragile. The grip on Blaine's heart seemed to shatter.

"Of course…" Blaine turned in the seat, and leaned toward Kurt, gathering him into a hug, which Kurt fell straight into. Blaine kissed the top of Kurt's head, then pulled back and placed his thumb on Kurt's chin, guiding him into a kiss, which Kurt returned before collapsing back onto Blaine's chest. Blaine readjusted them both so he was partly lying back with Kurt curled up to the side with his head and chest on top of him.

"Just… just _be_ here for now," Kurt murmured. His voice was shaking, but he'd stopped crying. "I promise I'll figure out what to do about everything else, but right now… I just want to be with you."

Blaine wrapped his arms securely around his boyfriend's torso. "You don't have to figure it out on your own, Kurt."

"I can, though. I can do this. You don't need to worry…"

Blaine sighed. "I _do_ worry. I _will_. I know youcan handle anything, Kurt, but you aren't alone." Kurt remained silent, but his fingers that had been stroking the material of Blaine's tie stopped moving. "I know you feel like you've been alone, and like you should handle everything by yourself, but you don't have to. You have me. I can help too. I'll do everything I can to convince them that we can be together, that I'm not…not _using_ you…"

"Blaine…"

"We'll never talk about Glee, or Regionals, or anything else ever again…"

"Blaine…" Kurt propped his chin on Blaine's chest and was looking up at him now, eyebrows knit together.

Blaine shook his head, "I just care so much about you, Kurt. I want to be here for you."

Kurt was silent for a moment, staring at Blaine's chin and the contours of his face. He could get used to the view from Blaine's chest and the firm, warm arms that were wrapped around him. He didn't want to lose this. "Thank you," he murmured.

Blaine settled back against the seat, then looked down at Kurt. Kurt was looking up at him and it made him smile. "Can I kiss you?" he asked.

Kurt nodded and let himself be moved as Blaine sat up and pressed their lips together firmly.

He kissed Kurt twice, the second time parting his lips and taking Kurt's lower lip between his, encouraging his mouth to open. Kurt gasped but didn't pull away, so Blaine sucked slightly before releasing Kurt's lip. Kurt's hand touched his cheek and Blaine leaned further into the kiss. Kurt took control and caught Blaine's upper lip and pressed against it before letting Blaine gently pull back.

They breathed deeply, in sync, and stared at one another. Kurt's eyes were still red from crying, but his cheeks were newly flushed. Blaine's pupils were dilated and made his eyes look enormous and dark. Kurt could feel his hormones kick in and was suddenly aware of every place their bodies were touching and how close and intimate the space they were in was. All he wanted was to have his lips pressed back against his boyfriend's. He willed his eyes to look as amazing as Blaine's. "I care about you too," he breathed.

Blaine leaned forward and touched their lips together, but hesitated immediately. His eyes darted away from Kurt for an instant, and he smirked against Kurt's lips. "We've fogged up the windows."

Kurt glanced at the window behind Blaine's head and immediately burst into tiny giggles. He turned his head and bit his lip to keep the giggles in. He wiped his cheek again because he felt ridiculous looking weepy and laughing at the same time.

Blaine was grinning. He was so relieved to see Kurt laugh, and he felt so amazing, so important in his boyfriend's life. He leaned back against the seat and immediately his eyes rolled back in his head with pleasure as Kurt nested his head against his shoulder. He leaned against Kurt's hair, which was messed up and added to the disheveled look that Kurt was now sporting. It definitely succeeded in turning Blaine on. He didn't even care why he was there, or that it was already starting to get darker out, because sitting there with his arms around Kurt in the back of that car, and he'd never felt more at home.

* * *

><p>Kurt's mood had improved considerably come Tuesday. Making out with Blaine in the back of his car, and getting home late, looking like a wreck in all the best ways played no small part in his general happiness. He walked into Glee club that day with a bounce in his step and a smile on his face.<p>

That all dissolved when he found the entire club waiting for him. Mercedes got up and walked over to shut the door behind him.

"What's going on?" Kurt asked, clinging to his shoulder bag as though it was some kind of barrier between him and their stern looks.

"We need to talk…" Artie started off.

"I promise, we're not saying this because we don't love you," Tina added quickly.

"You were… kinda spotted in a car with that Blaine guy yesterday afternoon," Sam explained, then added, "For like, several hours."

Puck shook his head, "Not cool dude…"

"What?"

"You can't deny it," Santana told him. "You called him, he drove up in his shiny prep-boy car, and you smooched till long after the windows fogged over. We have proof. Earlier today we even took bets on whether or not you're still a virgin." She shrugged. "I say yes. He's cute but it doesn't look like he has it in him to pop your gay cherry."

Kurt tried to speak but he couldn't get anything out.

"Can't believe you'd do that…" Mike Chang mumbled.

"W-wha—?" Kurt stammered, "I…I can't believe you guys would…"

"Hey! Whoa! Time out!" Santana cut in. Kurt noticed Finn was sitting in the back of the room staying quiet. "You remember yesterday how I was all in favor of your little disastrous relationship with the dreamboat a capella boy? I even voted against stalking you twenty-four seven, partly because it cut into my social life. But then you go out immediately and pull _this_ crap on us."

"You have to admit, Kurt. It is fairly suspicious," Quinn said.

"I am kinda thrown, man," Puck said, "I mean, we all voted and—"

Kurt threw his hands up. He felt like he'd walked in on a lynch mob. "_I_ didn't get a vote! This is _my_ life, don't you think I should have had a say?"

"You didn't really speak up," Sam mumbled.

"How could I, with all of you ganging up on me? And okay, maybe it wasn't the best decision I've ever made, but I was upset and I wanted to be with my _boyfriend_! Is that so wrong?"

"Uh… _yeah! _It is when he's on the enemy team," Artie pointed out.

Kurt looked at Mercedes, but she just cocked her head to the side a bit and shrugged. "Kurt… we just… we all feel a little betrayed." Kurt's jaw dropped. She went to put her hand on his shoulder and he stepped away from her. "We still love you, Kurt."

Rachel finally spoke up, "Okay! Enough of this. Kurt, as much as I hate to say this, we've taken another vote."

Kurt was shaking, his fists clenched around his bag strap. Everyone was silent for a second, then Rachel finally took a deep breath and started again.

"We want you to stop seeing Blaine… or else we want you out of New Directions."

Everything was silent. It felt like the room was spinning around him and Kurt took a step back to keep himself from stumbling into a faint. He looked between their faces, most of them were refusing to look at him, especially Finn. His dirty work was being done for him and now he was sitting there pretending he'd played no part.

"I…How-?... You can't do this…" Kurt stammered.

Rachel's fingers were digging into the hem of her skirt, "We're all agreed." After another moment of silence she added, "We do love you Kurt, we just… we want to win."

"_I_ want to win!" Kurt pointed out, angrily.

"We thought so too, but then you go off making deals with the devil," Santana said.

"How can you believe that?" Santana just shrugged at him. Puck turned uncomfortably in his seat. Kurt stopped himself just shy of stamping his foot. "Blaine is not the devil! He wouldn't do anything to hurt us!"

"Well how should we know?" Santana asked. "All we know is that we have pictures of you and Blaine making out just hours after we politely voted on your discretion in seeing him."

"You have _pictures_?"

"Finn took them," Rachel said softly, stealing a glare across the room at Finn.

Kurt stared at his stepbrother. He felt betrayed. He felt hurt and used. He just kept running over the same line again and again in his head, _"I've done nothing wrong!"_ He searched for a response but couldn't find a retort harsh enough to express how he felt. "So you're kicking me out," he finally concluded, defeated.

"No! No, no… Kurt," Mercedes said, trying to touch his shoulder again, but he flinched away from her. "We want you to stay. We need you."

"All we're saying is that for the next two weeks we need you to abstain from Blaine," Quinn said.

"Right! And after we win Regionals, you can go right back to… being together every day," Tina said cheerfully.

"If he doesn't _hate_ me by then." Kurt looked directly up at Finn. "Well that's great. I finally find someone who makes me happy and thanks to Finn you guys decide to drop everything and tear him away from me."

"Your actions yesterday kinda spoke louder than Finn's words. You know, with the pictures and everything," Sam mumbled.

Kurt glared at Sam, and then back up at Finn. He took a deep breath and raised his chin. "Well, thanks a lot Finn. As if there wasn't enough bulling at this school. Some friends you are." At that moment the door opened and Mr. Schuester stepped in. Mercedes called after Kurt as he ducked around Schuester and out the opened door. None of them got up to follow him.

Schuester looked around the room at all the sullen faces. "Uh… what's going on, guys?"

* * *

><p>Ten minutes later, Rachel found Kurt sitting at the front of the stage in the auditorium, one leg hugged to his chest. He was chewing on his thumb nail and staring out into the sea of empty seats. He didn't look at her as she smoothed her skirt under her and carefully sat down beside him.<p>

"I'm sorry, Kurt," she whispered.

"No you aren't. You get all the solos now," he replied. He couldn't even work up the energy to sound haughty. He was completely deflated.

"That's true," she nodded, then cleared her throat. "Even so, it wouldn't be the same without you. We need you. I know that you love him. I know what that's like…"

"I love _Glee_," Kurt whispered, "I love _singing_."

"So come back with me. Come back to the choir room and tell everyone you're still one of us and help us work on the music."

"How can I?" he looked over at her now, trying to glare without his eyes welling up with tears. "How could you do this to me? I mean, after everything we've been through and how much I felt like you were all my family, I don't understand how everyone could be so against me. Everyone likes Blaine. He's such a sweet, caring guy, and he'd never cheat to win against us. If the Warblers beat us, they'd want to do it fair and square. He said so himself. But then _Finn_ comes along and tries to ruin everything. I don't get it! I thought he liked Blaine. They got along really nicely at dinner…"

Rachel settled herself down, readjusting her legs. "I don't think Finn actually has anything against Blaine. And he doesn't have anything against you."

Kurt snorted. "Well he does a good job of showing that, doesn't he?"

"It's me he's mad at," Rachel whispered. Kurt looked over at her to see that her lip was trembling. "And—and I don't know _why_!"

"He still won't talk to you?"

"No!" she took a steadying breath, "I've tried! I even tried texting him on Friday because he avoids me at school and won't answer my calls, but I didn't hear anything back, and this week he's just seemed so angry! I don't understand. What's wrong with me, Kurt?"

Kurt readjusted how he was sitting as well and leaned over to hug her. For as upset and hurt as he was, it was just so sad. It was so pathetic to see her like this. He leaned his head against hers as she tried to keep herself from crying. "I don't know, Rachel," he whispered, "I don't know what's wrong with either of us."

She wrapped her arm around his back. "I don't want you to leave New Directions, Kurt."

"I don't want to either," he said, tilting his chin back to try to knock the gathering tears back into his tear glands. "But when I'm with Blaine… I just feel so amazing, and so safe. I never thought I'd find anyone in all of Ohio, but there he was: this beautiful, talented, kind, funny boy, and he's mine!"

"It would only be two weeks," she reminded him gently.

Kurt shook his head. "I blew him off for two _months_ while I dealt with the whole thing with Karofsky. How can I just blow him off again for Regionals, Rachel? He doesn't deserve that."

She paused, "…So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know. I wish I didn't have to choose."

Rachel pushed away from him and stood up carefully, fixing her skirt, wiping her eyes to make sure no make-up had smeared, and pushing her hair behind her ears. "Do you know why I wanted to do original songs for Regionals?" she asked.

Kurt rolled his eyes, "So you could sing them?"

"Yes!" Rachel said, as though there had been no malice in his guess, "_And_ because I already wrote one."

Kurt tilted his head to the side and looked up at her. For all her faults, she had more ambition than anyone he'd ever met. "You did?"

"Yes. I didn't think I'd know how to write it, but I worked hard all weekend and I think I have it. Do you want to hear?"

He couldn't think of anything else to be doing. "Sure."

"It's called 'Get it Right.' I think… I think you and I could sing it as a duet at Regionals… If you want to."

"If I'm even allowed back in the group," Kurt said, pointedly.

Rachel leaned down and touched his shoulder. "We want you in the group, Kurt. People are just a little tense. I mean, New York is on the line. No one wants you to be miserable, but maybe they just don't know what else to do." Kurt looked away from her. "Just… listen to the song. If it's as good as I know it is, it might help you too, okay?"

He shrugged and she stepped back to the very center of the stage with a warning that it wasn't meant to be an a cappella solo, but he'd have to just imagine the music in the background since there was no one to play the piano and she didn't have her music with her. After a few seconds of standing with her eyes closed, she started singing.

"_What have I done? I wish I could run away from this ship going under…"_

* * *

><p>They walked back into the choir room together a good forty five minutes after Kurt had initially left, to find everyone bent over pads of paper and Puck asking Schuester what would rhyme with "badass."<p>

"Everyone?" Rachel chirped upon their entry. "We have an announcement to make! Kurt is going to be staying with us to perform at Regionals!"

She clapped, but everyone else looked up tentatively. Puck threw his notebook on the ground, "Dude! I was kinda hoping you'd stick with Blaine. You two were pretty much awesome together."

"We've reached an acceptable compromise," Rachel elaborated.

"Compromise?" Mercedes echoed.

Puck threw up his hands, "Oh no! All bets are off. I was thrown earlier by those steamy car photographs," Kurt blanched and glared pointedly at Finn. What were the pictures even _of_ and when did he take them? They'd just barely been making out for heaven's sake! Puck continued, "I might have felt a little weird about it, but now I just feel awful. You're crazy about him, dude. We shouldn't be here breaking you two up!"

Kurt raised an eyebrow, "Agreed."

"Hey!" Finn finally cut in, "We talked about this…"

"Wait, _what_ is going on?" Schuester asked.

Rachel raised both hands. "So back to the compromise! Kurt and I just texted Blaine, and everything is worked out. They're on hiatus until the competition is over and we have Kurt all to ourselves. Yay! Also he and I are going to do a duet to a song I wrote."

Luckily, the subsequent "Oh hold up!" was in reference to the song and not the compromise. Kurt was immediately accepted back and only Finn looked remotely bitter about it. He smiled politely, but he refused to make eye contact with anyone and made an excuse to leave early, which was fine with Kurt. He'd have to see Finn enough at home after all.

The worst part was, the compromise wasn't nearly as clean as Rachel had made it sound. After her heartbreakingly beautiful solo, which had a few kinks to iron out, but was otherwise lovely, Kurt had asked her what she thought he should do. She'd knelt down in front of him and asked for his phone, which he gave to her reluctantly, and she said she was going to text Blaine. After a moment of panic and squabble between them, she'd texted, _I'm not choosing Glee over you, but I have to choose, and I am choosing Glee. Please be waiting for me with Regionals is over. _Then she showed it to Kurt and sent it before he could be upset about how heartbreaking it sounded. She handed the phone back, and held out her pinky finger.

"It's done, but you have to promise me something, Kurt. If Blaine's as good of a guy as he seems to be, he'll still be there for you when this is all done…"

"Not with _that_ message, he won't!" Kurt protested, growing furious again.

"He will! But I have to have you promise me, Kurt. You have to promise not to text him back or contact him at all till after Regionals."

"But why? That's not winning! That's giving in!"

"Maybe, but it's how you're going to get what you want and still make everything okay. Promise me."

Kurt stared at her hand and then down at his phone. "…Please can we wait and see if he texts back?"

They waited ten minutes in silence before there was a reply, but it wasn't through text, it was a call. Kurt looked pleadingly at Rachel and she nodded, settling herself closer to him so she could listen in.

"B-Blaine?" he answered.

"_My god, Kurt? What's going on? What did your last text even mean?"_

It almost stopped Kurt's heart to hear the dull panic in Blaine's voice. He could imagine him standing in his tidy Dalton uniform backed into a corner in the halls of the ornate school, holding the phone to his ear, face white with fear. "Blaine…" he tried again, but couldn't form a sentence.

"_Are we breaking up? Is that what's going on? I don't understand, Kurt, what happened?"_

"No! No, please! Please, I don't want to break up with you," he looked over at Rachel, and she wasn't looking at him anymore. She was facing the other way with her hand raised to her face.

"_Then what's happening? What's… what's going on? Please help me understand!"_

Kurt took a breath. "Blaine, I care about you. I care about you so much. More than anything," he stopped and took a few more deep breaths to keep his voice from cracking. "But Glee is all I have here. I want to sing."

"_What? I know that, Kurt…"_

"I don't want to mess this up, Blaine. Because it's perfect, _you're_ perfect."

"_Kurt, please…"_

"And if everyone else doesn't understand that, then I'll _make_ them understand it."

"_What are you…? You don't have to do things on your own!"_

"But you just have to be waiting for me, okay? I know I'm asking too much. I know I… I don't deserve you, and this is just one more reason why…"

"_Kurt! You're perfect, I want to be with you, I—"_

"But I need more time before then. My friends still don't get it, and it isn't your fault, but this… I want everything. I want to get it right, Blaine. Just please be there for me, okay? After Regionals?"

"_Kurt, please! Stop. What are you saying? That even after yesterday…"_

"They saw us, Blaine." Rachel looked over now, frowning. "They think I betrayed their trust, and I don't want it to have to be like that. Please understand."

"_I want to be with you…"_

Kurt took another breath, "I want to be with you too."

"_I'll quit the Warblers!"_

"Please don't…"

"_I'll come over there. I'll be there in ten minutes."_

"No! No, Blaine. No. You mean so much to me, just please give me these two more weeks to be strong enough to deserve you."

"_I…I won't let you. I'll win you back!"_

He couldn't help but smile at that. "You've already won, Blaine. But I have to have somewhere to go at school…"

"_Transfer to Dalton!"_

"I can't… Blaine, I have to prove we're not traitors. We're not wrong. And I…"

"_Can't we… can't we do the double date thing, like they said before?"_

"You said you wanted them to trust us. I want them to trust us too…"

"_We'll prove it to them. Together we can prove we're trustworthy, just don't—"_

"This is the only way…"

"_There has to be another way!"_

"I'm so sorry, Blaine," Kurt was choking up now. Rachel was watching him carefully. He was starting to cry. "Just give me this chance to prove that to them. Give me these two weeks, then I'll never leave you again. Not for anything."

"_Don't say that…"_

There was a long pause in which Kurt started to feel sick to his stomach. Not two months ago, he and Blaine had been sitting together on this very stage.

"… _When do I get to _be_ with you, Kurt?"_ Blaine's voice was shaking. Kurt's hand trembled violently. What did he really want more?

"I have to go. I'm so sorry!" Kurt barely sobbed out the last words, and then he set his phone down in his lap as Blaine said, _"Oh please, no! Kurt!"_

Rachel reached forward and touched the button the end the call. Kurt bit the inside of his cheeks and took a breath before weakly raising his pinky finger. She took it. Their puffy red eyes met each other.

"Let's do this," she said bravely.

* * *

><p><strong>AN**- AH! That got long. I wanted to use the term "macking out" but was afraid it'd be seen as a typo. In the future I shall not restrain myself. The intended song will be in the next chapter, also, does anyone have votes on what's making Finn so pissed? Votes on the mystery song?


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N**- This was all going to be in the previous chapter, but this is way more fun, don't you think? By "fun" I mean "sadistic."

The last chapter got some very _very_ strong responses, which I guess I expected. This one will be full of dialog and song to make up for it!

Also I've outvoted myself on the song I wanted to use. The Partridge Family song will show up eventually, but I think my new choice is more appropriate, especially given the response to the last chapter.

Thank you for your undeserved faith in me! Hopefully you continue to enjoy!

* * *

><p><strong>Just Like the White Winged Dove<strong>

* * *

><p>"He won't answer my texts. He won't answer my calls. He hates me. He must hate me. Oh, god! Why am I such a complete <em>loser?<em>" Blaine yelled, punching the bag in the Dalton Academy gym to punctuate every sentence. It was over a week later, a week that had not been going well and had involved almost daily Kurt-interventions by the Warblers to keep Blaine from either slipping into a pit of moping and despair or carrying through with threats to go straight to McKinley and confront to boy of his dreams.

Wes put a hand on his shoulder. "You're being dramatic."

"I _feel_ dramatic!" Blaine fumed, punching the bag again.

"I'll say," Trent commented. Several of the Warblers were also in gym sweats and had joined in with the boxing therapy that Blaine so desperately needed. Their star had been jilted. Short of letting him march over to McKinley and demanding justice, they didn't know what else to do to release him from his funk. Venting through boxing worked better than anything else to clear Blaine's head. Music hadn't been working; he seemed off during rehearsals, and kept forgetting lyrics or messing up choreography and then apologizing pathetically.

"Maybe you should forget about him," Wes suggested gently.

In a single motion, Blaine shrugged him off, spun full circle and threw his hands up, yelling, "HOW?"

"He has kinda been blowing you off a _lot_," Thad supplied. Blaine's face fell and then his muscles tightened. He looked like he was going to rush at Thad.

David stepped forward. "Come on, Blaine. Let's try this: what do you wish you could say to him?"

Blaine punched the bag rapidly a few times and then leaned his forehead against it, shooting a glare at Thad who responded with clapping his hands together in front of his face and giving Blaine an apologetic look. Blaine shrugged, "I don't know." He punched the bag again halfheartedly. "I want to ask him why he chose his stupid Glee club over me…" He punched the bag again.

"Hey now, Glee is _not_ stupid," David pointed out. "But _think,_ Blaine! No questions. What do you want to _say_ to him?"

Blaine took a deep breath, looked between all of them and bit his lip. "I… I think I could say it in a song… Could we maybe change our eleven o'clock number for Regionals?"

There was a slight groan, because they'd been working on their P!NK medley for so long now.

"Maybe. We can bring it before the council," Wes promised, ignoring the way Blaine's eyes scanned between him, David, and Thad, making it obvious that he'd noted that the entire council was currently present. "But we have to approve it first. Your last idea for a song to Kurt might have been effective, but it was kinda really weird." He looked around for confirmation and all the other boys shrugged and nodded with him.

Blaine frowned. "What was weird about it? 'Animal' was romantic." His countenance had changed again. The aggression had melted away and, in a bipolar sort of way, he was gentle Dr Jeckyll all over again.

David patted his shoulder. "Come on. Shower time now, we'll explain it to you later."

"The song I want to sing is called 'When I Get You Alone' and it's by this guy, Robin Thicke…" Blaine explained, enthusiastically, while he unwrapped his gloves.

Thad raised his eyebrows, but after a second of consideration, nodded with approval. Wes, on the other hand, quickly cut in. "That's a No. But, we'll work on it. In fact, I might have a song that would be perfect for you." They headed off the gym floor and to the locker rooms. Blaine was becoming more and more interested in Wes's idea for the Regionals number.

* * *

><p>Kurt sat through Glee for the first week, his heart not really in it anymore. All week he'd been getting texts from Blaine begging him to answer.<p>

_Please tell me things are different today. Please say you'll still be there for coffee._

_ Okay, so no coffee then._

_ I miss you, Kurt._

_ What if I just give the New Directions our setlist and apologize for making them nervous or whatever and I sweep you off your feet and into my arms tonight?_

_ Please answer._

_ I know you can't answer. I'm being stupid. I'm sorry I'm so stupid._

The rest of the club settled on a subject for a song and started writing. Kurt felt like an outcast. When Friday rolled around he stopped Rachel in the hall. "I'm pulling out of the duet. It's your solo now."

She looked excited for a split second before frowning at him, "What? But we sound amazing. Seriously, you need to sing this with me."

With no enthusiasm, he just shrugged and said, "It's your song. You're the star, Rachel. Go shine." Then he walked away.

* * *

><p><em> Now it's the weekend. Last weekend was amazing. I miss you.<em>

_ I just want to know that you're still alive. Mercedes won't text me either._

_ Or Mike Chang, or Tina. Your friends hate me._

_ I don't mean that. I'm rambling. I won't text you for the rest of the weekend. I'm so sorry._

_ Okay, so Rachel texted me. That was weird._

_ No, I said I'd stop. I'm sorry. I feel like an idiot._

Kurt found himself scrolling through the texts constantly, unable to delete any and feeling more and more guilty. The mental commentary he imagined to go with each text got more apologetic and self deprecating each time. "_I'm so sorry, please don't hate me." _

He knew he should have quit New Directions stayed with Blaine, especially now that he'd given up on the duet and hadn't even contributed to the songwriting.

He spent that weekend hanging out at the shop with his dad and being mostly useless. He had never learned the names of half the parts, so he needed a description of everything Burt asked him for to even be useful handing items from the bench to the car.

Around noon on Saturday Burt finally said, "Okay, there is no way you're spending the whole day here. What's up? Shouldn't you be going out with Blaine or something?"

Kurt leaned against the car and shrugged. Burt wiped his hands on a rag and frowned. His son was wearing grease-monkey overalls and a T-shirt and hadn't done his hair. It was practical, but knowing Kurt, it was cause for concern.

"Are you having boy trouble? Because I swear I'll kick that kid's ass if he's done anything to you."

"No, dad. It's nothing like that. I'm fine. Blaine's wonderful. It's not boy trouble." He didn't know how to tell Burt that he _was_ having boy troubles, but that they weren't Blaine's fault. He didn't want to get Finn in trouble. It was hard enough to avoid Finn, since they lived together and he also worked in the shop. If Burt got mad at him… it really wasn't something Kurt wanted to deal with on top of everything happening in New Directions.

He had considered staying home to avoid Finn, but the idea of spending the whole weekend completely alone didn't appeal to him either. He was refusing to talk to his friends too—he figured that if he couldn't text Blaine, he might as well not text anyone. Finn didn't even seem to notice that Kurt never made eye contact with him and rarely responded when he spoke. He still tried to talk to Kurt during meals or when they passed in the hall. At least spending the weekend with his dad, Kurt could be assured some human contact that didn't make him feel like the world was out to get him.

"Then what's up? You've never spent a Saturday with me before. Not since you got your driver's license, anyway."

"So? I can spend time with you," Kurt said.

"Yeah, sure, but that doesn't mean you _do_. Now seriously, Kurt. What's up?"

Kurt shrugged, "You and I barely see each other." He tried to look nonchalant, but then his eyes met his dad's. His dad had supported him through everything. He always gave the best advice and made Kurt feel better, but it hadn't been all that long since the same man had been lying unconscious in a hospital bed. Kurt glanced down at the floor. His dad didn't need to know about the high school drama. "I'm just really stressed about Regionals."

"That's this weekend, right? Carole and I are gonna be there, rooting for you!" Burt leaned back inside the car to mess with something. When Kurt didn't respond he added, "You know if there's something you need to talk about, I'll always be here for you."

Kurt smiled, "I know, Dad," he replied, feeling miserable inside. After a pause he asked, "Hey Dad?"

"Yup?" was the response from under the hood.

Kurt rolled the words around in his head so they'd come out as non-directive as possible. "Do you like Blaine?"

Burt popped his head out and gave Kurt a stern look. "Yes I do, he seems like a good kid and all, but I don't think that's important." He stood up straight and looked at Kurt squarely. Kurt was avoiding his gaze. "I think what's really important is, do _you _like Blaine?"

Kurt didn't even hesitate, he just nodded and said, "Yes."

Burt leaned back inside the car again, "Then what're you doin' asking me for?"

Kurt just nodded. His dad was right. His dad was always right. He leaned forward and picked up an oddly shaped tool or part and held it up when his dad came back out from under the hood a moment later. "What's this?"

Burt took it and launched into a description of the part and its use, not ignoring the fact that his son was definitely upset and, once again, not telling him something.

_So… it's Monday now…_

_I guess I have to wait till the end of the week. _

_This isn't easy._

* * *

><p>Late on Sunday night, Kurt realized that, although he'd stopped going to see Miss Pillsbury after his confrontation with Dave Karofsky had gone so well, he still had counseling sessions set up through the rest of the semester. He set his alarm and woke up especially early on Monday, got ready, and drove to school. Once inside, he was glad to see that Miss Pillsbury was already there, vigorously scrubbing at her office door handle, wearing rubber gloves up to her elbows.<p>

"Miss Pillsbury?" he said getting her attention.

She looked up, alarmed, "Oh! Oh, Kurt! What a surprise! I thought you decided not to keep coming in. I'm just… just cleaning."

He raised his eyebrows and nodded. "I know I haven't been coming in lately, but I needed to talk to someone. Are you busy this morning?"

"No. Of course you can talk to me!" then she looked down at her hands, which were trembling, and looked at the door handle. "Just… give me a minute. Is that alright?"

Kurt looked up and down the hall. No one was even there yet. "Would it be okay for me to start talking while you… keep doing that?"

She looked surprised and then smiled. "Oh, yes, of course!"

"You won't tell anyone I came in to talk to you, especially Mr. Schuester, right?" he said softly.

"Of course, Kurt. You know our meetings are always completely confidential."

"Okay," he stepped past her and into the office, then turned the chair so it was facing the door. She had already gone back to scrubbing. It occurred to Kurt that she might not even be able pay attention to both him and the neurotic cleaning, but he didn't really care.

"I chose Glee over my boyfriend last week."

She spritzed the door handle with more cleaning solution. "You did? Why? I mean…What do you mean?"

Kurt bit his lower lip. "Miss Pillsbury, Finn's supposed to be my stepbrother, but it seems like instead of being happy for me for having found Blaine, who, I mean, is so amazing, in just every way …um… It seems like Finn is trying to ruin it." There was no response so he kept going. "Somehow he managed to convince everyone in the club that Blaine's an enemy spy and that our relationship is compromising New Direction's chance at Regionals."

"_Is_ your relationship with Blaine compromising the club?" she asked.

Kurt shifted uncomfortably. "No. It's not compromising it nearly as much as Finn and his bad attitude are. _We_ haven't done anything wrong."

"Are you sure?"

"Blaine and I don't even _talk_ about Glee club. I mean, even if Blaine knew we were doing original songs, he wouldn't use that as an advantage to beat us. He's not like that. They all know he's not like that. Everyone likes Blaine. Everyone likes the Warblers! At least, I thought they did."

Miss Pillsbury pulled out a toothbrush now and started scrubbing even more meticulously. "Well, then what made the club think Blaine's a threat?"

"Finn."

"How so?"

"He…" Kurt shifted uncomfortably again. "He allegedly took pictures of us… together in the back seat of my car," he rushed through the last part.

Miss Pillsbury's eyes went wide. "Um. Okay. That's a little weird. Kinda stalkery. But I'm confused, Kurt. Were the pictures of you trading secret information?"

"No… they were… um. Actually, I didn't see them. But we were just kissing," Kurt could feel how red he was, it was blurring his vision.

"Okay. Alright…. No," she turned and looked at him, "No, I'm still confused, Kurt. Why would that turn the club against you? I know how much they all love you. I'd think they'd be happy for you."

"Yes! I thought so too, but…" he trailed away and started picking at the edges of his nails. Miss Pillsbury went back to working feverishly on the door.

"But?"

"But… we weren't supposed to be alone together. They all voted— without my consent, mind you—that I shouldn't be alone with Blaine until after Regionals."

She nodded, "And you broke that?"

Kurt swallowed the lump in his chest. "…Yes."

"Why?"

He glanced around the room. He felt like he was so powerless. "Because… I was upset. I felt betrayed that they didn't trust me… that _Finn_ didn't trust me. I just wanted to be with my boyfriend."

"So… it sounds like _they_ felt a little betrayed too."

"…Yeah. Maybe."

"Well, did you apologize?"

"For what?"

"For betraying them."

Kurt's face fell. "I didn't _betray_ anyone."

"Yes, but they felt like you did. And you're their friend. You don't _have_ to, but I think that you're capable of being the bigger man, Kurt, and to get what you want, maybe you should be the first one to say you're sorry."

He narrowed his eyes at her, but nodded slowly. It was annoying, and not what he wanted to hear, but it made sense. "Normally I am good at taking the moral highroad."

"Yes you are," she agreed.

He picked at his nails again. "I wonder what's wrong with me?"

"There's nothing wrong with you, Kurt."

"Usually I'm so good at coming up with snappy responses and sticking to what I believe in. I'm almost as good as Rachel at getting what I want… But last week, I…I just felt so defeated. I didn't expect them all to turn on me like that. Especially Mercedes and Tina… and Puck… I didn't mean to betray their trust, I just… I called Blaine. I didn't know what else to do. I wanted to see him and nothing else made sense. You should be allowed to do that, shouldn't you? When you're dating someone?"

Miss Pillsbury nodded. "But what you said was that you chose Glee over Blaine."

Now the lump was coming back, reinforced with tears. "Yes."

"How does that work?"

Kurt shrugged. "Well… after… everything, they said I could either be in Glee, or be with Blaine."

"They made you break up with him?"

"…No."

"No?"

"I can't contact him at all until after Regionals," he blinked hard.

She looked over at him and said gently, "That's in a week."

"It's already _been_ a week."

"And you want to contact him?"

Kurt paused, "Of course I do."

"But you want to stay in Glee."

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because… I love Glee."

"But, you love Blaine."

Kurt's face fell. His heart was sinking in his chest and he was sinking lower in the chair like maybe it would eat him up if he sank low enough. He was glad no one had walked by yet to see his terrible posture. After a moment, Miss Pillsbury spoke again.

"Is that why you're really here, Kurt? To talk about why you didn't choose Blaine?"

Kurt took a staggering breath, "He keeps texting me. I feel awful."

"Why don't you text him back?"

"I gave up the duet with Rachel. I don't even feel like I'm _part_ of the Glee club anymore," he said, trying to divert the question.

"And yet, you haven't contacted him."

Kurt took a deep breath. He could see where she was going with this. He didn't want to keep pretending he was an idiot just to hear her ask him what he had already realized. He whispered, "Can we shut the door?"

Miss Pillsbury looked forlornly at the door handle, gave it another few good scrubs with the toothbrush, then agreed, picked up her things, and walked inside, shutting the door behind her. Kurt waited until she had deposited all her cleaning supplies in their designated location before speaking again.

"What if Finn got to me too?" He said softly.

"What do you mean?"

"I think… maybe I believed what Finn said. What if… I've been doubting Blaine? He's been nothing but a gentleman and sweet and honest and perfect, but… it's like Finn planted this idea in my head and I can't let go of it."

"You think Blaine might just be using you?"

"No… No. I just… I trust Finn. I don't understand why he'd say something, or _do_ something like this if it wasn't because he was legitimately concerned and… trying to help me."

Miss Pillsbury was sitting at her desk now and she was looking at him very seriously. He'd turned his chair so they were facing each other. "Kurt, listen to me very carefully. I need to ask you: why do you think that about Finn?"

"…What?"

She tapped her nails on her desk twice then started again. "I hate to say it, but Finn hasn't exactly been there for you all that often. Puck's the one who stood up for you when you were getting bullied. And Mercedes is your real friend. From what I hear, even Rachel has tried to stand up for you over and over again. Finn has hardly been on your side at all, Kurt. He sort of shows up at the end and takes credit for solving a problem when, really he just stood by and let it reach its boiling point. I know he's the 'golden boy,' but… I just don't see any reason you should believe in him. I know I haven't met Blaine, but… which one of them do you actually trust more?"

"Finn is my brother…"

"He's your stepbrother, Kurt, and he has problems too. He broke up with Miss Berry and won't talk about it, he's putting you off and turning your friends against you, last year he flip-flopped around about who he was dating with no regard for other people's feelings. I mean, Kurt, if we're choosing heroes… I don't think yours is Finn."

Kurt stayed silent for several minutes. There was no way to refute what she'd said. He didn't even have an _"Oh, but what about this time!"_ example that didn't come with a "_Yeah, but…"_ attached.

"Rachel told me to be careful around Blaine too," he tried, and then immediately realized, "_But that was before she got to know him."_

"What do _you_ think?" Miss Pillsbury asked.

Kurt shook his head and didn't speak for several long seconds. "What should I do? I've ruined everything. I already blew him off for a week, why should Blaine even want to speak to me after this? And…" his throat was constricting as he choked out the rest of his sentence. "If I give up on Glee now, how will I ever get out of Ohio?" He took a tissue off her desk and pressed it to his cheeks.

Miss Pillsbury considered him for a moment, then took a breath. "I think you have two options, Kurt. Regionals are at the end of this week. You can go back to Glee and make the most out of it, take back the duet, let yourself shine, because you're right, getting to Nationals could be your ticket to Broadway or wherever else you have your heart set. And you can hope that Blaine is a better guy than Finn, which… I'm going to go out on a limb and say is very likely," she shrugged when he looked up at her. "And hope that he'll still be there for you afterwards."

"What's my other option?" he asked, grinding his teeth slightly.

"Leave Glee, call Blaine right now and tell him you're sorry and hope he can forgive you and then deal with whatever friends you might lose here at McKinley. Sure, not everyone in New Directions will judge you, but losing you right before Regionals would prove that Finn was right all along, don't you think? And Finn lives with you now. How's that going to work?"

Kurt closed his eyes. "What do you think I should do?"

"I think you're at that point, Kurt. It can go either way and no matter what, you're going to be begging for somebody's forgiveness after Regionals. Who do you think is more likely to give it to you? Finn…or Blaine?"

Kurt sucked in his lips and nodded, then smiled slightly. The answer was obvious. He stood up. "Thank you Miss Pillsbury."

"Oh? Are you sure that's all? We can talk for another ten minutes if you want to." Outside students were starting to gather in the halls, milling about around their lockers before class.

"No, I think this has helped a lot," he assured her as he shouldered his bag and opened the door to leave. "Thanks."

She smiled back. "Anytime."

* * *

><p>In first period, Kurt sat his things down next to Rachel and turned squarely toward her. "We're back on for the duet," he announced. She clapped her hands and squeaked.<p>

* * *

><p><em> I just realized that I don't even know if you're allowed to read these. I hope you're reading them. I hope your phone isn't locked up in your evil stepbrother's sock drawer.<em>

_ I didn't mean that. I don't think Finn's evil. I just miss you, Kurt. I want to see you._

_ I miss you._

_Ok. Wednesday. Still no coffee?_

_Regionals is just three days now and The Warblers have agreed to change something. This Saturday I'm going to be singing to you. Please listen carefully._

* * *

><p>New Directions arrived early on Saturday to change into their show costumes and apply their stage make-up. They'd written, practiced, and perfected their songs and even Kurt managed to feel genuine enthusiasm about them by the end of the week.<p>

He'd made a formal apology to the group the same day as his meeting with Miss Pillsbury. Many members of the club were just happy he seemed okay again and suggested lifting the sentence and letting him text Blaine. However, in light of Regionals on the horizon, he was ultimately asked to continue without contact. After some apologies, they held a big group hug, then worked together amicably. Finn had stayed silent at the back of the room.

Before they made their way out into the audience, Kurt received the first text he'd gotten from Blaine since Wednesday.

_I hope you'll be listening._

They were in the last slot, and noticed immediately that the Warblers were in the first. As they sat down in their assigned section in the audience, Kurt asked for their permission to send a single word to Blaine so that he'd receive it before the Warblers went on.

Because it being too late for it to change anything now, and because they were riding on the excitement of how prepared they were this time around, the group voted Yes.

From backstage where the Warblers were getting ready, Blaine, almost praying due to nervousness and anticipation, clutching his phone with both hands, received a text.

_Courage!_

* * *

><p>The lights went out and the curtain rose in the darkness, then a spotlight slowly lit the stage, front and center. Blaine was standing there, head bowed, and Kurt's heart skipped a beat. Behind Blaine you could barely make out the rest of the Warblers, standing in two rows, spread out on the risers. In a breath, the first note left their throats, and Blaine, with his head still bowed, started singing.<p>

_"I walked across an empty land, I knew the pathway like the back of my hand."_ Behind Blaine, the Warblers had started moving, very slowly strolling between one another, changing spaces on the stage. _"I felt the earth beneath my feet, sat by the river and it made me complete."_

Now the stage lights shot on and Blaine raised his head. Even with the glare of the lights, Blaine looked straight into the glare at the spot he knew Kurt was sitting.

_"Oh simple thing, where have you gone?"_ The Warblers had stopped moving and were facing to the left side of the stage. As the chorus progressed, they turned, row by row, facing center. _"I'm getting old and I need something to rely on. So tell me when you're gonna let me in. I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin."_

The next verse started and the Warblers stepped forward, front row, then back, and Blaine turned his back on the audience and started walking toward the back of the stage, his voice losing none of its power. _"I came across a fallen tree, I felt the branches of it looking at me."_ When he reached the top of the risers at the far side of the stage, he turned around again, _"Is this the place we used to love?_" he spread his arms, "_Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?"_

Through the chorus they held their positions, then Blaine stepped forward, and the Warblers retreated a step in the same time. "_And if you have a minute, why don't we go," _he continued walking slowly till he hit the edge of the stage all through, _"Talk about it somewhere only we know? This could be the end of everything, so why don't we go somewhere only we know?"_ His face changed all of a sudden in the pause and glanced back over his shoulder for the second, _"Somewhere only we know."_

The Warblers were positioned and took over as the crescendo built and all at once Blaine had leapt off the stage and was rushing down the aisle. The houselights rose to just above dim and the spotlight followed him. He came level to Kurt's row and for the first time in two weeks he was staring directly at his boyfriend, seating the third seat in from the edge and watching him, mouth agape. Blaine took a deep breath before belting out, "_And if you have a minute, why don't we go talk about it somewhere only we know? This could be the end of everything, so why don't we go? So why don't we go?"_

He stepped right up to the row and held out his hand to Kurt, who couldn't help but take it, almost crying from his heart beating so fast. He was smiling and looked absolutely stunning, dressed in all black, and in the waves of the audience, it was just the two of them.

Luckily the Warblers had begun moving again and were pulling some attention, but Blaine pulled Kurt up out of his seat, around Rachel and Quinn, and as Kurt stumbled into the aisle, he wrapped his arms around his boyfriend and pressed his face into Kurt's shoulder, forgetting the performance for that one moment when smelled the light musk of Kurt's body wash and feel the soft skin of Kurt's neck against his cheek. When Kurt fell into him and hugged back, whispering his name, Blaine imagined grabbing him by the hand, barreling through the main doors and running away together, forgetting this performance, this town, this state, and just being together forever. However, everything snapped back to reality almost as fast as it had left and he couldn't even linger in Kurt's arms because he heard his cue to come back in. He let go of Kurt, letting their hands linger together as long as possible while he stepped backwards toward the stage.

"_This could be the end of everything, so why don't we go somewhere only we know?"_ He just made it back to the edge of the stage, walking backwards the whole way by the time the second, _"Somewhere only we know" _came in. Kurt was still standing in the aisle, looking dazed and perfect and staring straight at him. Blaine nodded slightly.

"_Somewhere only we know."_

* * *

><p>The Warbler's second performance was P!NK's "Raise Your Glass" and Blaine barely had time to leap onto the stage during the applause and blow a kiss to Kurt, who realized he'd better sit back down, before the choreography for the second number picked up and they were once again bringing the crowd to their feet.<p>

There was a shuffle once the Warblers finished and Kurt tried to push past the rest of the group to run backstage to find Blaine, who had met his gaze during their final bow and looked at him so longingly that Kurt just wanted to be holding him again. However, Rachel caught his hand. "We have to warm up," she reminded him.

Kurt stopped himself before he said, _"I know, I just want to find Blaine first."_ Finn was giving him a look like he was challenging him to even try running off. It occurred to Kurt that if he could just last through the next show choir's performance and their own, he would be out of the woods.

He was half wishing that Blaine would be leaning against the door to the warm-up room, waiting for them, but there were no Dalton blazers in sight. They warmed up, he and Rachel taking extra time to harmonize their voices and give each other confidence, then, it seemed like way too quickly, they were headed toward the stage.

* * *

><p>The curtain rose to reveal Rachel Berry standing alone on the stage, just off of center at one of two stand microphones placed about two yards apart. She looked to one side of the stage, and then her eyes lingered on the other side, the side she was closest too, and she began singing the first verse of the song she had written herself. Kurt bit his lower lip from where he stood offstage. She was singing her part of the song to Finn.<p>

The first verse drew into the chorus, and after the question _"But how many times will it take? How many times will it take for me to get it right?"_ She turned and smiled at Kurt, repeating, _"To get it right…"_ as he took a breath, entered, and stepped up to the microphone.

The houselights weren't completely out, so he found the sea of blue and red blazers and pinpointed Blaine just before the lights changed. He glanced back at Rachel, then fixated back on the spot where Blaine was sitting. His voice dropped from its usual contra tenor high-range. With this song, he'd struggled to get out of his comfort zone, because as Rachel pointed out, that was what the song was really about, and he was singing in a deeper register than he'd ever sung a sustained song before. _"Can I start again with my faith shaken? Cause I can't go back and undo this. I just have to stay and face my mistakes, but if I get stronger and wiser,"_ he looked back at Rachel and they harmonized the bridge,_ "I'll get through this."_

They turned back to the audience and sang together through, "_What can you do when your good isn't good enough, and all that you touch tumbles down?"_

Then Rachel picked up, _"But how many times will it take?"_

And Kurt answered, "_Oh how many times will it take for me, to get it right."_

They each took their microphone from its stand and they walked quickly, switching positions on the stage. They called and responded, Rachel taking, _"So I throw up my fist," _then Kurt, _"Throw a punch in the air!"_ which he did, and then Rachel sang, _"And accept the truth that sometimes life isn't fair! Yeah, I'll send down a wish," _and Kurt came back reached out toward Blaine as he and Rachel crossed each other in the front of the stage again. _"Yeah, I'll send up a prayer, that finally someone will see…" _The song had changed for him. For Rachel, she was still asking for forgiveness, still asking the question of _how_ _to_ get it right, but for Kurt it had changed from the moment Blaine leapt off that stage. He wasn't asking _how_ anymore. The song had become a promise, a promise that he _would_ get it right, and he wanted Blaine to know. He bent forward, drawing in air to hold out the note that wasn't in his naturally comfortable range, but he'd worked with Rachel on it all week and had insisted on stealing this line from her after winning three coin tosses in a row. He faced straight at Blaine and hit the note perfectly. _"…how much I care!"_

The rest of the club began moving onto the stage, supplying back-up while Rachel took over the lines. He came back in on the last "_How many times will it take?"_ and then he and Rachel placed their microphones back in the stands, and he sang, _"To get it right,"_ and she replied with the same line, fading out to the last note. He smiled at her, and the audience erupted.

Blaine was on his feet, and his was the only face Kurt could see.

* * *

><p><strong>AN**- DID THEY WIN? I have a major hint for you and (it's Season 2 Episode 16).

I really do like writing performances, it's kind of exhilarating and I also enjoy listening to the same song over and over again, but is it annoying to read? Do you want me to stop now or is it working for you?


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N**- New fic recommendation! It's a Klaine version of Enchanted called "Once Upon…" by neaf. It's outstanding! I spent way too many hours of my life reading it. All of neaf's stories are good. "Saturdays" is adorable, "Floorshow" is Rocky Horror and brilliant… I haven't read the Fight Club one yet… But they're all fantastically good. Go to scarves and coffee dot net and read them now!

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><p><strong>Just Like the White Winged Dove<strong>

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><p>The New Directions were introduced after the cheers for Rachel and Kurt's duet died out, and they performed the second original song on their setlist, "Loser Like Me" much to the excitement of the crowd, especially when they threw confetti at the end.<p>

After the song and the subsequent applause wrapped up and the groups were assembling on stage to hear who won, Kurt and Blaine couldn't take their eyes off each other. Blaine visibly gulped as he and Kurt positioned themselves to be as close to each other as possible. The other team was between them, but Kurt gave him a tiny wave and a smile that made Blaine's heart flutter. Four different fingers poked him in the back, and when he turned around, his friends were staring at him lovingly.

"We forgive you for probably ruining our chances," Thad whispered while the announcer was introduced.

"It was all for love," Trent sighed happily from behind Blaine.

Wes was shaking his head. "I am going to kick your ass if we don't win, Mr. Anderson," he hissed.

Blaine glanced back at Kurt, who had just turned to say something to the blond girl behind him, and figured his ass could probably take it. The hug had been worth it. It had erased all traces of doubt that Kurt might not want to be together as badly as he did.

Other members of New Directions were looking over at him and he forced himself to not look back. If Kurt was all he could see then everything was going to be okay. He didn't want to have to deal with the team who had caused the tears in the car the last day he'd seen Kurt or the beatings to the punching bag in the Dalton gymnasium while Blaine dealt with the last two weeks of being without him. Just Kurt.

The woman announcing the winner was swaying on the stage and it occurred to Blaine all at once that she had skipped the formalities. "Let's just see who won," she slurred, and he looked over at her, suddenly hoping to win all over again.

But it wasn't the Warblers who got called. The look on Kurt's face when, "The New Directions!" was announced numbed the guilt and the disappointment Blaine felt over his team losing. Kurt's eyes went wide and his whole face spread into a smile, his skin actually seemed to glow under the harsh stage lights. Two pairs of arms were around him in an instant, Artie's, the wheel chair kid who he was standing next to, and Brittney, the tall blond who was standing behind him and who planted a kiss on his ear, before doing the same to the brunette girl beside her. Kurt hugged Artie back and had placed a hand over Brittney's before leaning away from her as he realized where her lips were headed, and his eyes shot right over to Blaine. He didn't even wait for their choir director to grab the trophy and hold it up, or for Mercedes to reach for his hand, he was already crossing past the other team.

Blaine took two steps forward to meet him and they buried their faces into each other's shoulders, holding each other tight, lost in the excitement and the movement of the crowd. Some male voices were saying, "Congratulations Kurt!" and patting his arm or his back, but all Kurt could focus on was that either he or Blaine or both were trembling slightly and the warm smell he recognized as Blaine and the strength in those arms. He didn't want to let go.

Over the noise, Mercedes yelled, "Kurt!"

Kurt leaned into Blaine, causing them both to rock backwards before Blaine shifted and caught them. He said Blaine's name, and the grip on his back softened. Blaine pulled back so they were looking each other in the eye. Kurt had to speak loudly over the noise, and his voice sounded shriller than he meant it to. "I'm so sorry, Blaine. I'm so sorry. I've missed you so much!"

Blaine pulled him back into a hug, pressing his cheek against Kurt's and saying, "It's okay. I've missed you too. I've missed you, Kurt. I missed you… a-and congratulations!"

"Can you forgive me?" Kurt asked, and he pulled back again and placed the palms of his hands on Blaine's cheeks. His eyes were still wide from the shock of winning and his face was bright under knit brows. Blaine started to nod, but Kurt continued. "Because never again. I promise, if you can forgive this, then never again. I'm never saying goodbye to you."

Blaine's mind cut out. All he could think of was kissing Kurt. He raised a hand to the boy's cheek and lifted his chin just as a very well muscled arm wrapped itself around Kurt's neck, pulling him back, brushing against Blaine's nose. Kurt's hands left Blaine's face as he flailed to steady himself and Blaine caught them instantly, hoping to help.

"That's enough there, lover birds. We are in public," Puck said, letting Kurt pull away before he got any ideas about a noogie. "We just won a fucking trophy! Let's get off the stage." He jammed a finger toward the exit just in time for Kurt to turn and catch Rachel full force in the chest, then Mercedes, then they pulled him back toward the rest of the group. "We're going to Nationals!" they both yelled, shaking his arms. He dug his heels in and turned quickly back to Blaine who was still standing there looking dazed.

"Come to dinner with me after this," Kurt asked, urgently.

Blaine just stood there and nodded, "Of course. I…I'll meet you backstage." Kurt threw him a smile that was absolutely dazzling, then let himself be dragged back to the mass of blue and black that was still bouncing as it made its way toward the curtains. Finn wrapped an arm around Kurt's shoulders and shot a look at Blaine.

Blaine tried not to grind his teeth or let his jaw clench too tight or be hurt to see the back of Kurt again. The Warblers were leaving the stage too, as were the other team. He had to remind himself that it was just for a minute. A hand wrapped gently around his clenched fist. He looked up to see Thad watching him expectantly. Nick was on his other side, taking his elbow, and suddenly David's hands were on his shoulders and they were steering him off the stage and out the door.

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><p><em>"So you guys didn't even get to be alone together last night?"<em> Tina asked on Sunday morning while Kurt was ironing the shirt he planned to wear that afternoon.

"No. Finn found out and he decided it should be a family event. Blaine and I went to Breadstix with Finn and Carole and my dad in tow."

"_Well that's not so bad. At least you got to see him again,"_ Mercedes offered.

Kurt rolled his eyes and shifted his phone onto his other shoulder. "Yeah, about that…"

_"We're so sorry, Kurt,"_ Tina said quickly. _"It really was a terrible idea keeping you guys apart."_

"Yes it was."

_"We'll make it up to you,"_ Tina promised.

_"Kurt, but you two are okay, right? I was really worried until last night, but then he hugged you, and I just want to make sure…"_

Kurt set down the iron and checked the shirt over for any wrinkles he'd missed. Mercedes had called very early that morning, which was unusual for her on a Sunday, and Tina had called not long after. They'd been chatting for the past twenty minutes and it wasn't even eight. "I think so. We didn't exactly get to talk about it last night with my parents and Finn around, but we will today. He'll understand. Blaine's perfect."

_"I'm glad. We'd have felt awful if you'd broken up over this."_

"Well, I couldn't have blamed him," Kurt replied, dryly.

It was silent for a moment before Mercedes spoke again. _"What are you going to say to him?"_

Kurt sighed. "I don't know. The truth. I mean, what do you expect me to say? I'm not going to make up some story or rehearse lines or anything. I'm just going to tell him I'm sorry and that I still want to be with him. I'll answer whatever he asks me."

_"He still wants to be with you, too,"_ Tina assure him.

_"I just mean, I don't want him to hate all of us," _Mercedes said, meaning the New Directions. _"It is kind of our fault, but we still love you and we really do still like Blaine. I don't want him to think we're out to get him."_

"I won't be surprised if he does. I felt like you were out to get _me_, after all."

_"Should we apologize?"_ Tina asked.

"Yes," Kurt said immediately, then he sat down on his bed. The excitement of getting ready had passed now that his outfit was laid out. He wasn't meeting Blaine till noon. "I don't know. I don't think… I don't think Blaine hates anyone. I think he deserves an apology, but from me, not you. _I'm_ the one _you_ people should be apologizing to."

_"We're sorry,"_ Mercedes said. Tina reiterated the sentiment.

"You are forgiven," Kurt said with a flourish. "I still love all of you too. It's really just Finn I still don't think I can trust."

_"Are you two still not speaking?"_ Tina asked, full of concern. _"You really shrugged him off hard last night when we were leaving the stage."_

"Yeah. Let's just say it was lucky my dad was there at dinner. You know, Finn actually tried to sit down between Blaine and me, _and_ he kept trying to lead these obviously pointed questions."

_"Like what?"_ Mercedes asked. He could hear something go _ding_ from her line and she put her hand over the mouth piece to speak to someone.

"Like trying to bring up stuff about Blaine's past, things he shouldn't have to talk about. Certainly not to Finn, and definitely not right then."

_"What's so bad about his past? Is he an ex-mobster or an international spy or something?" _Mercedes asked and Tina giggled. Kurt glanced up at the clock and stood up.

"Sorry ladies! Lovely as our chat has been, skin care can wait no longer. Blaine is not a former gangster or a spy, but I'll have to talk to you both about it on Monday."

_"Okay, you two have fun this afternoon."_

_ "But not too much fun!"_ Mercedes said, and they both sent their well wishes and goodbyes.

Kurt set down his phone and headed toward the shower, robe tucked under his arm. He wasn't actually sure if anything about Blaine's past needed to be a secret, but he knew that Finn should not have brought it up during dinner. The look on Blaine's face when Finn had mentioned his old school was shattering. Whether or not Burt had seen it too, Kurt was grateful to his dad for immediately cutting off all interrogation with a reminder that they were celebrating.

All Kurt knew about Blaine's past was the brief mention Blaine had made when they were discussing bullying prevention the previous month. They hadn't lingered on the subject too long, because of the way it clearly made Blaine uncomfortable to talk about it. He'd said he'd had the crap beaten out of him at his old school. Whatever happened after that, whatever had caused it, Kurt didn't need to know until Blaine felt comfortable enough to tell him. He undressed and stepped into the shower to get ready for the day.

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><p>Blaine showed up to meet Kurt a few hours later. Kurt was trying not to be waiting at the door, but he had just stalked by it for the fifth time when the knock came and he flung it open and dove into Blaine's arms before he could remember that he'd meant to wait a half a beat.<p>

His arms were securely around Blaine's shoulders and his nose was against his neck. He could feel the tension in Blaine's body that had arisen from the surprise of catching him all melt away as his arms snaked around Kurt's back and his cheek settled against his shoulder.

"It's so good to see you," Kurt couldn't help but whisper, and Blaine rocked them both backwards and squeezed him tighter.

From the doorway Kurt heard his dad's voice. "Geez, you'd think the two of you hadn't seen each other in years, carrying on like that. Now get outta here and have your date. And have fun on it."

Kurt squeezed Blaine's shoulder blade to keep him from saying anything, and then eased out of the embrace and took his hand, lacing their fingers together, to lead them both to Blaine's car. He still hadn't told his dad about the last two weeks.

When they slid into the car, he realized that Blaine had picked up on that. "So… your dad doesn't know."

Kurt bit his lower lip. The euphoria of looking at Blaine again, finally, and the crushing fear of what actually needed to be said were mixing and creating a tornado out of his reasoning facilities. "No," he said simply.

Blaine looked over at him. Because it was the weekend he was dressed in kaki pants, and a checkered blue shirt with suspenders and he looked so adorable that Kurt suddenly didn't want to go anywhere at all, but instead just crawl on top of him and kiss his brains out, pull those suspenders away and maybe unbutton his shirt some. The only kiss they'd shared in the past two weeks had been a peck after dinner and, in so many ways, that teaser just wasn't good enough.

Thinking that made Kurt blush, however, and he was grateful when Blaine had decided to change the subject from their time apart and say, "You look amazing, by the way."

"So do you," Kurt said softly, smiling. Then Blaine leaned in and took the kiss that Kurt wished he'd been brave enough to take, and they set out for the rest of their afternoon together.

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><p>When Kurt got home that night he stopped in the living room to tell his dad about how wonderful his day had been and how amazing Blaine was, which made Burt smile and actually get up to hug him goodnight before he went to his room to start his nighttime skin care routine. He was glad that his dad hadn't noticed that his lips were just slightly chapped. There was no sign of Finn, but the light was on and shining under his door.<p>

He and Blaine had spent the afternoon talking, catching up and partly avoiding the subject of their absence from each other in favor of the subject _of_ each other. After a short agreement that they really were together again and no outside source had the power to change that, it had thankfully not been important any longer. Even more thankfully, after a quick, healthy dinner and the end of their date, they climbed into the car for Blaine to drive Kurt home and they kissed. Really kissed.

It was absolute bliss how great Blaine's lips against his felt. He liked the way Blaine went for it, full force, then backed off and let Kurt direct the movements from there. He liked it when their tongues briefly touched and he could feel a heat rolling through his stomach and his hips. He liked feeling Blaine's cheek and neck beneath his hand. He liked how dark Blaine's eyes got when he'd look at him and how he'd smile like he was a little embarrassed but too happy to be shy. He liked that of all the ways he'd imagined kissing Blaine, _doing it_ always felt so much better.

Before Kurt got out of the car, once they arrived at his house, Blaine had touched his cheek and looked at him from under those thick eyelashes and said, "Kurt, I trust you. I trust you, and I care about you so much, and no matter what happens, no matter what decisions you make or …anything, that's always going to be there. So… these last two weeks. It doesn't matter. I'm still here. I'll always be here. I want to be with you."

Kurt leaned into him and kissed him, letting it go on until his brain righted itself enough to breathe the words, "Thank you," and then to add, "And I care about you, too much to let it happen again. I choose you, Blaine, from here on out, I swear. I want you too."

They'd decided to meet on the McKinley stage after school on Monday as part one in the plan for starting again, then Blaine had given him the softest look and squeezed his hand lightly before getting out and walking around the car to open the door for him like a proper gentleman. After a few more goodnight kisses and assurance and the smile on Blaine's face, Kurt felt like the sky had opened up for him and everything forever was going to be love and romance and perfect, perfect, perfect…

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><p>Kurt was just sitting down to his vanity when Finn knocked.<p>

He turned as Finn stepped into his room and shut the door. There was a folder stuffed full of papers underneath his arm. Kurt eyed it suspiciously.

"Do you need help with your homework?"

Finn frowned, then looked down at the packet and grinned sheepishly. "Nah, I finished my homework. This is about Blaine."

"Wow. Do you have to ruin my evening after _every_ date?" he growled through his teeth, but when Finn didn't respond, Kurt turned slowly, pressing his lips together in a firm line and crossing his legs at the knee. "You came to apologize?"

"No," Finn said firmly, and he held the packet with both hands, fingering the edge. "I really don't think you should be seeing him. I don't think you two should be together."

Kurt raised his eyebrows, "Yes, you've made that clear. But I don't care, Finn. Whatever you see in him… that's not what I see."

"Yeah, well, same to you," Finn said, shrugging.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "I'm going to go out on a limb and say that's probably because you aren't gay."

Finn huffed and threw the packet down on the bed. "That isn't what I meant. You know that's not what I'm talking about. I don't care if he's dashingly handsome and all… gussied up in his blazer and big…" he stumbled for an adjective, "Beautiful brown eyes."

Kurt's jaw went slack. "Okay. Or, maybe you _are_ gay."

"No," Finn pointed at him, "I'm not. But I'm just saying—"

"You're just describing my boyfriend similarly to how your late girlfriend describes my boyfriend. Your problem can't be that he's _too_ dreamy, because if you're jealous, then I am willing to sit down and seriously discuss your sexuality with you and it won't harm my ability to be in a relationship at all."

"Kurt, I'm not gay!" he said angrily. "I just don't think he should be near you. I don't think he's good for you."

"So it was never about him not being good for the club, it was about him not being good enough for _me_?" Kurt asked tartly.

"Hey, I really care about you, Kurt."

"But not enough to want me to be happy."

Finn was shaking with frustration. "Damnit, Kurt! Stop this!"

"Stop what?"

"He isn't good for you."

"What part of sweet, polite, good looking, romantic, and talented isn't good for me?"

"It's not that."

"Then what is it, Finn? What about him is so terrible you have to devote your life to tearing apart my chance at happiness?"

Finn's shoulder fell. He looked around Kurt's room helplessly, then back down at the folder on the bed. He gestured to it. "Read the packet."

"What is it?"

"Some stuff about Blaine."

Kurt rose stiffly and walked to it. "What stuff?" His voice was in full staccato.

"Just read it."

He picked it up as Finn was leaving his room and thumbed through it. No sooner had his door closed before his eyes went wide and he was snapping it shut and lunging for the door handle.

Finn had already made it to his own bedroom and Kurt followed, hissing so Burt and Carole wouldn't hear them. "Finn! What is this?"

"I told you," Finn said, simply, sitting down at his computer chair like he was triumphant.

Kurt threw it to the floor. Inside were documents, two police reports, newspaper clippings, grade reports, copies of transfer documents, things Kurt hadn't even paused over long enough to wonder what they were. All of them had the same name, "_Blaine Anderson,_" over and over. "You _stalked_ him?" he spat.

Finn just shrugged. Kurt's whole face was red and pulled taut with rage. "Rachel found all that, back when you two first started going out."

Kurt wheeled around, "Oh my god!"

"Did you know he got into fights at his old school—"

"You have no right to know this information!" Kurt tried to cut him off.

"And since he's transferred to Dalton he's actually won—not just been in, but _won_—three boxing tournaments?"

Kurt put his fingers in his ears, "Finn stop it!"

Finn stood up and grabbed Kurt's elbows, pulling his hands away from his ears. "Don't you think that's something that you should know about your boyfriend? That he's a violent lunatic who could beat your brains out?"

Kurt was trembling. "Oh, so, what? You're jealous that he's more athletic than you?"

"Blaine Anderson is violent and dangerous."

"Stop it!"

"It's all in the file! He's been going to therapy—"

"Stop it!" Kurt shrieked, pulling away from him. "You have no right, Finn Hudson. No right to go through Blaine's personal life and unearth all this… this… _shit_ about him, and then to show it to _me_. How could you?"

"I want you to be safe, Kurt."

"No! No. You're selfish, and this is wrong. If Blaine wanted to tell me these things," he said, indicating the articles strewn across the floor, "He would tell me. This is his _private, personal_ life, and he should be allowed to tell me on his own terms and not have his life broken into by a moron like you and… displayed like this! You have no right! Yes, I knew he had problems at his old school, I know he boxes, I know because he _told_ me, and whatever insane theories you have about him are just _you_ projecting because you can't take," he was blinking back tears and backing out the doorway, "you can't take that you're just ordinary and he's… and he's _not_."

"Kurt, listen…"

"You don't know the first thing about him! I can't believe you would stoop this low. I can't believe that time and time again, Finn, you prove that the most extraordinary thing about _you_, was Rachel."

Finn threw up his hands. "_She's_ the one who showed me all these things!"

"Yeah, and she backed off as soon as she met him and found out she was wrong. She may have crossed the line, but she knew where to stop. You don't know anything!"

"_I_ am trying to protect you, Kurt."

"_You're_ the only thing I'm scared of right now!" he shot back. Burt was coming up the stairs now, gripping the handrail.

"He could _hurt_ you!" Finn insisted, picking up the folder with one movement and holding it back out to him, papers falling out and scattering across the floor.

"What is going on up here?" Burt shouted. Kurt took the opportunity to duck into his own room and slam the door closed. He locked it and leaned against it, angry at Finn and angry at himself for crying over this. Finn's door slammed shut also and Burt yelled "Somebody owes me an explanation! What is going on?"

"Nothing, Dad," Kurt choked, sinking to the ground. Two articles had fallen out of the folder and were lying on his bedroom floor, a clipping from a newspaper whose heading began with "Teen Violence…" and another one that was a photocopy of a psychiatric report.

Kurt reached for them, crumpled them violently into balls and hurled them across the room.

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><p><strong>AN**- This chapter ended up being hard to write. I felt like I had absolutely no motivation, but at least we're getting into the heart of problems now! Sorry that things keep happening to drive a wedge between the boys, but I really like the drama! Just hang on for me, I promise I've got this under control.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N**- Sorry this update took so long. I've had finals to focus on, but now that it's spring break maybe the updates will be more frequent for a while! Some people expressed concern about Blaine being violent… but I've always really liked the idea that he has anger management issues. He shows it again and again in canon, so I hope those people who are bothered by it will stick with me.

Fic recommendation! I feel like that's what this is; you get a story but secretly I'm just advertising other people's work to distract you. This one isn't Klaine, but they do guest-star. It's called 'Rumor Has It.' It's by gyzym on LJ and it stars Santana. It's an alternate reality of what could easily have happened to Santana after Finn outted her. It's wonderfully written and Finn gets his comeuppance, so I loved it.

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><p><strong>Just Like the White Winged Dove<strong>

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><p>It felt so good to be able to text Kurt again and to get a response. Just to enter a <em>Good morning<em> and to get one in return felt so amazing it made it difficult to sit still all day. Blaine felt like singing and rushing around giggling every time he thought about Kurt. If someone had told him this time last year that something as simple as a text from a boy would make him feel this way, he'd have thought that person was off their medication.

Because the Warblers no longer had competitions to prepare for, he was graced with the day off, and waved to his friends after class rather than following them to the senior commons like normal. He was going to meet Kurt on the stage that afternoon, and he was beside himself with excitement.

The entire way to McKinley he was singing loudly to the radio, and although trepidations remerged as he pulled into the parking lot, he tried to keep his confidence up. He sat in his car gripping the steering wheel listening to Heart blare through the radio, "_What about love? Don't you want someone to care about you? What about love? Don't let it slip away..." _before he decided those were not the right lyrics to motivate him right now and turned the car off.

Whether or not Finn or the New Directions or bullies or anyone else were waiting inside that building, Kurt was in there, probably standing upon that stage looking like a movie star, and Blaine felt like he could brave hell to see him. He stepped out of the car, locking it, fixing the scarf around his neck and straightening his coat before heading inside, taking the exact same route he'd taken when he first entered McKinley before Christmas to sing with Kurt.

This time, however, when he got to the stage, there was no melody wafting through the curtains. In fact, there was no sound at all, and when he walked in and stood in the middle of the stage and called, "Hello?" there was no reply. Kurt was nowhere to be seen or heard.

His shoulders sagged and he turned around. McKinley had been out for longer than Dalton so unless he was being held after in a class, which was entirely possible, he'd expected Kurt to already be there. He called again, "Kurt?" just to hear himself echo slightly, and peered into the empty audience. The house lights were off and he could see nothing. At least the main lights had been left on, and, he noticed, the piano was still sitting on stage on the opposite side from where it was when he'd last been there.

He walked over to it, checking his phone and finding no new messages, and he sat down at the keyboard. He took off his coat and scarf and set them beside him on the bench.

Even though the Warblers had no competitions to prepare for, they would continue practicing, and he was hoping that if Wes didn't remain too angry at him for leaping into the audience and likely costing them Regionals, he wanted to enlist the Warblers to serenade Kurt for his birthday. It was a few months away still, but he'd begun working on an arrangement that he wanted to try. He'd taken the David Cassidy classic, "I Think I Love You" and turned it into a power ballad, intending to have the back up in a cappella rock-style and the melody very romantic. Ultimately he wanted to mash it with another song, but he hadn't decided on one yet and mash ups were not exactly the Warblers' strong suit. He played a few chords on the piano, trying to remind himself of the exact way the arrangement went and regretting having forgotten to bring his notebook with the sheet music in it with him.

If Kurt wasn't going to show up for a little while, he might as well work on music while he waited. There was no better way to distract from all the possibilities that accounted for his absence that Blaine didn't want to let himself consider. He adjusted himself on the seat and started in on the opening, did the intro again, fixing a few notes, then launched into the first verse.

_"I'm sleeping and right in the middle of a good dream when all at once I wake up from something that keeps knocking at my brain. Before I go insane I hold my pillow to my head and spring up in my bed, screaming out the words I dread…"_

He heard the squeak of a door opening and looked up, just short of the next five words. His fingers kept playing, following the same chord progressions, but his voice fell silent. He couldn't see around the curtains or into the seating area to figure out which door had opened, but he heard the door close again with a soft click and focused on the audience. After a moment his fingers stopped moving also and he called out, "Kurt?"

"Blaine?" was the immediate response, and he stood up and looked around. It was Kurt's soft voice, sounding a bit shy.

"Where are you?" he asked, looking around.

"Down here." Blaine peered into the sea of darkness and moved around the piano. He reached the edge of the stage and squinted as Kurt said, "Sorry I'm late."

"It's okay. How come you're coming in from the audience?" he asked, grinning as Kurt finally came into view. He reached out a hand and pulled him up onto the stage, then noticed his hair was damp and his skin was just slightly blue. "Are you okay?"

Kurt nodded and hugged Blaine tightly. He couldn't help but notice that his clothes felt slightly cool and smelled like they'd just been washed. He clung to the boy, squeezing his waist and enjoying the curve of his body under his hands. "I meant to be here on time, I just got held up," Kurt explained, nestling his head against Blaine's shoulder.

Blaine frowned. As much as he liked the brush of Kurt's nose against his neck, he was suddenly concerned. He pushed Kurt away from him by the hips and Kurt very reluctantly loosened his grip on Blaine's shoulders, staring at the place his head had been rather than meeting Blaine's eyes for several seconds. "What happened?" Blaine pressed.

The corner of Kurt's mouth pulled slightly and then he closed his eyes and shrugged. "Slushie. I had to go clean up."

Blaine's eyebrows raised and he repeated, "Slushie?"

Kurt nodded, "It's no big deal. I didn't like that outfit much anyway."

Then Blaine finally noticed what Kurt was wearing; a plain, white, long sleeved shirt that was obviously too big for him and was definitely WalMart brand. His pants were dark jeans that were still damp in places and the blue tint on his skin wasn't a trick of the light. When Blaine looked closely he could see that the food dye really had tinted his skin. He worked his jaw, trying to come up with something reasonable to say and then finally asked, "Whose shirt is that?"

Kurt visibly blushed and sucked in his lips. His arms had fallen limply at his side and it wasn't hard to see how much it was killing him to have to wear something that didn't look absolutely fabulous on him and then admit that aloud. One of their first conversations had been about clothes and Blaine knew how much they meant to him.

Blaine's hands slid up Kurt's chest and down his arms, stopping at the elbows while he continued to examine the boy. "It's Sam's shirt," Kurt said, feigning nonchalance. "He had an extra, I didn't. Stupid of me. Luckily everything I was wearing was from last season because, you know, you can't get blue out of anything."

Blaine let out a breath to calm himself and frowned. "I… I thought slushies were illegal here now?" he tried desperately.

Kurt shrugged and took a step backward, "They are. I mean, they're supposed to be. This is actually the first slushie facial any of us have had since the law went up. That's progress."

"Well… Who did it?"

"Just a jock," Kurt replied, shrugging again.

Blaine floundered, then asked, "Is he getting suspended?"

Kurt gave him a look, half smiling, mostly incredulous. "Blaine, isn't not a big deal."

"Yes it is! How could he do this to you?"

"It's not like things were going to change overnight. I'm used to it. Or, I should be used to it. It was stupid of me to not bring a change of clothes…"

"It is not stupid!" Blaine's face was firm and he could no longer make his eyes meet Kurt's. He was scanning he floor of the stage like it would suddenly come to life and give him answers. "You shouldn't have to, Kurt! You shouldn't have to pack clothes and anticipate getting… getting slushied." His eyes snapped back to Kurt's. "It wasn't that same guy, was it? The one who kissed…"

Kurt stepped back toward him. "No. It wasn't Dave. It wasn't anything, it just held me up. Can we just forget about it?"

"But this is—"

Kurt cut off his argument, "Can you just kiss me and let us forget about it?"

There was no denying that that shut his brain up quickly. He did want to kiss Kurt. He wanted to kiss him and hug him and enjoy being there with him, but every nerve in his body was practically trembling. "Sometimes…I wish you could just come to Dalton and I could protect you," he whispered.

Kurt smiled, a tiny, but real and genuine smile. He touched Blaine's cheek and tilted his head down to catch his boyfriend's eyes. "Just kiss me."

Blaine complied. He pulled Kurt close, cupped the boy's cheek in his hand, paying attention to how cool and recently scrubbed the skin felt, and pressed their lips together. His eyes rolled closed and he slid his other arm around Kurt's waist to hold him close. Even though he tried to focus on how sweet kissing his boyfriend felt, he found himself focused on hating the shirt. He hated it and everything Kurt's wearing it meant. He had to keep swatting away the enticing little voice in his head that was telling him it could all be solved if he just pulled the shirt off of him. He leaned in and parted his lips and felt Kurt do the same.

When they paused for breath Kurt asked softly, "What were you playing?"

"…What?"

"When I walked in. What was that song?"

Blaine could feel his face grow warm. "It was nothing. Just something I'm working on."

Kurt shifted his weight from one foot to the other and ran his fingers across Blaine's shoulder. "It sounded nice."

"It's not finished…"

Kurt nodded slowly and pressed his lips together, staring down at Blaine's. "So… our date…"

"Yes, our date," Blaine repeated, feeling somewhat more relaxed and comfortable again when those big soft eyes glanced at him.

Kurt looked down at himself and sighed, "I'm not dressed for it."

"Then we don't have to go anywhere," Blaine countered. "And you always dress so perfectly, this will just be a…a frame of reference for what a difference the right outfit makes!" he smiled but Kurt's face froze and he immediately tried to tear away.

"Oh my god, I have to go change," Kurt moaned. Blaine caught him around the waist and pulled him in close while he struggled half heartedly to get away. "I didn't realize it was that bad. You can't see me like this."

"Hey! Stop, you look perfect!" Blaine laughed. After a moment of mock struggling, Kurt stopped and Blaine was suddenly aware of the way his body reacted to being pressed against Kurt's back. The way he was holding him, his palms were spread nicely across Kurt's stomach, which was flat and firmer than expected, and his chest which had slightly more definition than Blaine had fantasized about or been able to detect through hugs and layers of clothing. He took the time to appreciate every curve of muscle beneath his fingers and to love that his chin could rest just above Kurt's shoulder blade and he could smell his neck, just below the hairline. Kurt's legs were long and he was slightly taller, so his soft, beautifully shaped ass hit Blaine just below the stomach, and it made him want to press in and up. Suddenly all the feelings were rushing south and Blaine pulled back and turned Kurt around, not wanting to have to address the way his body was reacting to everything he wanted, everything that was right there in front of him and beneath his touch. He didn't want to make Kurt uncomfortable.

When Kurt turned to face him, his eyes were unfocused and his lips slightly parted. His glance darted down from Blaine's eyes to his lips, then he took a breath and blinked, shifting uncomfortably.

Blaine knew what he wanted to say. He wanted to tell Kurt, _"I don't care about the clothes. I just want you. I want you right now and I want you hard. Bad. I want you all the time. Please kiss me again. Let me tear that shirt off you."_ But he tried to clean up the sentiment before he forced it out of his mouth. "Kurt… the clothes don't matter. They're like… they're like sprinkles. On ice cream. They're fun, but they're not the important part. You're what matters, and I'm just… I'm glad you're here."

"Blaine…" he paused and then it was just, "…Me too."

For a moment they were just looking at each other, his hands resting on Kurt's biceps and Kurt's hands touching his elbows. He knew that he could easily spin Kurt around again, wrap his arms back around the boy, lick his cheek to see if it still tasted like whatever flavoring was in the slushie, run his hands up beneath the shirt, feel Kurt's soft skin properly for the first time… and Kurt probably wouldn't even object.

His fantasy cut short when Kurt's expression changed. His head tilted to the side and his eyes closed, eyebrows knitting like something was the matter. "Blaine…?" he started off.

"I have another song," Blaine quickly cut him off. When Kurt opened his eyes and raised his eyebrows in confusion, Blaine continued, knowing he was rambling but hoping it was still enough to make Kurt forget whatever was bothering him and to distract himself from how much he desperately needed to reach down and readjust himself before the discomfort drove him crazy. "Not the song from before, but another song. I… I'll start us off if you'll dance with me. Please?"

Kurt smirked, "Dancing in a WalMart shirt? My dream come true."

"I was kind of hoping you'd dance with _me_, not the shirt," Blaine grinned and Kurt chuckled, shrugged and nodded. They repositioned their arms so that Kurt's left hand was on Blaine's shoulder and Blaine's right was around Kurt's back. Blaine took the opportunity to just shuffle a little in a way that made the way his briefs cling to him slightly more comfortable, then he pulled them together so their feet were staggered and his hip was positioned close to Kurt's crotch. He realized immediately it wasn't a good idea and relaxed the hold when he felt the slight bulge in Kurt's pants and it occurred to him that feeling that would do nothing for his own discomfort. "You'll just have to imagine the saxophone at the beginning," he said, to keep his mind off it.

"What song is this?" Kurt asked, skeptically.

Blaine bit his lip before answering, "It's… maybe not the most appropriate song… for right now. But I would still like to dance to it… with you."

Kurt tried to suppress the smile that was growing in his cheeks, but the sparkle in his eye betrayed him. "Do I know it?"

"You might…" Blaine whispered, "I'll hum the intro."

As he hummed, they began to sway. Kurt wasn't sure if he recognized it, or if he was just being lulled into infatuation by the timbre of Blaine's vocal chords. He lay his head down on Blaine's shoulder and wondered if this is how couples felt at prom, slow dancing with their dates.

As the introduction built into the lyrics, Blaine gripped Kurt's hand and Kurt could feel Blaine's hip move against him. It was lucky that he had taken an interest in dance and knew both how to lead and follow fairly well, because he reacted just in time as Blaine began to lead the steps.

_"I feel so unsure,"_ Blaine sang. Kurt lifted his head from Blaine's shoulder to looked into his eyes. His voice was low and thick. Kurt's lips parted. _"As I take your hand and lead you to the dance floor." _He was watching Blaine's lips like he could see the words coming out of them and was drawing them into his own mouth. _"As the music dies, something in your eyes calls to mind a silver screen and all its sad goodbyes…"_

Kurt smiled and cut in, taking over the music while Blaine led the steps. Of course he knew this song, and Blaine was right; it wasn't the most appropriate song for the moment, but it definitely encapsulated what he'd felt those two weeks, cutting Blaine off and feeling like a terrible person. _"I'm never gonna dance again,"_ he sang. Blaine didn't even try to harmonize. He just let Kurt take over the chorus. _"Guilty feet have got no rhythm. Though it's easy to pretend, I know you're not a fool…" _In a lot of ways, it was also exactly what he was feeling. Until the slushie hit him right after school, all he'd had on his mind all day was that folder and the articles Finn had tried to show him about Blaine. Knowing that it was out there, and that Finn had it and that _he_ knew about it now, he couldn't shake the feeling that he'd betrayed Blaine's trust, or that maybe Finn could still be right, and he felt even guiltier for thinking that. _"I should have known better than to cheat a friend and waste this chance that I've been given, so I'm never gonna dance again, the way I danced with you…"_

Blaine dipped him back, humming the saxophone's part again. Kurt giggled slightly, more as a cover for the guilt than out of mirth. He was spun around before being locked into the dance hold again.

_"Time can never mend the careless whispers of a good friend,"_ Blaine took up again, taking them in a tight circle and then resting the side of his face against Kurt's cheek while he sang on, _"To the heart and mind, ignorance is kind, there's no comfort for the truth, pain is all you find…"_

This time they harmonized through the chorus. Kurt couldn't help but notice the way their faces pressed together, so close, but suddenly so insistent on not facing each other. His heartbeat quickened. Blaine started in on the next verse, _"Tonight the music seems so loud, I wish that we could lose this crowd…" _then Kurt cut in.

_"Maybe it's better this way, we'd hurt each other with the things we want to say."_

Blaine came back in, _"We could have been so good together…"_

_ "We could have lived this dance forever,"_ Kurt sang back, noticing that their voices were dropping away into murmurs even at the crescendo of the song. _"But now, who's gonna dance with me?..."_

_ "_Please stay_…"_ Blaine didn't even sing it, he just whispered it right against Kurt's ear, like a prayer. It struck through Kurt's heart how much of a break up song it was and suddenly he didn't want that. He desperately didn't want that. He leaned against Blaine's cheek, eyes wide. They'd stopped dancing. They'd stopped moving, they'd stopped singing. Kurt dropped Blaine's hand. Both of his arms snaked around the back of Blaine's shoulders and he pulled him close. He closed his eyes and focusing on Blaine's breath against his neck.

Several seconds passed. Blaine's arms found their way around Kurt's back and they just held each other. Finally Blaine said, "Sorry, that song was a bad idea."

Kurt pulled back, making Blaine look at him, taking his cheeks in each hand and looking into his eyes before kissing his nose then pressing their foreheads together. "No. It was beautiful, Blaine…"

Blaine wanted to feel calm and wonderful and relaxed the way he normally felt with Kurt, and he loved the pressure of their foreheads pressed together, like they were sharing thoughts, but instead he just hated that shirt again. He hated that Kurt had needed the shirt, he hated that it was some other guy's, someone he couldn't immediately put a face to, probably someone beautiful. He hated that Kurt's friends meant so much to him but had still forced them apart. He hated that they hadn't stopped the slushie, or the bullying, or that kiss… he hated that look Finn had given him after the New Directions won on Saturday. He hated that thinking about all that made certain parts of his body ache with recollection. He hated that he'd forgotten the lyrics of the song were so painful before he'd sung them and that "_There's no comfort in the truth,"_ was so bitterly true and obvious. He hated it when he realized where the last place he'd heard that song was…

Kurt's lips were touching his, softly, gently. It was a reassuring peck that lingered and made Blaine's lips tingle in response. He forced his eyes to watch Kurt's as those soft hands left his cheeks and ran down his neck and shoulders. "Blaine…" he started again, "There's something I have to tell you…"

The panic started in his chest and spread outwards. He kept telling himself, _"Calm down. Calm down. Calm down. Blaine, calm down. It's going to be okay." _but his palms started sweating. His breath grew short. Whatever Kurt had to say, whatever he was thinking, suddenly it all sounded like a break up. He clung tighter to that damn white shirt. "What?" he asked, sounding shaky and afraid.

"But before I say it," Kurt amended quickly, "Blaine…"

"Yes?" just as shaky and scared as before. His eyes were closed tightly now, trying to keep out the storm.

"Blaine," he said more softly, and he touched Blaine's cheek gently again and waited until Blaine opened his eyes to continue, "You just need to know… I don't want to freak you out…"

Blaine was already freaked out. He felt so freaked that all his muscles were coiled and tense and he was focusing on keeping himself calm enough that he didn't try to lash out when it hit him.

"But… I think I love you, Blaine." When no response came after several seconds, Kurt swallowed a sudden lump and continued. "So I think you should know—"

Blaine's arms were up around Kurt's back, over his shoulder, wrapping him up, holding him tightly. His lips nearly smashed into Kurt's, all the energy that had been building up released into a powerful kiss and the _"Oh thank god, thank god, thank god, thank god,"_ mantra flying through his head manifested itself in, "Kurt, I love you too," shot in between kisses and breaths.

Kurt giggled a little as Blaine's lips left his mouth and hungrily attached to his cheek and jaw before stopping so he could press his nose against Kurt's neck and just hold him and breathe. "Blaine…" Kurt tried again.

"Damn, Kurt, I was so scared," Blaine whispered, "For a second there… I was so scared you were going to say something else."

It took a moment for Kurt's confusion to register what the "something else" was and then he smiled, running his hand smoothly over the back of Blaine's hair. "I told you I'd never say goodbye to you," he reminded his boyfriend.

"I know," Blaine agreed, the smiled, moving back to stare into Kurt's green eyes. He was so glad that the auditorium seemed to be an unpopular place, and that no one, not even a janitor had walked in on them yet. "I guess "Careless Whisper" just had me feeling all emotional."

Smiling, nodding, Kurt became serious suddenly again, "But there _is_ something I need to tell you."

"Okay," Blaine agreed, confident that at least he had Kurt. At least the exorbitant euphoria he'd felt all day was something he'd be able to feel again.

"It's about Finn…" Kurt continued.

"Okay…" Suddenly Blaine's mouth felt dry.

"Can we sit down?" Kurt asked softly.

Blaine frowned. "Kurt?" he asked, but they sat down anyway, not on the stage floor, but crossing all the way over to the piano bench. Kurt took both of Blaine's hands in his.

"Blaine. Finn has a folder of… information about you."

Everything shut down for a second. In Blaine's mind, clocks slowed to hollow, echoing ticks and everything waited for reality to catch up with what Kurt had just said. "…What?"

"He said it was the reason we shouldn't be together," Kurt's voice was soft and level, "He tried to get me to look at it, and I didn't. I didn't read anything, Blaine…"

"What is it?" Blaine's voice was soft and sharp.

"Hmm?"

"What's in the folder?"

Kurt took a breath. The grip on his hands was becoming tighter and he stroked his thumbs against the back of Blaine's hands to try to calm him down. "Information. Things he shouldn't have about you. Records… newspaper clippings…"

"… About me?" Kurt just nodded. Blaine was visibly tensing. His mind was racing. "How… how do you know what they are? I thought you didn't read them."

"I didn't. I just saw them. He handed it to me and I swear, I didn't read anything."

"How… how could he have that? Why would he…"

"I don't know," Kurt said softly, "But Blaine…"

"Now he knows," Blaine stood up suddenly, dropping Kurt's hands. "Now he knows everything! How could he?" His voice was rising and Kurt flinched visibly. He could see how uncomfortable his boyfriend looked and there was that damn too-big t-shirt, but his heartbeat was racing now and his mind was going crazy pouring over everything that could possibly have been included, everything Finn could possibly know, everything Kurt may have accidentally seen.

"He had no right," Kurt agreed, "I'll get it from him and I'll get it back to you. Or I'll destroy it. I don't want to know those things about you until you're ready to tell me."

Blaine knew that Kurt was speaking, but all he could hear was the watery sound of his own heart beat in his ears. He had already come up with four good ways to maim or mangle Finn Hudson. How dare he look into his life and judge him like that? They'd only spoken to each other a few times! How dare he dredge this up?

Blaine's fight or flight reflex had kicked in and he was firmly set to flight. He didn't want to be here anymore to find out whether or not Kurt knew about the time he'd been hospitalized, the trauma, the injuries he'd sustained, the therapy, the reactions he'd had afterwards, the change in therapy, the fear, classes, problems he'd had when he finally transferred to Dalton, the things he was so ashamed of and had taken him so long and so many visits to professionals and lessons and so much therapy to suppress.

"I have to go," Blaine said sharply, grabbing his coat and ignoring the scarf when it slipped to the floor.

Kurt scooped it up and stood, calling out to him as he blindly ran into a curtain, then batted it out of the way as he made his way out the same door he'd entered from. "Blaine! Wait!"

"Don't follow me!" he warned.

Blaine slammed his way out the door. He had to get out of there as fast as possible. Both the desperate want to punch something and make the problem go away and knowing he needed to escape it and remove himself non-confrontationally were throbbing through him.

He could hear the footsteps quickening behind him and he sped up too, just slightly, a pang of fear clouding his vision as he flashed back to lines from one of the classes he'd been sent to, a rape prevention class in which he'd been the only guy. He felt like he was being chased, like he was being trapped, and here he was in public school again. He had to remind himself that he'd be okay. He'd been to those self-defense classes they offered young women. He'd taken up boxing. He'd be okay. He'd come out alive.

Rows and rows of lockers. It was like he was back at his old school again. Back in the places he couldn't handle. He couldn't force himself to remember where he was or what he was charging away from.

A hand touched his shoulder and he didn't even think. He spun around, catching the arm and wheeling, pulling its owner off of him and slamming him hard into the lockers.

The clatter rang through the empty halls, echoing and resounding back. His eyes went wide.

Kurt's eyes were closed tight, he fell back against the lockers for stability after the initial shock had caused him to bounce back off of them. His face was screwed up in pain and his teeth were clenched hard. His knees wobbled and he bent forward slightly, gasping for breath, taking the arm that Blaine had grabbed and cradling it with his other hand.

Blaine backed away and stood, shocked, in the middle of the hall, then he turned away from Kurt toward the row of lockers opposite, and punched the closest one hard with his bare fist.

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><p><strong>AN**- Was that wait worth it? I think so. This chapter went all kinds of places I wasn't expecting. Hope you enjoyed!


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N**- I've been reading Neaf's new story on scarves and coffee dot net, _No Envy, No Fear_, and it's brilliant. I wasn't really on board with the Dom/Sub culture, but I discussed it at length with my roommate, and neaf's such a good writer. It's all turning out to be brilliant and I'm beginning to accept it the AU and all the things that go into it.

This chapter was a lot easier to write than the last one, but it took a lot more thinking and discussing… but hopefully you'll all be onboard. I know you weren't expecting the last chapter's ending (who was?) and it came as a surprise, but with our excitement for the next episode mounting (have you seen the spoilers? I'm such a mess over them!) maybe this chapter will relieve the tension I wrote into the previous one. (Do not hold your breath.)

Some trigger warnings this chapter. There's a discussion about abuse and it also mentions self harm. Just warning you...

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><p><strong>Just Like the White Winged Dove<strong>

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><p>Kurt's vision corrected slowly as he refilled the air that had been forced out of his lungs with the blow. He could hear Blaine punched the locker again and again with the same fist, and he forced his legs to work. He stumbled over and grabbed Blaine's elbow, letting go and backing away in time to avoid another reactionary attack.<p>

"Blaine," he croaked, gasping for another breath.

It wasn't hard to see that Kurt was terrified. It was in his eyes, and Blaine couldn't blame him because he was just as terrified of himself now. His knuckles were bleeding and it terrified him how good that felt. He'd been through classes and sessions, he knew the self harm was not okay, he'd gone through exercises and taken up boxing specifically to help with it. He'd spent so much time being so upset and now he'd hurt Kurt. He'd hurt the boy who meant more to him than anything. The boy he'd just, _just_ told he loved. That beautiful boy, that beautiful, soft, sweet face was wincing in pain that _he'd_ inflicted and the horror of what that meant and the guilt was rising up in a strangle hold. All he wanted to do was to take his bloody knuckles and slam them into the locker again.

Kurt felt tired and shaky and was fighting to recover from dizziness. He reached out and took Blaine by the wrist with both hands and just looked at him, seriously and right in the eye. His big, scared eyes were trying to hide behind the serious expression on his face as he held Blaine's wrist gently, avoiding the blood, then led him to pick up both the discarded coat and dropped scarf before silently leading him down the hall.

Blaine felt awful. He felt like the worst person in the entire world. He felt all the things that were so carefully dealt with, repressed, were all coming back to taunt him in waves. He just kept murmuring, "I'm so sorry. You shouldn't have followed me. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry."

Kurt lead him into the closest boy's bathroom, took him to the sink and stuck Blaine's fist under the tap while he turned on the cold water to run over it. Blaine didn't even flinch. He just watched his blood run pink down the drain with the water, repeating the words over and over.

Finally Kurt whispered hoarsely, "It's okay," and Blaine could feel himself lose it. He wiped his eyes with his free hand to stop the sting from the tears.

"No, it's not. It isn't…"

"Just let me look at your hand," Kurt commanded. He turned off the tap and pulled Blaine's hand out from under the spout and dabbed it with a folded paper towel. He balanced himself on the edge of one of the sinks and looked carefully at the wound, then he ran it under the water again, this time applying some soap first, which stung, but Blaine tried not to react or pull away. Kurt let the cold water wash all the soap away before getting a clean paper towel folded length-wise and pressing it to the wound securely, holding it with both hands and wrapping it around so it would stay put.

Blaine couldn't help but notice the way Kurt's hands shook, or the way he avoided looking Blaine in the eye while he made sure his hand was cleaned properly. When Kurt pressed his lips to the back of Blaine's hand, the part that hadn't been hurt, he closed his eyes and whispered, "I'm so sorry, Kurt."

Once again, the answer he got was, "It's okay," and he had to insist it wasn't, his voice shaking while he did.

"You were hurt," Kurt reminded him. "You were upset and you had every right to be. I shouldn't have followed you. You told me not to."

"That's no excuse," Blaine whispered.

"I know," Kurt whispered back.

Blaine shuddered, "Finn… Finn's right… you shouldn't be with me."

"He's not right," Kurt said.

"Yes, he is!" Blaine realized his voice was rising and shot it back down again. He was covering up the fear and the anguish with agression, the way he'd always dealt it. He couldn't stop feeling ashamed of himself. "I hurt you…"

"I'm okay."

Blaine's lips parted and his chest felt like it was caving in. "…You're not…"

Kurt tried to smile. "I'm fine."

"Let me see?" Blaine didn't move, he just stared at him. He knew exactly how hard he'd thrown Kurt into the locker. He wanted to know that it wasn't worse than he thought.

Kurt ran his tongue across the back of his teeth. He didn't want to show Blaine the damage he'd done. He didn't want him to see what he found out later when he got home that night before taking his shower; that there were red marks all down his back, and the shoulder that hit the lockers first was bruised badly, as were his shoulder blades from where they'd struck. One of them had even broken the skin and showed a small scrape that hurt to touch. The arm that Blaine had grabbed was slightly bruised and his wrist hurt when he moved it. He was lucky that his arm hadn't been dislocated. Showering was painful and he had to take several pain killers before bed and sleep on his stomach.

"We have to break up," Blaine whispered after Kurt recoiled.

"What?"

"Finn was right. We have to break up," Blaine said, more loudly now. His eyes were shimmering from the tears he was trying to blink back.

Kurt walked toward the door and Blaine's eyes followed him desperately. He grabbed a chair that was sitting in the corner, brought it over, and made Blaine sit. Then he took Blaine's hand again. "Finn is not right. Spread out your fingers. Let me make sure you didn't break anything."

Blaine tried to comply, but his hand was shaking mercilessly. His shoulders shuddered as Kurt's fingers slid beneath his to help him, still pressing the paper towel against the wounds. "I hurt you, Kurt…"

"It's not that bad," Kurt tried to insist.

"That's no excuse."

"I know."

"I hurt you."

"I know."

Kurt's passive demeanor was frustrating. Blaine wished he were in a position to either yell or apologize, to hold Kurt, to deal with how badly he'd inevitably hurt him. He was trying not to just break down and sob. "I hurt you. I care about you so much and I still hurt you. I swore I never would, not for anything, but I did. I don't deserve you. I'm no good for you… We can't be together, Kurt. Finn knew. He knew that you can't be with someone as… v…as violent as I am."

"You are not violent," Kurt muttered, keeping his eyes on Blaine's now extended fingers, touching them gently and watching them react.

Blaine took a breath, "Let me see your back."

Kurt dropped Blaine's hand and flinched away as he reached out.

Blaine nodded slowly, wiping a few tears off his cheek. "You have to break up with me, Kurt."

Kurt snorted, but he was no longer touching Blaine and his sore arm was tucked slightly behind him. "What? No."

"You have to," Blaine insisted, "Please…Because I can't do it. I can't leave you. You're the most amazing person I've ever met… But you can't be with me. You can't be with someone who hurts you. You shouldn't be. Not ever."

"So, don't hurt me."

There was a silence as the words built up and Blaine finally spat, "I already have! I'm… I'm abusive!"

"Stop it, Blaine!" Kurt shouted. There were tears in his eyes too and he was hunching his shoulders just slightly. Sam's white shirt was wrinkled and the sleeves were pushed up off Kurt's forearms, but sliding back down. "I'm a guy too. I can take being pushed around a little. What do you think? That I'm fragile? That you'll break me? Damnit, Blaine! You want Finn to win? After everything we've been through? After how much you mean to me?"

"Kurt… You can't be in an abusive relationship. This is pointless…"

"You didn't abuse me, Blaine. You told me to stay away and I didn't listen."

"You have to end it!"

Kurt kicked the coat that was lying on the bathroom floor, probably soaking up germs. "Stop telling me what to do!" Blaine's jaw snapped shut. "I don't care, Blaine! I don't care what you've done. If you've hurt people in the past… I just wasn't expecting it. I don't care that you threw me into a locker. You got mad. _I_ followed you. _I_ should have known better. I should have…" he trailed off.

"What?" Blaine said dryly, "Known that I've got violent tendencies? Should have read that… damn file?"

Kurt just breathed deeply for a few moments, glaring at the sink that was still glistening from the water that had been running in it just moments before. He couldn't tell if he was mad, or upset, or if it was just the throb of pain up his back and shoulders, but he was having trouble keeping back tears and thinking rationally. He knew what he _wanted _to happen…

Finally he looked back at Blaine and scooped up the hand that had dropped to Blaine's knee, and resumed his examination of it. "I should have never brought it up."

Blaine snorted, then sniffed and wiped his cheeks with the back of his hand. "What, and lied about it?"

Kurt's voice was very soft and steady, "I should have realized that there were files in that folder for a reason. I wasn't going to lie to you, or pretend it never happened, but… I should have known that whatever it was… wasn't okay. I should have known that bringing it up could trigger you… set you off…"

"How?" Blaine asked softly, "It's not like you knew. It doesn't change what I did."

"No, but… I could have brought it up more gently. Blaine…" he crouched in front of him, not quite willing to let his jeans touch the floor of the bathroom, and took both his hands. "I'm so sorry. All of this… this is _my_ fault."

"It's _not_ your fault—" Blaine tried to cut in.

"I'm so sorry," he repeated, looking Blaine directly in the eye, then letting go of one of Blaine's hands so he could wipe a tear off his own cheek. Blaine reached out and caught the next one with the index finger his uninjured hand. He whispered Kurt's name as Kurt sniffed and moved to readjust the paper towel bandage to be more secure.

They stayed there in silence for a moment, Blaine's heart beating hard in this chest, but as long as he could focus on the brush of Kurt's fingers against his skin, his mind stayed calm. He took a deep, calming breath, "Kurt?"

Kurt looked up and raised his eyebrows but didn't make a sound.

"Do you remember after Regionals… after you won… you asked me to forgive you?" Kurt's eyes dropped back toward Blaine's lap and his mouth set straight. "I didn't get to say anything, but… there was nothing to forgive, Kurt." One of Kurt's eyebrows twitched. "It hurt to be apart from you… at the time… but it's what you needed to do, and I understood. You didn't need to ask forgiveness for that, you don't need it, but you have it, Kurt… You always have it."

Kurt smiled and pressed his lips to the back of Blaine's hand again, then stood up. He nodded, but was watching the stalls now rather than Blaine's face. Blaine reached out and touched Kurt's hand opposite his own, letting their fingers lace together between them.

"Can you ever forgive _me_?" he asked.

Kurt smiled, just a little at first, then it grew tightly in his cheeks and Blaine watched the dimples in his cheeks emerge. Kurt stepped so that he was directly in front of Blaine, let go of both his hands, and cupped them under his chin. Then he tilted Blaine's head up and pressed his lips against Blaine's forehead. "Same answer," he whispered.

Blaine closed his eyes. He could feel tears run down his cheeks. Kurt's thumbs carefully wiped them away, then he moved and Blaine's eyes opened to follow him.

"Now, let's get out of the boy's bathroom," Kurt said, scooping up the things that were on the floor. "It smells in here. Honestly I should have taken you into the girl's room." Blaine reached out to accept his coat from Kurt, but Kurt held it tight against his chest, using it to cover up the arm that hurt. "I can carry it."

"Kurt…"

"And I'll keep your scarf," he said, wrapping it around his neck with a smirk, "So I can use it as leverage if you try to just run off and leave me." Blaine laughed bitterly and stood up, reaching for it again, but Kurt stepped past him and headed for the door, holding Blaine's things. "My bag is still in my locker, so we have to stop there before we leave." He opened the door and stepped out of it, holding it open for Blaine, who followed after dragging the chair back to its place in the corner.

"The scarf doesn't match your shirt," Blaine teased once they were outside the bathroom and the door was shut. He reached over and tugged the bottom of the scarf gently with his good hand, not enough to tighten it, but more as an excuse to stand so close to Kurt. He wanted to collapse into him and cry into his chest, even though the guilt was begging him to ask about Kurt's back again, to make sure he really was okay.

Kurt smiled and leaned forward for a kiss, which Blaine hesitated before giving him. Their lips pressed together gently, and then Kurt pulled back and whispered so that Blaine could still feel Kurt's lips moving against his, "It'll match what I'm wearing to coffee on Wednesday."

Blaine's eyes went wide. "We-we're still meeting for coffee?"

"Of course! Now let's get my bag. It's probably time we both got home." He took Blaine's arm while they walked down the hall.

"Should I drive you home?" Blaine asked after they'd stiffly passed the place where Kurt had hit the locker. Whoever owned the locker on the opposite side would be surprised by the dent in the morning.

Kurt opened him mouth to speak, then wet his lips before he said, "I was going to ask you the same thing."

"I'm fine to drive," Blaine insisted, pressing his injured hand closer to his side. "Let me take you."

Kurt nodded. "Okay."

When they stopped at Kurt's locker he pulled out his bag and slung it over his shoulder, much more carefully than he normally would have, and turned his face away so that Blaine couldn't see him wince as the strap pressed against his back. Once they had it, they left the school and both climbed into Blaine's car. Kurt knew that it was probably better that he didn't try to drive himself, although he didn't say that it was because his stomach felt empty like he might puke at any time and it hurt so much every time he moved his shoulders that he got spots in his vision.

Blaine's stomach was in knots. Every time he looked over at Kurt he could see his discomfort. "Are you sure you're okay?" he asked gently when they'd stopped at a stop sign.

Kurt's eyes were closed when he asked, and he opened them to glance over at Blaine with a sad smile, "I'm fine. Please trust me."

When they reached Kurt's house, Blaine turned off the engine and turned to him. "I'm so sorry I hurt you, Kurt."

Kurt smiled. "I'm alright."

"…Are we okay?"

Kurt hummed and thought for a moment. "… Blaine? Not today, not right now, but someday… someday will you tell me what happened back there? To help me understand?"

Blaine's eyes got big and scared and his lips parted, but he pressed them closed again and then said, "Yes."

Kurt smiled and touched Blaine's hand where it rested on the console. "Then we're okay!" He leaned in for another quick kiss, then climbed out of the car, trying to be quick and fluid, despite how it hurt to move, and attempting to hide his back, although Blaine already caught a glimpse. Through the thin, white shirt he could see that Kurt's skin was already discolored.

Blaine waited until Kurt waved, went inside, and the door had been closed for several minutes before he started his car again and drove home, trying to remember he needed to properly bandage his hand, like Kurt had suggested, once he got there. He was going over lines in his head, trying to remind himself not to beat himself up over what happened. He'd need to dig his psychiatrist's number out. He'd need to go in as soon as possible.

Kurt went straight to his room, being unable to bring himself to look his dad in the eye, and had to sneak down in the middle of the night to get a bite to eat when he was unable to sleep and finally couldn't take his hunger anymore.

When his alarm went off Tuesday morning he groaned and was barely able to get up. He went to the mirror and checked his back. It had gone from mostly red to mostly bruised. He took a hot shower with the water on as softly as it could go, then texted Blaine, _I forgot to make sure you got home okay last night._ before going downstairs to tell his dad that he was staying home sick from school.

"What's up, Kurt?" Burt asked once he'd announced it, grabbing a cup of lowfat Greek yogurt and digging in immediately to balance out how little he'd eaten the night before. "You've been acting weird for a while now, and then there was that fight with Finn that no one's talking about and now you say you're sick? You know I'm just here to help, right? That you can talk to me?"

Kurt sighed and sat down in the chair beside his dad, who was eating his own breakfast, and leaned his head against his shoulder. "I know, dad. And I do, I need to talk to you."

"This isn't all a dating thing, is it?" Kurt shook his head, "Is it bullying? Because you know if it is we need to fix that. You can't be missing school because of bullies."

Kurt shook his head. "No. It's not that. Bullies are all taken care of. I talked to the guy who was giving me trouble, we sat in Miss Pillsbury's office and talked and now it's okay."

"Good! I'm proud of you, Kurt," Burt said, taking a bite of his breakfast.

Kurt pressed his forehead against his dad's shoulder. "Are you working this morning?"

Burt chewed and then patted Kurt's knee. "I can go in a few hours late."

Kurt smiled, "Are Finn and Carole still here?"

"Carole had an early shift. Finn will probably be down in a few minutes."

"Okay. I'm going to take something to feel better," he didn't mention that what he had in mind were pain killers for his back, "Then I'll go up to my room and eat my yogurt. I'll come back down after Finn's left. Can we meet on the couch?"

Burt nodded and smiled. "I'll be there. Do you want any toast or anything to go with your yogurt?"

Kurt considered for a moment, then nodded, thanked his dad, who got up to make it, and headed for the medicine cabinet, then to his room.

On his phone there was a message from Blaine, _I did. Are you okay?_

_ Yes,_ he lied, _What about you? Did your hand swell up?_ Then he sent a quick message to Mercedes to let her know he wouldn't be at school, and one to Rachel to pick up his homework for him. Then the response from Blaine came.

_Nope. It looks like it'll be fine thanks to you for taking care of me._

_ I'm glad._ He replied.

_Me too._

Burt brought the toast up, knocking on the door and giving Kurt just enough time to lower his shirt and step away from the mirror before walking in, handing him the plate and giving him a status report on Finn's progress through breakfast.

Kurt ate the toast slowly while staring at the last text from Blaine and waited until he was sure he heard Finn's car leave before he walked downstairs. He'd changed into soft fleece pajama pants and a well-worn t-shirt with a big, soft hoodie over it. He figured that if he were going to stay inside the house all day anyway he might as well dress for maximum comfort in order to heal faster.

Burt was already on the couch flipping through the TV guide when Kurt walked downstairs, padding about in his slippers. He returned his plate to the kitchen before joining his dad on the couch.

They sat facing each other in silence for a moment before Burt prompted, "Feel any better?"

Kurt shrugged with his head, careful not to move his shoulders.

"So, what'daya want to talk about?"

Kurt sighed, "I think I need to recap a bit."

"I'm all ears."

"Well, starting… starting in December I had some problems with a bully. The one Puckerman punched."

Burt nodded, "Thought so…"

"Anyway, I managed to work it out, like I said—"

"I'm proud of you for that. But you know you could have come and talked to me about it?"

"I know… Actually, things have gotten a lot better at school. There's a lot more bullying awareness and prevention stuff. Mr. Schuester started it, and… and Blaine helped me a lot too. We made a list… the bullying has practically stopped. Poof!"

"…Except?" Burt prompted.

Kurt closed his eyes, "Except…" He needed to stop beating around the bush. "Except Finn."

"Finn?" Burt raised his eyebrows and sat up straighter. "What the hell's he done?"

Kurt quickly amended it, "It's not like he's done anything physical or anything…"

"What's he done?"

Kurt's shoulders slumped. Even with what was possibly an overdose of painkillers, his back still stung where the skin had broken and it throbbed where bone pressed skin when he shifted. "He's been trying to break up Blaine and me."

Burt frowned, "Why? I thought those two got along."

"That's what I thought! But his has this folder of stuff and he thinks that Blaine's violent…"

"_Is _Blaine violent?" Burt asked, pointedly.

"No!" Kurt said, entirely too fast. Then he sighed again.

"No?"

"That's what I want to talk to you about, Dad. What if… what if he _were _violent? What if there were things in his past that were really bad and what if… what if he ended up hurting me?"

"_Has_ he hurt you?" Burt was boring holes into Kurt with his eyes, but Kurt avoided his gaze. His voice dropped to a whisper.

"Just… what if?"

Burt thought about it for a few seconds, then shifted his position on the couch. "I think you're going to have to be more specific, kid."

There was a long silence, then Kurt asked, "What constitutes an abusive relationship?"

Burt sat up straight and touched Kurt's shoulder. He tried hard not to flinch. "Kurt, I don't know what's going on, but you asking questions like that… Buddy, that's scaring me."

"Sorry," Kurt said, "I just wondered." He started to stand up, but Burt caught his arm and coaxed him down again.

"Hey there, if we're gonna talk about this then we're gonna talk about it." He got Kurt to look him in the eye, but lost his gaze as soon as he asked. "Do you think you're in an abusive relationship with Blaine?"

"No," Kurt answered.

Burt sighed, "Kurt, you're gonna have to give me more than that."

Kurt decided to back up again. He didn't want to have to lie to his dad about anything. Deep down he knew that all he wanted was to know that it was okay to keep dating Blaine. He needed to hear that from Burt. "Sunday night, Finn tried to show me this file he has about Blaine."

"…What's in this file?"

"I don't know. I didn't really look, but he must have stalked him quite a bit to find it all. Or… he said Rachel found it, but she has no problem with Blaine, Dad. She likes him. It's just Finn trying to sabotage everything."

"Okay, calm down. So you saw this file?"

"That's what we were fighting about. I told him he shouldn't have it."

"Well, probably not, but maybe he was just looking out for you."

"That's what he said, but Dad… I mean, there were police reports in it and a psychiatric report… I didn't read it, but based on what Finn said…"

"… You...?"

"…I just…This has been going on for a while now. Finn's been really weird and trying to turn the glee club against Blaine and I guess I… I just…"

"You started having doubts?"

Kurt nodded and started picking at his fingernails. "And then I couldn't _not _tell Blaine. So… I did. Yesterday." Again, Burt was silent. Kurt could feel tears welling up in his eyes. He couldn't even lean back and sink into the couch because his back hurt. "And he freaked out, Dad."

Burt pulled Kurt in with one arm, aware now of how Kurt turned himself to allow the least possible amount of contact. "Hey, it's okay. He freaked out how? Did he hurt you?"

"He said… he had to go. He didn't want me to follow him, but I _did_. … And he said Finn was right. He said we had to break up," his voice cracked and broke.

"Is that why you're staying home? You two broke up?"

Kurt shook his head against his dad's shoulder. "No. We didn't break up."

Burt sighed and closed his eyes. He'd wanted a glimpse into his son's life for quite a while now, but now that he was getting it in shattered bits and pieces it was almost more than he wanted to know. Not knowing everything was almost worse than knowing nothing at all.

"I think," Burt started slowly, and Kurt sniffed and grew very still to listen, "That an abusive relationship is one where you know you've gotta get out of it, even just a little bit, but you don't think you _can_. Like, you don't feel like you can come and talk to _me_ about it. Or if you're scared of what might happen if you _did_ break up. Maybe… if something that he does, that _anyone_ does, or says, or whatever, makes you feel worthless or like you don't matter, that's how you'd know. Because you matter, Kurt. You matter a lot, and if you ever feel like someone's trying to tell you that you don't, then that person's wrong and you don't need to be with him. And… and if they hit you, or they try to get you to do something you don't like, then that's abuse. You're a smart kid, Kurt, and you're sweet and trusting, but you've never been stupid. I think that… if you're ever in a position where you're being manipulated or hurt, you'll know, and you'll _know_ what needs to be done. And… if that happens, you'll come and talk to me, okay?" Kurt nodded. His eyes were closed. Burt leaned his head against Kurt's. "_Did_ he hurt you, Kurt?"

Kurt sucked in his lips and chewed on the inside of his cheek. "…He didn't mean to."

Burt's pulse quickened and there was suddenly a ringing in his ears. He could feel Kurt's fingers digging into his sleeve. "Show me."

"He told me not to follow him, Dad," Kurt said, not moving. "He freaked out and he tried to get away from me and I chased him. It wasn't like he meant to… I think it was self defense, but he…" he took a breath, "I hit the lockers. I mean… and he was so upset… that'd he'd hurt me. He just kept apologizing and saying we had to break up."

"Let me see."

Kurt moved away from his dad, but didn't show him yet, "It doesn't hurt as bad as it looks."

"Yeah, right. If it didn't hurt, you wouldn't have stayed home from school. And did he give you a ride? Is that why your car isn't here?"

"Yeah…"

"Alright. Lemme see."

"Dad… with your heart…"

"Kurt, you're giving me palpitations making me sit here worrying. Show me how bad it is."

Kurt chewed on his bottom lip. Very slowly he pulled off both his hoodie and t-shirt, then turned around so his dad could see his back.

"Shit." Burt hissed, and Kurt could feel the couch move and hear his dad's breathing change. He was trying to stay calm. "Anywhere else?" he tried not to snap.

"He grabbed my arm. It's not bad. It's just… I mean, he took self defense for years. I don't think he meant to throw me like that."

Burt very gingerly touched Kurt's shoulder just under where the laceration was. "Does he _know_ how bad it is?"

"No," Kurt whispered. "He wanted to, but I just kept telling him I was okay."

"You're _not_ okay, Kurt."

"I know."

"Well, this certainly puts me on Finn's side."

"Dad!" Kurt turned his head and looked pleadingly at Burt.

"Have _you_ seen this?"

"Yes," Kurt mumbled. Not only had he seen it, but he could feel it, painfully, all the time.

Burt took a deep, calming breath and let it out slowly, "What have you taken for it?" Kurt listed off how many pain killers he'd taken since he first got home and Burt just nodded along. "Have you put ice on it?"

"I will."

"And Carole's gotta look at it when she gets home."

Kurt nodded, "Okay."

"Is there anything else? Did he do anything else?"

Kurt carefully pulled his shirt back on with his dad's help. He knew he looked like he'd been beaten severely, but it he was sure it was partly having such a pale skin tone. He'd been bruised by being shoved into lockers before. He sometimes even bruised from sleeping strangely. There was a good chance someone with thicker skin wouldn't have been bruised at all, he thought. "He punched a locker, afterwards," he mumbled. "I cleaned up his hand. He didn't mean to. He was upset."

Burt was breathing heavily. Honestly he wanted to drive over to that fancy-ass school and teach the kid a lesson for hurting his son, but he knew that'd only be worse. "You know this doesn't make me want to let you see him again."

"I know, Dad," Kurt whispered. "But I want to."

"Do you know where that folder is?"

Kurt had his hoodie on again now and appreciated how soft and secure it felt. "It's probably still in Finn's room. I'm going to take it and give it back to Blaine."

"Are you gonna read it?"

Kurt shook his head. "I shouldn't know those things before Blaine tells me. I know he had a rough past. I know he had bully trouble. He told me he got beat up… I'm just going to get it back for him. When he wants me to know, he'll tell me."

Burt closed his eyes, "Kurt, you know, you're probably the best kid ever, and it's not hard to see what that Blaine guy sees in you…"

Kurt snorted and rolled his eyes. Sometimes he wasn't sure, but he knew exactly what he saw in Blaine, and he knew that he'd seen it clearly when Blaine was pleading with him to break up because he didn't want to hurt him again.

"… But I don't like how this thing with him is going."

"I know, but I don't think…"

"I want him to come over here."

"…Right now?"

"Well, after he gets out of school. That'd be best. Rather than you two going out, I want him to come here and I want to look him in the eye. I want to hear his side of the story."

"I don't know, Dad…"

"I'm not asking you to humor me. I'm telling you how it's going to be. We clear?"

Kurt hung his head a little, but nodded.

"Alright. I love you, Kurt. You're important to me, and I want you to be safe."

"I know. I love you too."

"How's about you lie down on the couch and watch some TV, and I'll get a few ice packs for your back. It looks like you might've got a bump on the back of your head too. We're gonna put something on that."

Kurt agreed, "I'll just get my phone and my laptop and bring them down here."

"You lie down. I'll get 'em."

Burt got up and Kurt lay down carefully, stretching out on his stomach as much as he could, letting his feet rise up over the arm of the couch. As Burt started for the kitchen, Kurt stopped him, asking, "Dad? So… you don't think Blaine's violent, or abusive, right?"

Burt rubbed the bridge of his nose. "I think… there's a lot more we need to know about that kid, and I intend to find it out, okay? But if _you_ don't think so, and if you still like him, then there's a good possibility we're going to be okay."

Kurt nodded and rubbed his cheek against the throw pillow. "Thanks, Dad."

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><p><strong>AN**- Abuse is a really hard subject. I don't _want_ their relationship to be abusive, but while halfway through writing this I started reading a really disturbing fic with sexual abuse and possession and control that I couldn't get through (not the neaf one. A totally unrelated one that I shall not recommend) and it got me thinking a lot. I absolutely want to hear back from you on whether or not you think this is being handled well. Abuse is one of those things where, if you perceive yourself as being abused, it's likely you are, and if someone you love thinks you're being abused, there's also a good chance it's true. I wanted to bring it up in a way that makes this particular situation okay without dismissing what a serious thing violence in relationships is. So give me your thoughts! And I promise to stick a bit of sunshine in the next chapter.


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N**- I knew when I started chapter 17 that the violence was going to be a particularly touchy subject. I really appreciate the strong responses I've been getting. The fact that a lot of you had a strong opinion on the subject of abuse, and mostly very reasonable responses I was happy to see, was really heartening. The one thing I found weird was the very few people who said that if it had been Finn slammed into the locker it would have been okay. …I'm pretty sure it's violence no matter who gets hurt, guys.

Hopefully this chapter will make up for problems people had with the last one without dismissing it, which I know is some of your concern. I know Kurt's victim complex took a lot of people by surprise, as did the extent of the damage, and for some of you, Burt's response. For those of you who read this far and discontinued reading, thank you for your support up till now, for those of you still on board, enjoy!

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><p><strong>Just Like the White Winged Dove<strong>

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><p>Blaine thought about going to school on Tuesday. He got all the way to Dalton before he couldn't take it and turned back. He kept weighing the pros and cons between texting Kurt again and waiting for him to text first. He felt shaky and upset and hadn't been able to eat. Once he got back home, he texted Wes to let him know he wasn't coming to school at all, then he changed out of his Dalton uniform. He tried on three different outfits before giving up and sitting on the edge of his bed in his boxer briefs, clutching his car keys in his fist.<p>

He felt antsy and sore all over like he was getting the flu. Since he'd gotten home he couldn't stop messing with the bandage. After wrapping it he'd had to undo it and rewrap it twice because he kept picking at and destroying it, causing the scabs to crack and the bleeding to resume each time. He found that occupying his uninjured hand was the best way to stop himself. Normally he'd go down to the basement and hit the punching bag until he started to calm down, or play the piano but he couldn't do either of those without making the injury worse.

When his phone lit up with a new text, he threw the keys down on the floor to reached for it.

It wasn't from Kurt.

_ Why not? Are you feeling okay? You know I'm not actually rabid about what happened at regionals, right?_

It was from Wes. He texted back, _I know. I'm fine. I'm sorry. See you tomorrow._ Then he sat there tapping the phone on his knee before getting up to get his iPod and turning to the playlist he knew could calm him down.

There were only two songs on it, and both were poor-quality bootlegs. One was from the clip of Kurt singing "Total Eclipse of the Heart" and the other came from an audio recording one of the Warblers had found of the Sectionals performance. Shifty trade deals had supposedly procured the sound clip. The group had been interested in it in order to hear themselves so they'd know what to fix for Regionals, but it turned out that theirs hadn't been the only audio on the bootleg. Some of the Warblers had apparently gotten together and cut up the audio. As a present, after Regionals, Blaine had come home from dinner with Kurt's family Saturday night to find an e-mail with a single file attached. On it was The New Direction's performance of "The Edge of Seventeen."

Blaine put in his ear buds, lay back on his bed and just listened to Kurt's voice.

It was _that_ voice, singing _that_ song, and _that_ boy up on the stage, absolutely on fire and drawing in the crowd, that he'd fallen in love with. He'd known it instinctively, the way he'd never known anything except maybe what kind of cereal he liked. He'd _known_ that he wanted to get to know Kurt, and now, in one lapse of control, he felt like he'd blown it.

He put the song on repeat, listened through it twice, then sang along the third time.

"_Well, he seemed broken hearted, something within him. But the moment that I first lay eyes on him all alone on the edge of seventeen…"_

He lay there on the bed when the song rolled over to repeat again, head turned to the side, staring at his door. "I should never have asked him out in the first place."

* * *

><p>It was just after 9:45am when Blaine's phone buzzed in his hand and he sat up quickly, accidentally pulling one of the earbuds out in the process, so he could check the message.<p>

It was from Kurt. _Would you be able to come over after school today?_

He texted back immediately. _Yes. Yes, I can come over anytime. Are you sure you're okay?_

The text didn't come for several long minutes, and during that time Blaine started rummaging through drawers and through his closet with one hand, trying to come up with an outfit that was good enough to see Kurt in. Suddenly it seemed like none of his clothes had ever matched. Kurt deserved so much better than any of six combinations of pants and a polo or button down shirt.

When the message did come, he was halfway into a pair of black pants. He snatched the phone off the bed and read the following: _I am._ _Anytime is fine._

Blaine took a deep breath. He clenched his teeth, hoping this didn't mean Kurt had stayed home from school as well.

_Did you stay home? I can come over now._ He sent.

_Whenever works. _

His heart fell. The message was too passive for Kurt, whose idea of being passive was telling you straight up that he was being passive aggressive. With a message like that… Blaine knew that if Kurt weren't upset, he would have sent more. He lowered himself down to sit on the bed.

He knew he'd have to talk to Burt. He'd _have_ to. As terrified as he was by the idea, he knew he needed to explain and apologize to Kurt's dad. He and Burt hadn't talked much before, but Kurt was close to his dad, and Blaine had a lot of respect for that. Whatever Burt had to say about what had happened, Blaine needed to hear it now.

_I'll be by as soon as I can_. He texted, then pulled his pants on and started throwing shirts out of his drawer. The first thing he wanted to do was swing by the tire store.

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><p>A little over an hour later, a car pulled up outside the Hummel's. Burt glanced at the window, then stood up for a better look. Kurt was drifting off and Burt had been hoping he'd be able to grab the remote from him soon so he could mute the TV and switch over to the sports channel.<p>

Moving the blinds, Burt recognized the car. He sniffed. "Blaine's here."

There was a gasp from the couch behind him and he turned around to see Kurt literally rolling off of it, knocking ice packs to the ground and using the couch to pull himself to his feet with minimum movement from his back. "No! No! No! He can't come _now_! I'm not dressed. I look like a mess. Oh my god. I have to go change."

"Hey!" Burt cut him off.

The car door shut. Kurt's eyes got big and pleading. "I have to wash my face. I need to moisturize. I need to fix my hair. I should brush my teeth again. I need to change. He can't see me like this. I need to get the file… oh my god, I didn't think he'd be here so soon!"

"You sit right back down and keep looking pathetic."

"Dad. I cannot let him see me like this!"

"Kurt, you look the way you feel. Keep it up. He should be ashamed of himself."

Kurt's eyes were darting from the doorway to the stairs. "Stall him! I have to do a quick facial."

"Slow down. Kid, you don't owe him anything. Let him see how bad you look, especially your back."

Kurt shot him an exasperated look.

There was a tentative knock at the door and Burt squared his shoulders and went to answer it. Behind him, Kurt slipped past and darted up the stairs.

When he opened the door, he found Blaine staring at the stoop. He opened the door an arm's length and then leaned against the frame.

Blaine glanced up at him, then back down. "Hi," he whispered, then he looked up again, "… Is he okay?"

Burt raised an eyebrow and looked down at a bouquet wrapped in paper that was being squeezed to death in Blaine's good fist. "I see you brought flowers."

"For Kurt…" Blaine clarified softly, as though it wasn't obvious.

"You think showing up with some flowers in the middle of the school day is going to make things okay?"

Blaine's shoulders dropped and his face fell. He blinked rapidly a few times, then looked down at the bouquet. He lifted it, then let his arm fall limp again, flowers facing upside down. "No…I just… hoped it'd make him smile," he admitted.

Burt nodded and stood there, letting Blaine shift awkwardly for a few long seconds. "Well, he could use that." He stepped back so there was enough room for Blaine to enter, "Come on in."

Blaine hesitated, glancing back at his car before stepping inside. "You weren't at the shop," he mentioned.

"Decided to stay home with my son," he replied, putting emphasis on the last word.

They stood there in silence for a minute after Burt closed the door.

"So," Burt started, keeping them in the narrow entryway, "You usually punch lockers when you're upset?"

Blaine flinched and glanced down at his bandaged hand. He shoved it in the pocket of his coat. "No, sir."

Burt smirked. "I like the 'sir.' Keep that up. … You gonna tell me what happened?"

Blaine tried to make himself look up, but he got as far as Burt's crossed arms and decided it was better to stare at the floor. "I hurt him," he whispered. "I… threw him into a locker. I didn't mean to…"

"Have you seen it?"

Blaine shook his head and closed his eyes. Barely any sound came out when he asked, "Is it bad?"

Burt raised an eyebrow. He looked down at the flowers that were now just dangling there, holding on to a few fingers. "Why'd you do it?"

Blaine drew a breath. "I didn't mean to… I shouldn't have."

"So why did you?"

"I…it was an accident. I…didn't… I didn't know it was him?" he tried, but he couldn't keep it from sounding like a question. "I just… I freaked out and I didn't know. I have… problems… I thought I was being attacked. … It sounds really stupid when I say it…"

"Yeah, it does," Burt agreed, stoically.

"I'm so sorry."

"Well, you should be," Burt pointed out. "What's to stop you from doing it again?"

Blaine paused and thought about it for a long time. What _was_ there? He hadn't thought he'd do it the first time. He'd thought he was under control. "I'm going back to therapy." He knew that sounded weak. He shook his head. "Nothing… I guess. I'm trying… I'll deal with things… I'll try everything. But I don't… I don't know. Whatever I can…" His voice dropped down to a whisper, "I love him."

"There's a lot I don't know about you, Blaine. And the stuff I'm hearing, I don't like a lot of it."

Blaine just nodded weakly, squeezing the flower stems again to keep them from falling to the floor.

After a few seconds, Burt sighed and stepped back toward the living room. "Get a vase for those."

Blaine jerked with surprise and frowned until he realized Burt meant the flowers. He looked down at them. "Oh," he breathed and turned around to go back out the door.

"Vases are in the kitchen. Right hand side over the fridge. Carole hides a step stool under the sink if you need it. Better to get them all fixed up now so he doesn't try to do it on his own later."

Blaine stopped and lifted the flowers up, holding them against his chest. He turned back toward Burt. "I can stay?"

Burt shrugged. "You've gotta bring him those, don't you? Scissors are in the drawer second to the left of the sink. It'll drive him crazy if they're too tall for the vase. Use the… here. I'll get the right one."

Burt led the way into the kitchen. He brought down a clear glass vase that was just slightly yellowed with age. It was ornate with delicate, sharp lines, starting from the bulb at the bottom and splaying out at the top. "Here. He likes that one," he said, setting it on the counter beside where Blaine had laid the flowers. "It's an heirloom. It was his mom's."

They stayed silent for the rest of the time it took for Blaine to methodically unwrap the flowers, cut the stems, very gingerly fill up the vase with water, and arrange the flowers. Once Blaine could bring himself to stop fidgeting with them, Burt stood from the stool he'd been perched on and led the way upstairs. Blaine scooped up the vase and held it close to him with his good hand underneath it for support, and his bandaged hand keeping it from tipping over.

When they reached Kurt's room, Burt knocked. From the other side of the door Kurt yelled, "No! Not yet! I'm not ready."

"Kurt? I'm coming in. You decent?" Burt replied, reaching for the doorknob. No response, so Burt opened the door to find Kurt's room looking like a natural disaster had blown through. Clothes were strewn everywhere. "What are you doing?"

"I don't know what to wear… I just…"

"Hey," Burt stepped into the room, but Blaine recoiled. He leaned back against the opposite wall, just out of sight of the bedroom and just breathed. His heartbeat was racing. He wanted to see Kurt so bad, but he was afraid of himself again. The clang of the lockers rang in his ears.

"I don't want him to see me in sweatpants, Dad," Kurt hissed.

"Kurt," Burt said sternly. "You look fine. Relax. I told you to keep looking pathetic."

Kurt gave him a devastated look and tipped his head back to heave a protest.

Burt cut him off, "You're fine. I'm bringing him in. You want me to help you shove these things back in your closet first?"

Kurt gave him a small, defeated nod and Burt leaned down and swept up as much as he could, then he and Kurt dumped all the clothes on the floor of the closet and shut the door.

"Okay, Blaine? You can come in now," Burt said loudly.

Kurt sucked in a breath and started trying to pull his hands out of the massive sleeves of his hoodie so he could mess with his hair.

"Blaine?" Burt called after a moment, and Blaine appeared at the doorway. Kurt forced himself not to turn away on instinct. He wanted to hide. He wanted to maintain the illusion that he was always completely put together. This, would destroy that fantasy right before Blaine's eyes. The big hoodie and the loose sweatpants might cover everything, but they made him feel completely naked. He wished he'd at least slipped into jeans or slacks or kapris… anything. Maybe if he'd clipped a stylish pin to the hoodie… Maybe if his hair had had time to fully dry…

Blaine stepped in, looking sheepish and afraid behind a bouquet of flowers. His hair had been gelled, but it was sticking up in places and curling at the back like he'd hardly spent time on it. His clothes were nice, though they didn't perfectly match, and his eyes had dark lines under them from a lack of sleep. His hand was bandaged with gauze.

"Hey," Blaine said, running his eyes up and down Kurt's oversized red hoodie and loose grey sweats. The boy looked small in his clothes; disheveled and flushed. Blaine sucked in his lips and bowed his head behind the flowers.

Burt looked pointedly at Kurt, "You be okay if I go wait down the hall?" he asked. When Kurt nodded, he left the room, giving Blaine a lingering stare.

Once Burt was gone Kurt half smiled. "Hey."

"So… how are you?"

Kurt smirked and rolled his eyes playfully, "Still not over having to wear that shirt yesterday." When Blaine didn't respond he tried again, gesturing to himself, "Not that _this _is an improvement."

"I like the hoodie," Blaine murmured.

Kurt sighed and his gaze rolled back to Blaine's hand. "Your hand swelled up."

Blaine shifted and held out the flowers to Kurt to hide the hand. "Just a little. I brought you these."

Kurt stepped forward to accept the flowers, "They match my décor."

"Of course," Blaine bit his lip and barely trusted himself to breathe. Once Kurt had taken the vase, smiling when he recognized it, and was holding it securely, closing his eyes and sniffing deeply, Blaine spoke again, "You're not okay."

Kurt considered for a moment, then looked Blaine in the eye and shook his head.

"How bad?"

"It's… just my back. I just feel a bit stiff and sore. It's bruised a little."

"A lot?" Blaine gently corrected.

Kurt smiled softly and nodded.

Blaine closed his eyes. "I'm so sorry, Kurt."

Kurt walked over and set the flowers down on his desk beside his laptop, turning them until he found the angle he liked best. "It happens. I'll recover… Oh! I need to get you that file!"

He started toward the door, but Blaine reached out like he was going to stop him. They both froze, just a little ways apart. Blaine's hand curled into a fist and dropped to his side. He murmured, "I'm so sorry, Kurt," again.

Kurt hesitated, then reached down and took Blaine's hand, willing the touch of his fingers to transfer to Blaine that he wasn't afraid of him. "…I know," he said, after a pause. "I'll just go get the file."

"No," Blaine said quickly. "I don't care about that. Please. I was… I was thrown off before, but…" he shrugged. "The file doesn't matter, Kurt. I thought I was okay, but now I know I need to actually deal with things. And I'm going to. I'm going to see my therapist this week, and I'm going to go back to all my exercises once my hand heals…"

"…Blaine…"

"I just… I know it's not just an instant fix for everything, and if it isn't enough to regain your trust then I'll understand. I won't push you. But… I _care,_ Kurt." He blinked rapidly several times, "It's killing me."

"…Blaine…"

"Will you show me how bad it is?"

"You'll just feel guilty and blame yourself."

Blaine turned his hand over so that Kurt's palm was lying facedown over his bandaged one. He wrapped his thumb around the edge of Kurt's hand. "Not knowing isn't stopping that_._"

Kurt watched Blaine's face. Blaine was avoiding his gaze at first, but then he looked up, big, sad puppy eyes, and immediately Kurt had to look away. He smiled to himself for several seconds, face growing redder as he did, then he let out a short laugh and said, "I honestly thought the first time you'd be helping me undress would be under different circumstances."

Blaine's eyes went wide and his face formed a clear _"Wait, what?"_ look while Kurt turned away, hiding his blush, and then turned back and tugged at the hem of his hoodie.

"You'll have to help me get this off."

Blaine's head dropped, chin to chest, with a laugh, and then he raised it again with a sigh of relief, smiling. He raised both hands up between them. "Is it okay if I-?" he asked.

Kurt nodded, so Blaine asked him to turn around. Very gently, avoiding all skin-to-skin contact, Blaine lifted the hoodie up off his back.

Suddenly Kurt stopped him, reaching back and touching his wrist. Blaine let go and the hoodie fell back down. "I'm so sorry," he whispered, afraid he'd hurt him and wishing he had something he could stab himself in the gut with so it could just be over.

"T-the shirt too," Kurt corrected him, letting go of his wrist. "If we don't get them both in one go then this is going to be a whole lot more difficult."

"Oh." His heartbeat calmed some. _"Just breathe, Blaine." _He went for it again, this time letting his fingers glide beneath the fabric of the cotton t-shirt and peel it away from Kurt's skin.

He closed his eyes as he raised the shirt up and off and away from his shoulders. Kurt turned and sort of backed out of the hoodie, then took it from him and clutched both the hoodie and shirt to his chest.

Blaine couldn't turn off the warning message in his head alerting him to the fact that Kurt was now half naked in front of him. He stood there awkwardly, trying to avoid looking at Kurt's collarbone or the shape of his creamy white shoulder, because both also drew his gaze to how the skin was dark and discolored just over the back of it. Between guilt and sexual frustration he felt like a complete mess standing there, blood surging in his veins. When he let out a breath, he finally realized he'd been holding it.

Kurt was bright red, holding his hoodie protectively across his chest between them. Blaine reached up to touch his shoulder, but his hand dropped. After a few more seconds, Kurt couldn't stand the awkwardness of just standing there facing each other anymore and slowly turned around.

He could hear the breath catch in Blaine's throat. He pursed his lips and chewed on the inside of his cheek, focusing his eyes on the burnt-red of his hoodie and how the reverse side felt against his chest. Here he was, shirtless for the first time ever in front of his boyfriend—"_In front of a boy at all,"_ he reminded himself—and in sweatpants which were hanging lower on his hips than he'd have liked. Everything about the situation should have been sexual. He wanted this to be the kind of romantic situation where Blaine would be touching him, loving him, caressing his skin. He wanted this to be something safe and wonderful and to have the door closed instead of standing wide open. But instead, he was standing there showing his boyfriend the ugly wounds on his back and trying to ignore the way seeing them was audibly tearing Blaine apart.

After a few seconds he decided to turn around and ask for help putting his clothes back on, but he was stopped by a touch, low on the center of his back, just along the spine, a few fingers against his skin. Then he could feel Blaine's breath against his back. The fingers left his spine and reappeared against his side, back and above the hip. Kurt closed his eyes, reached around, and laid the tips of his fingers over the tips of Blaine's.

Blaine's nose and lips touched Kurt's skin ever so lightly just to the side of the broken skin. They lingered there a moment, then Blaine's breath ghosted across the bare skin as he whispered, "It hurts?"

Kurt only nodded. It hurt, but suddenly he was losing focus on the pain.

"I'm so sorry," Blaine breathed again, and there was another touch of lips on skin.

Very slowly, Kurt turned around. Blaine hastily wiped his cheeks, but the corners of his eyes were pink. "Blaine," Kurt said softly, feeling shy again, now that he was facing his boyfriend, shirtless. "I know there are reasons why you freaked out... And we're gonna get through them. I'll do whatever I can to help you."

Blaine squeezed his eyes shut and opened his mouth to speak, but Kurt cut him off, holding up a finger.

"No. None of that. You are going to smile and be cute and charming as you ever were, and you're going to help me put my clothes back on before I die of embarrassment."

Blaine's jaw hung slack for a moment, then his eyes twinkled and he dipped his head so he was looking up at Kurt coyly. "You have nothing to be embarrassed about."

Kurt nodded sharply, "That's better."

They both tried to hold down their smiles, then broke at the same time, commencing in fond giggles.

"Either way, I can't just sit around half naked," Kurt mumbled. To that, Blaine cocked his head to the side and raised his eyebrows, half an inviting smile plastered all over his face. Kurt batted at him teasingly and they both giggled again.

* * *

><p>From out in the hall, Burt called, "Hey, you two. Enough with the being cute. Kurt, I'm going to go put your ice packs back in the fridge."<p>

He waited for the embarrassed, "Okay!" before he started off down the stairs with a heavy sigh. This whole situation probably wasn't good for his heart. It was bad enough that Kurt was hurt and Blaine looked like a drowned puppy, but standing outside the room, just to the side of the doorframe and _knowing_ they still really cared about each other despite what had gone down the day before, was hard for a parent. Burt wanted to be able to scoop up his son, put him on his knee, kiss the bruise and make it better. He wanted to scold Blaine and know this would never happen again. He wanted to be able to protect his little boy… but Kurt wasn't little anymore.

Burt leaned against the stair rail. In the long run, he was lucky there was someone who loved Kurt like Blaine did. He was lucky that Kurt's first serious injury was a misunderstanding, something that could be avoided in the future, and that it hadn't been a call from the hospital. He was lucky Kurt was up there mending things and not lying in a hospital bed holding on to a life measured in blips. Burt _knew_ that. He knew that, but it didn't make _this_ sit well. It would be a while before this was okay. Kurt would have to get better first. Blaine would have to prove himself again… but they could be alone together for a minute. He'd go back and check on them in a minute.

* * *

><p>After Burt had interrupted, Kurt had turned to his side and dislodged the t-shirt from the hoodie, smiling. "Help me put this back on," he asked, holding an arm across himself now as he abandoned the hoodie on the bed.<p>

"You don't have something comfortable to wear that would be easier to get on and off?" Blaine asked, then added quickly, "Just so it doesn't get worse."

Kurt considered, and took a sweeping glance across his room. If he'd gotten more sleep, this would be easier. With his brain functioning at half capacity it was difficult to remember his entire wardrobe. It couldn't be anything with buttons, or it'd hurt to sleep on his stomach. No zippers either, and no coarse stitching in the back… This was why he'd gone with the t-shirt in the first place; for the first time in Kurt's life, clothes sounded better when they didn't take elaborate planning.

He took a step toward his dresser, trying to think, keeping the shirt with him.

Blaine sucked in his lips and tried hard not to glance down at Kurt's ass when he turned. The part of his brain that was reminding him it was inappropriate with regard to the circumstance that had brought him over was not corresponding with the part of him that wanted to reach out and squeeze. "Or, you know, we could just…" he started. Kurt looked back over his shoulder, smiling, but daring him to finish his thought. Between the glance and the angry purple splotches that were once again staring him in the face, it shut Blaine up fast. He tried to remember, "_cute and charming, that's what Kurt wants,"_ so he shrugged, "There's always the Walmart shirt."

Kurt groaned and rolled his eyes. He walked back over to Blaine and entrusted him with the shirt he was already holding. "Don't make me think, just help me with this one."

After they got Kurt into the shirt, which wasn't tight, but was perfectly flattering on Kurt's torso, and Blaine got over once again trying not to focus on his stomach, his belly button, his pecs, oh Christ, nipples!, they kissed each other softly several times. Then Kurt brought it up again, "I could go get that file…"

Blaine shook his head. It didn't matter. He knew what would be in it. Knowing was what had set him off in the first place. He didn't need to see it, not when Kurt was more important, not when Kurt should have always been the most important. "Don't worry about it," he insisted. "I just want to be with you."

Kurt smiled, then hesitated, glancing over at the bed, biting his bottom lip momentarily, and having to catch himself and start again, "Would you… um. … Would you… mind maybe…cuddling with me?… F-for a little while. I was told to rest…"

"Is that okay? … with your back…?"

Kurt quickly amended, "I mean, if you don't want to—"

"I do!" Blaine blurt out. "I just…" he almost stopped himself, he knew exactly how bad it sounded and even though his words dropped down below a whisper, he wished he'd kept them in, "…don't want to hurt you."

Kurt took the words in stride, accepted them, and immediately tried to distract from the fact that he'd heard them at all. Someday, when they were both better, he would bring up everything and make Blaine talk him through what was wrong. He'd let it escalate to yelling if it needed to, he'd let them both cry, talk, _really_ work it out, make a plan for their future… but for today, he didn't want that.

"Lie down," he commanded. "On your back, nice and flat, but make yourself comfortable." Blaine slipped out of his jacket and left it on Kurt's desk chair. He moved the hoodie off the bed and lay down, staying toward the edge near the door and waited for further instructions. "You can be _on_ the bed," Kurt pointed out, sarcastically, and Blaine scooted closer to the middle. "Now… is it okay if I sort of… snuggle in and… lie on top of you a little?" Kurt asked, giving Blaine a distinct _'stop my crazy now if it makes you uncomfortable'_ look.

Blaine just opened up his arms in invitation.

Very slowly, carefully, Kurt crawled onto the bed and lowered himself down, nestling his head so it was just above Blaine's heart. He dug his fingers into the fabric of Blaine's shirt and let his eyes fall shut, enjoying the smell and the feel of Blaine right there beneath him. Blaine's arms slid around him gently, falling low to avoid the bruises.

Blaine leaned down and kissed Kurt on the temple.

For a few moments they lay there completely still and in silence, soaking up the warmth and comfort of each other. Kurt had anticipated being cold without his hoodie on, but Blaine's body was so, _so_ warm he was glad he was without it. Outside, a dog had started barking.

"Doesn't skipping school mean missing Warbler practice?" Kurt asked gently, running his middle finger in circles just in front of his nose across Blaine's chest.

Blaine hummed for a moment, and Kurt smiled at the way the vibrations felt against his cheek. They'd never done _this _before:they'd never just lain together. Blaine's thumb was rubbing slow, lazy circles in the small of Kurt's back and it was lulling him to sleep. "You know…" Blaine started, almost dreamily, "I joined the Warblers as part of my therapy."

"What?" Kurt frowned and made to sit up, but remembered that it hurt and satisfied himself to just stay there and listen.

"Yeah. I had some problems when I first transferred. I was such a mess," Blaine told him, "And what I was doing at the time wasn't cutting it, so one of the academic advisors suggested I join the Warblers. I already liked singing. I used to sing with my brother. They thought it'd be good for me, that it would give me an outlet as well as a support group. It worked. Since I'd joined I… I hadn't had any more incidents. I thought I was really lucky."

"You _are_ lucky," Kurt reminded him. "You still have them. And you have me."

Blaine kissed the top of Kurt's head again and whispered, "I don't know how I could possibly deserve you."

"Sing to me?" Kurt suggested.

"Right now?" he asked, which Kurt confirmed with a hum. Blaine drew in a sharp breath and asked urgently, "Can you still sing?"

"Not very well while I'm on my chest," Kurt snorted, "But I assume so."

"Okay. Because you know this song, and I love listening to you."

* * *

><p>Carole arrived home from work, a bit frazzled and absolutely starving. She'd spent all morning looking forward to having the leftover salad from the night before and then taking a hot bath and a nap before everyone started getting home. Her plans were interrupted by Burt's truck in the driveway and the same man camped on the couch watching TV on mute.<p>

"What're you doing home?" she asked, as she stepped inside and took her coat off.

Burt stood up quickly and shut off the TV. "We've got a situation," he told her, and he briefly described how Kurt had talked to him earlier and showed him the bruises. "You need to look at him."

"He's upstairs now?" Carole asked, glancing up the staircase.

Burt took a breath, "…With Blaine."

Carole narrowed her eyes, "Sweetie, you're not using me to spy on them."

Burt threw up his hands. "This is more than I can handle! I don't know what to do. For all I know, that kid could be an abusive psychopath, or the whole situation could be a total accident… like falling down the stairs; Kurt could have tripped, or he could have been pushed."

"Okay, I think you're exaggerating. … Are they okay up there together?"

"That's why I'm sending _you_," Burt emphasized. Carole just narrowed her eyes at him. Whatever made her think that living with a houseful of men would be easy and fun? Burt tried again, "The last time I checked they were still making goo-goo eyes at each other. I'm just worried, you know? … about Kurt."

"That's 'cause you're a good parent," Carole assured him. "Kurt knows you love him, but… they are big boys. If they're okay, then they're probably okay."

"They're just kids…"

"I'll take a look at him. If it's just bruising then chances are it'll be uncomfortable for a little bit and look bad, but heal up just fine. And if, like you said, Blaine's got problems but he's fixing them then…" she just shrugged.

Burt let out a deep sigh and glanced longingly up toward Kurt's room.

"If it makes you feel any better," Carole said as she started for the stairs, "I got a call just a few minutes ago and apparently Finn has accidentally whacked Rachel in the nose and broken it. _His_ only excuse is that he's a clumsy oaf. And I mean that as his mother." She raised an eyebrow, shrugged and started up the stairs. Burt just stood there, gaping.

* * *

><p>When Carole reached the top of the stairs she heard the singing and paused to listen.<p>

"_Five-hundred, twenty five thousand, six hundred minutes. Five-hundred, twenty five thousand, moments, oh dear…"_ That was definitely Blaine's voice. She'd heard him sing at the competitions.

Kurt spoke next, "You want the two of us to sing a song with multi-part harmonies? And with me not at my full strength and capacity?"

"We can handle it." Blaine started the song over again, and Kurt came in after a few lines. Their voices were so soft, just murmurs blending together.

"_Five hundred, twenty five thousand, six hundred minutes. How do you measure, measure a year?..."_

They were trading off, finding the harmonies, giggling occasionally. Carole poked her head around the door to see them both lying on the bed. Kurt was facing the other way, his head resting on Blaine's chest. Blaine's eyes were closed. He smiled and reached up with his good hand, running his fingers through Kurt's hair and kissing the top of his head before dropping his hand back down to his waist. Kurt's toes curled at his touch.

Carole nodded and pulled back from the doorway. She turned and crept back down the steps. She could check Kurt's back later. Right now she had to deal with whether or not she needed to worry about paying Rachel Berry's medical bill and finding out how much at fault her son was.

As she reached the bottom step, she shook her head at Burt, who was opening his mouth to question her. "They're fine," she insisted.

Burt grumbled, but took her word for it. Their voices were still softly carrying down the stairs.

"_Measure your life, measure your life in love…"_

* * *

><p><strong>AN**- I know my timeline for Rachel's nose is a little off. Go with me on that. I wanted to point out another example of accidental violence that I know you've already formed an opinion about, and which, although very different, is absolutely comparable to what happened between Kurt and Blaine.

I know I set some people off by bringing up the abuse factor, but if I hadn't… would many of you have even thought of it? If I had avoided using that particular word, would most of you have assumed it was just a random accident (which, ultimately it kind of was)? Bad things do happen, and no, they're never okay, but sometimes they also aren't the end of the world. The promises are there; Kurt and Blaine are going to work through this.

If you're still on board, there will be more. It might take a while since spring break is over and I need to focus on my capstone, but there will be more. Hope you enjoyed!


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N**- I got a god-awful cold and didn't feel like writing for a while, and there's a lot of work to do for all my classes this quarter, but it looks like you're getting another chapter anyway! I notice there are rumors that Glee is planning to tackle domestic violence soon! It'll be interesting to see what they do, considering a lot of people still don't like what I did…

Big Brother was awesome! Saturday Night Glee-ver was good too, but mostly the performances rather than the stories. I'm writing the first draft of this chapter same day the Whitney tribute music is coming out and I'm basically in tears, so enjoy!

For some reason everyone is cussing a lot in this chapter. This is your heads-up.

* * *

><p><strong>Just Like the White Winged Dove<strong>

* * *

><p>"Aww! You big baby," Carole crooned as she looked over Kurt's wounds a few hours later. "These are mostly surface bruises. It probably hurts so much because you didn't do anything about it last night. It's mostly stiff muscles from the shock. It'll be sensitive for a while and you're going to want to be careful for at least a week, but it should all heal up just fine."<p>

"Oh, thank god," Blaine murmured, pressing a hand over his eyes and sighing.

"Yeah, but what about the big gash? Are we seriously saying he's just okay?" Puck asked from his perch over the back of Kurt's desk chair.

* * *

><p>Puck had come over with Kurt's homework at Rachel's request while she and Finn went to the doctor to have her nose looked at. Puck had shown up at the house and made it upstairs to Kurt's room just as Carole was getting set up to help Kurt take his shirt off and deal with his injuries. One look at the bruises and Puck threw all of Kurt's papers and books down on the floor and demanded to know what was going on.<p>

"It was my fault," Blaine had admitted.

"How did you get into my locker?" Kurt asked, but Puck didn't even bother to respond. It only took two steps for him to walk over and grab Blaine by his collar.

"What the fuck did you do?" Puck yelled. Burt jumped off the couch downstairs and headed up at the sound. "You think it's okay to just beat up on my boy? You fuckin—"

"Puck!" Kurt stood up and grabbed both of their arms at the wrist. Blaine had reached up defensively and now they were locked in a vice-grip. "Puckerman, stop! It was an accident!"

"That's fucking not an accident!" he yelled, shaking Blaine.

"It was! I'm fine, please!" Kurt begged, unable to move enough to even attempt to pull them apart.

Carole whistled sharply and they all froze and looked at her. "Okay, knock it off, boys. Kurt, sit down and I'll happily tell everyone how bad it is. Puck, what are you even doing here?"

Puck dropped Blaine, who stayed silent and didn't respond when Kurt touched his hip and tried to look in his eyes to see if he was okay. "I came because Rachel Berry got her nose smashed and she wanted me to bring my boy his homework. Good thing I did! She's way too small to be dealing out justice!" Puck turned back to Blaine.

"Rachel's nose got smashed?" Kurt asked, shocked.

"Yeah, Finn hit her in the face. But that's not what's important…"

"Alright, Puck, sit down in the chair," Carole said, motioning to the desk chair. "Boys? Back on the bed. We're going to clean Kurt up, get a good explanation and then order something for dinner because there was less salad left over than I thought and I'm both starving and exhausted."

Puck sat in the chair and asked if he could stay for dinner, and Carole said it would be fine. After they'd all settled down and Kurt was disrobed self-consciously, she poked and pressed at the bruises, looking Kurt over and checking his shoulders to make sure they were working right and that his spine hadn't slipped a disk. Kurt winced and made faces until finally Blaine couldn't take it anymore, scooted closer, and pulled Kurt's head down to his shoulder to cradle it.

Kurt sighed against Blaine's neck and Puck snorted. "So what happened anyway?" he asked.

"Just stuff," Kurt said shortly. "I poked around where I shouldn't have."

Blaine cut in, shaking his head. "No. It was me. I reacted badly. I just… when I get upset I just… I lose focus. I was… I sort of flashed back, didn't know where I was. It's not an excuse. I got violent. I didn't… I didn't know it was Kurt. I didn't mean to. I sort of threw him…"

"Yeah, that _is_ no excuse. But… You must throw pretty hard. For a gay munchkin. How much do you bench?"

"Puck…" Kurt warned.

"What? So everyone thinks it's okay that Blaine gets violent when he's angry?"

"You are kinda like The Hulk. Kurt's been pushed into lockers before, and this kid bruises like a peach," Carole said, patting Kurt's arm below the bruise, "But looking at this, Blaine, you must be pretty strong."

Blaine leaned his head against Kurt's. "It's not like that's a good thing. I'm so sorry, Kurt."

"Stop apologizing." Kurt rubbed his thumb against Blaine's knee and asked, "Who's The Hulk?"

"Dude! Seriously? He's the one who gets all big and green when he's angry. There's no way you don't know him!" Puck insisted.

Blaine shrugged, but from the doorway Burt stepped in. "_I_ know who it is. Kurt never liked superheroes."

Kurt whispered, "Spandex," and shuddered.

"But seriously, Carole, how bad?"

Just then Carole touched a particularly sensitive spot and Kurt hissed with pain. She called him a baby and began to assess the injuries. "Mostly surface bruises…"

"What about the big gash? Are we seriously saying he's just okay?" Puck snapped, glaring at Blaine.

"Probably the only reason the skin broke like this is because you're so skinny, honey," Carole explained to Kurt, who sat up and was trying to crane his head in such a way that it didn't hurt so he could watch what she was doing. "You lost a lot of weight before winter break and you never really gained it back. Your shoulder blade just hit that locker wrong."

"So, it's not Blaine's fault?" Kurt asked.

"It's still my fault," Blaine insisted.

"Yeah, so what are you going to do about it?" Puck asked. "You can't stop dating. That didn't work so well last time."

"Last time?" Burt asked.

Kurt just shook his head and hissed again when Carole started cleaning the gash.

"Well… anyway," Puck continued, "Blaine? I should beat the shit out of you."

"Let's watch our language," Burt said calmly from the door. Kurt once against rubbed his thumb against Blaine's knee and then took his hand and squeezed it.

Puck continued. "But Kurt likes you, so I like you. But I didn't beat Karofsky's face in and cheer when he shipped himself off to another school just so I could watch Kurt get his ass kicked by his own fuck-buddy."

"_Boyfriend_," Kurt corrected quickly. "And I appreciate it, Puck, but Blaine isn't going to hurt me. I know not to follow him when he tells me not to now, I know he needs space, and we're going to work through this. It won't happen again."

"What if it does?" Burt asked.

Kurt looked up at his dad with pleading eyes. Blaine spoke up, "It won't. I would leave before I hurt Kurt again."

"Even if a circumstance like this one?" Burt asked.

"Man. You do that and you're gonna _wish_ you knew where your face was," Puck said, shaking his head.

"It won't," Kurt repeated.

"I'm going back to therapy. I'm getting back on medication, trying some new things…" Blaine pressed his body closer to Kurt. "The whole reason it got this bad in the first place is because I decided to avoid my problems rather than deal with them the first time around. So I'm going to do that. Boxing and music are good, but I'm going to find a more permanent solution."

"Blaine and I were talking before and I'm going to help him. I don't think I'll take up boxing or anything like that, but we'll figure out something. I'm going to learn how to take care of him, so we can get through this together." Kurt smiled, "You helped me to be brave, Blaine, you swept in with your cute little smile and pulled me out of _my_ melancholy, so at least I can do the same."

It was silent for a long time while Carole carefully applied butterfly stitches to the wound. Blaine smiled and he and Kurt glanced at each other, the promise sweeping between them, making it awkward for everyone else in the room. Kurt blushed almost immediately and looked away.

"Well," Burt said slowly. "I know if Kurt's put his mind to it, there's nothing I can do to stop it."

"You're all set!" Carole said loudly, breaking the solemnity with her chipper outburst. "Take it easy for the rest of today, but you're going to want to try to move around more than you think you can after that so your muscles can loosen up some. If you ice it and we're careful, it should just be a bunch of ugly yellowish marks by the end of the week. Now I'm hungry. Are you hungry, Blaine?"

Blaine shrunk a little at the question, and let Puck answer for him that they were all hungry and that they'd best get to ordering food.

* * *

><p>When it was time for Blaine to go home later that evening, partly because Puck had resolved to stay until <em>after<em> Blaine had left, and partly because Finn had called to say he'd be home soon, Kurt stopped him at the doorway.

They didn't speak. Blaine turned squarely to face Kurt, took his face in both hands, and raised slightly on his toes to press their lips together. They kissed, and breathed against each other for a lifetime in heartbeats. When Blaine pulled away again, Kurt felt dazed and at peace. He rocked a little on his feet, then stopped Blaine from turning around and kissed him again, smiling against Blaine's lips. He didn't need to say anything. They smiled at each other, then Blaine left, fingertips lingering against each other.

* * *

><p>Wednesday morning, Kurt woke up feeling just as stiff as the day before. He barely rolled himself out of bed, eyes flashing over with tears. At least thinking about it as stiffness made it more pathetic and less painful. He'd been asked to skip taking a shower for the day just to avoid knocking off the butterfly stitches so his back could heal, and he found that washing his hair and taking a sponge bath involved way more movement than he'd anticipated and was deeply in pain by the time he managed to brush his teeth, wash his face, put on clothes that matched Blaine's scarf, and look presentable. He added a hat to the ensemble in order to avoid having to do anything more with his hair.<p>

By the time he got downstairs and medicated it was at least fifteen minutes later than his normal routine accounted for, and was almost time to rush off to school.

Finn was waiting for him at the counter, finishing his second bowl of cereal. They hadn't spoken the night before, but Kurt would be surprised if Puck hadn't filled Finn in. They eyed each other warily as Kurt slipped two slices of whole wheat toast into the toaster. Finn opened his mouth after he'd swallowed his last bite, but Kurt beat him to the punch.

"I heard you punched Rachel in the face."

"I heard Blaine mauled you in the back," Finn countered.

"Actually, threw me into lockers as an impulse reaction to fear. What's your excuse?"

They both stayed silent after that. The ride to school was exceptionally awkward, but unavoidable since Kurt's car was still at the McKinley.

When he reached his locker, Mercedes engulfed him in a particularly gentle hug. "Puck is telling crazy stories that I should have gotten a call about _last night_," she said, glaring at him. "Or the day before!"

She had a point. "Sorry, Mercedes. But I'm fine. Blaine's fine. _We're _fine. Whatever Puck's been saying—"

"You okay, Kurt?" Santana approached, followed closely by Brittney. "I didn't think your pretty little a cappella dreamboat boyfriend was even capable of it. He's like, _my_ height."

"We heard you had really great sex," Brittney explained. Mercedes turned to Kurt with her eyes wide and a look that said, _"If that's true, and I didn't know first, you are so dead."_

"No… Britt," Santana frowned at her, but linked their arms. "We heard you got beat to shit."

"Oh my god! Kurt!" Tina was running down the hallway now and stopped right in front of him, touching his cheek. "I'm so sorry! Are you okay?" Mike was following after her.

"I'm fine!" Kurt tried not to yell, but he flinched back toward the lockers to give himself some space. "Could someone please just tell me how Rachel is?"

"She's fine," the woman herself answered, and Santana and Brittney stepped aside to reveal her. "Just a little worse for wear."

Honestly, she looked awful. The area around her nose was swollen, both eyes were blackened, and there was unfortunate bruising that was only accentuated by the placement of a bandage over her nose. Kurt made a mental note to thank Blaine for sparing his face.

"But it was all just an accident because Finn's so big and clumsy."

"Not to mention an awful dancer," Santana reminded them.

"I should be just fine and singing again long before Nationals," Rachel said proudly. "But Kurt, what happened with you? Puck and Finn have conflicting stories, and honestly, I think that now they're trying to outdo each other on the violence scale, so I don't know what to believe anymore."

"It was also an accident, and I'm a little bruised, but I'm just fine. My voice and my fashion sense were completely spared."

Mercedes giggled. "We're glad to have you back, Kurt. I'm sure you'll be exempt from Booty Camp today."

"Booty Camp?"

"Schuester's kicking all our butts," Tina explained. "To get us ready."

Brittney leaned in and whispered to him, "I think the theme for Nationals is pirates."

Kurt tugged at the scarf around his neck. "Booty camp is today?"

"Booty camp is _every_ day," Mercedes said, rolling her eyes. Kurt hadn't counted on that. As appealing as singing and learning the routines was to his still aching back, he had a coffee date with Blaine. With the way Blaine had been acting the day before, and the way he'd kissed him with so much desperation, canceling their date would be the worst thing to do. It would make an exceptionally bad week even worse to disappoint Blaine right now.

"Maybe I'll just apologize to Schuester and skip Booty Camp for another day," Kurt mumbled as the bell rang.

"If you're ditching, I want in," Tina mumbled.

"_I_ should be exempt as well. As you all know there's nothing I can do with my nose in this condition, and besides, I don't actually need the extra practice," Rachel said. "The rest of you, however, need all the help you can get."

"Shove it, Berry," Santana said as she turned on her heel to go to class.

"I promised Blaine I'd meet him after school today," Kurt mentioned as he also started toward class.

"You should go then," Mike said. "You'll be fine, Kurt. I'll teach you the routines later."

Kurt smiled. "I guess my booty and I will be missing from camp for another day then."

"Your booty's camp enough," Mercedes teased, as she turned off to go to class. Kurt smiled after her. He was lucky his friends were back to being a calm and understanding force in his life.

As Mike stopped with Tina to kiss her goodbye outside her classroom and Rachel continued on with Kurt to their first class together. As soon as they were alone she began a rant about all the things that the doctor had told her concerning her nose and he had to stop her at the first mention of plastic surgery. The rest of the day consisted of a lot of Rachel starting to bring up the subject and Kurt shooting her down with a sharp "Barbra Streisand."

"But just think—"

"No. Barbra."  
>"But…"<p>

"No!"

During the course of the day he texted Blaine, _Can't wait to see you this afternoon._

Blaine's response was, _And get my scarf back?_

Kurt smiled. _Depends. It looks amazing on me._

* * *

><p>Schuester was sympathetic when Kurt told him that he'd be ditching Glee for another day and asked if he wanted to sit down and talk to him about why. Kurt opted to avoid the conversation entirely. Helpful as Schuester was when Kurt was having trouble with Karofsky, he still tended to give useless advice and talk for entirely too long. Kurt stopped in between classes to cut down the time Schuester could be allowed to drone on, and when school ended for the day, he went straight for his car.<p>

Blaine had texted to ask if Kurt wanted him to pick him up, which was more than appealing, but his baby had been sitting in the high school parking lot for long enough, so Kurt declined and hoisted himself gently into the driver's seat. Tina hadn't managed to sneak out of booty camp—it was probable that she'd never meant to—and Rachel had forced Mercedes to stay also, so Kurt wasn't worried about tagalongs.

He was happy to find driving to be a minimally painful experience. A bruised back was better than a sunburn in that it didn't sting when his clothes touched his skin, but worse because sometimes it just throbbed dully and made him feel pathetic and miserable before suddenly shocking into a painful stabbing pain. He was in the process of unbuckling himself and rolling out of the car when a hand appeared on the door, and another was held out to him.

Blaine offered Kurt his arm and helped him out of the car, catching him in a low hug as Kurt stumbled out of the car, and then he leaned back to get Kurt's keys out of the ignition for him.

"Not better?"

"Much better now," Kurt assured him, smiling.

Blaine smiled back, and then stepped back so Kurt could clear the door and lock the car behind him, then he tilted his head toward to shop. "Come on. Let me buy you some coffee."

"My hero. By the way…" Kurt indicated the scarf and raised his eyebrows. "Perfect, don't you think?"

"I had no doubts."

"The hat?"

"A perfect touch."

Kurt's phone buzzed at him as soon as he'd settled down at a table and Blaine went to order for both of them. Kurt stared after him, deciding to someday get him out of that blazer and into an outfit that properly showed off his rear, as he unlocked his phone and opened his inbox. There were several new messages, the latest from Mercedes.

_You are so lucky you're skipping hell camp. You best call me tonight and let me complain before you let me in on everything that's been going on._

Most of the rest were from Brittney's phone, but in order went, _Kurt, this is Puck. I stole Brittney's phone. I just wanted to let you know that the rumor about Blaine in the mafia did not come from me._

_ Actually, I might have said that one. _

_ I think you need to tell me what you gave Finn that makes him smell so good. I smell like crap._

_ I'm so bored I'm going to start punching myself in the gut. Or Rachel._

_ Why is she even here?_

Kurt texted, _It's called deodorant. I'd be more than happy to get you some._ Then Blaine arrived back at the table clutching two paper cups. He set one down in front of Kurt, repeating his order, and Kurt smiled up at him, accepting it.

Blaine grinned and sat down. He was trying to remember to continue being extra smiley and dapper to make Kurt happy, and he was trying to focus on his scarf wrapped around Kurt's soft, beautiful neck and how it would smell like him with he eventually got it back, rather than the spread of bruises it was covering up.

"How was your day?" Kurt asked.

"Lots of making up with the Warblers for skipping yesterday. I guess they were really worried," he shrugged.

"They sound like great friends."

"What about yours?" Blaine asked. "Puck still seemed pretty livid when I left yesterday."

"He just doesn't know any other way to show his affection but with his muscles. He really does like you. You two would probably get along better than he does with Finn, honestly."

"I'd like that. I'd like to get to know your friends better."

Kurt raised his eyebrows. That was a good point. "And I should get to know yours…"

Blaine laughed. "And transfer to Dalton, and wear the blazer!" He tugged at his lapels to show it off better. There was a white fingerless glove on his injured hand.

Kurt reached across the table and took the hand gingerly. Blaine flinched at first, but let Kurt pull it to the center of the table and examine it.

"The glove is so I won't mess with the bandage," Blaine explained. "And to make it less obvious."

"It's still swollen, isn't it?"

Blaine shook his head. "Not too bad."

Blaine had tried to hide it yesterday when Carole had her nursing supplies out, but Kurt had insisted she clean up his hand before she looked at his back, so it had been surgically cleaned and rebandaged long before Puckerman showed up. It was probably a good thing she had looked at it, since Blaine's fussing had undone a lot of the work Kurt had put in to cleaning it out initially, but now the good, tight bandages just kept constantly reminding him of what he'd done. He'd carried a small stress ball to class to mess with in order to keep his good hand occupied.

Kurt ran his thumb across the back of Blaine's hand.

"I'm seeing my therapist tonight," Blaine supplied.

Kurt looked up. "Really? When?"

"After my date with you. At five thirty."

Kurt tried to smile, but hearing that his boyfriend is going to therapy wasn't something he'd ever expected to be happy about. "That's great, Blaine."

"It will be," Blaine insisted, trying to sound positive. "I'm going to try everything, do whatever it takes, open all the old wounds… not literally! I'm going to start over, get back to where I should have started and be the man I thought I was in December. When I first asked you to have coffee with me." He looked up and smiled.

Kurt glanced around the coffee shop, then leaned forward slightly. Blaine stood and leaned over the table to close the distance between them. The kiss was short, and no one else even seemed to notice. Blaine sat back down.

"I'm glad you did ask me," Kurt said. "I would have never had the nerve to, and then life would just have kept being miserable." He laughed, but Blaine sat silently, staring at his coffee.

After a moment he said softly, "I'm sorry for being defective."

"You're not defective." Kurt frowned. It was weird to see this new side of Blaine, this frazzled and unsure, childlike demeanor that needed comfort and reassurance. There had been glimpses of it over the past few months, just little pieces where Blaine would flinch or become easily angered or defensive about small things, but it was always overshadowed by the put-together man who knew what he was doing and who supplied Kurt with courage and encouragement. It was just like the goofy, adorableness full of sunshine that shone through every once and a while. They were just different shades of the same color, and it was a color Kurt wanted to dress to match. "Blaine…"

"I really will fix this."

"I know."

"I'm going to be better. I'll be right for you and make you proud of me—"

"Blaine." Kurt was squeezing the wrist of his gloved hand. "Stop. Do you not see me being completely in love with you?" Blaine looked up at Kurt, hopefully, then his gaze dropped back to the table and his eyes shot back and forth nervously. "You don't need to get 'better' because you're already amazing and talented and absolutely gorgeous. So don't even think about self pity now. I'm fine, you're going to be fine, and I only have you for a few more hours today, so let's forget it and talk about how Mr. Schue is going to make me join New Directions Booty Camp as soon as I've recovered, which, first of all I do not need, and secondly is never going to make us all good dancers because we still have Finn on our team."

Blaine tried to hold in a smile and failed as he agreed. They spent the rest of their date chatting about music and dance routines and sipping their coffee.

* * *

><p>At five o'clock, they got up so Blaine could make his appointment. Outside the sun was clinging to the bottom lip of the horizon.<p>

Blaine walked Kurt to his car and opened the door for him once it was unlocked. Before attempting to scramble in as gracefully as possible, Kurt unwrapped the scarf from his neck and looped it over Blaine's shoulders. He held on to the ends and stared at Blaine's chest as he moved in closer. "Call me when you get done tonight?"

Blaine placed his hands on Kurt's hips and stretched up to kiss his forehead. "I will."

Kurt moved both ends of the scarf into one hand and held it up higher. "You know we're okay, right?"

Blaine's breath hitched. Kurt's voice was serious, but his hips were leaning in close to Blaine's and his grip on the scarf was downright sexy. Kurt had never been sensual before. It was possible that the injuries had mellowed him out, but those green eyes looking through lashes at him, and the weight of the scarf being held around his neck was making standing there uncomfortable for his nether-regions and pressing into Kurt and pinning him against the side of the car was fighting for a place as the best course of action.

He just nodded, trying to stand his ground. He'd bruised Kurt, so he shouldn't get to press into or straddle anything. His brain was short-circuiting as Kurt moved in for a peck on the lips.

"We wouldn't have fought so hard to be together if it didn't mean something," Kurt said. He moved slowly, remembering what Carole had said about continuing to take it easy for a little while, at least while the gash closed up, and he ran his free hand along the side of Blaine's neck just above the scarf. "Whatever happened, whatever's going on, I'm here for you."

Blaine couldn't come up with words. He leaned in and accepted a kiss, thankful for the shield of the door and the darkly tinted window of Kurt's car between them and the Lima Bean to keep them covered. "You too," he managed after one more kiss, then Kurt let him go.

"Don't forget to call."

Blaine helped Kurt into the front seat of the car and leaned over to buckle him in, another kiss, then he backed away, preparing to shut the door. "I wouldn't forget you."

He closed it, and waved, then headed to his own car while Kurt checked his messages, which were mostly from Puck and mostly variations on _BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORED!_

Blaine had one message on his phone from a number he didn't recognize. He opened it as he slid into his car. A chill shot through his body.

_I want to talk to you. –Finn_

* * *

><p><strong>AN**- It occurred to me while writing this chapter that I had no idea how far Westerville was from Lima. It turns out it's almost 2 hours away! Yikes! I guess Glee didn't know it was that far either, because even if you assume that Dalton is a boarding school, it would mean that Kurt and Blaine would have been ditching school kind of a lot in the canon to see each other for a while there, wouldn't it? The writers probably looked it up and assumed Ohio traffic is the same as LA traffic and thought 2 hours was the equivalent of just a few miles. Anyway, for this story I've been working with the assumption that Dalton is just in the next district over, so please just go with it. It's too late to turn back now!

I was listening to "How Will I Know" because it's the most beautiful cover Glee's done (possibly ever) and after it was over, my roommate countered with Cher's "It's in His Kiss" as the answer to "How will I know if he really loves me?" so I may or may not have been thinking about that for this chapter.


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N**- Aaaaand we're finally back! I have a new fic to recommend for you, which you are welcome to blame for everything. "The Bones of You" by Stoney. Also read "Where There's Smoke," (also by Stoney). They're both absolutely fantastic! Between that and classwork my life has been too used up to write for a while… but here we are!

* * *

><p><strong>Just Like the White Winged Dove<strong>

* * *

><p>Waiting on Kurt's bed when he got home Wednesday night was the file folder. It was lying open with the articles and papers spread across his comforter. His face went red, his muscles tensed, sending a wave of pain through his back. He shucked off his jacket and threw his coat down on the bed beside it, papers flew into the air and fluttered down on the duvet. He scooped up all the papers, crinkling and crumpling as many as possible, and heaved it all into his trash bin. Then he turned and huffed back out of his room.<p>

* * *

><p>Blaine sighed heavily as he flopped down on his bed late that evening. He swiped through his phone to find Kurt's picture, the one after he'd had three cups of coffee and launched into a giggle fit outside the Lima Bean not long after Valentine's Day. He'd been holding his scarf to his mouth, trying in vain to stop Blaine from snapping the picture as he struggled for breath.<p>

In the image his whole face was buckled into a smile, teeth showing around the edge of the scarf. He was peeking up under lashes, eyes squinting, almost shut, and that sliver of green was looking right at Blaine. Kurt had insisted it was an awful picture and could not be held for blackmail, but Blaine loved it.

He opened it up and stared at it. Kurt had always made him feel better about himself, but since Monday the pang of guilt had been overshadowing the euphoria. He clutched the phone to his chest.

There was still that text from earlier. He took a deep breath before leaving Kurt's smiling face and opening the message.

_I want to talk to you. –Finn_

He ran his tongue over the front side of his teeth. _Okay. When and where?_ Then he got up to take a shower and find something to eat from the kitchen.

When he returned about an hour later, sitting down at his desk to get through some homework, his phone lit up with a reply.

_Midnight tonight, McKinley gym._

Blaine looked over to check his clock. It was well after eight P.M.. He looked down at the message again. He leaned back in his chair and replied, _Um. No?_

It took fifteen minutes for a reply to come through, _You said you wanted to meet!_

_How about I meet you in broad daylight, somewhere well-populated and safe?_

A few minutes and then, _This is not up for negotiation._

He frowned at the phone. _I'm not an idiot, Finn._

Blaine finished taking notes from five pages of his textbook before another response came. He rolled his eyes, seriously considered ignoring it, but when he looked down at the screen, he snatched it up immediately.

It was from Kurt. _How did your appointment go?_

He smiled. _Fabulous, like you._ After he hit Send, a pang of guilt popped up. He said he'd call afterwards. Here he was, once again being an awful, worthless boyfriend.

Finn's response popped up. _Fine. But I'm really busy with Glee this week._

Blaine sighed. Of course he was. It was dangerous, shifty times of the night, or nothing at all.

Another message from Kurt lit up, _Details? Or are you busy?_

_Just homework. _He stared at the message before sending it, and immediately followed it with a call.

After a single ring, Kurt answered, _"I was expecting you'd call."_

"Sorry it took me so long… I was looking at your picture just now."

"_Oh? Which one?"_

Blaine smiled and leaned back in his chair. "The one you hate."

Kurt groaned. _"I swear, I could send you any number of more flattering pictures."_

"Oh?" Blaine asked, suggestively. He could feel his cheeks flaring up. At some point their relationship had to reach the point where he didn't feel guilty about being physically turned on by the mere idea of Kurt. He bit his lip to school his smile as Kurt giggled.

"_Aaanyway,"_ his voice was breathy, _"Your appointment went well?"_

Blaine tried not to sigh aloud. "Yeah. Yes, it was fine."

"_So, no details then?"_

"It was fine. I mean… he reopened my case—"

"'_Reopened your case'? Sounds like an episode of Cold Case."_

Blaine paused, "I guess it's kind of like that…"

Kurt's tone dropped, _"I'm sorry. I didn't mean…Just, keep going."_

"Um…Basically, I'm trying something new, working backwards to kind of get to the heart of…" he searched for a word that didn't sting, but gave up, "my problem. Ah... I have a new prescription for something that's supposed to calm me down if I have an episode again."

"_An episode?"_

Blaine swallowed. "That's what he called it when I…"

"_Oh."_

"Yeah. He told me it was a panic attack… of some kind. Apparently I take this and it calms me down so it shouldn't… it shouldn't happen again." There was a huge lump in Blaine's throat. The image of Kurt's face immediately after he'd hit the locker was seared into his mind; his eyes screwed closed, the shock in them when they flew open again. The sound of his teeth actually rattling, and the slam of the locker… His stomach turned over violently.

Kurt was quiet for a moment. _"I love you."_

Blaine forced a breath and closed his eyes. "I know. I love you too."

"_You're okay?"_

Blaine turned in his desk chair. "Let's not talk about it right now."

There was another pause. _"Blaine..." _They were both silent for several long seconds.

"I should just…"

"_I meant to be entertaining. Just let me think for a second. Have you seen the new Gaultier line?"_

"From… from this week?"

Kurt hummed slightly and apologized. Blaine smiled. Somehow Kurt always managed to keep up with fashion, come hell or high water. Somehow he always seemed to manage to keep up with everything and with everyone. He remained on top of his life even when they weren't seeing each other, even when it had been weeks since they'd seen each other. Meanwhile Blaine had just felt like he was being useless and letting everyone down. If he had just one ounce of Kurt's strength, that fire that set everyone alive and captivated him completely from the very first moment... He squeezed his fist around the tight bandage, still a bit damp from the shower.

Kurt had started on something else. He was talking about how the next time they went shopping he wanted Blaine to try on a particular pair of pants. Blaine closed his eyes and leaned against his phone, trying to draw in every last decibel of Kurt's voice.

"_Blaine?"_

He opened his eyes. "Sorry. I'm listening."

"_I didn't mean to bore you. What do you want to talk about?" _Kurt tried.

"No, it really is interesting, Kurt. I just… long day."

Kurt hummed sympathetically, _"Because of the therapist?"_

"I should… I still have homework." His heart was pounding. _"It's everything,"_ he thought, _"It's the therapist, it's Finn, it's _you_… your voice is so soothing I can't think about everything else, but I'm terrified that I'm going to lose you if I can't fix this…"_

"_Blaine?"_ Kurt whispered, and his voice dropped to almost a whisper, _"Please don't close off on me."_

"I'm not. I won't, it's just… long day."

"_Okay. We'll talk tomorrow?"_

"Yeah," Blaine said. The memory of Kurt looping his scarf around his neck blazed through his mind, then the look after he hit the locker. Kurt was already saying '_Goodnight'_ to him. "Kurt?"

"_Yeah?"_

The breath he drew in was shaky, so he took another one before he whispered back, "What if they can't cure me?"

Kurt was quiet for a moment, and Blaine wiped the corners of his eyes raw in the silence. His heart was pounding. The session hadn't gone well. It had been like torture to be back in that room reliving everything from the last incident where he'd lashed out at an upperclassman, and all the way back to his transfer. It was awful. His whole life felt shaky and raw.

" _It's probably because you don't have a disease."_

Blaine let out a laugh that was half sob, half hiccup.

"_By the way, I looked up The Incredible Hulk today. Promise me you'll never get involved with unstable gamma radiation?"_

Another laugh. His nose was running now, but he didn't want to wipe it on the back of his hand. He leaned most of the way out of his chair for a tissue.

"_We're going to get through this, Blaine."_

"Thanks."

"_It's going to be okay."_

"Yeah…"

"_Do you want me to come over?"_

"No, don't worry about it. I've got homework…"

"_Okay…I'll talk to you again tomorrow."_

He smiled, "Okay."

"_And you'd best be catching up with Paris fashion week, because there will be a quiz."_

"I love you," Blaine squeaked, then cleared his throat.

"_I love you too. Goodnight."_

"Night." He laid his head down on the desk and breathed deeply for several minutes, reopening the picture of Kurt to stare at, trying to cool his heartbeat. After a few moments his head popped back up and he typed a response to Finn.

_I'll come to you. On Monday in your auditorium. You bring your Glee club, I'll bring mine. _It read enough like a Westside Story challenge to hopefully satisfy Finn's dramatic resolve. He then sent out a text to Wes, _Emergency! I need to schedule a musical intervention! _And one to Kurt, _I love you. Be patient with me._

Kurt's response was immediate, '_Patience' is my cleverly disguised middle name. _

Blaine kissed the screen of his phone. He carefully packed all his homework away and pulled out a blank sheet of music paper, casually scratching the back of his bandaged hand.

* * *

><p>The rest of the week and into the weekend Blaine apologized a lot, but Kurt didn't get to see him in person. They talked for an hour every night, then whatever was keeping Blaine busy would tear him away. Kurt told himself not to worry. He'd asked for space once, and he could give the same. He could do patience, and besides, as his motor functions fully returned, he found that making up for lost time with the choreography was harder than he'd anticipated. Between Brittney's lack of teaching skill and Mike Chang's preoccupation with getting Finn through single moves without hurting anyone, Kurt had to make up for lost time by hanging out at Rachel's house most of the weekend. On Saturday he was wearing stylish sweats and going over the moves again and again with Miss Perfectionist herself, thankful for the invention of painkillers.<p>

"No! No! No! No, Kurt. See here. You see how the inside of your left foot is facing at a forty-five degree angle to your right? It needs to be wider or you're going to be off balance in the double step."

"That's five steps away, Rachel."

"This is important! We're going to learn every possible step combination so we're ready when we decide on the songs for Nationals. Don't you want to be perfect?" she flipped a braid over her shoulder and placed a hand on her hip.

Kurt sighed, "Yes."

"Good, then let's go over it again!"

They'd been going at it for a day and a half and hadn't completed the whole first routine to her satisfaction. Rachel's nose was still taped and bruised, but the break had been clean and she was healing. She'd had no more delusions about plastic surgery after Kurt sent her a compilation of photos of botched nose jobs. However, she hadn't been able to begin dancing with the rest of them, so she was taking over the role of dance teacher and directing Kurt's movements with a powerpoint presentation and a long stick.

"We're going to be perfect on that stage, Kurt. New York is going to smile on us and welcome us in with big, open arms, and you know why it's going to do that? Because our steps are going to be perfect. Our smiles are going to be perfect. We are perfect. We are stars, Mister Hummel. Big, shining stars!" Kurt tried to seem impressed, but the same soliloquy had been gracing their practice after every mistake and it was getting tedious. On top of that, following her crazy vegan diet while at her house was driving him insane. He'd never craved yogurt so badly in his life.

"Rachel!" he said sharply, snapping her out of it as she began to move into the part about how stars were formed, "Can we just move on? I want to actually get this by Monday."

At that moment the screen of his phone lit up and he lunged for it, only to be disappointed when it read _Tina_ and not _Blaine_.

"Expecting something?" Rachel asked.

Kurt tossed his phone back down onto the couch. It bounced and slid between the cushions. "No."

She reached over to retrieve it for him, asking, "Blaine?"

"No," he repeated, getting into position for the beginning of the move and going through the first few steps again.

"Are you two… you know?... Okay?"

"Of course. Why wouldn't we be?" He reversed the steps back to where he started.

"Well, after what happened…"

"Nothing happened," he cut her off, not looking over at her. She opened his inbox and he stepped forward and snatched the phone back from her.

She looked at him pointedly. "You know I know what happened, Kurt."

Kurt clutched the phone to his chest. His back felt sore and achy. "I should take a break."

As he moved toward the stairs, Rachel caught his arm. "Kurt. I already know. Why can't we talk about this?"

He looked back at her, drew himself up to his full height, and raised his chin. "Well _I_ don't know. _I_ didn't read the file." He snorted, "You know it was spread across my bed on Wednesday? Like… Finn thinks it's still okay to taunt me with it. After everything it caused!"

Rachel looked down at the ground, then pulled him to the couch. They sat down side by side and Kurt turned his phone over between his hands. "Can I tell you something?" she asked.

"If you're apologizing for your sweater collection being atrocious, it's okay. It goes without saying."

She leaned against his arm good naturedly. "I know you know I put that file together. So it's… kinda my fault everything got carried away and crazy. I didn't mean for it to."

"I know."

"I mean… I've read all of it, but I really never thought he would hurt you like that."

Kurt's eyes flashed. "Finn broke your nose, Rachel."

"I know," she held up both hands in defense. "I know…"

Kurt ran his tongue along the backside of his teeth. "I am not a victim in this."

"I know! I mean, like you said, I have a broken nose. I _do_ know. But… you kind of _are_ the victim, Kurt. Maybe not with what happened with Blaine. I completely understand. People have been taking about whether or not you should even see him anymore, but he didn't mean to hurt you, did he? He isn't manipulating you or hurting you for fun. I know he cares about you. I've seen how he looks at you, especially when you're not looking back. It isn't abuse. I certainly don't see you being in an abusive relationship… But… I read the whole file. I _found_ the whole file… What's going on with him is something big. It's something… no one should have to deal with at our age. Or ever. I don't know how much you know, or what he's told you—"

"I haven't read it," Kurt reminded her.

She nodded. "I gave it to Finn because I thought that maybe he'd know how to tell you about it. He's such a leader, or… he was… I really thought so… and someone needed to let you know. To prepare you… so you wouldn't _get_ hurt." She took his hands. Kurt swallowed. "Kurt, Blaine got hurt bad once, and it wasn't very long ago. Honestly, knowing him, seeing him, the way he acts, the way he… performs! I don't know how he could have gotten to there, from where he was. I don't know how he… how he's so… _Blaine_. I really like him, Kurt. I like him for you. I just wanted you to be aware of everything. I honestly thought Finn was going to tell you that. You should have been told about it and I didn't think… I didn't think Blaine could have been the one to say it. I'm sorry it turned out like this."

Kurt shrugged, blinking rapidly. Mental images of Blaine lying bloody on a locker room floor, in an alleyway, of being punched in the gut, wheeled on a gurney… The mental images stopped after that. He realized he had no idea how bad it had been. Had he ever been in a body cast? There weren't even scars, at least one the visible parts. Was there more? Had he been…?

Rachel was speaking again. "When he broke up with me it was right after I gave it to him. Not the same day, of course, but it wasn't that long after. I think… thinking back, you had that date that day, because you left it to come comfort me, remember? I think Finn knew that you two were together and he broke up with me—" her voice cracked, "Because he knew it'd be a way to separate the two of you. Cause… he knew I'd call you."

She sniffed, then convulsed with a small sob. Kurt pulled her closer and she leaned her head against his shoulder.

"Boys are really stupid, huh?" she sniffed, wiping her cheek with the edge of her sleeve. He grabbed a wad of tissues from the table beside him, then kissed her on the head, and leaned against her.

* * *

><p>On Monday Kurt shuffled into the choir room, phone in his hand, where it had been all day except for when it was on his desk—a position he'd convince all his teachers was acceptable since it meant they could be assured it wasn't under his desk sending and receiving texts. He took a seat as far away from Rachel as possible. They'd spent a fabulous weekend consoling each other and reworking her entire wardrobe during their dance routine breaks, but there was only so much Rachel Berry a person could handle at a time.<p>

Once he was seated he just gazed at the screen. He'd put a picture of himself and Blaine together, wearing color coordinated scarves and leaning in. It was part of a series he'd taken of them both doing duck lips, but in this one they'd cracked up just as he snapped it and Blaine had the most adorable, dorky smile across his face and he was looking directly at Kurt. That was his favorite—when Blaine would just smile unabatedly and there was no sign of anything buried underneath. It lit him with hope.

Sam was leaning over to ask him a question when Schuester burst into the room, clapping his hands together. "Everyone? I know today we were supposed to start brainstorming song selections before getting our booties in shape for the competition," Everyone groaned, "But first we happen to have something very special waiting for us in the auditorium. And it's courtesy of Finn?"

Finn raised his eyebrows and looked around, confused. His eyes settled on Kurt, but Kurt looked away, nonplussed.

Everyone picked their things back up and headed for the auditorium, which was completely empty. Kurt sat down a few rows from the front and didn't make eye contact with Mercedes when she sat in front of him and turned around.

Schuester called for quiet and the lights on the stage came on.

Kurt's heartbeat sped up when the first a capella "Ba!" of the opening progression ring out from the side of the stage. He was on his feet without remembering the act of standing. He lurched around the seats and clutched the edge of the orchestra pit as blue blazers began to file onto the stage.

From the back door of the auditorium came Blaine's voice, "_Hey, slow it down…"_ Kurt whipped around. With the dim lighting he could just barely see Blaine descending the stairs to his left. His hands shot to his chest. _"Whataya want from me? Whataya want from me? Yeah, I'm afraid…"_

The Warblers had moved onto the stage and were forming a concave arc across it, swaying. One of them had taken over the response _"Whataya want from me?_" the second one after Blaine's.

_"There might've been a time when I would give myself away. Oh, once upon a time I didn't give a damn, but now?"_ He reached the bottom step and was facing Kurt. He held out a hand, but Kurt couldn't uproot himself from the spot. He held out a hand in response. _"Here we are. So whataya want from me?..."_

He walked quickly and reached Kurt, shooting a look directly at Finn before taking Kurt's hand. _"Just don't give up, I'm working it out. Please don't give in, I won't let you down."_

Kurt drew in a shaky breath and drew Blaine's hand up to his lips. There was a loud "WHOOP!" from Puck.

_"It messed me up, need a second to breathe. Just keep coming around…"_ He returned the kiss, his lips to Kurt's, and this time picked up the second _"Whataya want from me."_ He jumped onto the stage to the sound of a few whistles and cheers and fell in with the Warblers while they rose through the chorus.

_"Yeah, it's plain to see that baby, you're beautiful—and there's nothing wrong with you."_ Blaine's hand was over his heart, and both of Kurt's were against his lips, trying to keep his bottom lip from pouting. Behind him, Finn was shifting uncomfortably. Blaine's other hand rose to meet the first. _"It's me. I'm a freak."_

Kurt took the second to glance back at his stepbrother. He was looking down at his lap while the rest of the club were completely engrossed in the performance, a few grinning over at him with winks. His head snapped back to the stage. _"But thanks for loving me, cause you're doing it perfectly."_

Blaine mimed a slight swoon, and Kurt could feel the smile bubbling up over his face.

_"There might have been a time when I would let you slip away—"_ Kurt noticed a few of the Warblers roll their eyes. _"I wouldn't even try—"_ Blaine was advancing to the front of the stage again and he dropped to his knees just in front of Kurt, _"But I think you could save my life!"_

The Warblers took over the chorus, and Blaine ran in a harmony over it. They ran through the chorus twice more, and it ended with Kurt's hands curled over Blaine's and pressed against Blaine's lips. _"No, I won't let you down…"_

The New Directions were on their feet for a round of applause, a few of them already climbing onto the stage to clap various Warblers on the back. Trent winked at Mike Chang and Tina shot a look at her boyfriend.

Blaine's eyes shot past Kurt to Finn, who was on his feet clapping slowly and half-heartedly. Blaine slid down off the stage so he was standing beside Kurt, and turned his eyes back to his boyfriend, looking at him hopefully.

"That was awesome, guys! Wow!" Schuester cheered.

Kurt sucked in his lips and grinned. "Show stealer."

Blaine laughed and wrapped his arms around Kurt's neck, gingerly, and buried his head against Kurt's neck. That smell would always be intoxicating.

"Is this why I couldn't see you all weekend?" Kurt asked when they pulled back. "Rehearsing with the Warblers to sweep me off my feet?"

"Yes," he smiled and hung his head good naturedly. "I'm so sorry. I needed to figure out what I wanted to say. Do you forgive me?"

Kurt smiled. "I'd have waited forever."

Blaine ran his thumb across Kurt's cheek. "Me too."

Then he turned to Finn and raised his eyebrows. Finn shrugged. Blaine nodded, then kissed Kurt's cheek.

"We're sorry to take up so much of your rehearsal time," Wes said over the noise of the group.

Blaine gave Kurt a "That's my signal!" look.

"It's always a pleasure having you here," Schuester said, coming over and patting Blaine on the back as he turned to make his way onto the stage to join his Glee club. Kurt squeezed his hand, but let him go. "Thanks for coming over here and helping to get us in gear!" Schuester continued.

"It's a pleasure being here," Wes replied. "But now we'll get off your stage and let you get back to preparing for Nationals."

"Let's give the Warblers another round of applause, everyone," Schuester said. Over the scattered enthusiastic clapping Blaine raised his hands to his lips, then opened them up to everyone. He backed off the stage with the rest of the Warblers, keeping constant eye-contact with Kurt, and winking before he disappeared behind the curtains.

"Man! I _love_ those guys!" Puck said.

Finn approached Kurt with his eyes fixed on the floor. He looked up and gave Kurt a sad half-smile. "I really was just looking out for you," he said.

Kurt nodded slowly, then patted him on the arm. "Sorry works better," he said, then made to slip away, hoping to catch Blaine for one last kiss before he left the building.

Finn stopped him with one arm.

"Yes, Finn?" Kurt asked, wishing the man weren't quite so tall and muscle-y.

"Blaine and I need to talk," he said, then waited until Kurt's weight rested back on both feet and his arms were crossed before stalking out to catch the Warblers.

* * *

><p>Blaine seriously considered just staying at McKinley and waiting for Kurt to finish for the day, but the Warblers had come over as a group so it felt wrong not to leave with them.<p>

The sound of his name, however, made him stop and lag behind. A few of his friends stopped and turned around to wait with him, but he waved at them and told them to go ahead.

Finn lumbered up to him, standing a whole head taller. Blaine wished being beside Finn didn't make him feel so incredibly small. He straightened the edges of his blazer. "Finn," he acknowledged.

After several long moments of staring in silence, Blaine realized Finn was probably waiting for him to make the first move.

"So…" he prompted.

"Yeah," Finn replied. When they had been on good terms, when Blaine had been invited to dinner a while back, the conversation had at least been slightly more riveting. Blaine waited for it to go on, but instead it just seemed like Finn was trying to loom over him more and more, like maybe he'd eventually cower and run away and they'd forget the whole confrontation.

After a few moments Blaine got tired of it and held out a hand, "Truce?"

Finn didn't take it. "You hurt Kurt."

Blaine swallowed and dropped his hand. "I know."

"Bad."

"I know."

"You shouldn't be with him."

Blaine nodded slowly. "I know."

"But he really cares about you." Blaine smiled, but said nothing and it took Finn a few seconds to gather his next thought. "But I'll be honest with you, man. I think it's because he doesn't know everything about you."

"_You_ do," Blaine said tartly.

"You're dangerous."

"… I know."

"He doesn't know what he's getting into with you and he could get hurt. You shouldn't be with him."

This time Blaine just nodded. It was easy enough to stand there with his chin up and look Finn in the eye, but not to respond when he was right. He couldn't do anything but nod and clench his fists, irritating the healing skin on his right hand.

Finn shook his head and then stepped back. Blaine blinked. "Dude. Why aren't you standing up for yourself?"

Blaine swallowed and took his time before asking, "Do I deserve it?"

"He chose you, he cares about you, and in case you hadn't noticed, there's nothing I can do to convince him you're crazy!"

"What are you saying?"

Finn let out a laugh. "I can't stand that he won't listen to me, but he's right, you know? And maybe I've been being a bit of…"

"…An asshole?" Blaine supplied.

Finn frowned, "… But Kurt's… maybe he's better than that. He's smart… really smart. And he's a risk taker. He's willing to stand up for what he believes in… I guess I just… Man. Why didn't you fight for him?"

Blaine blinked. "Excuse me?"

"I mean, I know _why_ you didn't. But you just backed down. I honestly thought you'd fight for him. Even before last week, you were willing to let him go, weren't you?"

"No," Blaine challenged.

"Do you even think you deserve him?"

Blaine shook his head and whispered, "No."

Finn threw up his hands. "But _he_ thinks you do. He chose you. He cares about you, so you _do_. You know, one time I told him I thought your hair was stupid and he chewed me out saying," he put on a falsetto to mimic Kurt, "It's perfect and you're perfect and you're better at everything than anyone else and—it made my head hurt, cause you're _not_. And even though I know it, and you know that you don't deserve him, _he_ deserves to have you. And you know what else? He might just be the best thing that ever happens to you."

Blaine's mouth was hanging open. His eyes went wide. "Like with you and Rachel…?"

Finn didn't say anything for a moment. His eyes rolled and scanned and didn't focus on anything.

After a while Blaine began gently. "You're right. He _is_ the best thing that's ever happened to me. Kurt's… Kurt's my perfect thing, all the time, even when he's ridiculous or difficult or… whatever else I'm going to learn about him. I will be perfect for him. You're going to make sure of that." Finn shrugged, his hands were in his pants pockets. "Can we be friends?"

"I was looking out for him."

"I know. You're a good brother."

"I'm sorry I tried to break you guys up… and turn everyone against you. I just got freaked out after reading all that stuff."

"We have that in common," Blaine said, bitterly. "But I won't…" he worked his jaw and blinked hard, "I won't hurt him again. I mean I… I'll try."

Finn shrugged, "We're all just human, right?"

Blaine chuckled bitterly and smirked. "So… truce?"

"For Kurt," Finn reached out and took Blaine's hand, shaking it firmly, and lingering so Blaine had to pull his hand out of Finn's grip to end the gesture. "You know, he's really happy when you're around."

"He makes me happy too," Blaine replied, turning to catch up with his fellow Warblers. "And thanks, Finn."

"You're coming over on Friday for dinner, right?"

"If he invites me."

Finn nodded and gave him a half smile. "Yeah, you're invited."

* * *

><p><strong>AN**- Conflict mostly resolved? MAYBE. This story is definitely wrapping up in the near future.

Some of you have been soliciting smut (I understand completely), but this will likely be a smut-less fic. However! I've got two more fics planned for working on this summer, and I promise I'll try to fulfill your needs in those ones. This is the fluffy romantic fic. Please continue to enjoy!


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N**- Oh dear god. I wrote the last chapter like an episode of Glee and some of you caught me on it. XD I agree. Finn is awful. I went so easy on him (why do they ALWAYS go easy on him?) so I'll try to make up for it. We're winding down. Unless something dramatic comes up, I'm planning on roughly one or two more chapters after this one.

Also I come bearing a new fic recommendation. "Syrup and Honey" by heartsmadeofbooks. I was super resistant to reading it, and the first chapter is admittedly not the greatest, but by the time I got to the third chapter it was so sweet and I was hooked and fully beyond the fact that there is no logical way for someone to run a bakery by himself. Just… at all. You would always have a minimum of two other employees. Also Kurt should have bought Blaine a plant for his apartment…But I got over it and absolutely fell in love.

**THIS CHAPTER HAS TRIGGER WARNINGS**. We're going to do a bit of Blaine's past, so if you're sensitive to things being brought up that are fairly much bad ('fairly much bad' is proper terminology and it involves discussed but not too graphically described violence and such) then you won't miss much if you choose to skip this chapter and join us again for the next one where things will pick up again.

* * *

><p><strong>Just Like the White Winged Dove<strong>

* * *

><p>"So… there's one major event that falls between now and our inevitable win at Nationals," Kurt mentioned, the very face of nonchalance. It was Wednesday, a week later and they had been discussing the song choices for the coming competition and the fights over which member of New Directions deserved to get the solos in New York. Blaine's bandage had come off the previous day with only minor marks still apparent—Carole had done an excellent job caring for it—and Kurt was already mostly rid of the pain from his back.<p>

Blaine paused for a moment, then pried the lid off his coffee cup so he could dip the end of his biscotti in. "Oh?"

"And I know it's still a long ways away, but I figured it doesn't hurt to start preparing early. Finn's already asked Rachel and been turned down brutally. I guess I'm sort of proud of her for it, but anyway…" Blaine raised his eyebrows and waited while Kurt sucked in his lips and took a deep, excited breath. "Give me your hand."

Blaine chewed on his bite of biscotti, slid his hand across the table where it was scooped up in Kurt's. He swallowed, and asked, "Should I be concerned?"

Kurt shook his head, looked down at their hands and took another deep breath, bouncing his knee a little. "Blaine?"

"Yes?" Blaine chuckled.

Kurt looked him in the eyes. "Would you go to prom with me?"

Blaine's eyes went wide and his mouth fell open. "P-prom?"

Kurt's face fell, he tensed, then his eyes went wide as well. "Oh. Oh! Oh my god. I'm so sorry." He dropped Blaine's hand and pulled his own back into his lap.

"Wait. Kurt!" Blaine tried to snatch Kurt's hands back as they slid away but missed them and almost succeeded in knocking his coffee over.

"No, I just wasn't even thinking. That was so stupid of me. Of course you wouldn't want to go. I just got excited. You know how I am about elaborate outfits and shiny fabrics. I just go all Project Runway and… Wow I'm just… I'm so sorry."

Blaine leaned across the table, trying to coax Kurt's hand back toward his. "It's not that I don't want to go with you…"

"No. I completely understand. It was stupid. Let's just talk about something else. It's almost warm enough to pull out the spring wardrobe already! Yay!"

"Kurt—"

"Lots of sewing and modifications to make, of course…"

"Kurt," Blaine said firmly. "Kurt you know I care about you and I want to take you to things like that, it's just…"

"I know. I know. Let's just forget about it. I shouldn't have asked," Kurt shifted in his chair, grabbed his coffee cup and took a long sip, recrossing his legs. His cheeks were growing more and more pink.

"Kurt…" Blaine sat back in his chair. "Maybe… maybe if the therapy keeps going well. It is a long ways off…"

"No. Don't worry about it. We'll get gussied up and go do something completely different that day. We'll go see a movie or something. We'll play it safe."

"Give me your hand back?" Blaine asked. Kurt placed one hand stiffly in the center of the table, palm down. Blaine picked it up and turned it over. "I _do_ want to go to your junior prom with you."

"I know. But it's okay, we'll just—"

Blaine cut him off, "So, my answer for you is 'yes.' Yes, we'll go."

"Blaine… we don't have to…"

"I let bullies push me around and chase me away and I… I don't want you to have to do the same. We'll go. It… it'll be fun."

Kurt sat quietly for a moment, a small smile on his face, tilting his head to gaze up at Blaine. After a while he squeezed Blaine's hand. "Blaine… I still don't know enough… or anything, about what happened… before. I mean, we haven't really talked about it since the locker incident, and I never read that file…"

"I know. Rachel said that you threw that away."

Kurt frowned. "How often do you two talk? And yes. I… well. I did throw it away, in that little bin that was mostly for decoration? I stuffed all the papers in there and then…" he paused to suck in his cheeks, "And then I put it in my closet."

"…What?"

"Let me tell you, with that bin missing, the balance in my room has been off for weeks!"

Blaine blinked, "So you… you still have it?"

Kurt pulled his hand back again, letting it linger on the edge of the table. "I didn't know what to do with it. I couldn't stand to look at it; it was spread all over my bed just… waiting for me."

"So you just-?"

"I crumpled it up, threw it in the trashcan, and then I just… I panicked! That trashcan was just there for decoration. I put the whole thing in the back of my closet and left it there." He took another long swig of coffee and stared off at the lone barista behind the counter who was searching for something in the pocket of his apron.

Blaine looked down at his coffee cup lid. It was flipped upside down, a ring of cold coffee around the inside lip. He scooted it with the tip of his finger till it lined up with the table edge. "You still have it…"

Kurt took a minute, swallowing and biting his lower lip before answering. "I still have it."

_"Calm down, calm down, calm down,"_ was playing like a mantra in Blaine's head. He hadn't known what to think about it being destroyed all week, but now that it hadn't been it felt like it had to be addressed. His therapy hadn't really gotten anywhere. He thought of the pills in the pocket of his bag. _"I can still do this,"_ he reminded himself. He looked up at Kurt, who was still avoiding his gaze and whose cheeks were warmed over with blush. "I still want to go to prom with you," Blaine insisted.

Kurt smiled and glanced back at him, sucking in his cheeks. "You do?"

Blaine nodded and held out his hand again, hoping he could just anchor himself, trying to dispel the images in his head of lockers and fists and the one of Kurt's face just after he hit—Kurt's hand was in his. His fingers closed around it. He leaned down and kissed the back of it.

"I shouldn't have asked, though. You don't think I'm too rude to go with?" Kurt asked. Blaine's shoulder convulsed in a short laugh as he shook his head and frowned comically. Kurt continued, raising his eyebrows. "Or bitchy, or full of myself, or pushy, or funny looking-?"

"Kurt!" Blaine stopped him, laughing and pulling Kurt's hand till he was close enough that he could reach across the table and cup Kurt's cheek. He couldn't hold in his incredulous smile. "What are you even talking about?"

"I just like it when you smile," Kurt admitted softly, his eyelashes fluttered. Blaine had to seriously school his fingers to keep from reaching back, knitting them through Kurt's thick hair and pulling him forward in a fit of passion so he could take that gorgeous boy right there in the middle of the coffee shop.

He and Kurt leaned back in their chairs at about the same time as one customer across the shop choked on her beverage. They each cleared their throats and raised their coffee cups to their lips.

After a moment of silence in which Blaine soaked and took another bite of biscotti, Kurt spoke again. "You have therapy after this?"

Blaine swallowed and nodded.

Kurt moved so his foot was pressed alongside Blaine's. "Will you ask your therapist something for me?"

Blaine tensed. "What do you want me to ask?"

Kurt tested his words in his mind and rolled his tongue over them several times before he spoke, "If it would be okay for you and me to look at that file together."

"…The file?"

"Only if you want to. I won't look at it on my own," Kurt assured him. "I want it to be okayed by a professional because I don't want to go against any progress you've made," Blaine looked away, "But… I'd like to get to know you, together. We could go slow… maybe look at one piece at a time and talk about it or something like that… you could tell me as much or as little as you're comfortable with. I just… I want to understand, Blaine. I want to know everything."

Blaine stayed silent for a long while and Kurt just told himself to breathe. He focused on the exact feeling of the air coming in through his nose and out through his mouth, trying not to breathe so fast as to hyperventilate. When Blaine finally moved to speak, Kurt's shoulders tensed.

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"We'd just… we'll go slow? Maybe stop if I get… if I can't handle-?"

"We'll stop whenever you want. Ask first, to make sure it's not a terrible idea, because I've had those on rare occasions…"

"You'll hold me through it?"

Kurt's face lit bright red all at once. "…What?"

Blaine blushed also. "Sorry, I didn't meant to… but if you'll just… if you'll hold me while we do this… I think I can do it. If it's with you… Kurt, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. So… so yes. Okay. We'll do this, and then we'll go to prom."

Kurt let out a breath, grinning, then he pushed up from the table, walked around it, and wrapped his arms briefly around Blaine's neck. He pulled away quickly, leaving Blaine wishing he'd acted fast enough to pull Kurt into his lap when those perfect lips were sinking down into his gelled hair.

Kurt sat back down with a proud grin on his face and hummed slightly, then he took another sip of coffee and nudged Blaine's foot with his own.

* * *

><p>Outside the coffee shop a few hours later, as they were walking toward Kurt's car, shoulders bumping together, a car door shut around the side of the store and a figure rounded the corner. Kurt paused his step, and Blaine turned to see what it was. The figure had spotted them and paused also. Very tentatively Kurt raised a hand and waved. The guy paused, stuck his hands into the pockets of his jeans then took one out to wave back. The guy looked pointedly between the two of them, the corner of his mouth twitching.<p>

"Karofsky," Kurt murmured. Blaine's thoughts snapped to attention.

"The guy who—?" he instinctively moved so that he was partly in front of Kurt and laced his fingers through his boyfriend's.

Karofsky noticed the movement and stared at their hands, then looked Blaine up and down before looking back at Kurt. Kurt noticed Blaine's defensiveness, but he just smiled and leaned into Blaine affectionately, then waved again at the other man and nudged Blaine to keep walking.

Karofsky nodded to himself and smiled, then picked up his step, walking more directly toward the front door of the Lima Bean.

* * *

><p>That Friday, after yet another friendly family dinner with Blaine in attendance and Finn sulking quietly, Kurt extracted the trash bin from the closet and set it ceremonially on the foot of his bed. Blaine was already sitting at the head of the bed with his knees to his chest, watching the bin carefully and chewing on the pad of his thumb. Kurt took Blaine's hand gently from his mouth and motioned for him to scoot.<p>

There was a knock at the door and Burt opened it. "Kurt? Carole and I are going out to catch a movie. Finn's staying in, but he's glued to the couch. You two going to be okay?"

Kurt had explained the plan to his dad as soon as Blaine had told him it would be okay, and he'd convinced Burt and Carole to go out for the evening by insisting it would make Blaine feel more comfortable. "We'll be fine, Dad. Have a good time," Kurt said, shooing him out and closing the door. Blaine smiled and waved, but didn't otherwise move.

Kurt pulled off his shoes and his tight vest so he'd only have the thin layer of his shirt separating him from Blaine, then he pulled the bin closer to Blaine's feet, crawled onto the bed, and sat behind Blaine, straddling him. He wrapped his arms around Blaine's waist and leaning his head on his shoulder.

"Is this okay?"

Blaine hadn't expected he'd be held quite so intimately. He had a strong impulse to lean back into Kurt, all the way back so they were lying together, to kick his whole past off the bed and just be there with the boy he wanted to be with in exactly the way he wanted to be with him. He felt the intensity running down his stomach and leaned back against Kurt. "Yes."

"Comfy?" Kurt laughed as Blaine placed his hands over Kurt's and tilted his head so his nose was nestled into Kurt's neck.

"Yes." He lifted one hand up and touched Kurt's cheek, guiding it so he could kiss his boyfriend. Kurt's breath caught and his eyes were unfocused when Blaine pulled away and twisted so he could see Kurt's face.

"The papers…" Kurt reminded him, breathlessly.

Blaine pressed his lips to Kurt's again, enjoying the soft cushion of their lips pressing against each other. "Just give me a minute," he sighed, and Kurt gasped again when Blaine leaned back against him. He liked this feeling of being in Kurt's room, completely aroused and safe, and the pounding of Kurt's heartbeat and his chest against his back, rising and falling with each breath. He wanted it to be just this with no impending disaster looming in the trash bin by his feet that was threatening to fall over. One kick and he could put the whole thing off. He could say 'no' and not have to deal with it. He could keep running away…

Kurt kissed his cheek. It was a long kiss, his nose pressing against Blaine's cheekbone and his lips lingering. When the pulled away, he shifted, and his own cheek replaced them. Blaine could feel the flutter of his eyelashes. He squeezed Kurt's arm.

"Ready?"

Blaine nodded slowly. "Which one should we start with?"

Kurt let go of Blaine with one arm and reached out with grabby fingers. Blaine pulled the bin closer so he could reach. "Do you have a preference?" Kurt asked, grasping the edge of the cylinder and settling it to the side of them.

"No," Blaine said softly. Just seeing the papers, the few words he could make out, the colors and textures of the different sheets. He knew or could guess what each one had on it. "You choose."

"Okay. We'll just do one for now."

"Then you'll keep kissing me?"

Kurt's hand was halfway raised to reach for the closest corner of a page, but his head dropped onto Blaine's shoulder in a fit of giggles and the hand dropped down to Blaine's waist, which he squeezed tightly with both his arms and his thighs.

"What?" Blaine asked, enjoying the feeling of being rocked back and forth by Kurt while he giggled beautifully.

"You're so cute," Kurt giggled. He squeezed Blaine's waist again and giggled harder, "And so thin!"

"So says you," Blaine teased, turning his head so he could kiss Kurt's temple.

Kurt pulled his head up from Blaine's shoulder in time to catch his lips. "We should sit like this more often. I like it. If I grow any more this could be really comfortable."

"Aww," Blaine kissed him again. "Short jokes? This could be a traumatizing moment for me."

Kurt smiled softly, biting his lip before landing another kiss. "And you just want me to be kissing you."

"Yes," Blaine moaned against Kurt's lips. He moved his leg, intending to flip over and maybe even risk pinning Kurt to the bed, maybe, but the bin rocked and toppled as his weight shifted. Two papers fluttered out. Kurt drew a long breath.

"Well, eeny, meeny, miney, moe!" Kurt said, grabbing one and flipping it over so they could both see.

Blaine's breath hitched. He snatched the paper out of Kurt's hand, tearing the edge, and hugged it to his chest. Kurt jumped slightly.

"Blaine…" He said softly. He waited, but Blaine just sat there, breathing deeply and clutching the paper to him. "Okay, we can start with the other one."

"No. No, you chose this one. This is fine. Maybe… Maybe I'm just not ready for this," Blaine said, peeling it away from his chest and glancing at it again, quickly so Kurt couldn't see. His hands were shaking already and everything seemed wrong. It was too fast, too harsh, too… Kurt's breath was skimming across his cheek.

"Okay. We don't have to," Kurt's voice was so soft, so grounding. Blaine leaned into him again.

"This is a medical report," he whispered. Kurt squeezed his waist again.

"When is it from?"

Blaine didn't even check. He shifted so Kurt's arms were higher up on his body. He took one of Kurt's hands and pressed it against his own heart and closed his eyes. Kurt kissed along the muscle in his neck.

"This was the second time I went to the hospital. About… like… last year or so? The psychiatric stuff started after this one." He took a breath. Kurt stayed perfectly silent, but the sound of his breath right beside Blaine's ear was comforting. He pulled the paper away, crossed his legs, and lay it on his lap. Kurt didn't reach for it. "The first time it was just getting beat up after a stupid dance. There was another guy, a friend of mine, and we didn't stand a chance. I think it was cracked ribs, bruises, broke my right collar bone. It mostly just hurt, they didn't do any real damage. I thought they were just cruel. It wasn't that scary."

"Blaine… I'm so sorry," Kurt whispered.

Blaine nodded. "But _this_ time…it was a couple months after. Or a year after. I don't really remember when it all happened. There was a lot of taunting and teasing in between. It all runs together. Once I was Out at my old school it was just constant. There would be words painted on my locker, my stuff would go missing, people throwing stuff at me… It built up. The other guy, my friend, left right away of course."

Kurt hummed sympathetically.

"But when this happened, it was after school. The first time there were three guys, but this time there were five, maybe six. And it was just me. Um…" he turned the report over so he wouldn't have to look at it. "I think it was just… my appendix ruptured, and my spleen ruptured… I don't even… I mean, it _hurt_. I remember it just hurting, so much. Lots of bruises. I guess, I… I thought… I had been taking self defense by that time. I think, I thought I could fight them off. But I couldn't… I just remember being helpless and I…"

Kurt hugged him and kissed his neck, but this time Blaine leaned away.

"They just… they kind of…"

"Your heartbeat…" Kurt murmured, pressing his hand splayed against Blaine's chest like that might slow it down. He turned his head and leaned it against Blaine's shoulder so his shirt could stop up some of his tears. He hadn't meant to be crying. He hated the way he could feel Blaine's whole body shake.

"I was terrified…They… they kind of… they…" he took a breath, "And the cops just made a joke about it. Someone must have called them, but I remember lying there on the asphalt with my eyes closed because there was blood… on my face, and I didn't want to get it in my eyes… and I was crying…and the cops were just standing there. I was bleeding and they were just waiting for the paramedics and… they joked about it." His voice cracked. "Can we stop now?"

"Yes," Kurt whispered. Blaine turned the paper back over and fingered the edge of it. Kurt wanted to be able to lift Blaine up, all the way into his arms and just cradle him and wash away everything that had happened. He wanted to make it all really, completely go away. He couldn't even imagine…

Blaine was talking at a higher pitch now, sort of laughing like it was hard to get it all out. "That was… that was all before I kind of lost it. I started lashing out. I had to be forcibly removed from my old school and it wasn't… it wasn't because of _that_ it was just they… they didn't like my attitude anymore. I was fighting back… getting paranoid…" Kurt pressed his face into Blaine's back and let himself just sob for both of them. Blaine wasn't crying. He was trembling, but he didn't cry. "Dalton's safe," he reminded Kurt.

"I love you," Kurt whispered. "Oh god, I'm so sorry, Blaine."

Very slowly, Blaine turned around. He moved all the paper and the bin off the bed and shifted them until Kurt was lying flat on his back and he could snuggle into his chest. He let Kurt curl up around him, burying his head against Blaine's hair. "Maybe we can try a less pivotal one next week," Blaine mumbled against Kurt's chest. "Like a grade report."

"We don't have to," Kurt whispered. "We don't… I'm so sorry, Blaine."

"Do you still want to know more?" Blaine asked, carefully. His hands were still trembling where they gripped at Kurt's shirt. He was getting lightheaded from short breaths, but he was determined to sound calm.

Kurt was quiet for a long time and shifted from fisting large handfuls of Blaine's clothes to stroking his arm and his hair. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah."

"Okay." Blaine breathed a sigh of relief. His eyes rolled shut and they stung from being held open for so long. Kurt was still holding him. Even if it was just pity, right now he was still there.

"Can I kiss you now?" Kurt asked, and Blaine barely even had to move before soft lips were crashing into his and wet cheeks were under his fingertips. They held each other in the perfect cadence of kissing, then broke away and lay in each other's arms, Kurt's fingers running lines up and down his back and occasionally brushing gently through his hair.

"Same time next week?" Blaine asked weakly, and Kurt nodded.

"Next week…"

"I'm sorry, Kurt."

Kurt shifted. "What?"

"I didn't want you to know. I didn't want you to be upset…" Blaine pressed into him. He felt small and helpless. He'd hurt Kurt physically already and feeling the boy's tears on his skin felt even worse.

Kurt snorted. "You idiot. You probably thought I was a big pathetic baby when I was dealing with Karofsky and getting slushies in the face. That was nothing like what you went through… _I'm_ sorry."

Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt. "You can't compare it like that. Bullying is bullying. I didn't think you were pathetic. I thought you were terrified. I wished I could protect you. I want to protect you. I don't want to be the bad guy."

Kurt moved and kissed him again, long and hard, loosening the gel in his hair as his fingers ran through it.

Neither of them moved for a long time. After an hour of silence, Kurt's body relaxed and Blaine glanced up to see that he'd fallen asleep. He curled in closer, pressing his nose against the skin just above the collar of Kurt's shirt and relaxing into his lax embrace.

He woke up when Kurt's door was opened at about half past ten. Burt helped him to slide out from Kurt's warm arms without waking him, then walked him out to his car after making sure he was fine to drive and wished him a safe drive home.

He snuck into his house and lay awake on his bed until four in the morning humming softly and staring at Kurt's picture on his phone. When he finally drifted to sleep he dreamed of lying on cold asphalt and Kurt's voice drifting down from above him.

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><p><strong>AN**- Reviews and responses appreciated.


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N**- I'm finally back! Sorry for the long break, but I had to have finals and graduate and all that, then I had to get over being lazy. So I'm finally back in the swing of things and will be wrapping this up finally! You realize I've been writing this fic for 6 months now? Gracious.

JLTWWD has reached 60k hits. I'm super flattered, guys! Thank you so much for reading and enjoying or reading and leaving or just for clicking on the link multiple times or refreshing the page. However we came to this number, it looks really cool in my stats and makes me feel warm and fuzzy, so thank you!

New fic rec for your last chapter! It's called "The Muse" by Cimmerians, but this fic comes with warnings. Be very sure to carefully read the summary so you fully understand what's going on in this fic before reading. It's beautifully written with a fabulous vocabulary and plot, but there are certain elements revolving around dramatic age gaps that I found disturbing. I ended up doing a lot of legal research because of this fic and it took me a long while to decide reading it was worth getting over certain other things that I'm not 100% comfortable with. So be warned, but the writing is worth it.

And now without further ado:

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><p><strong>Just Like the White Winged Dove<strong>

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><p>Blaine made a lot of changes over the following weeks. He started going to a therapy group for bullied teenagers on top of his one-on-one sessions. He enrolled in yoga with Kurt. He went through a long process to make sure he could never again own a gun. "You used to own a <em>gun<em>?" Kurt asked, shocked. After a look from Blaine, he never brought it up again.

Together they slowly went through the file, taking each page out of the bin and returning them to the manila envelope. Sometimes Blaine would want to go over several in one night and they would sing or dance together after. Sometimes Kurt wouldn't even see one and they'd just lie on the bed cuddling till Blaine calmed down. Sometimes Kurt would pull Blaine in close and stroke his hair and sometimes he would curl against Blaine's chest and listen to his heartbeat.

After the second time, they tried to get into the habit of reading the files early and baking cookies or watching old movies afterwards. That was Kurt's idea, and it worked for Blaine. Spending time having fun together made it more of a date and less of a dreaded weekly event like his therapy still was. It also gave Finn an opportunity to come out of his room and try to be cordial to Blaine. However, it did have the side-effect of making their nights run late. More than once, Burt had to come in while Kurt was giggling hysterically and Blaine was crooning some sappy song to him, and tell Blaine it was time to head home.

"It's been awhile," Burt said, one night after Blaine was in his car, safely driving away.

"I know, we were past curfew again, but you can't just cut off Judy Garland in the middle of—"

"No, I mean it's been a long time since you opened up and laughed like that."

Kurt realized his face was still lit up and tried to calm down his features. "He makes me happy."

"I know." He pulled Kurt in and hugged him by the shoulders. "It's been obvious."

During those weeks Kurt learned that Blaine had been a model student, but his grades had crashed around the same time he came out and they didn't pick back up again until he'd been at Dalton for several months. He learned about the boxing tournaments Blaine had competed in over the last year, and the few he won. He learned about the various therapies, medications, councilors, and groups Blaine had gone through. He read the newspaper article from the day after Blaine had been hurt while Blaine leaned against his shoulder. Every time he saw the date printed on one of the reports or articles his heart dropped. He stroked Blaine's back while he listen about Blaine's family and what they'd tried to do to help and how they'd failed. The walls Blaine had built were thick, but messy and recent. Kurt often wondered if it had happened him if he'd have even made it. Slowly they depleted the crumpled files, finishing the day before prom.

As he slipped the last paper into the file and handed it to Blaine, Kurt asked, "What are you going to do with it?"

"Burn it," Blaine answered immediately. After a moment of consideration he said, "Keep it. I'll just… I'll keep it. As a reminder."

Kurt got up off the bed, searched through one of his drawers and pulled out a long yellow ribbon.

"What's that?"

Kurt took the file from Blaine and very carefully packaged the file with the ribbon and tied a perfect bow just to the upper right of center, then he handed it back to Blaine. "So it won't escape again, until you want it to."

Blaine took him by the hand, pulled him onto his lap, and kissed him.

* * *

><p>When the day of the dance finally rolled around, Kurt spent most of the early morning on the phone with Rachel trying to explain to her that Jesse St James was not the lesser of two evils and that it's called 'evil' because there's not a lesser option. Still, he was glad she had turned down all three of Finn's attempts to win her back and that Finn would be sitting alone in his room playing video games and moping instead of going to the dance. Also, the fact that Rachel had accepted Kurt's choices for her dress and hairstyle certainly didn't make the day any worse.<p>

Kurt was trying to convince his hair to fluff the right way before he put the finishing touches on his ensemble when Blaine arrived at the door.

Burt answered it and smiled. Blaine was wearing a trim suit and holding a Boutonniere that matched the one pinned to his jacket. Burt welcomed him in and gave him a hug as he crossed the threshold.

"You look good, kid."

"Thank you," Blaine smiled. "Is Kurt-?"

Burt shook his head, "Haven't seen him in three hours, so you've probably got some time to kill. The game's on, might as well wait on the couch for him." He called up the stairs that Blaine was there and got an exasperated, "_I'll be down in a minute!"_ back. He then led the way into the living room, turned up the volume on the game and sat down in the big chair. Blaine carefully sat on the couch and took a few deep breaths.

Burt looked over at him. "Calm down. Kurt's crazy about you."

Blaine laughed and looked away, shyly. _"Ditto"_ seemed like an inappropriate response given the situation, so he quickly changed the subject to the game.

After a heated discussion about the teams involved, Burt asked, "So how's the, ah, how's the yoga with Kurt going?"

Blaine perked up. "Great! It's been really relaxing. It was a great idea." Not to mention how amazing the outfits Kurt wore for it were. Some days he went just to see what amazingly tight, fitted clothes his boyfriend would have on.

"Are you two the only boys in the class?"

"Surprisingly, no. One of the University football coaches requires his team to take yoga over the summer for flexibility and to keep their muscles strong, so there are several other guys there."

Burt nodded and hummed, genuinely impressed. "And they don't give you any trouble?"

"No, sir," Blaine smiled. Burt smiled back.

"Hey, you can knock off the _sir_, bit." He quickly amended that, "_After_ you bring Kurt safely back home from his first prom."

Blaine grinned and laughed to himself. "Okay."

* * *

><p>When Kurt came down about forty five minutes later, he announced his presence, then stopped at the bottom of the stairs. Blaine stood, and for a moment they just stared at each other.<p>

"You look amazing," Blaine said, pinning the boutonniere to Kurt's jacket and leaning in to kiss him while Burt went to find the camera. He then held Kurt out at arm's length and looked carefully at his outfit. "It's not too much?"

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Trust me," he said, squeezing Blaine's hand as Burt came back into the room. "This is the toned-down version."

"A'right, kids. Lean in like you love each other. I'm framing the worst shot," Burt said, holding up the camera and snapping the surprised expression on both of their faces as they turned around.

Kurt protested and quickly took over direction of the photoshoot, smoothing out Blaine's jacket and futzing with his own hair, then dictating different angles and poses. Blaine just smiled and went along with whatever Kurt wanted. He and Burt shared a few looks as the minutes dragged on closer to an hour,

They finally left the house, sharing a few more short kisses and words of encouragement in the car—which Blaine had thoroughly cleaned for the occasion. When they pulled up to the school, prom had already begun, you could hear the music from all the way out in the parking lot. They stared at each other for a moment before working up the courage to go in.

"Are you sure?"

Blaine smiled, leaned over and kissed him. "I'm positive. I couldn't possibly drag you away from it now, anyway. Not when you look so beautiful."

"This look did take all day to achieve," Kurt smirked.

"Then we'd better go show you off."

"Do I have to open my own door, or-?"

Blaine burst into giggles and made to get out of the car, "No, a proper gentleman always does that for the lady." Kurt gently punched him in the arm as Blaine slid out the car, but he waited for Blaine to walk around it to open his door and extend his hand for him.

"Well, this _lady_ thinks the gentleman is going to be mighty surprised when he finds out what's underneath her skirt," Kurt said as he stepped primly out of the car. Blaine laughed again and hung his head. He took a breath then slipped his hand around Kurt's waist.

"I'm joking. I'm sorry." He sighed happily, "Kurt, you're so handsome. I am the luckiest guy in Ohio to be going to this dance with the most beautiful, most incredible man I've ever met."

Kurt grinned and leaned into Blaine. "Well, I hope he knows you're spoken for, because I watched multiple ninja movies to train for this and am prepared to fight off anyone who tries to take you away from me."

Blaine pressed Kurt back against the car and kissed him again gently. He looked up at Kurt through his lashes. "Don't worry; he knows exactly who my heart belongs to."

Kurt's eyelashes fluttered, he smiled and squeezed Blaine's arm. "Then let's go in."

Although the Glee club was set to perform the music for the dance, Kurt wasn't scheduled to sing till later in the evening, which was good because once they got inside Blaine tensed noticeably even though he was outwardly smiling. They spent the first several songs standing at the back of the room with Kurt commenting and cracking jokes, occasionally waving at his friends.

"This is nice," Blaine said after a rousing performance of Rebecca Black's "Friday."

"No, I think this is proof that that song cannot be improved," Kurt replied, sighing heavily. "Literally nothing can be done for it."

"No, I mean," Blaine tugged on the edge of Kurt's sleeve then let go. Kurt looked over at him and smiled warmly. Blaine returned the smile. Half the nerves in his body were telling him to lean in and kiss his gorgeous boyfriend and maybe undo that bowtie and slip his fingers under the collar, but the other half were panicking that any show of affection would be a death warrant for both of them, and it was almost unbearable… But Kurt's smile was so warm and he just looked so amazing. "This is nice," he said again, "Being here with you. I'm glad you asked me."

Kurt grinned and glanced away momentarily. "I wouldn't have asked anyone else," he said softly.

"Thank you."

Kurt's response was cut off by Tina running up. She was grinning and wrapped her arms around his neck. Mike followed and gave Blaine a shoulder hug and told him it was good to see him. The four stood to talk for a while before Tina dragged Mike off again to dance with her again.

The rest of the evening was on-again-off-again socializing with the variously members of New Directions, and stolen glances and nudges the rest of the time. Everyone was friendly and it didn't take long for Blaine to mostly feel at ease. Puck even offered a security detail lead by himself and one Lauren Zizes, who he had asked to prom, to everyone's surprise.

Finally it was Kurt's turn to take the stage, and he left Blaine at a table with many of the group's coats and purses. He squeezed Blaine's hand and smiled at him before walking around the outside of the dance floor and onto the stage. He accepted the microphone from Rachel who had just finished her emotional performance of Kelly Clarkson's "Don't Let Me Stop You." As she handed off the microphone she murmured a "Go get 'em!" before climbing down to an awaiting Jesse.

Kurt placed the microphone back into the stand and located Blaine across the room, he closed his eyes as the lights dimmed, and he started off the song.

_"At last…"_ he held out the long vowel, and the band picked up after him. The crowd started swaying and he gripped the microphone with both hands. _"My love has come along."_

Blaine sat up straight in the back of the room. He placed both hands on his lips and blew Kurt a kiss. Kurt smiled and caught it.

_"My lonely days are over, and life is like a song…"_

Rachel was swaying with Jesse, but watching Kurt on stage and they winked at each other. Mercedes blew him a kiss from where she was dancing with Sam. Kurt smiled back at her, then announced, "This is for all the couples in the room!" In the back, Puck and Zizes sat down next to Blaine and Puck clapped him on the shoulder.

_"At last! The skies above are blue. My heart was wrapped up in clover."_ He swayed and closed his eyes, opening them and looking straight back at Blaine for the next line, _"The night I looked at you."_

There was a catcall that sounded distinctly like Artie. Blaine was grinning.

_"I found a dream that I could speak to. A dream that I can call my own."_ He took the microphone out of the stand, but continued to hold onto it while he moved to stand beside it. _"I found a thrill to press my cheek to,"_ he let go of the stand and pressed his hand to his cheek and then held it out in Blaine's direction over the crowd of swaying couples. _"A thrill that I have never known!"_

There were a few more catcalls. In the back Puck was trying to encourage Blaine to stand up. Kurt put the microphone back into the stand.

_"You smile, Oh! and then the spell was cast. And here we are in heaven,"_ Blaine's full attention was back on Kurt, _"For you are mine…"_

The whole room was silent for a split second and Kurt could swear he was in a musical because for an entire breath it was like nothing else existed and Blaine being across a room full of people was no distance at all. In that moment, Kurt could have sworn he heard Blaine's heartbeat. He took a deep breath and let rip the last line.

_"At last!"_

The applause and cheers rang up before he finished the last note, then he curtseyed and tried to walk and not skip off the stage after returning the microphone to its stand.

Blaine was on his feet, trying not to give in to Puck's words of encouragement to run across the room to Kurt. He'd stay firmly rooted. He'd wait until Kurt got back to the table then he'd give him an affectionate handshake. He would not scoop Kurt up into his arms and twirl him around like he wanted to, even though his heart was beating with love and adrenaline. Maybe it was the evening, or maybe it was just that Kurt's voice had that affect on him, but he felt like he could almost do anything after a ballad like that.

But there were so many eyes in the room…

When Kurt reached them, grinning smugly, Blaine grabbed both his hands and whispered, "I love you."

Kurt smiled and repeated the sentiment just before Puck called Blaine a wuss, pushed him out of the way and hugged Kurt properly. Kurt laughed and patted Puck on the back, wincing slightly. Zizes, who had been sitting opposite the boys during the song told them that they were _all_ a bunch of wusses. She stood swiftly and kissed Blaine square on the mouth before he could raise more than his eyebrows. Kurt's face went white.

"Ah—I—Wha-? That's my boyfriend!" Kurt protested, a little shriller than he'd meant to.

Puck finally remembered how to operate his dropped jaw and pointed incredulously at Blaine, "That's his boyfriend!" he reiterated.

Lauren rolled her eyes. "Yeah, but I, and every other girl in this room have been waiting to mack out with him all evening. God damn! This boy!" She patted Blaine's cheek, "Now you can thank me. I just gave you two some incentive to get your asses in gear. Fer Christ's sake! Go take over a bathroom stall and git yer snog on. Me an' my man 'got to get ourselves crowned royalty."

She dragged Puck off by his shirt collar before he could formulate further thoughts. After a moment of stunned, but heavy breathing, Kurt turned back to Blaine who had just regained control of his faculties.

Blaine closed his mouth, and began to blink in surprise. He slowly turned to face Kurt. "That was quite a kiss."

Kurt set his jaw straight, pursed his lips and said, "Please follow me to the hallway."

Blaine did as he was told. He followed Kurt out the gym door and down the hall. As soon as they'd turned the corner, out of sight of anyone around, Kurt pulled him by his lapels and kissed him hard on the lips. He slung his arms around Blaine's shoulders and pulled him in closer.

After a few seconds he pulled away, panting, then landed three more short kisses on Blaine's lips. "Okay, we can go back in," he announced.

It took Blaine until Kurt had let him go and began to straighten his own jacket to respond. "Are you being possessive?" he asked slyly, his eyelashes fluttering open.

Kurt leaned in. His voice was low and husky, "My ninja training did not account for Lauren Zizes." Blaine laughed, and Kurt countered, "She's on the wrestling team!"

Blaine put his hands on Kurt's hips and pulled them closer, humming. "Do we have to go back inside?"

Kurt raised his eyebrows, "Do you want to leave?"

After a long moment, filled with another long kiss, Blaine decided, "No," then leaned in and kissed him again. "I want to dance with you."

A grin spread rapidly over Kurt's face and cumulated in short giggles. He kissed Blaine's nose, then his cheek, then hugged him. "My brave boyfriend," he whispered, then lead the way back toward the gym.

They re-entered the prom before it could become too obvious why they'd left and just in time to see the crowning of royalty. Puck had just been announced Prom King and was raising up his hands like he'd expected it to happen all along. He was crowned and punched the air with a shout. Kurt dragged Blaine into the crowd around the stage, close to where Rachel was standing, and clapped for Puck.

Next, the Prom Queen was announced. Principal Figgins took a very long pause to examine the card in his hands before announcing "Miss Quinn Fabray!" to the shock of the audience.

Quinn had smartly campaigned alone and, despite some weird smear tactics waged by both Santana and Lauren, she still really was the most popular girl in the school. She and Lauren shared a long, uncomfortable look that clearly made Puck nervous, but after a moment Lauren shrugged, smiled, and Quinn was crowned without incident. She and Puck took the dance floor to Mercedes and Santana singing ABBA's "Dancing Queen."

About halfway through the song, Puck handed Quinn off to a rather attractive track star, who danced with her for the remainder of the evening, and he held out a hand to Lauren. He placed his crown on her head, and they danced the rest of the song together. Kurt clapped enthusiastically with everyone else, and nudged Blaine, who smiled back

After that, Santana was dancing with Brittany and Blaine braved three dances in a row with Kurt, which was two more than Kurt had expected. He leaned his head on Blaine's shoulder during Mercedes's final number, and even though Blaine's heartbeat sped up slightly, it felt right. Slow-dancing at his prom with Blaine really did make it feel like everything he'd ever wanted was falling into place.

Before the evening ended, Rachel and Jesse had sung an a cappella version of "Rolling in the Deep," Kurt and Tina had done a Sonny and Cher duet, and Blaine had been called up to take over a number Finn was meant to sing. He had the entire crowd dancing and swooning at the front of the stage before he was through. Kurt grinned at him from the back. It didn't matter where he was or how he was feeling: there was no shyness to Blaine when he was on stage.

"You should run for Prom King next year," Blaine joked as they shared another long kiss after climbing back into the car afterwards.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Oh god no. Something would happen; it would end up like _Carrie,_ or worse. Besides, I'm not exactly Prom King material. And who would I run with, Mister Dalton Academy? And what would I wear?"

Blaine kissed him again, cutting him off and running his fingers through Kurt's hair. "Thank you for taking me."

"That was the best night of my life—I wouldn't have wanted you to miss it."

"I'm glad I didn't. Honestly I was expecting something to happen, but nothing did."

"Nope. No incidents. It was a bully-free environment." To emphasize the point, he power-locked the car doors.

Blaine smiled. "Bully free…"

Kurt kissed him again, then put on his seatbelt. "Well, except for if you count Lauren."

Blaine laughed, "I don't know if you could call that bullying. If I turn out Bi, I now know who to call."

"Please don't."

"Hm?"

Kurt fidgeted, "Start liking girls, I mean. Please," his voice got really soft, and he folded both hands in his lap. "I just...I like my chances better with you… being gay."

Blaine reached over and squeezed Kurt's knee and kissed him passionately, leaning over the console. Then he sat back in his seat, buckled his seatbelt and turned on the car. "I am. One hundred percent. And I'm in love with you."

Kurt nodded and smiled. "Good," he murmured, "I feel the same."

"Well then let's get out of here and find a quiet place where we can make out for a few minutes before I have to take you home."

Kurt laughed and agreed, then gasped. "Oh yeah! I almost forgot; I heard an interesting rumor that Finn plans to quit the Glee club."

Blaine paused, "Really?"

Kurt shrugged. "That's what Puck said. Finn's decided to quit and focus on sports again."

"Is… is he okay? Not depressed or anything?"

"I don't know. Normally I'd be breaking down his door and dragging him back in, telling him how great he is but… Is it bad if I don't feel like it? I mean, I don't _want_ to ask him to come back. I don't _want_ to encourage him. For the first time I honestly think we don't actually need him. I just… I feel like I put so much hope in him and now I'm disillusioned. He tried to drag you away from me. Why should I keep pretending he's better than he is? Is that selfish?"

Blaine released the break and started backing the car out of the parking space. "I don't think so. I think Finn's going to run his own life, and you can respect it, but he shouldn't be allowed to run the rest of your lives too. I mean, Rachel's really always been the leader, hasn't she? I got the impression that even before any of you could stand her, she was still the one who kept everything together. And besides, they have you."

Kurt leaned over and kissed Blaine's shoulder.

* * *

><p>About two weeks later, the McKinley high school New Directions were in New York City running rampant and Kurt's outlook on his future was changing. He instantly loved New York, and he loved that in being there, for the first time since Finn had dumped her, the old Rachel was back. She was excited and focused without the distraction of Finn, who hadn't even come to the choir room to say goodbye, and within the first hour off the plane, she'd announced her intention to live in New York someday. It didn't take Kurt more than a second thought to decide that he was going to live there too.<p>

"…Would you move here with me?" he asked Blaine on the phone the night before the competition. "Start a whole new life after high school…in New York?"

_"Absolutely,"_ Blaine replied, without hesitation.

Kurt breathed deeply. They had just finished a three hour rehearsal to polish the performance. The rest of the team had crowded into the girl's room and Kurt had taken the opportunity to brave the boy's room and call Blaine.

"You will?"

"_Kurt, I would love to! I mean, right now I feel like I would follow you anywhere, but New York? There's no better place to perform, right?"_

Kurt hugged himself. "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! It's going to be great!..."

* * *

><p>For the competition, the New Directions had a three song set that opened with Kurt and Rachel breaking out the Wicked and performing a duet of "For Good," crossing the stage to meet each other and holding hands by the end of the number. The number was complimented by a classical ballroom dance performed by Brittany and Mike that was absolutely beautiful. After the song Rachel whispered urgently in his ear, "What if Idina Menzel saw us?" and he squeezed her hand and winked at her. It didn't matter who was there; they were <em>in<em> New York, performing. That was the biggest step his life had ever taken. It could only get better.

"For Good" was followed by Mercedes taking away everyone's breath with "I Am Changing" from Dreamgirls. Then, for their closing number the group performed an original song that they had worked diligently on during the week leading up to the competition. It was called "Light Up the World," and was performed with a complicated and energetic dance routines, and featured everyone's voices, especially Puck's, since he got to take over all the parts written for Finn.

Even the judges were on their feet dancing and the overall performance just barely slipped them into the top 10 slot, which—for a small choir from the middle of nowhere—was the greatest thing that had happened to any of them.

Kurt called Blaine immediately after.

"Blaine?"

"…_Kurt?_"

"We made the top ten!"

Kurt was laughing so hard and jumping up and down and almost missed Blaine's whoop and his enthusiastic, _"Oh my god! Congratulations!"_

"I know it's not quite a win, but—"

Blaine scoffed, _"Are you kidding? Top ten out of every other Glee club in the nation? That's pretty much a win! I'm so proud of you!"_

Kurt just squealed and bounced for another moment, then, "I'm going to see you tomorrow, right? When I get home?"

"_You couldn't keep me away. And hey, when you get back I have a surprise for you, okay?"_

"For moi?"

_ "For my big winner," _Blaine cooed._ "I promise you'll love it."_

"I know I will."

That night the New Directions practically trashed their hotel rooms in celebration.

* * *

><p>After he arrived home in Ohio, which was considerably flatter and more quaint than he'd remembered, he followed Blaine's cryptic text message directions exactly. He started from his own house where Burt was clearly in on something, and wound up outside McKinley high staring up the steps at an ocean of blue blazers and New Directions members. His friends hopped down the steps to meet him, and he hugged them back, but he kept his eyes fixed on Blaine.<p>

"I know this is a bit early, but happy birthday, Kurt," he said, then the Warblers started off with the first note of the song.

_"It's not unusual to be loved by anyone,"_ Blaine shook his hips. _"It's not unusual to have fun with anyone. But when I see you hanging around with anyone, it's not unusual to see me cry."_ Here the music built differently from the Tom Jone's number into a distinct, "_Oh!"_

Kurt's hands were on his face and he was laughing before Blaine even started singing the next line. Deep down he was torn between wishing it wasn't a weekend so the entire school could have seen him being serenaded, and being glad it was just the Warblers and his closest friends. It might have been the jetlag still lingering, or it might have been that Blaine just knew exactly how to move that body of his, but Kurt had never been more turned on.

A mash-up. A mash-up for his birthday gift.

"_I think I love you!"_ there were some cheers from the New Directions, who were mostly still crowded around Kurt._ "I think I love you, so what am I so afraid of? I'm afraid that I'm not sure of, a love there is no cure for."_Blaine skipped down so he was standing one step above Kurt and held out his hand. _"I think I love you, isn't that was life is made of?"_ his voice rose as he tugged Kurt toward him, _"And if you should ever wanna be loved by anyone, it's not unusual—it happens every day. No matter what they say. Oh, I think I love you!"_

Kurt's head was spinning with the excitement and his body was spinning straight into Blaine's arms. He had never been given anything as wonderful as this in his life. He laughed aloud.

"_Love will never do, what you want it to. Why can't this crazy love be mine? I think I love you!"_A few of the band members from New Directions had shown up with portable equipment and joined in. Rachel's phone was out and she had pressed Record, biting her lip and squealing with joy for him. Kurt felt his eyes welling up.

"_Believe me, you really don't have to worry, I only wanna make you happy. And if you say, hey, go away, I will, but I think that better still, it's not unusual to find out I'm in love with you! Oh whoa whoa!… I think I love you!"_

Kurt's lips were smashed against Blaine's cheek as soon as the song was over and Blaine immediately dipped him around with a flourish. Everyone whooped and cheered and there was a choreographed "Happy Birthday, Kurt!" by the Warblers who were clapping and descending the steps.

"You made me a mash-up!" Kurt whispered to Blaine, holding his face with both hands once he'd been righted.

"I made you a mash-up," Blaine repeated, breathless.

Kurt leaned forward and kissed him again, this time on the lips, then he flung his arms around Blaine's neck and held him tightly. In Blaine's ear he whispered, "I don't think you have a choice anymore; I think I'm keeping you."

Blaine giggled and swung him around in his arms, "Yes please."

"Awww!" Puck cooed, "Hugs all around!"

There was hardly time to brace themselves before the two were being encompassed by their friends. Kurt pressed his nose against Blaine's neck and breathed deeply. There was no way to deny it: this had been the best year of his life.

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>AN-** Finale! That's right, folks, I did a mash-up (harder than I thought it'd be).

Thank you to everyone who's been enjoying Just Like the White Winged Dove. I've loved your comments and I've loved every minute of writing it (even the frustrating ones).

If you liked this and you like twins keep a weather eye on the horizon, because I have something new planned for this summer that hopefully I can deliver.

Also, if you have any questions or comments or anything to say to me you can either write it in a review or find me on tumblr at shesaidclud.

Thanks for reading!


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